Banished (Forbidden) Read online

  DEDICATION

  For Kari,

  my sister and best friend,

  who blesses my life immeasurably

  CONTENTS

  Dedication

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  Author’s Note

  Acknowledgments

  Back Ads

  About the Author

  Books by Kimberley Griffiths Little

  Credits

  Copyright

  About the Publisher

  1

  A dirty, callused hand slapped down over my mouth and the stale breath of a man hissed in my ear. “Don’t move or I’ll slit your pretty little neck.”

  I clawed at the stranger’s cloak, trying to push him off, but he was too heavy. A moment later, I realized my ankles were tied together. I couldn’t run, couldn’t even move. Shrieks gurgled in my throat as if I was drowning, his hand cutting off my air.

  Last evening’s fire was nearly extinct and a cold, wretched moon shone a pillar of silver across the hollow I’d nestled myself into. This was my last night in the hills of Mari before I headed into the desert with my camel.

  Only one day into my journey to find Kadesh and I was already dead.

  The sharp tip of a blade pressed against my neck, and I whimpered.

  I’d planned to be gone by dawn. Leave behind the city of Mari, and Sahmril, my baby sister who was lost to me when her adoptive parents refused to give her back. The promise I’d made to my mother to keep her safe was broken.

  “Give me the frankincense of the stranger we killed.” The man’s foul breath dragged across my face. He was referring to Kadesh, the boy I loved, who’d been murdered by Horeb, the prince of my tribe. I’d watched Horeb plunge his sword into Kadesh and then order his soldiers to drag his body off.

  Shock flooded me when I realized who my attacker was. I wrenched his fingers away from my mouth and with a raw voice said, “Gad? What are you doing lurking about the cliffs of Mari?”

  This man was a childhood friend of Horeb’s and one of my own tribesmen. His body pressed against mine, and I writhed in disgust.

  There was only one reason Gad was in the foothills of Mari, far from the oasis of Tadmur where my tribe camped for the summer. He was a member of Horeb’s army.

  Horeb, my betrothed. The man who’d attacked and scarred me. Blackmailed me for the murder of his father to hide the fact that he’d killed Abimelech so he could steal the tribal crown. He thought the kingship gave him the right to murder Kadesh—because Kadesh had stolen me away. Horeb was the boy I knew as a child, ran foot races with, fought with stick swords, and tended baby camels with.

  He was now the king of the Nephish tribe, and he’d been hunting me for weeks. If he found me he’d either kill me or lock me up in chains as his wife. Guarded by soldiers so I wouldn’t slit my own wrists.

  Nausea rose up my throat as Gad’s beard grazed my cheek. He smelled vile and filthy. “Tell me where the frankincense is,” he murmured, his hand hovering over my face. “If you refuse, I’ll shove my dagger into your heart—then strip you naked to find the nuggets myself.”

  Flashes of that night when Horeb tried to rape me at the oasis pond crashed through my senses. I couldn’t relive such an attack again.

  Gad grinned and I knew he was thinking the same thing. “It’s too bad Horeb’s paying a ransom to get you back. If not, I’d be doing more than just stealing your frankincense.”

  I tried to swallow. “But I have nothing!”

  “Liar! You were seen at the camel markets in Mari. You had frankincense and now I want the rest of it.”

  “I spent everything on the camel—I can’t walk to Tadmur on foot!”

  His fingers slinked along my waist and hips, fumbling in my dress pockets.

  “Touch me and I’ll kill you,” I threatened, shifting as he searched, which freed my arm to reach the knife strapped to my thigh.

  An amused smile spread across Gad’s face. “There’s a rumor that you’re fairly adept with a knife.”

  I shuddered. So Horeb was bragging about the fact that he’d branded my body with a knife to claim me as his so nobody else would want me.

  “Where is Horeb?” I asked to distract him. “I thought he and I would travel together.”

  Gad’s laugh was scornful. “You’re a terrible liar.”

