Justify Me Google Read online

  He’s taken me this far. I want all of it.

  He hesitates long enough to allow me to protest, and when I don’t, he takes me the rest of the way through. Heads turn as I walk behind him, and while part of me trembles with the excitement of being on display, another part of me wonders if my stalker is in the crowd. If, perhaps, this will push him to move again. And if, just maybe, that by taking this risk I’ve paved the way to catching him.

  When we reach the door to the reception area, Riley pulls me close, then takes my mouth in his. It’s a long, deep, bone-melting kiss, and I press against him, realizing that this is what I’ve been wanting. Craving. And, yes, what I’ve been needing. Not the kiss, but the man. A man I tried to push away, but who was stubborn and pushy enough to—thank God—slide back into my life.

  When he finally breaks the kiss, we’re both breathing hard, and I see my desire reflected back at me. He gently zips up the bodice over the clamps, chuckling at my look of confusion.

  “I meant to take them off of you earlier,” he said. “To be honest, I was so damn turned on by how responsive you were to my hand on your ass, I completely forgot.”

  I bite my lower lip. “Why not just take them off now?” It’s not hurting anymore—more like a pleasurable, intense sensation—but it’s also somewhat awkward under the tight leather bustier.

  But he just shakes his head. “Trust me,” he says. And since I do, I remain quiet.

  When we reach the car, he tells the driver to return to my house, then raises the privacy screen. “You liked that,” he says, and I know he’s talking about the whole experience. The entire night.

  I don’t pretend to misunderstand. “Yes,” I admit.

  “Tell me why.”

  I consider the question. “Because it felt naughty, and I’ve never really been naughty. And it felt safe, because I knew you were protecting me.”

  He gently cups my face. “That’s why I’m here. To protect you.”

  I lick my lips, not sure I should say what’s on my mind.

  He seems to read my thoughts, though, because all he says is, “Tell me.”

  “It’s just that I didn’t mean that you were protecting me from my stalker. I know that’s why we came, but to be honest, I forgot about him most of the time.” I draw in a breath for courage. “I meant that it felt like you were protecting me from the world.”

  I look at him from under my lashes, afraid I’ve admitted too much. But I see only pleasure reflected on his face.

  “That’s all I’ve ever wanted, Natasha. And it kills me to know that most of the time when you look at me, you don’t feel protected. You feel sad or afraid. I don’t like that seeing me reminds you of all the horrible things that are out there in the world.”

  “Riley…” I choke on the emotion that clogs my throat. He’s talking about the night my father died, and he’s right. That’s the burden I’ve forced on him all these years.

  But maybe—just maybe—tonight has helped me move past that.

  “I’m sorry for that,” I say honestly. “But I know you understand how I feel. I know, because you do the same thing.”

  His brows rise. “I don’t think so.”

  “Yes,” I insist. “You do. You see this city and you think only of the bad things. You run from it because it’s stained with all the memories you want to leave behind.”

  His eyes widen almost imperceptibly, and I realize he gets it. And knowing that I’ve given him a new perspective makes me feel powerful. More than that, I want to show him that my perspective on him has changed, too. Not just in the club, but out here in the world. Yes, he reminds me of my father. Yes, he reminds me of that night. But that’s not all there is to Riley Blade, and I see a lot more of him now than just those memories that I’d attached to him in my mind.

  With a playful little smile, I move onto the wide floorboard, then kneel in front of him.

  His brows rise, but he doesn’t say anything.

  I put my hands on his knees. “I like being your submissive,” I say.

  His lips twitch. “Do you?”

  I nod. “But now it’s my turn to take charge.”

  “Is that so?”

  I nod. “You need good memories of this town, Riley.” I glance pointedly at his cock. “I think it’s time I gave you some.”

  Chapter Seven

  Riley was pretty damn sure that he’d never seen anything more erotic than Tasha’s pink tongue licking his rock-hard cock. Good God, the woman surprised him. First in the club, when her combination of open trust and radiant curiosity had almost pushed him over the edge so many times. And now this, when she’d gathered the courage to turn the tables on him in the most delicious way possible—and still managed to be submissive even in the act of taking control.

