Banished (Forbidden) Read online

  The girl lowered her lashes shyly. “This is a custom reserved for honored guests.”

  Isra hovered, providing soap and hot water from the fire. “This is my youngest child, Zilyah. She’s such a blessing to me, as is my son, Asher. We’ve heard so much about you, Jayden. The stories are spreading across the city. Stories of a girl traveling such a great distance with only one camel. It’s a miracle you’re here—alive. I’m sure your mother would be so proud of you. Worried, but proud, as any mother would be for their daughter.”

  “You know about my—” Emotion rose up my belly hard and fast.

  Tenderly, Isra cupped my face, knowledge in her eyes. “She might have left this world, but she hasn’t left you. I sense her in you, Jayden.”

  “That’s my greatest wish, to someday be like her. I’ve tried so hard to keep my promises . . . and feel like I’ve only failed . . .” My voice trailed away, the words inadequate.

  “Eat a few morsels, child. I promise you’ll sleep soundly tonight. No lonely fears to guard against on the desert.”

  There was a hot lentil soup, fresh bread, dates, and fruit. My stomach was so tight and hollow I could only eat a little even though it was delicious.

  After we ate, I spotted a bath in the far reaches of the cave. Light from a dozen candles sitting in niches revealed the cave was divided into several rooms. “Where’s your husband?” I asked, embarrassed.

  “Chemish will sleep in Kadesh’s cave tonight so we can have some privacy.”

  “I’d love a bath and a clean dress,” I confessed, guilty for craving comforts from total strangers.

  “I prepared it just for you, my dear.” Isra left me behind a curtain for privacy, and I undressed and climbed into the tub, scrubbing every inch of my body and in between each toe. Zilyah helped me wash my hair twice, and then poured bowls of warm water over my head.

  I was tempted to throw my tattered dress into the fire, but instead I washed the fabric with the last of the soapy water, scrubbing at the embedded dirt. After wringing it out, I hung the dress along one of the stone walls to dry for packing in the morning.

  Shivering, with damp hair, I stood by the fire to put on the dress Chemish’s wife had left for me. It was a deep green color with threads of gold running through the fitted bodice and flared skirt. Embroidered sleeves fell below my wrists. It was one of the loveliest dresses I’d ever worn, and I was grateful for her generosity.

  “It fits perfectly, Jayden,” Isra said with approval, a candle in her hand.

  “The dress is too lovely to travel in. I’m afraid it’s going to be in shreds by the time we arrive in the southern lands.”

  She waved away my words, the gesture reminding me of her husband, Chemish. “After birthing five sons and a daughter I can’t fit in it any longer. It’s been sitting in my chest for years. But Jayden,” she broke off, darting a quick glance behind her. “Please stay here with me. The trip to the lands of frankincense is horribly difficult. Some don’t survive. And traveling with all those dirty Edomites—pah! You couldn’t bribe me enough!” Her eyes widened in a joking manner, but there was an underlying seriousness.

  “Aren’t you related to a few of them?” My lips quirked upward.

  The woman laughed softly. “Chemish is even taking Asher on the journey. He needs more caravan experience before he leads one of his own someday.”

  I remembered the young man studying me with curious eyes.

  “You’ll be safer here,” Isra pressed. “And I’d love someone new to gossip with. Our little village up on the plateau where we farm and raise our sheep is becoming quite dull.”

  “But I wouldn’t be safe. Horeb is on the desert tracking me. And—and I must be with Kadesh.”

  She kissed me on each cheek. “Young love cannot be apart. It was wishful thinking on my part, but I wish you safe travels.” Isra paused. “I can see why Kadesh is taken with you. You have a spirit about you, a way of holding yourself tranquil and composed. But underneath your serenity lies a fiery will for survival and devotion to those you love. So different from—from the other girls who have tried to enchant the prince of the Sariba kingdom.”

  “Other girls?” I fought for composure. Of course there would be women who would desire Kadesh for a husband. “A prince is a coveted position indeed.”

  Isra led me to a hanging tapestry. Behind the wall lay a bed piled with pillows and blankets against the winter chill. “Sleep well, Jayden.”

