Behind Closed Doors Read online

  “Look, Regina. I’m tired, and I don’t feel like going through this shit all over again. I just told you not more than two seconds ago that I lost track of time. What else do you want me to say?”

  “How could you lose track of time for three whole hours?” she had asked him. “Something’s not right with this, and I want to know what’s really going on here.”

  “You’re just paranoid. You’ve been paranoid and unsure of yourself ever since the day I met you, and I’m sick of you taking it out on me. There’s nothing going on, and you know it.”

  “No, I don’t know anything. But what I do know is that you’re starting to go out without me on a regular basis, and whenever a man starts doing that, something is usually going on.”

  “Look, damn it. I know where this is headed, and I’m telling you, I don’t want to hear it. I’m sick of all this nagging. Why don’t you turn over and go to sleep,” Larry had said, raising his voice.

  “I don’t want to go to sleep, and I don’t appreciate you talking to me like that and telling me what I should or shouldn’t do. I’ll go to sleep when I damn well please.”

  “Well, talk to yourself then, because I’m not saying another word. Not tonight or any night. I’m not some child that needs to check in or explain what I’m doing every time I leave the house.”

  Larry had turned his back to her and was snoring no sooner than he’d spoken the last word of his sentence. Regina could still picture herself lying there with tears rolling down the sides of her face and onto the pillow. This man had gone out, enjoyed the company of God knows who, and, unlike her, was getting a good night’s sleep. He didn’t seem to care about her feelings at all anymore. There was something very wrong with him. Something wrong with them. She couldn’t help but fear what that mysterious something was.

  CHAPTER 4

  INSTEAD OF MISSING ONLY a few sessions, Karen’s body felt like she hadn’t worked out in months. She was dog tired and convinced that every muscle in her body would be sore by evening. Lying across her good comforter was forbidden, but today she didn’t care. She’d always fussed at John about coming home from work and plopping down on their perfectly made-up bed, but right now, she understood precisely why he did. It felt good. She couldn’t dare let him see her enjoying it, though, because he would somehow mistakenly assume that the comforter was open game and that the rules had changed. That he could spread out on it whenever he was ready.

  Karen heard John coming up the staircase. She sprang up off the bed, carefully smoothed the comforter with both hands, and moved toward the closet, pretending to gather together dirty clothes that needed dry cleaning. Although not much pretending was necessary, since she had seven suits, five silk blouses, and three dresses that terribly needed to be dropped off at Big Bear Laundry.

  John walked up behind her, wrapped both of his arms around her, and kissed her passionately on her neck. Chills ran through her entire body, and all she was capable of was closing her eyes and enjoying it. He knew what that did to her, and she wished he would stop it. How could she continue being angry with him when he was making her feel so good? She wanted to fight him. But not really. She was helpless and loved it.

  “I love you more than anything in this world,” John said. “I would never do anything to lose you, and I’m so sorry for what I’ve been doing. I know I’ve been screwing up our money, but I promise I won’t ever do that again.”

  Why was he bringing this up now? She had just decided they would argue after they made love. He was breaking the mood and sounding no different than he had last week when he’d given her this same tired story. She really wanted to believe him, but she had to make him see that she wasn’t going to continue putting up with this kind of behavior. Had to let him know that she meant business.

  She lifted both of his hands from her body and spun around to face him. He had that innocent, little-boy expression, and she almost felt sorry for him. But this was not the time for sympathy.

  “John, you’ve been promising me every week that you’ll come straight home from work on Friday and not go to the track, but so far, you haven’t kept your word one time. We can’t go on like this. I’ve done all the withdrawing, transferring, rearranging, and tolerating I can stand, and like I told you last night, I can do bad by myself. You have a commitment to me and this marriage, and you’re not holding up your end of the deal. We have a lot of love between us, and it doesn’t make sense to throw it all away simply because you refuse to own up to the problem you know you have. Why won’t you just admit that you need help?”

  “I told you I’ve got this under control. I’m not some crazy person who needs to converse with a group of troubled individuals who don’t know whether they’re going or coming.”

  “People who go to Gamblers Anonymous aren’t crazy. If anything, they’re intelligent. Because unlike a lot of people, they’ve put aside their petty pride and gotten their acts together.”

  “I’ll tell you what, if I don’t bring my paycheck home this Friday, then I’ll go to Gamblers Anonymous. No ifs, ands, or buts about it.”

  “If you don’t bring your paycheck home this Friday, you won’t have to worry about it at all, because you won’t be living here. And I mean that.”

  John laughed, but Karen didn’t see anything amusing.

  “I’m telling you, baby, I’m not going to gamble anymore. I mean, I might spend a couple dollars here and there with the lottery, but that’s about it. I promise.”

  He was making way too many promises for one conversation, and Karen was skeptical. She hoped he was going to do what he said, though, because if he didn’t, there was going to be serious trouble in paradise one week from now.

  “We’ll see what happens, but I still say you should go to one of those meetings this week. Better yet, sometime today. I’ll even go with you, if that’s what it’ll take to get you there.”

  “Everything will be fine. Don’t worry about it.”

