Girl Crush (Redwoods Book 1) Read online

  Damn him, what does he mean by that and what if I didn’t want to go to the bar tonight.

  When Bryce left this afternoon I decided to set my alarm clock for six and take a nap. My mind feels bombarded with questions. I don’t understand why I feel like I’ve been here before, why the forest seems to call me, and why I’m so drawn to a man that is obliviously taken and uninterested in me.

  No matter how many times I try to shake it off I have a feeling that everyone around me knows more than they are telling me. I can’t figure out why my mom didn’t want to tell me where she was in the photo. There has to be an explanation for that and why she didn’t want me to come here. But what?

  While I’m fixing myself a bite to eat before getting ready to go out with Bryce I decide it’s time for me to do a little research. There has to be a library around here somewhere and if my parents did live here at one point in time then I should be able to find something. Until then I’m left with nothing with unanswered questions.

  Once I’m done eating I head to my closest to grab something to wear. The rain finally stopped sometime while I was napping. Looking through my choices I decide on a pair of jeans, a pink tank top, brown belt, and my cowboy boots. I’ve been waiting to wear those and since we’re going to a country bar this is the perfect opportunity. Walking over to my dresser I pick a pair of panties and bra to match.

  Jumping in the shower I let the hot water run over my body, hoping it will help cleanse my thoughts as well as my body. When the water turns cold I turn it off and step out to dry off. I lather my body with lotion before putting on my clothes and then I begin to put on my makeup and do my hair, deciding to leave it down. I look at the clock on my bedside table and see that I still have about fifteen minutes to spare.

  Gathering my keys, phone, and purse I sit and wait for Bryce so we can go. I’m hoping this night either makes the questions disappear for a little while or I get some answers.

  As always, Bryce is right on time, I open the door before he has a chance to knock.

  “How’d you know I was here?” He asks with a raised brow.

  I smirk at him as I step out the door and lock it behind me, “Because, B you’re never late.”

  “Ahh, you’ve figured me out. I kind of have an issue with being on time. I hate being late for anything.” He laughs as we make our way to his truck.

  “Nothing wrong with that.” I tell him as he climbs in the driver’s seat, starting the truck.

  “So what have you been up to since I left?” He asks as he begins backing out and taking off down the road.

  I tell him what I did from the time he left which wasn’t much, luckily it doesn’t take long to get to the bar. As we pull into the parking lot of Redwoods Roadhouse I see that there are a lot more people here tonight than the last time we were here.

  “Damn, it’s packed tonight.” I say as soon as we’re both out of the truck and walking toward the building.

  “Yeah, it usually is on Saturday nights.” He says as opens the door for us to enter. “Why don’t you go find us a table while I grab some drinks?” He leans down and says in my ear so I can hear him over the music and noise of the bar.

  Nodding I take off in search of a table. I’ve not been sitting down thirty seconds before she approaches the table. She looks perfect as usual. Normally she’s dressed in professional clothes when I see her. Not tonight. Tonight she’s wearing a white tank top, dark skinny jeans, and red stilettos so tall I’d break my neck if I tried to wear them.

  “Hey, Kerrigan how are you?” She asks as she takes a seat across from me, placing her drink in front of her.

  “Hi, Lucia I’m good, how are you?” I return.

  It’s so odd that I can be so jealous and envious of this woman in front of me, but for the life of me I can’t dislike her. She’s always been nice to me and I feel like a horrible person because all I want is her man.

  We make small talk about work, she asks me how I like working for Damon, how I like Redding, and all the people I’ve met. I answer accordingly, I enjoy working for him, I love Redding and everyone that I’ve met has welcomed me with open arms. As long as the conversation keeps going this way I can handle talking to her just fine.

  “Hey Bryce, it’s good to see you again.” Lucia smiles as Bryce takes a seat next to me.

  “Lucia, it’s always a pleasure.” He smiles back at her as he slides my drinks in front of me.

  “What this?” I say as I pick up the small glass that has a lime wedge on the side.

