Jackanapes Read online

  CHAPTER III.

  ... If studious, copie fair what time hath blurred, Redeem truth from his jawes; if souldier, Chase brave employments with a naked sword Throughout the world. Fool not; for all may have, If they dare try, a glorious life, or grave.

  * * * * *

  In brief, acquit thee bravely: play the man. Look not on pleasures as they come, but go. Defer not the least vertue: life's poore span Make not an ell, by trifling in thy woe. If thou do ill, the joy fades, not the pains. If well, the pain doth fade, the joy remains.

  GEORGE HERBERT.

  Young Mrs. Johnson, who was a mother of many, hardly knew which topity more; Miss Jessamine for having her little ways and herantimacassars rumpled by a young Jackanapes; or the boy himself, forbeing brought up by an old maid.

  Oddly enough, she would probably have pitied neither, had Jackanapesbeen a girl. (One is so apt to think that what works smoothest worksto the highest ends, having no patience for the results of friction.)That Father in GOD, who bade the young men to be pure, and the maidensbrave, greatly disturbed a member of his congregation, who thoughtthat the great preacher had made a slip of the tongue.

  "That the girls should have purity, and the boys courage, is what youwould say, good Father?"

  "Nature has done that," was the reply; "I meant what I said."

  In good sooth, a young maid is all the better for learning somerobuster virtues than maidenliness and not to move the antimacassars.And the robuster virtues require some fresh air and freedom. As, onthe other hand, Jackanapes (who had a boy's full share of the littlebeast and the young monkey in his natural composition) was none theworse, at his tender years, for learning some maidenliness--so far asmaidenliness means decency, pity, unselfishness and pretty behavior.

  And it is due to him to say that he was an obedient boy, and a boywhose word could be depended on, long before his grandfather theGeneral came to live at the Green.

  He was obedient; that is he did what his great aunt told him. But--ohdear! oh dear!--the pranks he played, which it had never entered intoher head to forbid!

  It was when he had just been put into skeletons (frocks never suitedhim) that he became very friendly with Master Tony Johnson, a youngerbrother of the young gentleman who sat in the puddle on purpose. Tonywas not enterprising, and Jackanapes led him by the nose. One summer'sevening they were out late, and Miss Jessamine was becoming anxious,when Jackanapes presented himself with a ghastly face all besmirchedwith tears. He was unusually subdued.

  "I'm afraid," he sobbed; "if you please, I'm very much afraid thatTony Johnson's dying in the churchyard."

  Miss Jessamine was just beginning to be distracted, when she smeltJackanapes.

  "You naughty, naughty boys! Do you mean to tell me that you've beensmoking?"

  "Not pipes," urged Jackanapes; "upon my honor, Aunty, not pipes. Onlysegars like Mr. Johnson's! and only made of brown paper with a very,very little tobacco from the shop inside them."

  Whereupon, Miss Jessamine sent a servant to the churchyard, who foundTony Johnson lying on a tomb-stone, very sick, and having ceased toentertain any hopes of his own recovery.

  If it could be possible that any "unpleasantness" could arise betweentwo such amiable neighbors as Miss Jessamine and Mrs. Johnson--and ifthe still more incredible paradox can be that ladies may differ over apoint on which they are agreed--that point was the admitted fact thatTony Johnson was "delicate," and the difference lay chiefly in this:Mrs. Johnson said that Tony was delicate--meaning that he was morefinely strung, more sensitive, a properer subject for pampering andpetting than Jackanapes, and that, consequently, Jackanapes was toblame for leading Tony into scrapes which resulted in his beingchilled, frightened, or (most frequently) sick. But when MissJessamine said that Tony Johnson was delicate, she meant that he wasmore puling, less manly, and less healthily brought up thanJackanapes, who, when they got into mischief together, was certainlynot to blame because his friend could not get wet, sit a kickingdonkey, ride in the giddy-go-round, bear the noise of a cracker, orsmoke brown paper with impunity, as he could.