  She fascinated him. Aroused him.

  Hell, she amazed him.

  He’d been almost certain that she was submissive by nature. Not because she was subservient in her professional life—on the contrary, he’d seen how much control and responsibility she shouldered in her job with Lyle—but because the burden of that responsibility made him believe she’d fall willingly and gracefully into a submissive role.

  She was a woman who needed to let go and give herself over to pleasure in order to learn just how much power she truly had. Because God knew, she held absolute power over Riley. For that matter, he thought, she’d wielded that power for years without ever even knowing it.

  So yes, under the right circumstances he could imagine her collared and leashed in a club. He’d imagined that very thing more times than he’d liked to count.

  What he hadn’t expected was for his theory about her deeper nature to be proven right so quickly and dramatically, and the trust that she had lain at his feet humbled and amazed him.

  And speaking of surprise…

  He groaned, his eyes rolling back as she shifted position, going from licking him like a lollipop to closing her entire mouth on his cock and taking him deep. With one hand, he reached up and pressed against the roof of the car for leverage. With the other, he fisted her hair, stealing some of the control back as she worked his cock, taking him closer and closer to the edge.

  “Touch yourself,” he groaned. “Come on, baby. Slide your fingers between your legs and play with that sweet pussy. I’m so damn close, and I want you to come with me.”

  She made a raw, feral sound, then moved the hand that had been on the seat to give her leverage. He couldn’t see that low, but as her other hand tightened at the base of his shaft, he was certain that she’d obeyed. Her sucking became wilder, filled now with the dual need of giving and taking pleasure. And the wild, animal noises she was making had the effect of pushing him right to the edge.

  He held on, trying to hold back. Wanting her to come with him, but also wanting to hover at the edge for as long as possible. But soon he had no choice, and he let himself go, keeping his eyes open as he shattered, emptying himself in her sweet, sweet mouth. Watching as she took it all, her eyes opening as he finished to reveal a wild heat and something that looked like pride.

  God, he loved her. More than that, he realized, he’d always loved her.

  And now, as she teetered on that precipice, too, he bent forward and unzipped her bustier, then pulled hard on the middle of the chain, tugging both clamps off her nipples.

  She cried out, a throaty moan made up of pleasure and pain as the blood rushed back to her nipples even as her fingers on her clit pushed her that final distance over the edge.

  Her eyes were on him, but he could tell that it wasn’t him she was seeing—it was light, stars, the expanse of the universe. And when he pulled her back up on to the seat beside him, she curled against him, and murmured only two words. “So good.”

  Content, he stroked her hair, letting her doze until they turned onto her street.

  “We’re here,” he said softly, smiling as she blinked up at him.

  “That wasn’t fair, you know. I was supposed to be the one treating
you.”

  “Not fair that we treated each other?”

  “I think you destroyed me,” she murmured. “In the best possible way, of course.”

  “You’re welcome,” he said, making her grin.

  The car pulled into the driveway and the driver killed the engine. She slid down again, her head in his lap. “Can’t we just stay here? Like maybe forever?”

  He was tempted. That was damn sure. “Warm bed, baby,” he said. “And if you’re a very good girl, I’ll make you a cup of cocoa before we go to sleep.”

  She tilted her head, her lips quirking as her brow lifted in mock incredulity. “Are you saying I wasn’t already a good girl?”

  He laughed—oh, yeah. He absolutely adored her.

  As they waited for the driver to come around, Riley looked out the window, then frowned. “Nat,” he said, his eyes on the big blob of orange fur sitting on the front porch. “I thought your cat stayed indoors.”

  “What?” She sprang up, all signs of exhaustion fading. “Pumpkin!”

  She practically leapt over him and had the door open even before the driver reached it. He saw her zip up her bustier and her pants as she ran, then snatch up the cat and hug it close.