  “And when I see him next,” I continued, “I’ll tell him you’re a deserter and a thief—and tried to attack his betrothed.”

  Surprise streaked his ugly face. He obviously didn’t expect me to fight back.

  “I know you’re on the run. Give me the wealth.”

  “I don’t have anything!” I said, spitting at his face. He slapped me, and my head slammed the ground. My eyes swam with tears. I could only insult him so far. For all I knew, Horeb was already here in the Mari hills, only a shout away.

  My camel was on the far side of the boulders, looking skittish and uneasy. Her fur glowed white under the pink light of dawn.

  Gad’s grin cracked his face, showing stained brown teeth. He snatched up my cloak next, still sitting on top of me, and greedily searched the folds and inner pockets.

  Of course, I was bluffing. The last nugget of frankincense, the one I’d saved for medicinal purposes or an emergency, was tied to my chest, but so small it wouldn’t buy much.

  With Gad’s attention on my cloak, I slid my hand down to retrieve the dagger strapped under my skirt. My fist curled gratefully around the hilt.

  The morning sun hit the horizon, and a blazing dawn streaked the sky.

  “Nothing!” Gad muttered. After checking the rope around my tied legs, he jumped up to tear apart the campsite.

  While he searched my rations pack, I began to quietly saw at the rope around my ankles. I spoke out loud to hide my task. “See? I have no frankincense. You’ve climbed into the hills for nothing.”

  Ignoring me, Gad grabbed the halter of my camel and swung her head around. She bellowed and stomped her feet. Then he proceeded to hunt through her blanket and decorative tassels, even peering into her ears and mouth.

  “Leave her alone!” I shouted.

  “Damn!” he yelled when Shay bit him on the shoulder. Without hesitation he hit her head with his fist. Fury boiled in the pit of my belly at his treatment of my well-bred camel, but I tried to focus on freeing myself.

  Just as the rope began to fall into pieces, Gad raced toward me with a roar. Before I could crawl away, he threw me flat on my back again, the dagger falling to the ground.

  His touch made me sick. Instinctively, I shoved my knee into his soft belly, but he had more leverage and began to rip at the folds of my dress, breathing heavily. “The frankincense is strapped to you!”

  “No!” I screamed, flailing my arms and legs, trying to maneuver my dagger to stop him. There was no other way out of this.

  Suddenly, Gad stoppe
d and swung his head around. “What’s that noise?”

  Low, hideous growls came from the cliffs above.

  My camel screamed in fright, galloping across the campsite to the head of the desert trail.

  A striped gray hyena slinked along the cliff above us. Saliva dripped from its teeth. The animal’s ribs showed; it was obviously starving and sick. The coarse fur on the back of its neck rose in attack mode, teeth grinning as it howled at us.

  Fear soaked my body in rivulets of sweat. “I think he just found his dinner.”

  Gad fumbled for his sword. Before I could take another breath, he slashed at my dress and spotted the frankincense bound to my chest. “You sly girl.” He grinned with pleasure just as the hyena launched itself from the edge of the cliff.

  My breath came in terrified spurts. “No, no!” I moaned. “Get off me! The hyena’s going to attack us both!”

  But Gad was determined to steal the only thing of value I had left—and steal my virtue with it. Panting, he ripped at the cloth binding the frankincense to my chest, his face lighting up with greed and lust. Before I could form a coherent thought I gripped my dagger and thrust it straight into his soft stomach.

  The sensation was sickening. Bright red blood dribbled down his cream-colored shirt into the waistband of his trousers, the hilt of the knife still tight in my fist.

  My chest convulsed in horror at what I’d just done. “I—I never—”

  Gad stared at me, terror in the whites of his eyes. He tried to speak, but only a trickle of red slipped through his lips.

  Scrambling backward on my hands in the dirt, I screamed, “Shay, come!” My camel’s ears pricked up, however she hesitated at the sight of the hyena slinking along the earth in stalk mode. But a moment later, she came hurtling toward me. Sweat trickled into my eyes as I swept up my blanket and satchel. I lurched to my feet, and then clawed my way up onto Shay’s back, wrapping the halter around my wrist to keep from falling back down in the process.

