TakeItOffAgain Read online

  Take It Off! (Again)

  Justin Whitfield & Taylor Cole

  A sequel to Take It Off!

  More pranks, jokes, adventures and sexy exploits from two male strippers who have traveled the world, entertaining women and learning to make them scream with pleasure.

  In this book, they take you with them on a hedonistic nude cruise, to a wild Jamaican sex club, inside the set of a porn movie shoot and on tour as they party their way from one sexcapade to the next.

  This is not, however, a tale of sexual conquests. It is a tale of sexual liberation—a story of two red-blooded men who love women and who have truly enjoyed helping them unleash their sexual fantasies and fulfill their sexual desires.

  An EC for Men erotica story from Ellora’s Cave

  TAKE IT OFF! (AGAIN)

  Taylor Cole & Justin Whitfield

  “If I had a son, would I want him to be a male stripper? The obvious answer is No. However, if I knew it would help him in so many ways like it did for me, the definite answer is YES!” — Justin Whitfield

  “I just wanna get laid!” — Taylor Cole

  Foreword

  There is a big difference between growing up male and growing up female. Society teaches us that sex is viewed much differently by the two sexes. A guy can have a lot of sex and he is a stud while a girl can have as much sex and be considered a slut. These beliefs are so deeply embedded in our minds. As male strippers for many years, we have had the privilege to see women of all legal ages act the way they really want to without embarrassment or judgment.

  This has been a huge side of the male stripper world that we didn’t know about or even expect to see. The whole schtick about “the secret lifestyle” of the male stripper—our lifestyle was anything but secret. No one really bothered looking into our lives until the movie Magic Mike. We always thought it should focus more on the women and the secret ways they act around half-naked men. The whole “I am woman; hear me roar!” thing. They get crazy sometimes!

  One funny story that always comes to mind is about the Amish girls. Our friends used to tell us how, at certain shows outside of Cleveland, the Amish girls would come to the show in very traditional Amish clothing, but when they came out of the bathroom, they were completely hoochie-mama’d up! When a woman lets her inner desires out, she really enjoys herself—and we really get to enjoy her! The walls are down, her defenses are melted and she is now on the offense. She is the pursuer!

  Think of it this way: When is it acceptable for a man to take a woman he has never met before, bend her over her chair, ram his pelvis into her doggie style, smack her kind of hard on the ass, pull her hair and say, ”Who’s your daddy!” and not get arrested? Instead, he gets paid and she is screaming and having a blast. The walls that women have up in everyday life are nonexistent in this atmosphere. This leads to some of the craziest adventures you can imagine—a lot of fun too! The numerous girls a male stripper can enjoy are endless. Not all of the guys take advantage of this opportunity, though. Some are committed guys in strong relationships. However, most will enjoy their prime stripping years and have lots and lots of sex. These are just some of their stories.

  You will notice that, once again, even though most of the stories are written in first person, we have chosen not to identify which one of us is telling the story, even though in some cases, it will be easy to figure out. That’s to protect the guilty (us and the people involved in the stories) and the innocent (our families, so we can tell them it was the other guy who did everything in the Sexcapades chapters).

  Chapter One

  Funny Happenings and Bored Doings

  Hands down, our co-workers are the funniest people we’ve ever had the pleasure to work with. When you work in nothing but your underwear and gyrate for screaming women holding dollar bills—you’ve gotta have a sense of humor! Here are a few of the funny things we have seen and done over the years.

  Naked Relay

  Sometimes when it’s slow or very early and the women have yet to arrive, we try to find ways to kill time. Once we came up with the idea that we would each take a turn sprinting across the six-lane road with nothing on but tennis shoes. The first one would go, touch a certain sign on other side of road and run back to tag the next guy. Usually there are about twelve to sixteen guys working and we sometimes got up to eight guys to participate. This became a once-a-week tradition. The surrounding business owners even got a kick out of it and would come out to laugh and cheer every Wednesday at seven o’clock.

  The dressing room has a side door that is twenty yards from that six-lane street. The dancer would start off running but the worst thing would be to get caught in the center median during rush hour and not be able to cross. He would literally stand there with his hands holding the ol’ cock and balls! Each guy wanted to outdo the other, so the relays got more elaborate as time went on. It wasn’t until one of the guys got the idea to put on the head of a Batman costume, run into a nearby gentleman’s club across the street, jump on stage, dance with his wiener hanging out and then get chased by security, that we decided there was no way we could top that so it was time to end that madness.

  Birthday Bash

  It was my birthday night at the club. The place was decorated by one of my customers, and I brought food for all the guys in the back to eat. It was tradition to bring food on your birthday, usually catered food. My birthday cake was coming but my customer said it was special so I had to wait. It was now around eleven p.m. Saturday night and I was going up prime time. (On your birthday, you get to choose when and how long you want to be up onstage.) The house was packed! I performed, my act went over really well and the women were screaming. I mean really screaming. Not the type of screaming I was used to, though. As a matter of fact, a fight had broken out in front of my stage. I had barely started collecting money when my customer thought it would be a great idea to bring the cake to my main stage. During my birthday set. There was no walking room. The girls were elbow to elbow. So as she tried to make her way through the crowd, someone bumped her and the cake went everywhere! The fight was on and management had to break it up. Worst birthday set ever!

