How to Ditch Your Fairy Read online

  “Hey!” he shouted. “It’s not a race!”

  “Yes it is,” I shouted over my shoulder and sped up. This time it was him catching me at the light.

  “You’re fast,” he said, breathing hard. We both were. I felt a trickle of sweat run down my back.

  “Yup.”

  “Wanna keep pace the rest of the way?” he asked. “That way we could, you know, talk.”

  I grinned. The light changed and we jogged across together.

  “It’s hard to believe that all those things are really against the rules.”

  “You mean the infractions list?”

  “Yeah,” Steffi said. “Why does the school need to be so crazy strict?”

  “Because it’s a sports school, Steffi. Sports are all about rules. If you can’t follow rules, you can’t play sports. Discipline is the most important thing an athlete can learn, no matter what sport they play.”

  “Wow,” Steffi said. “Do they make you learn that by heart?”

  “Huh?” I said. Why did he always say such weird things? “No. It’s just true. I like rules. They’re why sports make sense. You don’t have to guess what you’re supposed to do, you just know. When I hit the middle stump and it goes cartwheeling, the batter’s out. And the same rules apply to everyone. Like sports, the school is a rule-governed system that makes sense. If I follow the rules all’s well, if I don’t all’s not.”

  “Well, sure, except for when someone cheats. Or when the referees make a bad call. Or when the rules don’t apply to some people because they’re so special. Like that Danders Anders guy.”

  “Danders gets demerits too, you know. He gets more than you do.”

  Steffi laughed. “You sound like my sister.”

  “What?” We were both jogging much slower now.

  “She thinks I have a getting- out- of- trouble or nevergetting-caught fairy—she calls it different things—but she’s my big sister and is convinced that I get away with murder and always have. You know how big sisters are.”

  I stopped mid-stride. Steffi pulled up. “You okay?”

  “Did you say a getting-out- of-trouble fairy?” That made so much sense.

  “That’s what she reckons.”

  “Hah!” I started jogging again. “Steffi, how many demerits have you gotten so far? How many times have teachers and coaches cited you for an infraction?”

  “An infraction? Like what Sandra was explaining about? Would I know if a teacher or coach had given me one?”

  “Oh, yes, you’d know.” I started to run through the Steffi infractions I’d seen: kissing, holding hands, passing notes to Stupid- Name, being sloppily and incorrectly dressed, arriving late, fighting in class (when he told us that everyone hated New Avaloners). I was sure there were more.

  “Then none, I guess,” he said.

  “Hah!” I exclaimed. I knew it.

  “What?”

  “Your sister is spot on. At least two coaches saw you hand in hand with Stup—I mean, Fiorenze—that’s an infraction; your tie was messed up all day yesterday— that’s an infraction; you were later than me to Fencing and I got a demerit—you didn’t.”

  “So?”

  “So!? It means your sister’s right! You definitely have a getting- out-of-trouble fairy. You can do whatever you like! And wholly get away with it! Oh, if I had your fairy . . .”

  Steffi waved my words away. “All of that doesn’t mean anything. I’m the new kid in school, they’re just going easy on me.”

  “Ah, no, Mr. West Coast. They don’t ever go easy. Not on anyone ever. Especially not on new kids. At the start of the year we were a class of 540. Now there’s 403. You should have demerits up the wazoo.”

  Steffi shook his head and did his West Coast hand wave. “Doesn’t add up—”

  “Doesn’t add up! I just thought of another one: you talked out of turn in PR when you were saying how everyone hates us. But you weren’t given a demerit. Half the class was, but not you!” Why was he denying it when it was so obviously true?

  “Whatever. Listen, Charlie, will you do me a favor? Don’t mention this to anyone? Even though it’s not true I don’t want other people to be thinking it is.”

  I slowed my jog to a walk and spat on my pinkie, holding it out. “Fairy honor.”

  He did the same. “Ah, okay. Fairy honor.” We pressed our pinkies together, then let go. I suppressed the shiver that contact with Steffi gave me.

