Girls of Might and Magic: An Anthology By Diverse Books with Magic Read online

  One of the maids scuttled forward with quick steps, her head bowed, and wheeled the chair away to hide it around the corner. I swayed and my heart pounded so hard against my chest that I felt sick. They hadn’t even let me have my cane.

  The head maid kept her voice low so it wouldn’t travel through the wall. “Stand up straight, girl. We all know you can walk fine when you put your mind to it. All eyes will be on you in that room. You must not disgrace your father.”

  I nodded, the golden charms of my headdress dancing in front of my eyes. They caught the light as they swung and made it seem like sparks were spinning around me. I felt trapped inside. A tremor ran up my thigh, and I tried to swallow, but my mouth was dry.

  “H...h… he will be angry w...w...when he f...finds out.”

  The maid frowned down at me. “Maybe. There’s nothing we can do about that, though, is there. You are who you are.” Her tone made it clear how unfortunate that was. “But you can still bring the Chi family respect. You will be saving the life of your father and keeping your sisters from shame. You are blessed to have such a role.”

  I nodded, the gold charms blinding my eyes and brushing my mouth.

  She pursed her blood-red lips, studying me with a mixture of pity and disdain. “Talk as little as possible. Maybe you can keep him from noticing until he’s gone. If you please him tonight; he might not care. He may be dead in a few weeks if the gods will it, anyway.”

  I looked at the elegant patterns formed by the wooden lattice of the rice paper wall. Behind it, shadows danced and murmurs echoed, expectant. Did I want my husband to die? Maybe this would all be easier that way. But I didn’t wish ill upon anyone. I blushed. My thoughts shouldn’t dishonor him on our wedding day. I would bring bad luck.

  I took a deep breath. This wasn’t about me; I needed to remember that. My father needed a soldier to go in his stead to fulfill the Emperor's decree, and my husband-to-be gained a wealthy family. Maybe they would both forget about me, and I could live in peace in the shadows.

  The doors slid open in front of me, and I suppressed a gasp as I was exposed. Heads snapped towards me and eyes stared. Every person was stood facing my path. Facing me. I looked at the polished floorboards and concentrated on each step, barely daring to breathe.

  Do not fall. Do not fall. Do not fall.

  A hand entered my field of vision, and I jumped. I had reached the front of the room. The outstretched arm pushed towards me impatiently, and I took it. Huang Chen, my husband. I dared to look up. And up. My heart raced harder. He was the largest man I had ever seen. My eyes were level with his chest, and his shoulders were easily three times as broad as mine. He was far removed from the willowy scholars and elegant officials that usually came to our house. No wonder Father had chosen him to fulfill the order from the Emperor that every family in Y’Tian must provide a man to go to war.

  His dark eyes darted down to catch mine, and I looked to the floor, turning away. I pressed my free hand into my stomach to stop it from shaking.

  The monk intoned the words, but I could barely hear them. My knees felt weak. My back burned.

  Do not fall. Do not fall. They’re all watching.

  A maid lay the tea tray in front of us, and at last I could kneel, relieved to take the weight off my feet. My husband loomed over me as I performed the tea ceremony, and I tried not to think of his eyes studying my every move. I concentrated instead on letting my sleeves expose just the right amount of skin around my wrists. The elegant shapes of my fingers. Reaching the perfect color of tea.

  I had chosen jasmine for peace, fennel for strength, and limeflower for tranquility. I hoped he liked it. I knew nothing about him, and this would be his first impression of me. I presented the teacup and bowed my head. The weight left my hands, and I glanced up as he sipped. His face was stern, but he didn’t grimace. His lack of reaction puzzled me, almost as if he were vacant, his mind on other matters.

  My sisters were presented with beautiful calligraphy prayers for our well-being from the family and guests. They Sang each one over us, their gift making sure the words reached the Heavens. I suppose I was fortunate in my family in that respect. To have a real Singer at your wedding was a great honor, and I had three Singing over me. As the familiar rush of emotions from their beautiful voices squeezed my insides, I kept my face forward so my husband couldn’t see the stray tears.