  Homesickness washed over me with a swift fierceness. My hands curled into fists of weariness and anxiety. I wished Shay was here so I could curl around her warm belly. I hadn’t slept without her for nearly two months, since I’d purchased her in the camel market at Mari.

  I lifted my eyes to the roof of the cave. “Oh, mother,” I whispered. “Are you watching from the world of spirits? Do you see me here in this world of fear and death?”

  A moment later I heard the rustling of blankets on the other side of the tapestry, and then Isra softly singing to her daughter. The melody wound around my heart, reminding me of all the lullabies my mother had sung to me and Leila whenever we were tired or frightened or ill. My throat filled with a lump of grief. I was nearly seventeen, but I still needed my mother’s love and guidance. Desperately I tried to capture her face and voice in my mind and hold on to it, despite the tenuous grasp.

  Sleep became impossible. Finally I rose and tiptoed to the entrance of the cave. Stars and moonlight traced Isra’s melody, silver light dripping along the stone walls like mystical water.

  My arms and hips began to sway to her voice, marking the beats, my bare toes silent on the cold red sandstone. A sacred night enlarged before my eyes. Isra’s song swathed my thoughts, and my body sang its dance. Just as I’d danced at my mother’s grave, I danced the love for my family in an eternal bond that wouldn’t diminish no matter how far apart we were.

  Turning in small circles, I reached my arms to the heavens, yearning to grasp my mother’s spirit. The faces of my family flashed across my mind, and I knew with certainty I had to return to the oasis at Tadmur. I had to get Leila from the temple. I had to convince my father and grandmother to come with us. I couldn’t leave them behind.

  Once I was safely living in the southern lands, it was certain I’d never see them again. I’d never know their fate. Kadesh’s Sariba kingdom was a land of bounty and peace. If they came with us, my family would be well taken care of.

  The idea was insane, but I had to go north—opposite the direction Kadesh and the Edomite army planned to go—and get the family I’d promised my mother I’d care for.

  Shivers rushed along my arms. Horeb had been in Mari, but where was he now? Aligning himself with the Assyrians in the north—or rounding up an army in Damascus? If his spy in the hills had managed to kidnap me I’d already be in his captivity and tied forever to a marriage bed I loathed.

  Horeb would use threats and blackmail against my father and sister to lure me back to his prison. Without Abimelech, my father didn’t have an ally in the tribe any longer.

  Horeb’s sinister connection to the High Priestess Armana could also prove to be Leila’s downfall. She could be mistreated. Sold as a sex slave. Forced to have children to be sacrificed to the goddess of Ashtoreth.

  Misery awaited my family if I left them in Tadmur. I couldn’t wait for that to happen. I had to go to Tadmur now—before Horeb got there.

  All at once, something glittered below the stone staircase where I danced. Halting, I held myself as still as the stone. Moonlight glinted off the hilt of a sword.

  My eyes widened when the sound of cautious footsteps paused. A male figure glanced up at me and his eyes gleamed, like a wild cat.

  It was Asher. Wordlessly, we stared at each other. Had he been watching me dance? The scene reminded me of the night long ago when I’d danced on the desert after burying my mother. The night Kadesh couldn’t sleep after the burning of his wound, and caught me unawares.

  What was Asher doing out this lat
e? He must be coming to see his mother, to fetch something. After all, this large, sumptuous cave was his family home. Tentatively, I smiled as though our encounter was nothing, but he didn’t return the gesture. Instead, his face was impassive. It soon became clear I wasn’t supposed to be outside on the terrace of the cave.

  He didn’t move, didn’t speak. Then a second figure slipped out of the darkness. Quickly, I stepped back and shuddered. It was the same scar-faced Edomite horseman who had stolen our camels last year to pay for usage of the well—blatant thievery when we were dying with need of water—and lewdly suggested taking me and Leila for payment as well.

  I’d hoped I’d never see him again.

  What did Asher have to do with that awful man?

  My bare feet made no sound as I darted back inside the cave and made my way past the fire. For another hour I tossed and turned, reliving the long day with all its emotions, unable to shake the sight of the two Edomite warriors meeting in the dead of night.