  When we raced out of the small clearing, I stole a glance behind me. Clutching at the wound in his belly, Gad fell to his back, groping for his sword. The hyena paused and sniffed at the scent of fresh blood pouring from the hole in his stomach.

  “Oh, dear God in heaven,” I moaned. I’d wielded my knife out of pure desperation. But even if Gad managed to fend off the wild hyena, I knew he didn’t have long to live.

  Burying my face in my camel’s neck, I shuddered with sobs. Not a moment later, Gad let out a chilling, unnerving scream. I could hear the hyena’s fierce teeth crunch down on bone, imagine the slobbering mouth and powerful body pinning the Nephish tribesman so he couldn’t fight back.

  “Go, go!” I urged the camel, closing my ears to the man’s agony. I couldn’t have fought both Gad and the hyena and stayed alive, but I was flooded with guilt.

  After weeks of fear and loneliness in these hills while I crafted my plans to search for Kadesh, I’d just survived my first deadly encounter.

  Tears of terror were cold on my face, wind smearing the salt across my cheeks. My camel tore headlong down the rocky hillside. I swore the ride jolted the bones from my skin. Every ounce of strength washed away, leaving me limp as a worn rag.

  When we slowed at the bottom of the hill, the words of Hannah, the desert woman I’d met many days ago, echoed through my mind. I latched on to them as though I was a child again, clutching my mother’s nightgown when I had a bad dream. Hannah and her husband, Gedaliah, with their young children had traveled through the Edomite lands three moons ago.

  They had told me the story of a man who wouldn’t show his face, but who healed their son’s arm with frankincense. Frankincense. Such an unusual possession. Not many people in these poor deserts owned the expensive nuggets.

  The woman’s voice came to me again: . . . and he owned the most beautifully decorated sword.

  Instantly, I had pictured Kadesh’s Damascus sword with its etchings and the imprinted symbol of his frankincense tribe. The man Hannah described had to be Kadesh. Somehow he’d survived Horeb’s attack and ended up back with the Edomites. Not the wild men who’d tried to kidnap Leila and me and stolen our camels on our migration to the summer lands, but someone he trusted. A friend I had forgotten Kadesh mentioning long ago.

  Once we were out of the Mari hills, I urged Shay forward to find the southern trail and start our journey for answers. If there was only a small chance Kadesh was actually alive in the Edomite city, I still had to know the truth—even if the perils of the desert tried to destroy me.

  2

  The sun was past its high point when I reached the foothills on the far side of Mari. I allowed my camel to find her own path down to the valley floor while my face crusted with dried tears.

  I’d killed a man.

  The knowledge horrified me, but Gad would have taken my frankincense, attacked me, and then dragged me to Horeb for his reward. I wanted more than a dagger now. I needed a sword, and I needed to learn how to fight with it. Because Horeb would find me. Just as Gad had.

  After fleeing the death scene of my campsite, I’d scrubbed Gad’s blood from my dagger and strapped the weapon to my leg again, then dug my heels into the camel’s sides. The city of Mari was soon a distant mirage. Before I reached Tadmur to the west, I planned to follow the trail of wells to the land of the Edomites, but the crossroads was still several days away.

  It soon became obvious Shay hated traveling as a solitary camel. She didn’t have the comfort of other camels, just as I didn’t have the consolation of other humans. She roared and shot evil looks at me over her shoulder. At one point she tried to turn around and head back to Mari. The skin of my palms became battered, my arms drooping around the leather halter to keep her moving forward.

  “Silly girl,” I scolded. Banishing the unknown that lay ahead, I wondered if I’d lost my mind. After all, I’d watched Kadesh and Horeb fight in front of me, with a dozen witnesses. The blood-soaked cloak Horeb had tossed at me as proof of Kadesh’s death now wrapped my shoulders in an irony of comfort and despair.