  Not that there was ever the slightest quarrel between the ladies. Itnever even came near it, except the day after Tony had been so verysick with riding Bucephalus in the giddy-go-round. Mrs. Johnson hadexplained to Miss Jessamine that the reason Tony was so easily upset,was the unusual sensitiveness (as a doctor had explained it to her) ofthe nervous centres in her family--"Fiddlestick!" So Mrs. Johnsonunderstood Miss Jessamine to say, but it appeared that she only said"Treaclestick!" which is quite another thing, and of which Tony wasundoubtedly fond.

  It was at the fair that Tony was made ill by riding on Bucephalus.Once a year the Goose Green became the scene of a carnival. First ofall, carts and caravans were rumbling up all along, day and night.Jackanapes could hear them as he lay in bed, and could hardly sleepfor speculating what booths and whirligigs he should find fairlyestablished, when he and his dog Spitfire went out after breakfast. Asa matter of fact, he seldom had to wait long for news of the Fair. ThePostman knew the window out of which Jackanapes' yellow head wouldcome, and was ready with his report.

  "Royal Theayter, Master Jackanapes, in the old place, but be carefulo' them seats, sir; they're rickettier than ever. Two sweets and aginger-beer under the oak tree, and the Flying Boats is just a-comingalong the road."

  No doubt it was partly because he had already suffered severely in theFlying Boats, that Tony collapsed so quickly in the giddy-go-round. Heonly mounted Bucephalus (who was spotted, and had no tail) becauseJackanapes urged him, and held out the ingenious hope that theround-and-round feeling would very likely cure the up-and-downsensation. It did not, however, and Tony tumbled off during the firstrevolution.

  Jackanapes was not absolutely free from qualms, but having oncemounted the Black Prince he stuck to him as a horseman should. Duringthe first round he waved his hat, and observed with some concern thatthe Black Prince had lost an ear since last Fair; at the second, helooked a little pale but sat upright, though somewhat unnecessarilyrigid; at the third round he shut his eyes. During the fourth his hatfell off, and he clasped his horse's neck. By the fifth he had laidhis yellow head against the Black Prince's mane, and so clung anyhowtill the hobby-horses stopped, when the proprietor assisted him toalight, and he sat down rather suddenly and said he had enjoyed itvery much.

  The Grey Goose always ran away at the first approach of the caravans,and never came back to the Green till there was nothing left of theFair but footmarks and oyster-shells. Running away was her petprinciple; the only system, she maintained, by which you can live longand easily, and lose nothing. If you run away when you see danger, youcan come back when all is safe. Run quickly, return slowly, hold yourhead high, and gabble as loud as you can, and you'll preserve therespect of the Goose Green to a peaceful old age. Why should youstruggle and get hurt, if you can lower your head and swerve, and notlose a feather? Why in the world should any one spoil the pleasure oflife, or risk his skin, if he can help it?

  "'What's the use' Said the Goose."

  Before answering which one might have to consider what world--whichlife--whether his skin were a goose-skin; but the Grey Goose's headwould never have held all that.

  Grass soon grows over footprints, and the village children took theoyster-shells to trim their gardens with; but the year after Tony rodeBucephalus there lingered another relic of Fairtime, in whichJackanapes was deeply interested. "The Green" proper was originallyonly part of a straggling common, which in its turn merged into somewilder waste land where gipsies sometimes squatted if the authoritieswould allow them, especially after the annual Fair. And it was afterthe Fair that Jackanapes, out rambling by himself, was knocked over bythe Gipsy's son riding the Gipsy's red-haired pony at break-neck paceacross the common.

  Jackanapes got up and shook himself, none the worse, except for beingheels over head in love with the red-haired pony. What a rate he wentat! How he spurned th
e ground with his nimble feet! How his red coatshone in the sunshine! And what bright eyes peeped out of his darkforelock as it was blown by the wind!

  The Gipsy boy had had a fright, and he was willing enough to rewardJackanapes for not having been hurt, by consenting to let him have aride.

  "Do you mean to kill the little fine gentleman, and swing us all onthe gibbet, you rascal?" screamed the Gipsy-mother, who came up justas Jackanapes and the pony set off.

  "He would get on," replied her son. "It'll not kill him. He'll fall onhis yellow head, and it's as tough as a cocoanut."

