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Dekon: Fated Mate Alien Romance (Mated to the Alien Book 10) Page 12
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Deke didn't feel chained down, and that was a good thing. He didn't want to lash out at his brothers.
A moment later, Naomi brought a tray laden with snacks into the room. There was no way she'd put it together in the short amount of time that he'd been back.
"Did you have a vision?" Shayn asked as she set the snacks down on the table. "You could have told me."
She gave him a sad smile. "I didn't want to get your hopes up again."
Shayn nodded.
Deke felt bad. Even worse than normal. How long had his brothers been waiting for him to walk through that door? He knew the answer. They'd been waiting since the moment he disappeared. Since the moment he took off.
"Tell us everything," Shayn demanded.
Everything? That was a lot to tell. And Deke didn't even know where to start. He leaned in and picked up a snack at random, jamming it into his mouth as if that would be defense enough to keep him from needing to spill his guts.
But everyone in the room was patient. They had waited this long. They weren't letting him get away without giving them something.
And taking the time to snack gave him a moment to think, to put his thoughts in order and decide what he was ready to tell his siblings and what he needed to keep to himself for now.
Once he started talking, the words didn't stop. Shayn and Brax never left his side, even though Vita and Naomi came in and out of the room several times.
More than an hour had gone by when he realized that Manda wasn't in the room. He wanted to get up and go find her, but he doubted that Shayn or Brax would let him move for at least another hour.
He would find her soon. Maybe she'd just gone back to say hi to her parents. And so he put the worry out of his mind. And he kept talking to his brothers, and soon, it was like no time had passed at all.
***
Manda lasted about five minutes watching Deke explain the last four years to his brothers.
She wanted to know everything, but she couldn't sit in that room with all of those people.
She felt ignored.
And then she felt like an absolute child for even thinking that. She placed Deke's bag in his room, a room that hadn't changed in four years, and then snuck out the back door with her own bag slung over her shoulders.
She didn't want to go home, but she didn't want to stay in that room and have the rest of them sneaking periodic looks at her, wondering what she was doing there, thinking she didn't belong.
She was supposed to be Deke's mate. Shouldn't that make everything easier?
The grand plan had been so simple when she went away a little less than a month ago. She would find Deke, she would become his mate in truth, and she would bring him home. She'd done all of those things. And if she ignored why they had to leave the Temple of Peace, it had all gone pretty smoothly.
So why didn't she feel any different?
She could feel the denya bond holding them together. But that was the only change. Her body felt just the same, her emotions weren't magically changed. She was still the exact same woman who she'd been when she left Earth to bring Dekon home.
She had to face the facts. She'd been putting a lot of hope on who she would become when Deke came home. She'd let herself believe that she would transform into some kind of new and perfect person if only she had him.
But she was still herself. Still the same broken girl who had been rescued all those years ago. Still the same girl who Deke had run away from.
He'd barely looked at her when he sat beside his brothers. And it was absolutely childish to feel abandoned by that. They were his brothers. They'd known him all his life. He hadn't seen them in years. He deserved this moment.
But he hadn't told them anything about her.
Of course, they all knew about her. But didn't she deserve something?
The NaZade property was big, and she kept walking until she got to a small gazebo with four chairs set up inside of it. She sat down and placed her bag on the floor beside her. It was peaceful, with tall trees and the sound of birds squawking and flying all around her. Space didn't have this kind of stuff. And she didn't know what other planets really looked like. She'd been to a few, but she tried not to think about her time in captivity all that often. And she definitely didn't try and think about the less terrible aspects of it.
All aspects had been terrible, even if the scenery had sometimes been kind of pretty.
She needed to figure herself out. She couldn't just be some extension of Dekon. She couldn't let herself believe that his presence would magically make her into a different person. If she got caught up in that, she would lose herself. And she kind of liked herself, at least most of the time. These days.
Would she still be the same person the longer she and Deke were together?
How could she be afraid of the fact that she hadn't changed and of the fact that she could?
It was a lot to think about. And it had been an eventful few weeks. Maybe she just needed a rest. Maybe she just needed some time to herself to figure out what would go on between her and Dekon. Things were still new. Way, way new. She wasn't sure where Dekon wanted things to go between them. Sure, he'd sealed the bond, but not every mated pair stayed together forever. Maybe he'd just been happy that she was willing to save his life that way.
She picked her bag up and headed out of the gazebo. She couldn't stay here any longer. Her parents would probably be happy to see her, even if there was likely to be a fight the second she walked through the door. But that was better than dealing with what was going on in her own mind.
She headed off towards the path that would take her home when she heard Deke call out, "Manda, wait!"
Chapter Nineteen
"Manda, wait!"
She stopped walking. The tone in Deke's voice was desperate and it made Manda's heart crack. She was screwing everything up. She knew that. She could feel it, but it was like some outside force was controlling her, making her do and say everything wrong.
"Shouldn't you be inside with your family?" she asked, and there was a biting edge to her tone.