  It was said that if a union was filled with enough joy, dragons would appear in the skies to bless the celebration, feeding off the emotions. I knew for certain that today the skies would be empty.

  After the Songs died, we were guided to our ornate chairs overlooking the room, and I let the tension wash out of my legs with a sigh. The comforting smell of sandalwood drifted around me as the dancers started their performance, wafting giant sleeves of silk. I dared another glance at my husband, wondering what my future would be like with him. His hair was tied back immaculately in a warrior’s knot. His chin was pointed below thin lips. His deep-set eyes stared at the dancers, but the look was glazed. Maybe he was thinking about the war. Was he scared? Eager? There was no clue in his features. I felt very alone.

  The feast dragged, but I was grateful that my husband didn’t try to start a conversation. He merely asked me to pass him the rice wine and enquired whether I was enjoying my food. Neither required a verbal reply. My stomach twisted at the thought of him learning about my stutter and the weakness in my legs. Knowing my father, he would have done everything he could to keep my impairments a secret. Now the deal was done, he wouldn’t care. It was all I could manage to keep my face blank and my breathing steady.

  At the end of the feast, the guests made paper boats with our names painted on and blew them out onto the lake for luck. My handmaids ushered me away from the merriment to dress me for bed.

  I sat still and silent as they removed the golden jewelry and undid my hair so it fell unadorned to my ankles. They rubbed it with oils until it formed a smooth glossy sheet. Finally, they dressed me in a single white robe which fastened loosely around my waist. They bowed and left.

  I sat in my chair, alone in the center of the room, and waited for my husband. I twisted the silk of my robe around and around in my fingers. I knew there were duties I was expected to perform, but I only had vague ideas of what they involved. What I did know was that I had nowhere to hide now. He would find out about my speech and legs, then likely would want nothing to do with me.

  Just like everyone else.

  The gods were cruel. Of all the families I could have been born into, they placed me amongst Singers. Father Sung so well, he was personally summoned by the Emperor to Sing the nation’s prayers to the Heavens, and our family had become one of the wealthiest in our province. When he Sang, dragons and all sorts of Heavenly Beasts flocked to the skies, feeding off the emotions. People still spoke of the time the rain dragon landed on the palace roof when Father prayed for the drought to end. The image was painted in every temple in Y’Tian. It was a cruel contrast to me, his fourth daughter, Chi Fangying, who couldn’t even speak.

  My family could Sing so beautifully it pleased the Heavens. I could barely walk.

  I tensed as I heard the door slide open behind me, and all my thoughts shattered. The cool breeze tickled my neck, and I licked my lips. Using the arms of the chair for support, I stood and bowed my head. Huang Chen stood with his arms folded, looking me up and down. Again, I was taken aback by the size of him. The strength of him. If he wanted to hurt me, I would have no defense.

  It had been a while since Father had slapped me. My second sister had more recently, and even the head maid felt she could. Most of the time now they simply ignored me. The true sting from their palms was the humiliation, since none of them possessed much strength. If my husband hit me, it would be far worse.

  As fear tightened my chest, I remembered what the head maid had said. I only had to please him for one night, then he would be gone to war. Just hide who I was for one night. One night.

 
It stretched out in front of me like an eternity.

  “Look at me.”

  Huang Chen reached his hand up to my cheek, and I froze. Calloused fingers cupped my chin, lifting it so my eyes met his. He was also dressed in white robes that hung loosely around his neck, exposing more chest than I had seen before. A flush heated my cheeks and neck. His closeness made me uncomfortable. My eyes fled to the side.

  Just one night.

  “Can’t you even look at me?” my husband said in a low voice. I focused on him, and my breath caught. He raised his eyebrows.

  “I… I…” I took a deep breath and swallowed.

