Brothers of Pity and Other Tales of Beasts and Men Read online

  TINY'S TRICKS AND TOBY'S TRICKS.

  TINY.

  "Oh Toby, my dear old Toby, you portly and princely Pug!

  "You know it's bad for you to lie in the fender:--Father says that'swhat makes you so fat--and I want you to come and sit with me on theKurdistan rug.

  "Put your lovely black nose in my lap, and I'll count your great velvetwrinkles, and comfort you with kisses.

  "If you'll only keep out of the fender--Father says you'll have a fit ifyou don't!--and give good advice to your poor Little Missis.

  "Father says you are the wisest creature he knows, and you are but eightyears old, and three months ago I was six.

  "And yet Mother says I'm the silliest little girl that she ever metwith, because I am always picking up tricks.

  "She does not know where I learnt to stand on one leg (unless it wasfrom a goose), but it has made one of my shoulders stick out more thanthe other.

  "It wasn't the goose who taught me to whistle up and down-stairs. Ilearnt that last holidays from my brother.

  "The baker's man taught me to put my tongue in my cheek when I'm writingcopies, for I saw him do it when he was receipting a bill.

  "And I learnt to wrinkle my forehead, and squeeze up my eyes, and makefaces with my lips by imitating the strange doctor who attended us whenwe were ill.

  "It was Brother Jack himself who showed me that the way to squint is tolook at both sides of your nose.

  "And then, Toby--would you believe it?--he turned round last holidaysand said--'Look here, Tiny, if the wind changes when you're making thatface it'll stay there, and remember you can't squint properly and keepyour eye on the weathercock at the same time to see how it blows.'

  "But boys are so mean!--and I catch stammering from his schoolfriend--'_Tut-tut-tut-tut-Tom_,' as we call him--but I soon leave it offwhen he goes.

  "I did not learn stooping and poking out my chin from any one; it cameof itself. It is so hard to sit up; but Mother says that much my worsttrick

  "Is biting my finger nails; and I've bitten them nearly all down to thequick.

  "She says if I don't lose these tricks, and leave off learning freshones, I shall never grow up like our pretty great-great-grandmamma.

  "Do you know her, dear Toby? I don't think you do. I don't think youever look at pictures, intelligent as you are!

  "It's the big portrait, by Romney, of a beautiful lady, sittingbeautifully up, with her beautiful hands lying in her lap.

  "Looking over her shoulder, out of lovely eyes, with a sweet smile onher lips, in the old brocade Mother keeps in the chest, and a prettylace cap.

  "I should very much like to be like her when I grow up to that age;Mother says she was twenty-six.

  "And of course I know she would not have looked so nice in her pictureif she'd squinted, and wrinkled her forehead, and had one shoulder out,and her tongue in her cheek, and a round back, and her chin poked, andher fingers all swollen with biting;--but, oh, Toby, you clever Pug! howam I to get rid of my tricks?

  "That is, if I must give them up; but it seems so hard to get intodisgrace

  "For doing what comes natural to one, with one's own eyes, and legs, andfingers, and face."

  TOBY.

  "Remove your arms from my neck, Little Missis--I feel unusuallyapoplectic--and let me take two or three turns on the rug,

  "Whilst I turn the matter over in my mind, for never was there sopuzzled a Pug!

  "I am, as your respected Father truly observes, a most talentedcreature.

  "And as to fit subjects for family portraits and personalappearance--from the top of my massive brow to the tip of my curlytail, I believe myself to be perfect in every feature.

  "And when my ears are just joined over my forehead like a black velvetcap, I'm reckoned the living likeness of a late eminent divine and oncepopular preacher.

  "Did your great-great-grandmamma ever take a prize at a show? But letthat pass--the real question is this:

  "How is it that what I am most highly commended for, should in yourcase be taken amiss?

  "Why am I reckoned the best and cleverest of dogs? Because I've pickedup tricks so quickly ever since I was a pup.