  “That,” He says pointing at the drink in my hand, “Is the best Tequila you’ll ever put in your mouth. It’s Don Julio 1942.”

  Lucia makes a whistling sound I look over at her, “He’s right, you don’t even need salt and lime for it, and it’s so smooth.”

  Taking their word for it I turn it up and take a small sip. It coats my tongue with a smoothness I wasn’t expecting. I figured it would be harsh and bitter. I was wrong. Taking another drink I empty the contents into my mouth and my taste buds explode at the flavors as it slides down my throat.

  “Oh, I like it!” I say as I sit the glass back on the table. “I want another.”

  Bryce and Lucia both laugh, “Not yet, Buttercup, drinks like that sneak up on you and your ass will be on the floor before you know it.”

  “You suck.” I pout as I pick up my Dirty Shirley and begin to drink.

  I half listen to the conversation between Bryce and Lucia. I’m too busy scoping out the people in the room to see who alls here. Well mostly I’m looking to see if Damon is here. I assume since Lucia is here he’s not far behind.

  “He’s not here.” Lucia says.

  I turn toward her and see her smiling at me, “Who?” I ask trying my best to sound clueless.

  “Damon.” She answers, still smiling.

  “I wasn’t looking for him.” I lie.

  I turn to look at Bryce who is smirking at me letting me know I’ve been caught. Seriously what the hell is going on? If Damon was my man and I thought some other girl was looking for him I’d be pissed. Not Lucia she seems just fine by it and Bryce finds it humorous. I give him my best scowl as I kick his leg under the table causing his smirk to drop.

  “What the hell was that for?” He asks as he reaches under the table to rub his leg.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I give him my best innocent sweet smile.

  Lucia’s laughter reaches my ears and I be damned if her laugh isn’t beautiful. “What’s wrong Bryce? Got an itch?”

  Bryce flips us both off before he begins digging in his pocket. He pulls out his cell phone, takes on look at the screen, and scoots his chair back. “I’ve got to take this.” He says before he stands and walks away from the table.

  “Wonder what that’s all about?” I ask Lucia.

  “No telling it could be a number of things I guess. How about another shot?” She asks before rising from the table.

  I watch as she goes to the bar and begins talking to the bartender. In no time at all she’s on her way back to the table with a shot glass in each hand. As she sits back down she slides on across the table to me. She holds her glass across the table. Picking up mine we clink our glasses together before we both put them to our mouth. This time I don’t sip first. I empty the contents of the small glass into my mouth and let it slide down my throat.

  “Whew!” Lucia says as she slams her glass back onto the table, “that’s some good shit right there.”

  We both begin laughing. I can feel my body getting warmer by the minute and I know that the alcohol is starting to have an effect on me. “I think I better not drink anymore of those tonight.”

  “You’re probably right, if you’re not used to drinking it will sneak up on you and kick your ass. Before you know it you’ll either be kissing the toilet or the floor.” She grins.

  “Ewww, I don’t want to kiss either of those. I’ll stick to this…” I say holding up my Dirty Shirley, “for now at least.”
/>   “Good idea.” Bryce says as he stands at the end of the table.

  I didn’t even notice he had come back. I grin up at him, but he’s not looking at me. Bryce and Lucia seem to be having a silent conversation. She gives him a slight nod before he turns to me.

  “Hey, Buttercup, I’ve got to go take care of something at my shop real quick. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

  “I can go with you.” I offer.

  “Oh no, you aren’t leaving me here all alone to drink by myself are you?” Lucia intercedes.

  “You stay here and have a good time. I’ll be back to pick you up soon.” He says looking between the two of us, “Well by the looks of it I’ll be back to get you both.” He laughs.

  “Go on now and take care of business, we’ll be fine, won’t we Kerrigan?” Lucia says.

  “Works for me.” I plaster on my best smile. I’m not quite sure how I feel about this situation. I mean she’s really easy to get along with and all, but there is the whole I want to be her and want her man thing going on in my head.