  A scorching sun baked the earth. Sweat oozed in slow trickles down my back. Closing my eyes, I bowed my head, maintaining my balance by stretching my arms over Shay’s sides and lying on my stomach.

  I woke in the late afternoon with an ache in my back. My legs were sore from the chafing, red bruises forming like blisters on my inner thighs.

  I kept on, desperate to put more space between me and Mari before stopping for the night. Orange and purple twilight shot across the western sky. Day turned into dusk and still we rode, silent and exhausted.

  Loneliness I could handle, but knowing I was alone as far as I could see wreaked havoc on my mind. The insidious torture of your own thoughts was the reason people went crazy if they got lost in the desert. I shoved the stories out of my head, but they slithered back like snakes to torture me. Stories of corpses found off the trail. Skeletons half-eaten by wild animals. Travelers going mad when they panicked.

  When darkness swallowed the world around me, a jiggle of fear crept along my spine. A small hollow near the edge of the plateau looked like it would make a secure place for sleeping. There were clouds to the west so I knew that sometime during this week I’d end up drenched. But rain also meant water.

  I tapped Shay’s neck with my stick and dismounted, tying her to a fat shrub. “Now for a fire,” I said out loud, to comfort myself.

  Using my flint and knife I managed to get smoke, then a tiny flame. I blew on it, feeding it dry leaves. I was glad to see clumps of dried camel dung, good for my fire, not far from my little camp—a strong sign I was still on the correct trail. Camel dung meant others had passed along this way.

  The stars were in full bloom by the time I snatched a lump of hot doughy bread from the coals. I broke the bread into steaming pieces to eat.

  I checked the constellations and was relieved to see I was on course. Day one was over. I finished the bread, ate a handful of dates, and drank a cup of water, making sure to
pull the spout’s strings tight so the skin wouldn’t leak.

  I unwrapped my last piece of frankincense and marveled at its comforting spicy smell, remembering Kadesh’s warm strong hands when he’d poured the handful of nuggets into my palms so long ago.

  After I mixed the frankincense shavings with two drops of water to make a paste, I rubbed it into the abrasions on my hands from the leather halter. Next, I sewed up the front of my dress where Gad had torn it, using my finest bone needle and thread.

  A chill winter wind swept down from the north and I curled around Shay’s body, holding Kadesh’s cloak to my face to breathe in the last of his faint smell.

  My first dance of womanhood had only been a year ago. The dance that had sprung a well of emotions and strength I’d never known before. Joy for womanhood and marriage. Grief for the death of my mother and baby brother, Isaac. Pain for Horeb’s violence. Longing for Kadesh. And now fear for the most dangerous journey of my life.

  Emotion seared the back of my eyes when I thought of my baby sister, Sahmril, who was now with the Mari nobleman Thomas, and his wife, Zarah. “My sweet sister,” I whispered. “I promised to take care of you. I promised so many things to so many people and failed you and Leila. That’s why I have to make this journey. So I don’t fail Kadesh, too.”

  An eerie wind moaned across the hills and dunes. Reaching out from my bed, I added a stick to the fire. My hair whipped about my face like a loose veil. Under the shelter of my blanket, I slipped off the heirloom ankle bracelet Kadesh had given me, studying the symbols of the gnarled tree and halo of sun etched into the silver under the moonlight.

  The tree and sun was a symbol of his tribe, and a promise of his love. Even though hunger squeezed my belly I’d rather starve than give up the precious gift.

  As I tightened my fingers around the finely crafted chain, a swelling of devotion surged through me. My destiny lay in front of me on an unknown road. There was no going back, no matter what secrets Kadesh might be hiding in the caves of the Edomites.

  I awoke before dawn and ate a piece of leftover bread, buried the fire under the sand, and was on the road before the sun hit the distant horizon. In the summer months we rarely traveled during the heat of the afternoon, but in the winter months it was possible. During daylight I could see the trail and the sun’s course more clearly.