  Riley was only steps behind her, and when she moved onto the porch as if to push the cracked front door fully open, he called out sharply for her to wait.

  Her eyes went wide as the implications of her cat being outside and the door being open finally broke through her concern for Pumpkin.

  Riley’s rental car was in the drive, and he hurried to it, then retrieved the small Ruger he’d borrowed from Hunter from the glove box. He knew he couldn’t take it into the club, so he hadn’t even tried. But he was damn well keeping the thing on his person from now on.

  With the gun at the ready, he returned through the door, then peered inside the house through the crack. The interior mat had been shifted onto the threshold, ensuring that the door couldn’t close properly. More important, a chalkboard topped the mat. A simple one like the kind found in craft stores.

  One word was neatly printed on it in pink chalk: CHEATER

  Chapter Eight

  I sit on my couch, a soft blanket wrapped around me, both for warmth and to hide the leather bustier from the gaggle of cops who have descended on my house. Not that I begrudge them being there—I want them to do whatever they can to find the asshole who’s toying with me.

  Riley has taken charge, and even though this is my house and I’m more than capable of watching out for it and myself, I let him. The truth is, I’m exhausted and I’m scared. It was one thing getting creepy notes. It’s something else altogether to have someone inside my house. Someone who may or may not have intentionally put my cat out. My sweet Pumpkin who never harmed anyone and is far too pampered a kitty now to survive on LA’s dangerous busy streets.

  Fuck with me, and it may take me a while to get my ire up.

  Fuck with my cat, and you’re dead meat from the get-go.

  After what seems like forever, most of the cops are gone, and Riley comes to me, then pulls me to my feet. “Why don’t you go wait for me in the bedroom? I think I saw Pumpkin run and hide in there, and she probably needs you.”

  “Maybe I need you,” I say, then hate myself for sounding scared and needy.

  Riley just kisses the corner of my mouth. “I’ll be right here. But I want to finish up with Detective Garrison and check the work on the new locks. Stay if you want. I just thought you might like to get away from the insanity.”

  I nod. The truth is, he’s right. “Thanks for taking care of this.”

  “I think we had this conversation earlier,” he reminds me. “As long as you let me, I’ll always take care of you. And frankly, I’ll do it even if you protest.”

  The last part earns him a smile, even though we both know he’s not joking. And I think it’s that last little reminder of how much he cares that gives me the strength to leave him in charge of my domain and escape into the safety of my bedroom.

  I’m not sure how long I’m in there, sitting on the edge of the bed petting Pumpkin before Riley comes back. All I do know is that when the door finally clicks open, the cat scrambles off my lap and races under the bed, only the orange tip of her tail showing.

  “She going to be okay?”

  Despite everything, I laugh. For over an hour, he’s been overseeing the cops and the locksmith, doing everything in his power to make me feel safe and secure in my own house. Now, he’s standing in the doorway wearing leather, his broad shoulders filling the frame, looking so damn tough he could be an action hero.

  And what is he concerned about? The mental health and well-being of my cat.

  “What?” he asks as my laughter ratchets up a notch.

  “You,” I say, smiling so wide it hurts. “Just…thank you.”

  He crosses to me, then sits on the bed and pulls me into his lap. “For what?”

  I snuggle close, both content and amazed at how right it feels to be in his arms. “For taking care of me. For watching out for me. For tonight.”

  “Tonight,” he repeats.

  I nod, then shift on his lap so that I’m straddling him. “Every single thing about tonight,” I say huskily as his cock stiffens beneath me. “Except the part where we got off track.”

  “Off track,” he says, and I hear a welcome note of humor in his voice. “That’s one way of putting it.” He traces a finger over my collarbone and then lower over the swell of my breast. “I seem to recall we had very specific plans for when we reached your house tonight.”

  “Did we?” I tease as he unzips my bustier, then tosses it onto the floor.

  “I seem to recall promising some very specific things,” he continues, reaching back to unzip my pants. “Like, for example, fucking you senseless.”

