Every Minute I Love You (a Tomb of Ashen Tears Book 3) Read online

  Every Minute I Love You

  a Tomb of Ashen Tears Book 3

  Kailee Reese Samuels

  Every Minute I Love You (a Tomb of Ashen Tears Book 3)

  Copyright © 2019 by Kailee Reese Samuels

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including, but not limited to, photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the author, except in the case of author credited, brief quotations in reviews.

  This is a work of fiction. The names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the writer’s imagination or have been used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to persons living or dead, actual events, locale, or organizations is entirely and purely coincidental.

  All characters depicted in sexual acts in this work of fiction are 18 years of age or older.

  E-Book Edition: October 1, 2019

  ISBN 978-1-947362-76-5

  Editing by The Red Pen Queen

  W A R N I N G S

  are like cups of tea.

  This warning is here for a reason.

  This book is a work of fiction containing explicit, graphic, and violent material.

  If you’re not 18+, put it the fuck down.

  Please practice safe sex.

  Safe, Sane, and Consensual (SSC)

  and

  Risk-Awareness Consensual Kink (RACK)

  practices in BDSM.

  Communication is key and I do not believe anything should be swept under the rug - sexuality, gender orientation, race, age, or religion. If I help stir the cauldron of conversation and provide an escape for a few hours, I have done my job.

  Play hard and have fun.

  Be good and love one another.

  Enjoy the ride!

  Without further ado, here we go…

  Every Minute I Love You

  is the third book in

  a Tomb of Ashen Tears.

  This will be an intense piece for some.

  Don’t be afraid to take an emotional breather.

  Enjoy it!

  xx

  Kailee Books

  A printable reading list is available:

  Sal’s Reading List

  22

  A&E

  Bad Girl

  Juliet

  Kinky Sex Magic

  Madness

  Poppy

  She/He

  a Tomb of Ashen Tears

  Salt Kissed Love

  Famous Last Words

  Every Minute I Love You

  SONS

  Son of Saint

  Son of Angel

  Son of Cirque

  Son of Master

  Sal Raniero Thrillers

  Unspoken (Prequel to Hey Pretty)

  Hey Pretty

  The Story of Salvatore

  The Initiation

  Tea for Two

  Grunt

  Hopechest

  RIDE

  Fluff

  Bounce

  Raw

  Nocturne

  A Shimmering Dream

  The Red Shoes

  Hop onboard the Kailee Train:

  KaileeReeseSamuels.com

  Every Minute I Love You Playlist

  Listen to the music that inspired Every Minute I Love You on Spotify

  Silence (feat. Sarah McLachlan) – Delerium

  Dance Like You Fuckin’ – Too $hort

  Famous Last Words – My Chemical Romance

  girl from texas – Diveliner

  Flaws – Daughter

  Dirty Paws – Of Monsters And Men

  Hate Me – Ellie Goulding, Juice WRLD

  If There’s A Rocket Tie Me To It – Snow Patrol

  Make a Shadow – Meg Myers

  Rescue Me – Unions

  Moments Passed – Dermot Kennedy

  Leave – Post Malone

  Lost Angels (From Swaecation) – Rae Sremmurd, Swae Lee, Slim Jxmmi

  Americano – Lady Gaga

  Madame Butterfly (Un Vel Di Vedremo) – Malcolm McLaren

  Big Fish – Vince Staples

  I Think I’m OKAY – Machine Gun Kelly, YUNGBLUD, Travis Barker

  Give Her Some Money – Maliibu Miitch

  Collapsed – Natalie Taylor

  Safe & Sound (from The Hunger Games Soundtrack) – Taylor Swift, The Civil Wars

  Coming Home (Part II / Bonus Track) – Skylar Grey

  Fly Tonight (feat. Frankmusik) – RuPaul, Frankmusik

  Take Care (Feat. Rihanna) – Drake, Rihanna

  90 Days – P!nk, Wrabel

  Just Wanna – Iggy Azalea

  Holy Ground – Taylor Swift

  I Hope – Gabby Barrett

  Lullaby (Extended Mix)[Remastered] – The Cure

  Sunspots – Nine Inch Nails

  Break My Bones – John Taylor

  Love It If We Made It – The 1975

  Return to Innocence (Long & Alive Version) – Enigma

  Smell Yo D*ck – Riskay, Aviance, Real, Aviance, Real

  Gun – Mas Ysa

  Sissy That Walk – RuPaul

  Birthday Bitch – Trap Beckham

  Candy – Machine Gun Kelly, Trippie Redd

  Chasing Kites – iamamiwhoami

  Rolie Polie Ravioli – Onlygotdope

  Call Me Mother – RuPaul, KUMMERSPECK

  The Red Shoes – Kate Bush

  Boasty (feat. Idris Elba) – Wiley, Stefflon Don, Sean Paul

  I’m Not Sorry – Meg Myers

  The Bones – Maren Morris

  Mt. Washington – Local Natives

  Center Stage – Indigo Girls

  Butterflies – Little Dragon

  Two Black Cadillacs – Carrie Underwood

  Crack The Shutters – Snow Patrol

  Samurai (Tiësto Radio Edit) – R3hab

  Never Really Over – Katy Perry

  Revelation (From “Boy Erased”) – Troye Sivan, Jónsi

  The End of Love – Florence + the Machine

  You Should Be Dancing – Bee Gees

  Rag Doll – Aerosmith

  Video Games (Remastered) – Lana Del Rey

  Candy Paint – Post Malone

  Feeling Whitney – Post Malone

  Waste Love – Machine Gun Kelly, Madison Love

  I Fall Apart – Post Malone

  hot girl bummer – blackbear

  Lean Like a Cholo – DJ Snake Machine

  Shaking – Melissa Etheridge

  Touch Me Fall – Indigo Girls

  Hurts Like Hell – Fleurie

  Buried Alive – Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Dr. Octagon

  This Train Revised (Live at the Walker Theater) – Indigo Girls

  Dancing On My Own (Acoustic) – Calum Scott

  Truth Hurts – Lizzo

  Can You Hear Me? – Fleurie

  Frenemy – Shaggy

  Keep Your Shoes On – Scissor Sisters

  Soldier – Fleurie

  Maps – Yeah Yeah Yeahs

  Truth Is a Beautiful Thing – London Grammar

  Goodbyes – Post Malone, Young Thug

  Sadeness (Part I / Violent U.S. Remix) – Enigma

  Sex Drive – Machine Gun Kelly

  Final Teardrop – Rupert Pope

  If You Want Love – NF

  Someone You Loved – Lewis Capaldi

  An Evening I Will Not Forget / Furthest Thing – Dermot Kennedy

  IN MEMORIUM

  For my Hawaiian Hula doll,

  Jacqueline Miulana Sing Chang Nee Nohealani Pickard A
keo Livsey

  07.27.1939 - 08.15.2019

  Godspeed, Sweet Angel.

  My boy wants a dance with you on the other side.

  Thank you for your time.

  Thank you for reading Sal.

  Thank you for being you.

  More than words.

  J + k

  “Writing a book is like diving off of a mountain.

  The real worry isn’t hitting the rocks

  but not being brave enough to take the step.”

  - Kailee Reese Samuels

  August 1, 2019

  EMILY is for those scraping my ass up after the plummet.

  You are the reason I do this.

  You are the reason every word counts.

  You are the reason Sal continues to breathe.

  …and you are the reason I do it again and again.

  And to the stranger, who out of the blue messaged,

  telling me get up off the fucking ground and not quit…

  Thank you, Nikki.

  You caught me.

  And this one is yours.

  “Two roads diverged

  in a yellow wood...”