"I wanted to see you," he said. He looked confused and a little hurt.
Still, Manda couldn't make herself feel any better. "Okay. You can see me."
Manda could see that Deke was struggling with the way she was acting. She hated herself for acting like this, but she couldn't stop it. He seemed so desperate to talk to her, and she felt ready to cry.
Why? She wasn't weak. But it was like all of her emotions were piling up on top of her and demanding a response.
"You could have left your stuff in my room."
His room. Why was that the thing that irked her the most? It was his room. She'd thought of it as his room. They'd been mates for less than a week, mates in truth, at least. Of course it was just his room. "I thought I would go say hi to my parents." It wasn't even a lie.
"Oh. I could go with you," he offered.
And what would her parents say to that? They didn't know about Deke. They couldn't. If they had known back when she was sixteen, they would have locked her up in a room and put a guard on the door to keep her safe, even though she was certain Deke would have never done anything untoward. And as the years had gone on, it had seemed better to just keep quiet about who Deke could be to her.
"I think it's best if I go alone. Besides, I'm sure your family wants to talk to you."
"They've been talking to me for hours."
Had it really been hours? Had she really been sitting outside alone for that long? Had he really let her?
"It's okay," she insisted. It didn't sound okay. Even she could hear the slight shake in her voice.
"Manda, please..." Deke didn't seem to know what he was asking.
That was good. She didn't know what he was asking either. She didn't know what she wanted him to ask.
"It's one night. We managed to stay apart for four years. What's one night?" She could see that the barb stung, and she was grimly satisfied by that. Deke had hurt her a lot by leaving
. "I'll see you later," she said and turned back down the path.
He called after her once, but she didn't turn around this time. He'd said his bit, she'd let him, she'd listened. But now they both needed a minute apart.
But she didn't speed home. She wasn't exactly eager to see her parents again.
She would never admit that to them. It felt heartless to even think it.
But after fifteen minutes or so of walking and feeling an itch between her shoulder blades like she was being watched, probably by Deke, she arrived at the back door of her house.
She looked back into the woods and almost expected to see her mate, but there was no one there. Had he followed her home? Was that what she'd felt?
She focused on the bond and could feel it stretching out towards the NaZade property, but she didn't have any idea of how far away Deke was. It would be just like him to make sure she got home safe.
But this was home. It was safe. She didn't need a chaperone. She wasn't a kid anymore.
She walked in the door and both her parents were standing in the kitchen. Her mom was holding a plate as she put away newly clean dishes and she dropped it when she saw Manda.
Manda flinched. "Hey. I'm home."
Her parents came close and hugged her tight, and for a minute Manda believed everything was going to be alright. Then they let her go and their happy faces shifted to something more disappointed.
"Why didn't you call?" her mother asked.
"I was busy." She wasn't about to explain that she'd nearly died in a space station attack. There was no way that would go over well.
"We were worried," said her father.
"I'm fine," she insisted. And as she made the protest, she felt more and more like a kid. Staying with her parents like this was like being slowly choked. They didn't know when to stop applying pressure.
And maybe she deserved it. After all, she'd been kidnapped before. She'd disappeared out of their life for years. And then she'd gone willingly.
"I need to unpack," she said, backing up and heading towards the stairs.
"Oh, okay," said her mother, as if she was afraid to overstep.
"Manda--"her father started.
"We'll talk over breakfast." Manda fled up the stairs.
Nothing had changed about her room in the weeks that she'd been away. Not that she'd expected it to. It was the perfect room for a teenage girl. But she wasn't a teenager anymore. And she hadn't been a girl for a very long time.
She didn't belong here anymore. The relationship between her and her parents was so stunted by the things that had happened to her that they couldn't accept that she was growing up, that she was an adult now. And she didn't think she could stay here.
It was time to get a place of her own.
Maybe then something would start to heal between her and her parents. Maybe then they would realize that they could trust her, that she wasn't going to disappear on them again.
It was safe to stay with them. Even with all the crushing disappointment that came from sleeping in that tiny bed and feeling like her parents couldn't quite let her grow up, she knew they loved her.
But that didn't mean the situation was working out for them. Maybe a little distance would do them good.
But not yet. Not tonight. She was tired, and it wasn't like she would be able to move into an apartment immediately. But she was ready to start looking. Maybe Amy and Kyla would be willing to give her a raise, to look at making her an official employee rather than an intern. It was time for her to grow up.
***
Deke hated the way he'd left things with Manda. After she walked away he'd almost followed her home. And then he thought about how she would react if she caught him.
Not well. And so he let her go.
He let her stay away for hours.
"You're being a jackass," Brax told him as they each enjoyed a beer after dinner.
Deke was so lost in his thoughts and his worries about his mate, but he wasn't sure what his brother was talking about. "What?"
"That girl crossed half the galaxy to bring you home and now you're just letting her go? Any Detyen, anyone in the galaxy, would be lucky to have a mate like her. Are you really going to reject her?"