  But Jackanapes did not fall. He stuck to the red-haired pony as he hadstuck to the hobbyhorse; but oh, how different the delight of thiswild gallop with flesh and blood! Just as his legs were beginning tofeel as if he did not feel them, the Gipsy boy cried "Lollo!" Roundwent the pony so unceremoniously, that, with as little ceremony,Jackanapes clung to his neck, and he did not properly recover himselfbefore Lollo stopped with a jerk at the place where they had started.

  "Is his name Lollo?" asked Jackanapes, his hand lingering in the wirymane.

  "Yes."

  "What does Lollo mean?"

  "Red."

  "Is Lollo your pony?"

  "No. My father's." And the Gipsy boy led Lollo away.

  At the first opportunity Jackanapes stole away again to the common.This time he saw the Gipsy-father, smoking a dirty pipe.

  "Lollo is your pony, isn't he?" said Jackanapes.

  "Yes."

  "He's a very nice one."

  "He's a racer."

  "You don't want to sell him, do you?"

  "Fifteen pounds," said the Gipsy-father; and Jackanapes sighed andwent home again. That very afternoon he and Tony rode the two donkeys,and Tony managed to get thrown, and even Jackanapes' donkey kicked.But it was jolting, clumsy work after the elastic swiftness and thedainty mischief of the red-haired pony.

  A few days later Miss Jessamine spoke very seriously to Jackanapes.She was a good deal agitated as she told him that his grandfather, theGeneral, was coming to the Green, and that he must be on his very bestbehavior during the visit. If it had been feasible to leave offcalling him Jackanapes and to get used to his baptismal name ofTheodore before the day after to-morrow (when the General was due), itwould have been satisfactory. But Miss Jessamine feared it would beimpossible in practice, and she had scruples about it on principle. Itwould not seem quite truthful, although she had always most fullyintended that he should be called Theodore when he had outgrown theridiculous appropriateness of his nickname. The fact was that he hadnot outgrown it, but he must take care to remember who was meant whenhis grandfather said Theodore.

  Indeed for that matter he must take care all along.

  "You are apt to be giddy, Jackanapes," said Miss Jessamine.

  "Yes aunt," said Jackanapes, thinking of the hobby-horses.

  "You are a good boy, Jackanapes. Thank GOD, I can tell yourgrandfather that. An obedient boy, an honorable boy, and akind-hearted boy. But you are--in short, you _are_ a Boy, Jackanapes.And I hope,"--added Miss Jessamine, desperate with the results ofexperience--"that the General knows that Boys will be Boys."

  What mischief could be foreseen, Jackanapes promised to guard against.He was to keep his clothes and his hands clean, to look over hiscatechism, not to put sticky things in his pockets, to keep that hairof his smooth--("It's the wind that blows it, Aunty," saidJackanapes--"I'll send by the coach for some bear's-grease," said MissJessamine, tying a knot in her pocket-handkerchief)--not to burst inat the parlor door, not to talk at the top of his voice, not tocrumple his Sunday frill, and to sit quite quiet during the sermon, tobe sure to say "sir" to the General, to be careful about rubbing hisshoes on the doormat, and to bring his lesson-books to his aunt atonce that she might iron down the dogs' ears. The General arrived, andfor the first day all went well, except that Jackanapes' hair was aswild as usual, for the hair-dresser had no bear's-grease left. Hebegan to feel more at ease with his grandfather, and disposed to talkconfidentially with him, as he did with the Postman. All that theGeneral felt it would take too long to tell, but the result was thesame. He was disposed to talk confidentially with Jackanapes.

  "Mons'ous pretty place this," he said, looking out of the lattice onto the Green, where the grass was vivid with sunset, and the shadowswere long and peaceful.

  "You should see it in Fair-week, sir," said Jackanapes, shaking hisyellow mop, and leaning back in his one of the two Chippendalearm-chairs in which they sat.

  "A fine time that, eh?" said the General, with a twinkle in his lefteye. (The other was glass.)

  Jackanapes shook his hair once more. "I enjoyed this last one the bestof all," he said. "I'd so much money."