  “You can wholly trust me. I haven’t even told anyone— except Ro and she’s the queen of secret keeping—that you like to be called Steffi.”

  Steffi laughed. “I don’t care about that. You do know it’s mostly a girl’s name on the West Coast too? I know how to handle the jerks who hassle me about it.”

  Jerks? “I’m sure you do. I’m glad you moved here. I never would’ve met you if you’d stayed back on the West Coast.”

  Steffi didn’t say anything.

  “Aren’t you glad you moved?”

  “Sometimes. A lot of the time I miss home. Ravenna seems so far away from here.”

  “What’s Ravenna?” I asked

  “That’s my city. That’s where I’m from. You never heard of Ravenna?” Steffi asked, sounding shocked.

  “Well, I guess, um,” I said, wondering if I should have heard of it. “Well, I haven’t really studied geography. I was at a sports middle school too, so—”

  “It’s beautiful. Lots of hills.”

  New Avalon has lots of hills too, I wanted to tell him, but I had a feeling that wouldn’t go down too well. “Are your friends back home proud of you for getting into NA Sports?” I asked instead.

  Steffi sighed.“I don’t suppose they’ve thought about it.”

  “Will they come visit you? Are you the first to move here?” I’d never met anyone from there before. I wondered if they were all like Steffi or if he was unique.

  “Unbelievable. Do you only think about New Avalon?” Steffi’s face darkened, like he was really mad. “All you ever ask me is what I think of your school, of your city, of you Avaloids, but you never ask me about where I come from, about my old school. Not a single person has asked me about home.”

  “Sorry,” I said, not sure of what he wanted me to say. We couldn’t help it that we came from the most important city in the world, could we? I patted his shoulder but he shrugged my hand off.

  “Why aren’t any of you curious?”

  “Well—,” I began. I didn’t want him to be mad at me, but I didn’t know what to say to make him happy again.

  “Why don’t any of you ever mention Stanislaw Leda? Or Huntley du Sautoy? Or Livio?” he asked, almost shouting. “They are only three of the most famous people in the world! But they’re not from New Avalon, are they? They’re not Your Stanislaw or Your Huntley or Your Livio so you just don’t care!”

  “But I love Livio!” I had reams and reams of Livio’s music.

  “You care more about Your Zora- Anne even though the only thing she’s famous for is being charismatic because of some fairy you all believe she has. She doesn’t do anything! She’s not a sports star. She doesn’t sing or write or dance or make scientific discoveries or design buildings. She’s just popular and charming! What’s the point of that?”

  “She does do . . .” I stopped. I couldn’t think of a single thing Our Z-A did.

  Steffi flicked both his hands. “And you, Charlie, you say you want to travel, see more of the world, but you’re not interested in anywhere but here. If it doesn’t have to do with New Avalon, or more specifically, with New Avalon Sports High, you’re not interested.”

  Was that true? Then I remembered. “I have asked you about the West Coast. You said they think we’re stuck- up, that they hate us, and I asked—”

  “You asked me what they think about you. That’s not curiosity about the world, that’s more of being obsessed with New Avalon.” Steffi was waving his arms around and walking faster. I’d never seen him so cranky before. He still managed to look pulc
hy. His lips were so soft-looking. So gorgeously shaped. I wondered if he’d be mad at me if he knew that’s what I was thinking. “You do know this isn’t the only city in the world, don’t you? It’s not even the biggest.”

  “But I . . .” That was hardly fair. “It’s not the biggest? That doesn’t sound right. Are you sure?”

  Steffi let out a loud sigh. “I’m not mad at you, Charlie. It’s not just you anyway. It’s the whole city. Sometimes I feel like the West Coast has disappeared and that Ravenna and all my friends there have vanished into thin air. That I’m just imagining the mail I get.”

  We turned the corner onto Mallett, the steepest street in New Avalon, and thus in the world (though Steffi now had me wondering if that was true) and got a sweeping view all the way out past the river and the city to the ocean. NA Sports lay at the bottom of the hill. I looked at my watch. “Oops. We’ve only got five minutes.”