  “Oh,” I say, my tender nipples tightening again, the sensation wildly enticing.

  “It’s ridiculously late,” he says, gently sliding me off his lap so that I’m standing in front of him. “But I have to have you. Tell me if you want me to stop,” he adds as he falls to his knees and peels the pants and my thong down my legs. “Because, baby, right now I can’t think about anything else but being inside you,” he says, then licks my very sensitive pussy, sending a current of electricity racing through me.

  “Riley…” It’s the only word I conjure, but it’s enough. My feet are already bare, and I kick out of the last of the leather pants as he leads me back to the bed, then lays me out naked.

  He stands beside me, then shrugs off the black leather vest and lets it fall to the ground. I swallow, wondering if I’ll ever get used to the beauty of this man. The strength and power he exudes.

  Wondering if I’ll ever stop craving him and knowing that I won’t. Hell, that I don’t want to.

  For so long, I’d denied myself this man, and now I can barely remember why. He’s blown through my defenses in record time and settled himself firmly in the Riley-shaped place in my heart that’s been waiting for him for years.

  He meets my eyes, his grin crooked and cocky, as if he knows what I’m thinking. As if he understands how much I want him. All of him.

  Then his hand goes to his fly, and I actually whimper. After everything we’ve done together, I realize with surprise that I haven’t actually seen him naked. And I hold my breath as he pulls the leather down. Since he’s gone commando, his cock springs free, hard and thick and huge.

  Without thinking, I reach for him, but he just steps away from my fingers, his grin suggesting that he knows he’s tormenting me.

  I expect him to get onto the bed, but first he grabs up the vest. I see him reach into a slim pocket on the inside, and then toss something onto the bedside table. I glance over and see a packet of condoms. “Boy Scout,” he says, making me laugh.

  Then he gets onto the bed and straddles me. It’s almost three in the morning, and I’ve been through a lot, but the moment his skin touches mine, all traces of exhaustion leave me, overcome by the shee
r power of this man.

  “I want to hold you,” he tells me. “I want to fall asleep with you in my arms. But first, I have to be inside you.”

  “Yes,” I whisper. “Oh, dear God, yes.”

  We move together, slow and easy. Fingers touching. Mouths teasing. Our bodies fit perfectly, and he takes me on my back, my knees bent up to my chest so that he can go deep, his rhythmic thrusts filling me and making the bed shake with the motion. His body covers me, and his cock fills me, and as we move together, I lose my sense of self. We’re one, a unit, and I can’t tell where he begins and I end. Even when he starts to come, I feel the ripples of his release break through me, taking me over the edge as well.

  And when he calls out, his voice a raw, guttural groan, for me to go over with him, I break apart, my body answering his command without question, shattering with him, and then coming back together in his arms.

  We stay like that, him on top of me, looking into each other’s eyes for what feels like an eternity. They say that the eyes are the windows to the soul, and I believe it. Because as I look deep into Riley’s dark eyes, I know that I’m seeing the full measure of the man. More than that, I know that I love him. I think I always have.

  What I don’t know is if he feels the same way. Or, if he does, how we can possibly make this work.

  Those same thoughts swirl in my head as we spoon together, my back to his chest, as sleep creeps up on us.

  I, however, fight it back. It’s not sleep I want. It’s Riley. It’s a future. And to get there, we have to reconcile the past.

  I take a deep breath, then exhale, hoping he hasn’t drifted off already. “About before,” I say. “The years before, not earlier today.”

  “Yes?” His voice is tired, but I know I have his attention.

  “It’s not just that seeing you made me remember my father. That’s not the only reason I pushed you away.”

  “Wasn’t it?”

  “No. It’s that I didn’t think that I could stand the strain of knowing I might lose you at any minute the same way I lost him.” My voice is tight with emotion, and I exhale noisily. “But it doesn’t matter anyway, does it? Because you don’t like this city. And once you catch my stalker, you’re going to leave. Aren’t you?”