  He let go of my chin and looked away. “No, you don’t have to say it. You’re part of the noble Chi family. I am nothing.” He folded his arms.

  My eyes widened. No, no, this was all going wrong. How had I displeased him so much already? Men who were angry and felt belittled were more likely to be violent. “S… sorry. I… I don’t…”

  He sighed and looked down, his body tense, resigned. “Do you want me to leave you alone tonight?” He didn’t meet my eyes again.

  Hope and shame, fear and relief mixed together in a sickening tangle. If I sent him away, that would dishonor our family. It would be an unlucky start to our marriage and displease Father. But I wasn’t sure I could do this. Whatever ‘this’ was. The more I thought about it, the harder it was to breathe. I wanted to be far away from him and curl into a ball and hide.

  I concentrated hard on my words before forcing them out. “I don’t know.”

  He raised his hand, and I flinched, taking a step back and raising my hands in defense.

  His mouth parted in surprise, his hand merely tightening his robe, and then he grimaced and his brows lowered in anger. “Who do you think I am? Just because I am not a lord, doesn't make me a monster.”

  His voice made me flinch again. He sounded like Father did before he hit me. I wasn’t sure how to improve his mood.

  No blows came, and I lowered my hands, looking down at the dragons on the carpet. How could I diffuse his anger when I didn’t understand where it came from?

  “I can see I am not welcome here. I will excuse myself.” My husband’s voice was very cold. He brushed past me, and I didn’t dare turn.

  I heard the rattle of the door sliding open. His footsteps paused. “However much you pray for my death, it might not happen, you know? You could be stuck with me.” The door clattered shut.

  I sank back in my chair confused, exhausted, and emotional. I had definitely not made a good impression. My relief was heavy, but also my fear of what Father would do if he found out. And beneath it all, was the unexpected sting of rejection. I felt more unwanted than ever.

  But I’d always known I would live this life alone. I would get through this.

  Six months later

  There was a tap at my door.

  My handmaid scuttled to answer it. Now that I was married, I was mostly left alone, so I looked up from my calligraphy prayers in surprise.

  I had spent the morning gathering spring flowers from the garden in my wheelchair and then arranging them in my room. The scent of magnolias and cherry blossoms wafted peacefully around my room. My back was aching today, and my legs wouldn’t obey me. I wanted to be left alone.

  The maid opened the door and let out a startled squeak. I dropped my brush, splattering ink across the silk. I couldn’t see who she was talking to, but she tried to recover. “I am sorry, but Mistress is having a bad day. She doesn’t wish to be disturbed.”

  There was a clatter as she was shoved out of the way, and the head maid strode in. I hadn’t seen her in months.

  Her hands fluttered in her haste. “Fangying, you must come at once. Get up, get up. Your husband is here.”

  My body went cold. “W...what? But the w...war…”

  She looked annoyed and straightened her already immaculate robes. “I know. He didn’t even have the honor to call ahead and warn us.”

  I looked down at my chair. “I c...c...can’t stand today.”

  She sighed, and her jaw tightened. “Well, you have no choice. Come, quickly.”

  The months of solitude and peace being broken so abruptly made something inside of me bend and snap like a stalk of bamboo, leaving a sharpness I hadn't felt before. “N...no. You should u… understand your place.” I turned to my handmaid. “P...push me.”

  The head maid looked so shocked, she didn’t reply.

  I was wheeled past her and out of my pavilion, across the gentle slopes of bridges to the main house. My heart was pounding in my ears. What did Huang Chen want? The short time we had spent together had been a disaster. Was he seeking an annulment? That would bring great shame on my family. Father would be furious.

  My handmaid paused at the steps to the Men’s Pavilion and passed me my cane so I could climb the red and black steps. A servant ran over with his head bowed to move my chair out of sight.

  The head maid approached me from behind. “It would have been much better if we’d opened the doors while you walked across the gardens,” she hissed. “He could have admired your approach from afar framed by blossoms and reflected in the pools. A much more pleasing meeting, don’t you think?”