  – Robert Frost,

  The Road Not Taken

  Contents

  I. Prelude to a Cage

  A crumpled note

  2016

  1. Prayers of a Sinner

  2. Bones of a Man

  3. The Blood in My Veins Screams His Name

  4. One-Night Hussy

  5. Thank God I’m Outta There

  6. Journey to the Kernal

  7. Dead Mistress

  8. Use My Gun

  9. Ghost-tripping Haunt

  10. Ghetto Thug

  11. Dirty Money

  12. The SAINT

  13. Cook For Me—n a k e d

  14. Floating Away

  Two Seasons

  II. Call Off Your Hounds

  Part I of 2017

  15. Here Comes Trouble

  16. White Lead Based Paint

  17. Come to Daddy

  18. Never Saw This Coming

  19. D33¶ $T4CK$

  20. The Matriarch Woes

  21. Enemy Points

  22. Suck My Pacifier

  23. Nicotine Burns

  24. I Hate How Much I Love Her

  25. Poles of My Bi (Bipolar)

  26. Self-Restraint

  27. Sticks Won’t Cushion The Drop

  28. Cleanse My Soul in Pixie Shards

  III. Fight to Break Free

  Part II of 2017

  29. Down Came the Spider

  30. Like Her Crab, This Cancer Grows

  31. Humidity Hailstorm

  32. Broken Trajectory

  33. Before We Were

  34. This Cheese Smells Foul

  IV. The Flower

  35. 180º

  36. Really, Bitch?

  37. B.L.O.W. up

  38. Metal Shrapnel in Our Whirligig Dervish

  39. Unreal Remedy

  40. Fluffy Cream Filling

  41. Q is for Queen

  42. The Sacred Stain of Sanguine

  V. The Flight of Unrecoverable Cuts

  Part I of 2018

  43. Fucking Unforgiving Forgetting (FUF This Shit)

  44. Cryptic Muses

  45. Yield to the Worms in My Grave

  46. Stay In Your Own Goddamned Lane

  47. Fresh New Hands

  48. I’m Pretty Sure Everyone Hates Me

  49. Skidding Hot Collision

  50. All the Lies

  51. You Are Not Yours

  VI. And the Willow

  52. Turn My Little Masochist Cravings On

  53. Diddle in My Grotto

  54. The Hidden Fiddler

  55. This Is So Fucked Up

  56. Cuts Bleed Black

  57. No Hesitation In The Scar

  VII. A White Picket Fence Is Just a Bigger Cage

  Part II of 2018

  58. Sticky Sweet Taste of Her Sour Candy

  59. Just a Cowboy Banquet for a Hard-Up Italian Boy

  60. Penetrate My Purification Engine

  61. Please Swimmers, Stay Away From Her Shores

  62. Not in My House, Bitch

  63. Same As I Always Was

  64. Shitswamp

  65. Rise My Minions

  66. For A Crust of Bread

  67. In The Sweatshop, I Get No Sleep

  VIII. The Last Bird in a Corner

  Climate Change

  68. Box of Dreams

  69. Ladder to the Sky

  70. Samurai in the Snow

  71. Hello Hello

  72. Epic Fissure in the Globule

  73. Iris in the Hurricane

  74. Sunshine Storms

  75. Whiskey Map

  76. The Angel's Devil

  77. The Infinite Lair

  78. The Infinite Mean

  79. Fucking in Flight

  Victory Hustle

  IX. A Samurai, His Butterfly, and The Sword

  80. The Devil's Angel

  81. Nine Sense a Day

  82. Slaughter the Horses, Bury the Innocent

  83. fait accompli

  Sal & Iris in TAT4

  Madness

  The Red Shoes

  Ms. Samuels Notes

  Kailee Books

  I

  Prelude to a Cage

  A crumpled note

  hot cement culverts on the playground

  sharing and talking and fighting

  with licks of ice cream

  swapped spit all summer long

  I, the pest; you, the responsible

  hold your hand

  drink my water

  look both ways

  use my words

  with everything

  splashes on canvas

  you say I’m bright like the sun

  with my clay-caked fingers

  you say keep going with this

  violence soaks in your soul

  paling the boy I love

  flee and hide away

  dreaming of peaceful days

  split in half

  two sides of you

  one never seen

  you captured my craving

  with nothing

  she stole your heart

  that should be mine

  she has the side of you

  I long to meet

  on your stained sheets

  laying in your cum

  with your promise on my finger

  I wait to take your name

  I wait to be yours.

  I wait to be in his cage.

  - Emily xo

  2016

  1

  Prayers of a Sinner

  Wearing the dark blue tailored suit with a black trench coat, I fold the note from Emily and tuck it inside of my jacket pocket. Walking from the parking lot, I feel like I’m morphing into the skewed version of the man Luca Raniero was—classic, old mafia.

  Beneath the layers, my inked skin shrouds the darkness of my soul where the truth keeps my pure, hidden and safe. This is nothing more than a charade, a mask for the masses, but when I peel away the lies—the magic cross in my spirit craves the love of an interwoven girl.

  The one true love of my life, Iris Amarie Nakamura Kettles, is as dynamic as the chocolate croissant we’ll meet over with hundreds of gauze-like layers, each with their own fantastical labyrinth. I long to pull the pieces apart, hold them up to the light for closer inspection, only to savor each one in the darkest of night.

  I’ve kept the depth of my feelings—my emotions—trapped away. I've committed sins to protect her, and I’d do it again without blinking. I'd do it again without thinking. Guarding her is as natural as breathing.

  I don’t think of Emily or the note.

  I can’t because I’m in love with Iris.

  And she knows.

  The rain and snow mix pours from the sky as I open the massive wooden door to the off the beaten path Catholic Church.
The hinges creak announcing my intrusion, the holy sinner in God’s house. I’m about an hour outside of Boston, in a little suburb, where Father Philip Quinn offered to meet me.