  “Be back soon.” Bryce says and then takes off out the door.

  “Ever have a girls night Kerrigan?”

  “Nope.”

  “Well tonight we are, come on let’s dance.” She says as she gets out of her seat and comes around to my side and pulls me up from my chair leaving me no room to say no.

  Lucia and I dance nonstop through three different fast songs before the d.j. finally plays a slow one, giving us a rest and time to down another drink. Then we’re at it again. We dance a couple songs then drink. I can feel the alcohol coursing through my system. I have to sit down before I fall down I really don’t wanna kiss the floor yet.

  “Lucia, I’m going to sit down.” I say into her ear.

  She takes my hand and leads me back over to the table. This is so strange. I know that girls do stuff like this, but never having that before it all seems odd to me.

  “You should probably drink some water.” She says as she starts to stand.

  “I’ll get some in a few.” I tell her. “Ya know what, it’s nice hanging out with you.”

  “Yeah, I’m having a lot of fun with you too.” She smiles.

  “I just wish I didn’t have such a crush on you. It’s funny ya know, from the first time I saw you I’ve been envious of you.” Yep the alcohol is talking. My tongue is flapping like a flag on a windy day and I can’t seem to stop it. “As soon as I saw Damon I wanted him, but I knew he’d never look twice at me and then I saw you and hell I knew for sure I’d never stood a chance.” She says my name and I wave her off, “When I saw y’all in the hall at work and then when I heard y’all in the hotel I’ve wanted to be you. Hell, I’ve even thought about kissing you just so I could taste him on your lips.”

  “Kerrigan,” Lucia says as she covers my mouth with her hand. “You don’t need to be me, sweets, you’re a beautiful woman all on your own.” She says before removing her hand. “What’s between me and Damon isn’t what you think, he’s not mine. He never has been and never will be.”

  “But, I’ve seen you together.”

  “It’s complicated that’s all I can tell you, but it doesn’t matter anymore because I’m leaving Redding, my job has relocated me to San Francisco, which is for the best.”

  I’m speechless I don’t know what to say. I just spewed verbal vomit all over the place and she’s sweet about it and she’s leaving. “I’ve gotta pee.” I say needing time to process what she’s told me.

  Getting up from the table before she has time to say anything I walk as fast as my legs allow me in the direction of the bathroom. When I reach it I push open the door and go straight into a stall to take care of business. When I’m done I wash my hands and look at myself in the mirror. My eyes are bloodshot and my face is kind of pale. I can’t believe I said all that to her.

  Shaking my head at myself I know there is nothing I can do but blame it on the alcohol and move on. Maybe she won’t remember it tomorrow. As I step out the door and back into the hallway I notice something I missed the first time I was here.

  That’s because Damon was standing here waiting on you.

  I pull my phone out of my back pocket and switch on the flashlight app so I can get a better look as I step up closer to the wall. There are names carved all over it. I run my hand over the many names trying to read them all and see if there are any here I know.

  I’m completely absorbed in what I’m looking at when Lucia’s voice startles me.

  “It’s pretty cool isn’t it?” She asks from behind me.

  “Yes, what is it?” I ask never taking my eyes off the wall.

  “It’s called the mating wall, every time someone mat…um marries they put their name on this wall.” She says.

  I continue going over the names until I see one I recognize. I’m frozen in place. What are their names doing here? Is this what everyone knows that they are hiding from me?

  “Do you know these people?” I ask pointing out the names before me, hoping that she’s drunk enough to answer me.

  “Anna Marie & Vince?” She asks. I nod and she continues, “I don’t know them personally, no, but I know they used to live here a long time ago and they left and never came back.”

  “Is that all you know?” I push further.

  “Pretty much, I know they had a daughter and when they left it broke Damon and Bryce’s heart and neither of them have been the same since.”

  Bile rises in my throat. Lucia either notices the effect her words just had on me or that she said more than she should have because I hear her mutter ‘oh shit.’