  Steffi looked at me and grinned. I smiled back. He really wasn’t mad at me. “Want to sprint it?”

  “Sure,” I said. Did I mention that Mallett is steep? At least if I had a broken ankle I’d be off school and couldn’t rack up any more demerits. Well, not as many.

  “You ready?” he asked, looking at me sideways. When he looked at me like that I was sure he liked me close to how much I liked him.

  I nodded. I would probably do anything he suggested.

  “Let’s goooo!” He took off.

  I ran as hard as I could, caught him, then momentum took over and it wasn’t so much running as keeping from toppling over. We screamed all the way down the hill.

  CHAPTER 14

  Doctor Tahn

  Days walking: 63

  Demerits: 5

  Conversations with Steffi: 8

  Doos clothing acquired: 0

  Game suspensions: 1

  Public service hours: 3

  Hours spent enduring Fiorenze

  Stupid- Name’s company: 2.75

  We should have been given several demerits. We arrived less than a minute before the bell (that’s one), our ties crooked (two), our hair messy (three), shirts untucked (four), the echo of our yelling (five), only just faded away. We were laughing and panting and then Steffi hugged me and the sensation of him being so close, of inhaling his sweat, feeling the heat rising from our bodies, drove all thoughts from my head. It was so intensely sublime that when he let go of me I almost fainted. But hugging like that should have been our sixth demerit. (It’s only okay if you’ve just scored a goal or your team’s just won.)

  There were oceans of coaches and teachers around. A sea of brown and gold coaching jackets, and the brown suits of the teachers. They must’ve seen and heard us. It should’ve been at least six demerits each, and another game suspension for me, but they didn’t say a word.

  Steffi’s getting- out- of- trouble fairy had covered me too. What a stellarly doos fairy. How could he not believe?

  Rochelle was waiting for me. “Hello, Stefan,” she said, straightening my tie.

  “Hey,” he said. “See you later.”

  “Later,” I repeated, watching him walk away. He was the doosest boy in the world. Much dooser than Sholto Pak Sung or any of the other crush-inducing seniors.

  He turned back to wave. “See you in Fencing!”

  “Fencing,” I repeated.

  Rochelle snapped her fingers in front of my eyes. I jumped.

  “Do I have your attention? Have you forgotten it’s our physical today?”

  “Oops.” I’d completely forgotten. All students have to have a monthly physical examination on account of the school having to make sure we are in tip- top condition at all times. It is wholly tedious and you have to make up the missed class in your own time either at lunch or after school. Given that I had public service after school, that meant lunch was now gone. I sighed. Rochelle grabbed my hand and pulled me at great speed down the hall to testing without breaking into an actual run (one foot on the ground at all times). I tucked in my shirt as best as I could with my other hand. We made it through the door just as the bell rang. Phew.

  Before I could even sit down, one of the nurses handed us both a container and led us to the bathroom, neither smiling nor saying anything to us. Nurses are under strict instructions not to fraternize with students. She stood outside to wait until we were done.

  Despite having completely forgotten I was due for a physical, I did, in fact, need to pee. Had I remembered, I’d have drunk liters to make sure of it. Nothing worse than sitting in testing, drinking and drinking and drinking, then waiting and waiting and waiting until you need to go, then going back and forth to the bathroom with the nurse through several false alarms. When you can’t pee, having a nurse standing outside waiting makes your bladder even more nervous.

  Fortunately this time it wasn’t an issue for either of us. We handed the nurse our containers. I for one am always happy to relinquish a container full of pee. I’m repulsed by how warm it is. You’d think after so many years of giving urine samples I’d’ve learned not to be a baby about it. You’d be wrong.

  We washed our hands thoroughly, waiting till the door swung shut behind the nurse, before talking.

  “So you and Stefan . . . ,” Rochelle began.

  My cheeks got hot.

  “Woo-hoo! I knew it! He does like you! And without a stupid fairy making him! I mean, why else would he come sit at our table when he and Fiorenze just got together?”

  “They broke up.”

  “I knew it!”