  When I finally fell asleep, I swore I felt the soft press of Isra’s lips against my forehead. A voice whispered, “Sleep, child,” but I didn’t know if the voice belonged to Isra or my mother.

  6

  In the early light of dawn, Isra embraced me good-bye, while her daughter stared with shy curiosity. “I’ll pray for your safety every day, dear girl,” the woman murmured as I thanked her for her many kindnesses.

  Quickly, I headed to Kadesh’s cave. When I spotted him, he was crouched at the entrance cooking breakfast. Seeing him engrossed in his task made my breath catch. For so many months I’d thought he would only live in my memories.

  A laugh bubbled up my throat as I raced up the staircase, my hair billowing. He was the same, but different, too, and I was suddenly shy around him.

  “Dawn’s creeping fingers are here, my love. As soon as we eat, we’re gone. Here’s a brush for your hair—although I confess I love the tangled look on you.” Kadesh ran his fingers through my curls and I trembled at his touch.

  “Maybe I can start looking like a real person again instead of a wild girl.”

  “You look completely real to me,” Kadesh said, encircling me with his arms.

  I loved the feel of his body, his warmth, his strength, his heartbeat thudding against my ear. “You feel completely real—” I started to say in agreement, but before I could finish he pressed his lips against mine, so gently, so sweetly, I wanted to weep. My legs turned weak and my soul rose with an inexplicable happiness.

  The kiss deepened, but Kadesh abruptly broke away, his chest heaving as if he couldn’t bear the power of our physical contact. “Jayden, daughter of Pharez, I’ll honor and cherish you until I die.”

  I traced the terrible scar around his blind eye and Kadesh clung to me, burying his face in my neck. I held him tight while the morning sun streaked the rocks a brilliant pink. I drank in the miracle of him, grateful Horeb’s blade hadn’t marred the rest of him.

  “You are more lovely than any of my dreams, Jayden.” Smoothing his thick dark hair with my hands, I marveled at the reality of this moment, at the reality of him, solid in my arms.

  I shook away his compliments. “I’m sunburned and travel weary—and need ten more baths.”

  “You saved me from rotting alone in this cave for the rest of my life.” His tone turned serious as he gazed down into my face. “You saved me from a wicked despair growing in my soul. There were nights I thought I’d die in this cave. Never see you again. Never go home to my uncle and family.”

  I recognized the hurt in his eyes. “I don’t believe that for one moment. You are too strong and compassionate to sit in a cave for the rest of your life. Even while you recovered from near death, you’ve been healing people and spreading your gift. Gedaliah’s son is proof of that.”

  “I’m astounded you traveled such a great distance, alone.”

  A smile crept across my lips. “I was highly motivated. And I bought a marvelous camel.”

  He chuckled at my words. “She is a worthy camel. You chose wisely, my desert girl. I admire your spirit, your determination. I am your servant for the rest of my life. And one day . . .”

  I leaned into him, drinking in his warm and spicy scent. “And one day?”

  “One day I won’t sleep in a cold cave, alone. I’ll take you to the marriage tent, and we’ll never be apart again.”

  “To be safe in the southern lands and never spend a single moment apart will be our very own creation of heaven.”

  We stared at each other for a moment, wishing the future was already here, and then Kadesh gently tugged on my hand. “Our army and journey awaits.”

  The unsettling scene from the previous night returned. I had to tell Kadesh what I’d witnessed. “Something strange happened. Late last night, I saw Chemish’s son, Asher, speaking with someone.”

  “I thought you were tucked safely away with Isra.”

  “I couldn’t sleep. I was missing home . . . missing my mother. I went out on the terrace of Isra’s cave.”

  “But Asher was with his father.”

  I twisted my hands together. “He was down below the staircase. I know he saw me, too. Our eyes met.”

  “He was watching you?” Incredulity lined Kadesh’s words.

  “No, Asher was meeting the Edomite who robbed us last year. The thief who stole your gold, nearly killed my father, and threatened to defile me and Leila. There was one reason I was afraid to come to these canyon lands to look for you: that man. What is he doing so close to the Edomite leader’s home? In the dead of night?”