  I ignored her and concentrated on reaching the top of the steps without stumbling. My legs and back burned with every step. When I reached the door, I paused to catch my breath under the eaves, and my handmaid handed me my fan. I wafted the stretched silk in front of my face, hoping my makeup would hide the redness in my cheeks.

  A servant announced my name and slid open the door.

  I straightened and gripped my cane as the breeze wafted my pale pink silk robes, nudging me inside.

  Huang Chen dominated the room as he spoke with my second sister. He was still dressed in his armor, the dark breastplate making him seem even broader than before. It formed wings on each shoulder, from which hung a black cloak. My sister didn’t seem to know what to do with him. Technically he was far below her in status, but also now related by marriage. She smiled and gestured aimlessly around the room, waiting for somebody else to play host and work out what was appropriate. At least Father was still absent.

  Huang Chen saw me and seemed relieved, bored of my sister’s attempts. I bowed my head as he strode towards me.

  His voice was confident and impatient. “There you are. Are you well? I’ve come to collect you.”

  I let my gaze drift over his breastplate, up his strong neck to his face. His eyes were too intense, and I let my gaze fall again to his chin.

  I needed to make a better impression this time or risk him discarding me.

  “S… sss.... so glad...”

  I couldn’t do this.

  “Are you shaking?” His voice was soft yet disappointed.

  I tightened my hands together and tried to think of the right words. “I am s… sorry. I am just n… nervous.” The words lurched from my mouth without grace.

  My second sister hurried up with her normal fake smile painted across her pretty face. “She is just shy and overwhelmed, dear brother. Your arrival is quite a surprise. Our father will be here soon to welcome you.”

  Huang Chen held up his hand. “Do not trouble Lord Chi. I have merely come to collect my wife, and we will be on our way. It is not proper for her to still live with her parents now she is married.”

  My heart plunged. I was leaving with him? I had dreamed for years of escaping this place, but every second with Huang Chen had been awkward and humiliating. There would be no escape. No way to hide my stutter or my muscle weakness.

  I took a deep breath. “W… where are we going?”

  He turned to address me. “The front line is now well established. There is room at the fortress for you.”

  I went cold. He was taking me into the war.

  “Our carriage is outside. Your maids can send your belongings behind us in a wagon. We are traveling with the soldiers and don’t have long. We should go right away.”

  I felt myself nod.
Sound became muffled, and I wondered if I would faint. My second sister was arguing and even the head maid was coming over, but it was hard to make out any of their words. Huang Chen’s arm hooked around mine, and he pulled me into the gardens towards the front gates.

  He was so tall, my legs barely touched the floor as he propelled me along. I was equally grateful not to be able to fall and overwhelmed by how quickly everything was happening.

  The servants opened the gates, and Huang Chen lifted me into a carriage. I untangled myself from the silk curtains and stumbled onto the cushions. My husband followed, his head bowed so it didn’t hit the roof. He shouted a command, and the carriage jolted forward.

  I gripped the faded cushions and closed my eyes. This was my husband. He had every right to come and collect me. What had I expected? At least he hadn’t made me ride a horse. I straightened my skirt, tightened the ribbon on my sash and attempted a calm, elegant exterior.

  “You know, Fangying, I had never ridden in a carriage before I married you. They made me an officer for being related to your father.” There was a bitter twist to his mouth, despite the positive words.

  I searched for something to say, but I couldn’t decipher the emotions behind his words.

  I parted the silk drape instead and looked out. “I’ve n...never seen outside our home before.” As the horses’ hooves continued their sharp clip-clop over the flagstones, the streets became busier and busier with men and women in pale, drab colors bustling under the bright sun. Children ran and shrieked. They all parted at the sound of the carriage and the soldiers on horseback, craning their necks to see who was inside.

  My husband leaned forwards. “Never? Why not?”

  I moved back from the drape and stared down. “F…Father is very pr…protective of us.”