  "By George, it's not a common complaint in these bad times. How muchhad ye?"

  "I'd two shillings. A new shilling Aunty gave me, and elevenpence Ihad saved up, and a penny from the Postman--_sir_!" added Jackanapeswith a jerk, having forgotten it.

  "And how did ye spend it--_sir_?" inquired the General. Jackanapesspread his ten fingers on the arms of his chair, and shut his eyesthat he might count the more conscientiously.

  "Watch-stand for Aunty, threepence. Trumpet for myself, twopence,that's fivepence. Ginger-nuts for Tony, twopence, and a mug with aGrenadier on for the Postman, fourpence, that's elevenpence.Shooting-gallery a penny, that's a shilling. Giddy-go-round, a penny,that's one and a penny. Treating Tony, one and twopence. Flying Boats(Tony paid for himself), a penny, one and threepence. Shooting-galleryagain, one and fourpence; Fat Woman a penny, one and fivepence.Giddy-go-round again, one and sixpence. Shooting-gallery, one andsevenpence. Treating Tony, and then he wouldn't shoot, so I did, oneand eightpence. Living Skeleton, a penny--no, Tony treated me, theLiving Skeleton doesn't count. Skittles, a penny, one and ninepence.Mermaid (but when we got inside she was dead), a penny, one andtenpence. Theatre, a penny (Priscilla Partington, or the Green LaneMurder. A beautiful young lady, sir, with pink cheeks and a realpistol), that's one and elevenpence. Ginger beer, a penny (I _was_ sothirsty!) two shillings. And then the Shooting-gallery man gave me aturn for nothing, because, he said, I was a real gentleman, and spentmy money like a man."

  "So you do, sir, so you do!" cried the General. "Why, sir, you spendit like a prince.--And now I suppose you've not got a penny in yourpocket?"

  "Yes I have," said Jackanapes. "Two pennies. They are saving up." AndJackanapes jingled them with his hand.

  "You don't want money except at fair-times, I suppose?" said theGeneral.

  Jackanapes shook his mop.

  "If I could have as much as I want, I should know what to buy," saidhe.

  "And how much do you want, if you could get it?"

  "Wait a minute, sir, till I think what twopence from fifteen poundsleaves. Two from nothing you can't, but borrow twelve. Two fromtwelve, ten, and carry one. Please remember ten, sir, when I ask you.One from nothing you can't, borrow twenty. One from twenty, nineteen,and carry one. One from fifteen, fourteen. Fourteen pounds nineteenand--what did I tell you to remember?"

  "Ten," said the General.

  "Fourteen pounds nineteen shillings and tenpence then, is what Iwant," said Jackanapes.

  "Bless my soul, what for?"

  "To buy Lollo with. Lollo means red, sir. The Gipsy's red-haired pony,sir. Oh, he is beautiful! You should see his coat in the sunshine! Youshould see his mane! You should see his tail! Such little feet, sir,and they go like lightning! Such a dear face, too, and eyes like amouse! But he's a racer, and the Gipsy wants fifteen pounds for him."

  "If he's a racer, you couldn't ride him. Could you?"

  "No--o, sir, but I can stick to him. I did the other day."

  "You did, did you? Well, I'm fond of riding myself, and if the beastis as good as you say, he might suit me."

  "You're too tall for Lollo, I think," said Jackanapes, measuring hisgrandfather with his eye.

  "I can double up my legs, I suppose. We'll have a look at himto-morrow."

  "
Don't you weigh a good deal?" asked Jackanapes.

  "Chiefly waistcoats," said the General, slapping the breast of hismilitary frock-coat. "We'll have the little racer on the Green thefirst thing in the morning. Glad you mentioned it, grandson. Glad youmentioned it."

  The General was as good as his word. Next morning the Gipsy and Lollo,Miss Jessamine, Jackanapes and his grandfather and his dog Spitfire,were all gathered at one end of the Green in a group, which so arousedthe innocent curiosity of Mrs. Johnson, as she saw it from one of herupper windows, that she and the children took their early promenaderather earlier than usual. The General talked to the Gipsy, andJackanapes fondled Lollo's mane, and did not know whether he should bemore glad or miserable if his grandfather bought him.