  "And if I couldn't wrinkle my forehead and poke out my chin, and grimaceat the judges, do you suppose I should ever have been--Class Pug. FirstPrize--Champion and Gold Cup?

  "We have one thing in common--I do _not_ find it easy to sit up.

  "But I learned it, and so will you. I can't imagine worse manners thanto put one's tongue in one's cheek; as a rule, I hang mine gracefullyout on one side.

  "And I've no doubt it's a mistake to gnaw your fingers. I gnawed a gooddeal in my puppyhood, but chewing my paws is a trick that I never tried.

  "How you stand on one leg I cannot imagine; with my figure it's all Ican do to stand upon four.

  "I balance biscuit on my nose. Do you? I jump through a hoop (anatrocious trick, my dear, after one's first youth--and a full meal!)--Ibark three cheers for the Queen, and I shut the dining-room door.

  "I lie flat on the floor at the word of command--In short, I've as manytricks as you have, and every one of them counts to my credit;

  "Whilst yours--so you say--only bring you into disgrace, which I couldnot have thought possible if you had not said it.

  "Indeed--but for the length of my experience and the solidity of myjudgment--this would tempt me to think your mamma a very foolish person,and to advise you to disobey her; but I do _not_, Little Missis, for Iknow

  "That if you belong to good and kind people, it is well to let themtrain you up in the way in which they think you should go.

  "Your excellent parents trained me to tricks; and very senseless some ofthem seemed, I must say:

  "But I've lived to be proud of what I've been taught; and glad too thatI learned to obey.

  "For, depend upon it, if you never do as you're told till you know thereason why, or till you find that you must;

  "You are much less of a Prize Pug than you might have been if you'dtaken good government on trust."

  * * * * *

  "Take me back to your arms, Little Missis, I feel cooler, and calmer inmy mind.

  "Yes, there can be no doubt about it. You must do what your mothertells you, for you know that she's wise and kind.

  "You must take as much pains to _lose your_ tricks as I took to _learnmine_, long ago;

  "And we may all live to see you yet--'Class, Young Lady. First Prize.Gold Medal--of a Show.'"

  TINY.

  "Oh, Toby, my dear old Toby, you wise and wonderful Pug!

  "Don't struggle off yet, stay on my knee for a bit, you'll be muchhotter in the fender, and I want to give you a great, big hug.

  "What are you turning round and round for? you'll make yourself giddy,Toby. If you're looking for your tail, it is there, all right.

  "You can't see it for yourself because you're so fat, and because it iscurled so tight.

  "I dare say you could play with it, like Kitty, when you were a pup, butit must be a long time now since you've seen it.

  "It's rather rude of you, Mr. Pug, to lie down with your back to me, anda grunt, but I know you don't mean it.

  "I wanted to hug you, Toby, because I do thank you for giving me suchgood advice, and I know every word of it's true.

  "I mean to try hard to follow it, and I'll tell you what I shall do.

  "Nurse wants to put bitter stuff on the tips of my fingers, to cure meof biting them, and now I think I shall let her.

  "I know they're not fit to be seen, but she says they would soon becomebetter.

  "I mean to keep my hands behind my back a good deal till they're well,and to hold my head up, and turn out my toes; and every time I give wayto one of my tricks, I shall go and stand (_on both legs_) before thepicture, and confess it to great-great-grandmamma.

  "Just fancy if I've no tricks left this time next year, Toby! Won't thatshow how clever we are?

  "I for trying so hard to do what I'm told, and you
for being so wisethat people will say--'That sensible pug cured that silly little girlwhen not even her mother could mend her.'

  "--Ah! Bad Dog! Where are you slinking off to?--Oh, Toby, darling! do,_do_ take a little of your own good advice, and try to cure yourself oflying in the fender!"

  THE OWL IN THE IVY BUSH]

  THE OWL IN THE IVY BUSH;

  OR,

  THE CHILDREN'S BIRD OF WISDOM.