  “I can’t help but worry. If I didn’t, what would happen to the note on that BMW and all the rest of our bills that are due this week? I’ll tell you what—they wouldn’t get paid. But by me worrying, fussing and making damn sure that we have a decent savings account, it’s not a problem.”

  “You’re right, baby, and you know I appreciate the way you handle our finances. You know I’ve always been proud to have a wife with such a good head for money, and I love you for it.”

  It was true. John did love the way she handled their finances, and he was the first one to admit that he had horrible spending habits. But two months ago, Karen’s handling of the finances had caused all hell to break loose. It was the day Chrysler had issued those enormous profit-sharing checks to its employees, and “Mommie D” had been sure she was going to get a piece of it. How wrong she’d been, though. Karen still couldn’t believe what that woman had said about her. “John, it’s a shame you don’t have control over your own money. You’ve got that thing sittin’ up over there collecting everythang.” What a joke.

  John moved toward Karen again. He placed both his muscular arms around her, squeezed tight, and kissed her like it was his last opportunity.

  This time, she kissed him back. It hurt like hell when they argued, but making up always seemed to lessen the pain.

  But last night had reminded her of how it had been with her first husband, who was nothing more than an irresponsible little boy, resting inside a grown man’s body. He clearly wanted nothing to do with the idea of growing up. That man had been the husband from hell, and she’d never met anyone like him. He’d screwed around with any and every woman that would have him and told more lies in one day than Pinocchio could have conjured up in an entire year. And could look you straight in the face when he did it, too. She’d promised herself that if she ever came across another man that so much as resembled her ex-husband, she’d break and run from him like her life depended on it, making sure not to ever look back.

  They slowly made their way to the bed and stretc
hed across it with no time for turning back the comforter. John slid off Karen’s workout pants, pulled her sleeveless leotard down her body, and removed her underwire bra and silk panties. He still had on a pair of silk briefs, but within seconds, his body was completely exposed.

  He looked exceptionally fine, almost delicious, and Karen couldn’t help but stare at him. He lunged on top of her, kissed her forehead, and gradually made his way down to all ten of her perfectly manicured toes. She didn’t move. He kissed his way back toward her calves and then to her knees, but when he arrived at the spot located just below her abdomen, the rest was history.

  Karen smiled softly and thought, “This man has it going on, and I’m not about to lose him. Not to gambling. Or anything else.”

  AS SOON AS Regina noticed that Larry wasn’t home, she got nervous. She’d only been at the health club for two hours, and here he was already gone. Hadn’t left a note on the refrigerator or a personal memo on the answering machine. The man was taking these disappearing stints to the extreme, and something was going to have to be done about it.

  Prior to the last few weeks, he would have never left the house without making sure she knew where he was. Where could he be at ten-thirty in the morning, anyway? This was getting to be too much for her to stomach. He wasn’t giving her one ounce of respect. Maybe she shouldn’t have given him the third degree last night, but she was his wife and had a right to know where he’d been. Everything was all wrong, and this situation was getting worse instead of better.

  She started down the basement stairs, but heard the phone ringing. Maybe it was Larry. She rushed back up the stairs, skipping most of them, and answered it. “Hello?”

  “So, you’re back.”

  He was sounding awfully chipper, and she wished she could smack the mess out of him. “As a matter of fact, I came straight home thinking you’d be here.”

  “Look. Before you get upset, let me explain. Ted wanted me to ride out to Oakbrook. Fields is having a men’s suit sale, and you know I’ve been planning to get a couple for work.”

  Oh, Lord. She hoped Ted was picking them out for him, otherwise there was no telling what he might bring back with him. She pulled over a kitchen chair and sat down. “If he wanted you to ride with him, why isn’t the Lexus in the garage?”

  “Regina, please. You know I usually drive wherever I go. No matter who it’s with. Why are you tripping?”

  He sounded irritated. Something that was becoming routine. “I’m not tripping. I thought we were going to spend time together today, not you and Ted.”

  “We’re in McDonald’s drive-thru right now and should be at the mall in about thirty minutes. I should be home around two, and we’ll plan something then. Okay?”

  “Whatever, Larry.”

  “I wish you would stop being so paranoid. Nobody loves you more than I do, and you know it.”

  If he loved her so much, why was he all of a sudden treating her this way? But right now, it wasn’t even worth going into. “I’ll see you when you get home.”

  “Bye, baby.”

  She reached the phone up and placed it on the hook, covered her face with both palms, and tried to figure this all out. Nothing was adding up. If it was another woman, he’d be gone a lot more than this. Wouldn’t he? If he wasn’t in love with her any longer, wouldn’t he just ask for a divorce? But then, maybe he wanted to have his cake and eat it too, like most men.

  This was like being on a roller coaster. No matter how she weighed it, there wasn’t reason enough for Larry to be showing out the way he was. She needed desperately to confide in someone about this whole predicament. She wanted to call Karen, but since she might be jumping the gun, she pushed that idea completely out of her mind. There was still a chance Larry would come to his senses and go back to treating her like his wife. If he did, she wouldn’t have to squeal this information to anyone.