  My cheeks felt even hotter. “He didn’t say anything about linking.” I hoped the heat on my face didn’t show. “I think he just wanted to see what it was like walking to school.”

  “That’s right, Charlie, he just wanted to walk to school with you even though it takes so much longer than taking the bus.” Rochelle finished drying her hands. “We should go back in. You don’t want to accrue any more demerits.”

  We returned to the waiting room and sat in the two remaining empty chairs—unfortunately, not next to each other, not that we were allowed to talk. None of the other students bent over their tablets were in my year or streams so I didn’t know them, though some I knew by sight, and obviously everyone knew Cassie-Ann Zahour.

  Cassie-Ann was in final year A-stream basketball. It was rumored she’d already been offered five endorsements, not to mention contracts for several top teams. A book was being run on which ones she’d take. She was wholly destined to be an Our. I’d had many daydreams of feeding the ball to her under the post while she scored and scored and scored. Back when I’d thought I’d be in a basketball stream.

  Rochelle’d had a crush on her for as long as I could remember and was mournful that the odds of being promoted from B-stream to A-stream basketball while still only a first year were vastly low, in the vicinity of zero, in fact. She would have to wait until she graduated and hope that some day they wound up on the same team.

  I turned to the med form on my tablet, wishing, once again, there was a same- as- last- time button you could press, but no, you had to start from scratch, giving them your name, DOB, ID, class, electives, etc., etc. all over again before you even got to your diet, sleep patterns, and all the other health questions. Wholly maddening; vastly numbing.

  I was last to transmit my form and so was last to be called in for a physical. I had plenty of time to think about Steffi. Was he interested in me in more than a friend way? I had no idea. That hug had seemed way more than friendly. But maybe it was just the exhilaration of having conquered Mallett.

  He always seemed pleased to see me. But he hadn’t tried to hold my hand or kiss me like he had with Fiorenze Stupid- Name. Not that I’d let him kiss me—I was against being expelled. But maybe her all- boys- will- worship- the- ground- you- tread- on fairy had made him rush things?

  I wondered what it would be like having Steffi’s fairy. I wouldn’t use it for evil like, say, kidnapping Fiorenze and dumping her on an island far, far, far away. All I wanted was to stop racking up
endless demerits. Not to mention it being the perfect antidote to my mom’s knowing- whather-kids- are- up- to fairy. How wondrous would that be?

  Did Steffi like me? Was it a friend thing waiting outside my house to walk to school with me? Or a boyfriend thing?

  “Charlie Steele?”

  I followed the nurse into the windowless testing room, rolled up my sleeve, and presented my arm for puncturing. A vial of blood and a skin swab later, I was ushered into Dr. Tahn’s office.

  Frang, blast, and dung.

  Tahn is my least favorite doctor. I call her Dr. Ha Ha. She thinks she has a humor fairy so everything she says is hilarious. It’s best to laugh at her jokes no matter how unfunny. She acts like she’s your friend, and always, always wants to know how you’re feeling, how you’re really feeling. At my last physical I’d only been walking everywhere for a month, so I hadn’t yet racked up that many demerits, plus I’d gotten the businesslike Dr. Baranova.

  I sighed and sat down.

  “We’re quite the walking cloud of gloom, aren’t we, Charlie?”

  I never know how I’m supposed to respond. Should I agree and get the heart- to- heart over and done with? Or should I disagree, in the forlorn hope that the heart- to-heart can be avoided?

  I grunted noncomittally.

  “I see you’ve been accruing many demerits. You’re a regular demerit queen, aren’t you?”

  I smiled to demonstrate that I was amused, even though I wasn’t.

  “So what’s going on, Charlie? Trouble at home? Are your parents beating you? Ha ha!”

  “No, Doctor, no beatings.”

  “Well, whatever it is, Charlie, if you keep accruing demerits at this rate you could end up in the principal’s office.”

  I shuddered. The principal’s office was practically a synonym for “expelled.” I didn’t want to find out exactly what velvet glove, iron fist meant.

  “We need to work together to keep you out of her office.”

  “Yes, Doctor.” I failed to suppress a yawn.