Deke growled; the guttural sound surprised him and his claws itched underneath his skin, ready to go out at the challenge to his mate. "She's mine," he said.
Brax took a sip of his beer. "Is she?"
"I'm not giving you the details." It was still too new, too fresh. And nowhere near enough.
"So she's your mate in truth? Your bonded denya? And you let her walk away?" Brax sounded like he couldn't believe it.
And Deke was on the defensive. "I didn't let her do anything. She's her own person. And she's going to her parents' house. What would you have me do?"
"Talk to her?" Vita suggested, sitting beside Brax with a beer of her own.
"I can give her till tomorrow," he said.
"You're a fool," said Brax. "You can't just run away from her again."
"I'm not the one running away."
"Likely story."
Deke slammed his bottle down on the table. He thought he was doing the right thing, but maybe his brother and Vita had a point. "Fine. I'll go talk to her."
It was what he wanted to do more than anything anyway. And from the smiles on Brax and Vita's faces, it was clear they knew that.
Deke ran the whole distance to Manda's house. It was dark outside, but the moon was bright enough to light the way.
The lights were off inside and he didn't want to wake her parents. He had a feeling that wouldn't go over very well.
But there was a tree with sturdy branches right next to Manda's room, and so Deke put his skills to good use and began to climb.
The window was actually open when he got there. He almost turned back; the light was off and he didn't want to wake his mate if she was sleeping peacefully.
But he promised himself he would only stay for a moment if she was. He would just check that she was doing all right and maybe kiss her forehead.
That wasn't creepy, was it?
No. It sounded fine.
He swung himself up the branches and then balanced carefully on a little outcropping of the roof to get close to her window. He winced at the sound his feet made against the shingles, but he was as quiet as possible.
He slid through the open window and landed gracefully.
But when he stood up, he was whacked in the back by something thick and hollow that made him sprawl forward.
"You can't take me, you--Deke?" Manda's tone went from fierce to confused between one breath and the next.
Deke rolled over and held both his hands up, trying to prove he was no threat. At least he knew his mate could take care of herself if something happened. "I'm sorry. I just wanted to see you."
"And you couldn't knock on the door?" Now she was whispering, as if she didn't want to wake her parents.
Deke made a face, and she seemed to realize why he hadn't knocked. She put the tube down--he wasn't quite sure what it was--and offered a hand to help him to his feet.
He didn't need it, but he gladly accepted it.
"You wanted to talk? In the middle of the night? Okay. Talk."
Did he really want to talk? His mate was in her pajamas and they were right next to a bed. His body definitely wanted to do something else.
But she was spitting mad and he had to make the situation between them right. "I just needed to see you. You're my mate. If I made you feel like I didn't appreciate you, like I didn't care about you, I'm sorry."
Some of the tension leaked out of Manda's shoulders and she slumped down to her bed. Then she patted the space next to her, gesturing for him to sit. He did. "I was an asshole," she said. "I want you to talk to your family. Everything went perfectly today. I don't know why I freaked out."
"It's new," he said.
"It's four years old. It shouldn't be."
"Everything just changed between us. But you'r
e my constant. So whatever happens, I want it to be both of us together."
She smiled. "Really?"
"Really."
There was more to say. They had four years to talk about. And their lifetime ahead of them. But Manda seemed to realize exactly where they were and the opportunity they had. Her smile turned carnal. "Then show me."
Chapter Twenty
Deke's eyes blazed blue. This was what Manda needed to see. He had come to her, had shown her just how important she was to him and what they could be together. She didn't need to hide or run away. They were a team.
And right now they were proving it in the most natural of ways.
Deke pulled off his shirt, revealing the rippling muscles of his chest. She couldn't quite make out his scars in the dim light, but she knew they were there. She planned to memorize every inch of him until she could draw a map from memory and fill out every detail even when her eyes were closed.
She didn't waste time with a striptease. Her pajamas weren't anything special and they came off with ease. Those first nights with him she'd been a little nervous, afraid he wouldn't like what he saw. Now she was in love with the way his nostrils flared and his eyes got somehow even bluer when he looked her over.
Yeah, that was good.
Clothes taken care of, he stepped close and swooped her up into his arms. Manda made a noise of shock and then clamped her mouth shut.
"What is it?" he asked, laying kisses along her neck that made her body tremble with desire.
"My parents might hear," she whispered. This was not how she wanted them to find out about her mate. Though the thought had her on the verge of laughter. Oh no, that would be very bad.
"They didn't hear us talking," Deke assured her, but his voice was pitched low too. "Do you want to stop?"
"Hell, no." She was done holding back. The soundproofing in the house was supposed to be decent. And she could keep quiet.
Well, she could try.
Deke set her down on the bed and crawled over her, kissing her like he meant to conquer her. Manda surrendered to it, letting the sensation run over her. This was what it meant to be with her mate. She didn't worry about anything from the outside interrupting them. She gave herself over to him completely.