  I wanted answers tonight and little does Lucia know she just gave me a huge piece of the puzzle I didn’t quite know was missing. Heat washes over my body, the room begins to spin, I have to get out of here, now. I look around for the closest exit spotting a door at the end of the hallway I take off for it.

  I hear Lucia yelling my name from behind me but there is no way I’m stopping. Pushing through the door I head straight for the woods. I have no idea where I’m going just that my feet are leading me somewhere. Once I’m deep in the woods I can no longer hear Lucia calling my name.

  When I reach a clearing next to a huge tree I stop. Looking up I can see the sky through the tree limbs. This is the place from my dreams. Memories begin to invade my mind. DJ is Damon, B is Bryce, the little girl from my dreams is me. I lived here this was my special spot. That’s why I felt like I was being pulled here.

  Dropping to my knees I close my eyes. I can see my younger self right here in the spot, lying on the ground with DJ when I hear my mother’s voice calling our names to come in for dinner. That’s the last thought I have before my world goes black.

  This is not how I wanted to spend my Saturday night. I had planned on being at the bar by the time Bryce brought Kerrigan, but no where am I? At home pacing the floors after my conversation with Aunt Stella, she caught me right before I walked out the door. Even though she knew better she called Anna Marie Marks and asks her about Kerrigan’s life growing up.

  She wanted to know how they got her through the full moons all the years. We know that Kerrigan has no idea about her heritage and now we know why. Aunt Stella said that Anna Marie wasn’t helpful at all just that they dealt with it the best they could. She wanted Kerrigan to have a chance at a normal life.

  Bullshit, she is still the bitter bitch she’s always been and better be glad she’s so far away from me. I can’t believe she drugged Kerrigan all these years.

  Grabbing my cell phone I call the one other person who cares as much as I do for Kerrigan. Bryce. His phone goes to voicemail but within the same minute my phone is ringing in my hand with him on the other end.

  I tell him we need to talk to meet me at his shop. He says he’s already at the bar with Kerrigan, but Lucia is there too. I tell him to make sure she stays with Kerrigan and to hurry up. I don’t have all night I would like to enjoy some of this night as well.

  After hanging up wi
th Bryce I grab my keys off the counter and I’m out the door and on my way to his shop in no time. Luckily it doesn’t take long for either of us to get there.

  As soon as he pulls up he jumps out of his truck and into mine. “What’s going on D?”

  “Aunt Stella called Anna Marie.” I say through gritted teeth.

  “What?!” Bryce practically shouts. “I thought everyone was forbidden to talk to her.”

  “They are but Aunt Stella said her and Ruby thought it best to find out how Anna Marie and Vince got Kerrigan through all these years without her ever knowing her true heritage.”

  “And?”

  “And nothing, she was the same ole bitch she was the last time she was contacted. But apparently from what I got from it all was basically she was giving her a drug to keep her from changing.”

  “You think it’s the same stuff we had to give her last full moon? You know that stuff is completely safe it’s the same as they give the pregnant women in the pack.” He replies.

  “I don’t know. We need to find out and that’s where you come in.”

  “How’s that?”

  “She trusts you, you need to find out if she got special treats only once a month, fuck I don’t know, B we need information. What if Anna Marie fucked her up with the shit she was giving her?” I say as I slam my hands on the steering wheel.

  “Calm down, D, you know Vince wouldn’t let that happen. He knows the rules.” Bryce says calmly.

  “I hope so, B. I hope so.”

  “I’ll see what I can find out. I’m sure by the time that I get back to the bar she’ll be about three sheets to the wind.” He laughs.

  “Best time to get her to talk.” I sigh.

  I can’t help the worry that’s consuming me I’ve waited years for her to come back and now she’s here and she has no idea who I am. It breaks my heart everyday as much as watching them take her away so many years ago did.

  “She’s crazy about you, did you know that, she’s so envious of Lucia that she says she has a girl crush on her.” Bryce says matter of factly before letting out a small chuckle at the end.