  She stood up from the table and started back down to the lower level. She hadn’t done the wash in over two weeks, and with the two of them each using a fresh towel every day, they were almost completely out. Before long, they’d be tapping into their guest supply, and that never made any sense to her.

  She set the wash cycle on the large-capacity Kenmore, pulled the knob to start it, and threw the towels in two and three at a time. Larry’s racquetball clothes and her aerobic outfits were piled high and were going to be the next load. She sorted through Larry’s shirts first, then his shorts. But when she went to pull out the pocket of his burgundy pair, she noticed a small yellow sticky note. When she unfolded it, she saw a phone number and a name written in blue ink. She was so taken aback by what she saw that her knees became weak, a heaviness twirled through her head, and eventually she had no choice but to grab hold of the washer for a few minutes.

  The name was spelled R-O-N-I. There was no doubt. This was a female. Probably short for Veronica. “That’s who he’s been taking his no-good ass out of here to be with. He must think I’m stupid. I’ll bet he’s got his yellow ass at her house right now.” Nobody was listening, but she didn’t give a damn.

  She walked into the rec room, over to the phone sitting on the wet bar, took the receiver off the hook, and dialed the number on the yellow piece of paper. It rang ten times, but there was no answer. She slammed the phone back on the hook. This whore wasn’t even classy enough to have an answering machine or the voice mail feature offered through the local telephone company. She was probably home though, just too busy screwing Larry to answer any phone calls. Regina wanted to hurt both of them. She felt like killing Larry.

  Regina was so upset that she could hear the pounding of her heartbeat, which was racing a thousand miles a minute. This was uncalled for. She had given this man two of the best years of her life. Loving him. Waiting on him hand and foot like her middle name was Kizzy. Cooking his meals. Washing his filthy clothes. Having sex with him only a few times a week when she really wanted it every day. Her world more or less revolved around his, and this was the thanks she got? And all those nights she’d waited for him to get home from Trans-State Insurance when he’d claimed he was working overtime. His ass was working overtime all right. Literally. But Larry Moore wasn’t getting away with this shit, though. Not as long as there was still air for her to breathe.

  AFTER USELESSLY STEWING over the situation, Regina decided to go throw the towels in the dryer. She’d completely forgotten about them. Until now, she didn’t think it was humanly possible to be pissed off, hurt, and scared all at the same time, but that’s exactly what she was feeling now. She couldn’t wait for Larry to bring his deceitful ass home so she could get to the bottom of this once and for all.

  When she climbed back up the stairs, the phone rang. She wasn’t in the mood for any phone calls, but she figured it might be Larry. If it was, she wasn’t waiting until he got home. She was going off on him right now. “Hello?”

  “Hey, Gina,” her mother said.

  “Hi, Ma. How are you?”

  “I’m doing fine. How’s Larry?”

  She hated even answering that. If she told her mother what her bastard-for-a-son-in-law was really doing, she’d be on the phone for the next couple of hours, and her mother would be worried sick. She worried about everything. This wasn’t the time to upset her, especially since she was sounding so cheerful. “He’s fine.”

  “When are you all coming to see us? It has been a while, you know.”

  “I know, Ma. We’ll probably drive over there next Sunday. I’ll talk to Larry and make sure we don’t have any other plans.” She wanted to say, make sure he didn’t have any plans with his little whore.

  “Good. Just let me know by next Friday, so I’ll know how much to cook for dinner. I need plenty of time to plan out my menu and make groceries.”

  “You don’t have to do that, Ma. We can take you out or something. You guys have all those new restaurants on East State Street, and I’ll bet you two haven’t been to more than one or two of them.”

  “Now Gina, you kno
w I like to fix my Sunday dinners. And your father would have a fit if he and Larry couldn’t sit around watching those Bulls bounce that silly ball around on television. I think that’s the main reason he bought that forty-inch screen.”

  Regina laughed, because her mother was right. Her father wasn’t the excitable type, but he always seemed thrilled when he knew Larry was coming for a visit. Not just to watch a game, but for any reason. As far as he was concerned, Larry was the son he and her mother were never able to have. After Regina was born, they had made one attempt after another trying to conceive a baby, but after the third miscarriage, they’d come to the realization that maybe it wasn’t in God’s plan for them to have more than one child. Regina figured that was why they’d always showered her with everything they could, from love to the most expensive clothing, to the brand-new white Escort they’d gotten her the very same day she’d turned sixteen.

  Regina glanced outside the kitchen window and saw Larry pulling into the driveway. “Larry just got home, Ma, so I’ll call you in a few hours, okay?”

  “Girl, you better stay off that phone so much making all those long-distance phone calls. I’ll just talk to you next Friday.”

  She didn’t know why her mother was saying that. She knew Regina always called them at least four to five times a week, regardless of how much it cost. “I love you, Ma, and tell Daddy I said hi.”

  “I will. I love you too, baby. Bye.”

  Larry came in, slithered over to Regina like the snake that he was, put his forefinger under her chin, and kissed her. Regina shoved him away from her so hard that he stumbled against the kitchen table.

  “What’s the matter with you?” Larry asked, frowning, trying to steady his balance.