  Trying Too Hard

  This is something has happened to all male dancers, several times! A girl you like or a girl you just met but are attracted to comes into the club and you want to impress her so badly! You can’t wait to hit that stage so she can see you with all the lights on you and the crowd going crazy at every gyration you make. The time comes and in the five short seconds before you’re called on stage, something happens. Your heart skips a beat and you second-guess your confidence, your physique, your hair, your outfit. Every insecurity you’ve ever had races through your head.

  It’s too late now to turn back. You walk on the stage and the usual crowd response isn’t there. They may scream but it’s just not as much as it should be and it just gets worse. Your mojo is scrambled like a Waffle House omelet. You completely bomb on stage. Nothing goes right and instead of looking like a god, you are suddenly shunned by the audience. The girl you like won’t even come to your stage to tip. Even worse, she is tipping someone else!

  Why did this particular set go so terribly wrong? Women, it seems, have a sixth sense about a man’s confidence. Even though the music, the lights and the costume are all exactly the same, the crowd of women somehow, without even knowing it, feel all those insecurities the dancer felt in those five little seconds before he stepped on stage. They just don’t feel that magic and don’t get up to tip.

  Amateur Hour

  It was a Thursday night and the club had only three customers. The electricity went out right before the amateur contest started. One of the amateurs was in the locker room and refused to leave until
he got his shot at the contest. After about ten minutes of listening to him be arrogant and say how he could make it as a male dancer and boast about having more skills than half of us, we decided to play a little prank on him.

  There was no lighting or sound so we took a flashlight and held it over his head for the spotlight, Jimmy was beat boxing and Angelo was playing the bongos. We told the amateur he had to dance right there in the locker room while we used what we had so that he could show us his talent. We thought for sure he would know we were joking but he just kept going. By now the whole staff, bartenders, waiters, management were all in the locker room watching him dance under the spotlight. We would say stuff like, “show us a power move!” and he would do a move he had clearly just made up. A dancer shouted, “Do a karate kick!” and the amateur would do a spinning back kick, fall down and hurry back up as if he had done it on purpose.

  We all kept a serious face the whole time and critiqued him as if he were really good. We gave him advice on what moves he should try and he would attempt them. We had this guy dancing for half an hour! He was sweating and out of breath as if he had just run a marathon when we told him the audition was over. The guys all told him how he was really good and he definitely had potential and he was the best amateur we had ever seen! We told him we would call as soon as a position was open. He finally left.

  Torn Pride

  Wife beaters are those thin tank tops that you buy in packs of three. This is an important part of a male stripper’s costume. It’s cheap, it makes you look more muscular and you can tear it off. For some reason, at the ol’ Fruit of the Loom factory, one out of every hundred wife beaters is made to be indestructible. Even though they look completely identical, this one is not! You will not know if you are wearing this one shirt until the chorus of the song hits and it’s time to tear it off. You can tug and tear until you’re blue in the face but it will not rip. The only thing that will be destroyed is your pride. Once, you looked like a big, powerful stud onstage, now you just look like a silly five-year-old trying to get undressed! You realize there is no hope so you give in to defeat and just pull it off over your head.

  What Are the Odds?

  For as long as I’ve danced, television talk shows have always used many stripper friends of mine. Both male and female. From Jenny Jones to Ellen DeGeneres, they always want us to either be eye candy on the show or act like we are in the show as a person who is “blank”, usually the baby daddy or cheating boyfriend or husband. I’ve never had an interest because it seems too trashy. One night, I was sitting at home and watching television with my girlfriend and we were talking about the fight I had with another dancer a few months back. (This is the fight from the story Xxx-tasy.) She didn’t know who he was and had asked what he looked like. I described him and not thirty minutes later, I was changing the channel and came across the Jenny Jones show. The end of the show was near and Jenny Jones announced to the audience that they had eye candy for the girls and brought out a stripper. Guess who it was!? Yes, the guy we were talking about!

  Over Exposed

  Another daytime talk show, except much bigger (Ellen) was doing a segment on embarrassing Facebook photos. This is where Ellen chooses a person in the audience and looks at their Facebook photos and chooses one to make fun of. Our poor friend was about to get more exposure than he ever thought he would, and not the kind a stripper needs when he wants to attract women. All male dancers have photos floating around where we have taken a pic with a guy somewhere. Usually after a show, maybe the owner or manager (guy) wants a photo with us. However, this poor guy (our friend) had taken a photo of him and a guy that was just the two of them. It was after a show but all Ellen and over a couple of million viewers saw was our friend in his trunks with two dollar bills sticking out of his trunks and standing too close to the guy in the photo. It looked like he had just done a private dance for the guy. Within one week, YouTube had over a half million views of this segment!