  "Jackanapes!"

  "Yes, sir!"

  "I've bought Lollo, but I believe you were right. He hardly standshigh enough for me. If you can ride him to the other end of the Green,I'll give him to you."

  How Jackanapes tumbled on to Lollo's back he never knew. He had justgathered up the reins when the Gipsy-father took him by the arm.

  "If you want to make Lollo go fast, my little gentleman--"

  "_I_ can make him go!" said Jackanapes, and drawing from his pocketthe trumpet he had bought in the fair, he blew a blast both loud andshrill.

  Away went Lollo, and away went Jackanapes' hat. His golden hair flewout an aureole from which his cheeks shone red and distended withtrumpeting. Away went Spitfire, mad with the rapture of the race, andthe wind in his silky ears. Away went the geese, the cocks, the hens,and the whole family of Johnson. Lucy clung to her mamma, Jane savedEmily by the gathers of her gown, and Tony saved himself by asomersault.

  The Grey Goose was just returning when Jackanapes and Lollo rode back,Spitfire panting behind.

  "Good, my little gentleman, good!" said the Gipsy. "You were born tothe saddle. You've the flat thigh, the strong knee, the wiry back,and the light caressing hand, all you want is to learn the whisper.Come here!"

  "What was that dirty fellow talking about, grandson?" asked theGeneral.

  "I can't tell you, sir. It's a secret."

  They were sitting in the window again, in the two Chippendalearm-chairs, the General devouring every line of his grandson's face,with strange spasms crossing his own.

  "You must love your aunt very much, Jackanapes?"

  "I do, sir," said Jackanapes warmly.

  "And whom do you love next best to your aunt?"

  The ties of blood were pressing very strongly on the General himself,and perhaps he thought of Lollo. But Love is not bought in a day, evenwith fourteen pounds nineteen shillings and tenpence. Jackanapesanswered quite readily, "The Postman."

  "Why the Postman?"

  "He knew my father," said Jackanapes, "and he tells me about him, andabout his black mare. My father was a soldier, a brave soldier. Hedied at Waterloo. When I grow up I want to be a soldier too."

  "So you shall, my boy. So you shall."

  "Thank you, grandfather. Aunty doesn't want me to be a soldier forfear of being killed."

  "Bless my life! Would she have you get into a feather-bed and staythere? Why, you might be killed by a thunderbolt, if you were abutter-merchant!"

  "So I might. I shall tell her so. What a funny fellow you are, sir! Isay, do you think my father knew the Gipsy's secret? The Postman sayshe used to whisper to his black mare."

  "Your father was taught to ride as a child, by one of those horsemenof the East who swoop and dart and wheel about a plain like swallowsin autumn. Grandson! Love me a little too. I can tell you more aboutyour father than the Postman can."

  "I do love you," said Jackanapes. "Before you came I was frightened.I'd no notion you were so nice."

  "Love me always, boy, whatever I do or leave undone. And--GOD helpme--whatever you do or leave undone, I'll love you! There shall never bea cloud between us for a day; no, sir, not for an hour. We're imperfectenough, all of us, we needn't be so bitter; and life is uncertain enoughat its safest, we needn't waste its opportunities. Look at me! Here sitI, after a dozen battles and some of the worst climates in the world,and by yonder lych gate lies your mother, who didn't move five miles, Isuppose, from your aunt's apron-strings,--dead in her teens; mygolden-haired daughter, whom I never saw."

  Jackanapes was terribly troubled.

  "Don't cry, grandfather," he pleaded, his own blue eyes round withtears. "I will love you very much, and I will try to be very good. ButI should like to be a soldier."

  "You shall, my boy, you shall. You've more claims for a commissionthan you know of. Cavalry, I suppose; eh, ye young Jackanapes? Well,well; if you live to be an honor to your country, this old-heartshall grow young again with pride for you; and if you die in theservice of your country--GOD bless me, it can but break for ye!"

  And beating the region which he said was all waistcoats, as if theystifled him, the old man got up and strode out on to the Green.