  The muscles in Kadesh’s face tensed. “His name is Laban. Yes, he’s a true Edomite, and no, he’s not a man of God or honor. But,” he paused, his gaze dropping away.

  Something twisted inside me. “No, Kadesh,” I started. “No.”

  He gripped my hand in reassurance. “Laban is coming with us to the southern lands. Last year, Chemish banished him from the city, and he’s been out on the desert, but we’ve called him back to travel with the army. For penitence—and because he’s the best fighter we have. He swore allegiance to Chemish.”

  “My skin crawls to look at him.”

  “You won’t have to ever look at him again. He’ll be in the front guard. I’m putting you in the middle for protection with Asher as your bodyguard.”

  “But won’t I be with you?”

  “Of course, but I’m the caravan leader and tracker. I’ll have many duties while we journey. I don’t want you to be left alone. And I trust Asher completely.”

  Kadesh called for my camel while I retrieved my satchel and water pouch from the ledge of the cave’s entrance.

  Morning sunshine filled the hollows of rock. Kadesh sat on Shay so regally, his back straight, cloak flapping against Shay’s flanks in the soft breeze. It wasn’t the same cloak he’d worn when I’d seen him for the first time perched on the cliff watching me dance over my mother’s grave a year ago. I now wore the rich brown cloak with its foreign detailing. The cloak he currently fastened about his shoulders was simpler, the same forest green material as my dress. I suspected Isra had crafted it for him—and purposely given me her old dress.

  We’d come so far, but the most arduous journey still lay ahead. We were both scarred, but together we were healed and whole.

  “I love you,” I whispered. The wind caught my words and carried them down the red stone cliff. The expression on Kadesh’s face washed me in courage and serenity. When I reached Shay, the camel groaned, spit, and shook herself as I stroked her soft fur. “There’s something else I must do before I go with you to your secret homeland.”

  “Jayden, it’s risky to delay—”

  “We don’t know where Horeb is, or how close he is to finding us, but I can’t leave my family in Tadmur. I can’t bear the thought of never seeing them again.”

  “We’ll send for them once we get settled.”

  “They’ll never come on their own. And another six months from now might be too late. We might not survi
ve, and if we do, Horeb will use my father and sister as hostages. To blackmail me into coming back. He could torture them, keep them captive—to lure me back in the hope of rescuing them.”

  Kadesh’s face was thoughtful, his hands gripping my arms while I spoke. All I wanted to do was bury my face in his chest and forget Horeb existed, but I gritted my teeth and continued.

  “To hide out in the hills of Mari and make this journey alone to find you—only to return to Horeb’s clutches when he uses my family against me. We both know he will do exactly that. He needs me to legitimize his throne and himself in the eyes of the foreign tribes he’s aligning himself with.”

  “Surely you understand the great risks if we go north to the oasis?”

  I placed my hand on his face. “I took a great risk coming here alone. My life has already taken an enormous turn. I can never go back to the girl I was.”

  Kadesh winced and I could tell it hurt his honor that he hadn’t thought of rescuing my family first. His first instinct was to save me. We both had an aching need to flee hard and fast and leave these lands forever. “When I think of Horeb hurting my grandmother. Imprisoning my father. Forcing himself on Leila and then taunting me to return to save her life—if he lets my family live at all. I can’t trust him.”

  “You’re absolutely right, Jayden. We need to take them with us now. I’ll let Chemish know of the change in plans, and to use the safest route we can back to Tadmur.”

  “What do your scouts say about Horeb’s army? Have you heard anything?”

  He didn’t answer at first. “Horeb was in Damascus searching for you—and signing treaties with the Assyrians in those northern lands. But the Edomites have vowed to protect you with their lives.”

  “I will owe them a huge debt of gratitude, and I hate to put them in danger. Perhaps I should travel alone, in disguise, and then catch up to you with a—another caravan.”

  Kadesh stared at me as if I’d gone crazy. “I would never let you go alone—never again.”

  “But I know you need to return to your uncle. And I’m asking you to put your own family aside for me—once again.”