  Better Dancing Through Chemistry

  Years ago, ecstasy was a very popular drug. One dancer dropped his X tab before going onstage. The stuff obviously took effect before he got onstage for his performance. We knew something was up when his act was over and yet he still was dancing and rubbing his body like he was in the middle of his performance. The moves were not even in rhythm to the beat. With each passing moment, the girls were losing their hopes of tipping him. He danced at least five or ten minutes past the point where his act ended. He was rubbing up on the mirrors on the back wall of the stage. He was really getting into his sexiness now, humping the floor, rubbing his chest, stomach, legs and inner thighs. He hadn’t even taken one dollar yet. It was as if no one else was there. The girls were just standing at his stage, waiting, wanting to tip him, and then waiting some more. Everyone in the audience was thinking, “Wow! This guy is really into his act!” All of the dancers were thinking, “Holy shit! This is FUCKING HILARIOUS!” It was the longest set EVER before the dancer started taking his tips.

  Me Tarzan

  Every club has a rope that hangs from the rafters above the stage. There are always a couple of guys who like to swing like Tarzan. One night, a dancer was swinging from one side of the stage to the other side like he had done so many times before. The result would be different this night though. On this night, the rope snapped, causing him to crash into the tables. Luckily, no women were hurt, but he had to go to the hospital for stitches. I’ll bet you didn’t realize how hazardous our jobs can be!

  Tipper Toppled

  There was this dancer who was pretty freaking big. He was six foot three and easily weighed two hundred and forty pounds. He would bounce around a lot onstage because he was not much of a dancer. He had this signature move where he would go to the back part of the stage and run toward the edge of the stage and then slide on his knees toward the girl waiting to tip him. This one time, it was a dead Wednesday night, he did the move and his quad muscle must have cramped up, Instead of sliding toward her on his knees, his legs extended midway through and he ended up spearing the girl to the floor! Imagine part Superman flying motion, part football tackle. He knocked the poor girl to the floor. She was so embarrassed! He apologized and luckily she wasn’t mad.

  An Officer and Not a Gentleman

  We knew a bartender at a bar down the street from our club. She would always hook it up. So after our first set, we would go and get our drink on. My friend must have had a few too many because when we got back, he was due onstage. He had a girl in his act, which was called The Officer and Gentleman act. He did his act and when it was over, he approached the girl onstage, grabbed her, turned her around, bent her over the chair and started pounding her doggie style. His hips were thrusting with so much force that on the fourth or fifth thrust, he literally knocked her off the stage! She flew straight off and landed face down. Once again, the embarrassment was so great that she never had the chance to get mad.

  Hazards of the Profession

  We love it when women get loose and give in to their wild side. But sometimes they get a little carried away. The worst thing is when overly enthusiastic customer gets so curious about your penis size that she pulls the front down to sneak a peek! Very embarrassing—especially when a whole group of women gets to see the goods! Getting yanked offstage is almost as much fun as having your pants pulled down. It happens more than you would think. It always starts with an overactive customer who thinks she can tug and pull at us however she wants. Next thing you know, you’re stage diving head first into the floor.

  Believe It or Not

  I once gave a lap dance to this really young hottie who was probably nineteen or twenty. I took her hand and led her to the table dance area and sat her on the chair. I stepped over her lap so that her face was in front of my crotch area. We smiled at each other and I started my dance. Not ten seconds into it, she whipped out my cock and put it in her mouth. I quickly pulled back, surprised. She looked embarrassed when I said, “You can’t do that,” and walked to the
back in total disbelief…disbelief that I had my cock in this hottie’s mouth and my first instinct was to pull back and tuck it back into my trunks!

  Where’s the Beef?

  There was this big, good-looking Peruvian dancer who had a very thick accent. Unfortunately, he had a very small penis. One night, he was drinking a bit too much and was inebriated. He went to the bathroom to relieve himself and quickly returned to the floor to work side stages. He didn’t realize that his small penis was hanging out of the side of his fullback. He was walking around the club for five or ten minutes. Dick out. It even had a rubber band wrapped around it. That’s how we found out he tied off. The poor guy was mortified when he realized his error! His earnings dipped as well.

  Flashdance

  This dancer was doing the vampire act. He was going through the routine and he picked up the girl he had brought onstage. He was a semi pro wrestler so he knew how to pick up a girl and swing her around his body like it was nothing. It was a busy night and he thought to himself that he should do one of his bigger tricks that he didn’t usually do. This one move is hard but very impressive when done right. So he lifted her upside down so they were in a 69 position with him standing up and holding her by the hips. He spun her a few times and then flipped her back onto her feet. He gave her a hug and everyone could see that he suddenly realized that her boobs were hanging out. Her shirt actually had come off halfway through the acrobatics, but she was a trooper. When he finally realized that her top was off, he quickly tried to cover her up with her shirt. The woman grabbed the shirt and threw it out into the crowd while screaming and cheering. She walked off the stage topless and very pleased with herself. Her friends were throwing all kinds of cash on the stage.