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  • Birds and other wildlife found on golf courses are generally protected by law. Never use a golf club as a weapon against them.

  • Do not assume it is safe to approach a nest just because no adult bird is in sight; eggs demand careful temperature regulation and adults are generally close by. Wild birds nest—and eggs hatch—during the spring, so be particularly careful when golfing at this time.

  • While golfing in Australia, beware the cassowary. These flightless, ostrich-size birds may attack small humans when hungry.

  HOW TO SURVIVE IF YOU HIT A BEEHIVE

  1 Get ready to act as soon as you realize that you have hit a hive.

  Striking a hive or nest with a ball or club will likely provoke a strong defensive response from the bees.

  2 Do not swat.

  Never swat at honeybees or wasps. Swatting may incite them to sting when they otherwise had no intention of doing so.

  3 Run from the nest.

  Bees and wasps can fly faster than you can run. However, the farther you get from the nest, the less likely they will be to follow you. When you are stung by a bee or wasp, you are marked with an alarm pheromone and other bees and wasps will continue the attack in response to the chemical. The intensity of the attack will continue to increase if you do not continue fleeing the hive area. Extremely defensive colonies may pursue you for half a mile.

  4 Cover your face and head with your shirt or jacket.

  Bees and wasps usually focus their attack on the head and face. While running, pull your shirt or jacket up over your head, leaving only a small slit to see where you are going. A honeybee will lose its stinger and die once it stings, but a wasp can sting multiple times.

  5 Run for cover.

  Find the nearest enclosure: a car with the windows rolled up or a building are both good options.

  6 Do not jump into water.

  The bees will orient to your air bubbles on the surface and will remain there, stinging you each time you come up for air.

  IF YOU ARE STUNG

  • When you reach safety, quickly remove all the stingers by scraping them out with your fingernails, a credit card, or whatever is handy. Use a sideways motion; do not pinch the area. Seek medical attention if you have multiple stings.

  HOW TO AVOID BEING STUNG

  • Do not wear body fragrances such as scented creams, perfumes, and after-shave lotions. They may attract bees, and may incite an attack.

  • Do not blow at or near a hive; bee and some wasp colonies react defensively to mammalian breath.

  • Look for head-butting. Extremely defensive honey bee colonies will have a few bees patrolling the immediate vicinity of the nest. When approached they will begin to head-butt you in an effort to encourage you to leave. If this occurs, leave the area immediately.

  Be Aware

  • Honeybee colonies are commonly located in dark cavities in buildings, water valve boxes, and utility equipment, as well as in ground holes and cavities in trees. Usually the small entrance hole is all that is visible.

  • Honeybee colonies are perennial, while wasp colonies develop in the spring and die in the fall. Both wasp and bee colonies reach their population zenith during the summer months.

  • Vibrations from a golf cart may elicit a defensive reaction from the hive or nest.

  • A swarm of honeybees may settle on a tree branch or on the overhang of a structure. These bees are looking for a new home, and such swarms are not usually defensive.

  • Wasp colonies are usually much smaller than those of bees, and their paper nests are often exposed, leaving them more easily disturbed. Some wasp species build large enclosed nests that hang from tree branches.

  HOW TO DISARM AN IRATE GOLFER

  1 Determine the level of danger.

  If a golfer is waving a club around angrily or drunkenly, or is exhibiting undue hostility, it may be necessary to act quickly to restore order and safety.

  2 Try to talk him down.

  Speak calmly, keeping your tone even and your voice low. Do not make sudden gestures or movements. Remind him that it’s only a game. Tell him to take a few deep breaths.

  3 If he threathens to strike, quickly move into the center of the potential swing.

  As he draws the club back to swing at you, approach him at an angle that will bring you to the center of the club. Try to remain close to his body. You are much more likely to be injured by the outer end of the club.

  4 Grab the club.

  At the top of his swing, or just as the club starts to descend, step close to him and, using one or both hands, clutch the club tightly near the grip. Pull down, staying close to him, until you can wrap your arm around the club. Hold the shaft with your armpit while keeping a firm grasp on the club’s grip.

  5 Wrench the club away.

  Maintaining your hold, rotate your body around, away from the golfer’s face. This maneuver should give you the leverage you need to wrench the club out of his grip. Pull with just enough force to free the club from his grasp.

  6 Step back quickly, and be prepared for him to continue to be angry and to flail.

  If necessary, use the club to keep him away from his bag, where he might obtain a second weapon.

  7 If necessary, call for help.

  Seek the assistance of your fellow golfers to help defuse the situation.

  8 Continue to talk to him until he calms down.

  Be Aware

  It is always advisable to make all possible attempts to avoid physical confrontation. Your first choice should be to ignore and walk away from an irate golfer. Your next choice should be to use verbal skills to calm the golfer by speaking in low tones and showing understanding. Become physical only as a last resort, to avoid greater injury to yourself or others.

  HOW TO CONTROL YOUR GOLF RAGE

  1 Immediately set down anything you might be inclined to break or use as a weapon.

  Drop your clubs, bags, balls, spike-cleaning tools, golf shoes—anything you might use to injure another golfer.

  2 Take ten deep breaths.

  Breathe by expanding your stomach and abdomen, not your chest. This will cause the oxygen to enter your bloodstream more quickly, calming you down.

  3 Repeat the following words to yourself as you breathe: “It’s just a game. It’s just a game.”

  Putting the cause of your anger in perspective may help prevent you from causing harm.

  4 If you feel you have been wronged, say so.

  Be polite but assertive—explain clearly to the person involved why you are angry. Limit the discussion to the specific cause of your anger—do not get into bigger issues such as, “You always act this way.”

  5 Avoid making inflammatory statements.

  Making value-judgment and personal insults or implying illegal tactics will not be helpful.

  6 Listen and tolerate.

  Inevitably, the object of your anger will have a few thoughts of his own. Let him talk—this will decrease the likelihood of a further argument, and increase the likelihood of a resolution. Try to see the situation through the other person’s eyes, even if this is difficult. The person you are speaking with will likely follow suit.

  7 Forgive yourself or the other person for the infraction.

  8 Laugh it off.

  Try to defuse the situation with humor. Laughter, especially when it comes to golf, is often the best medicine.

  Be Aware

  However tempting it may be, taking your anger out on an inanimate object such as your clubs, your ball, or your golf cart may only lead to you hurting yourself or irreparably damaging the object. To release your anger, squeeze a golf ball or a plush toy you carry for this purpose.

  CHAPTER 4

  GOLFING EMERGENCIES

  HOW TO PREVENT A CLUB FROM FLYING OUT OF YOUR HANDS

  Dry the grip in the sun.

  If the grip is wet, or if there is a lot of moisture in the air, leave the club in the hot sun for as long as possible so the moisture will evaporate.
Place the club on a hard surface like rock or concrete, which retains more heat than grass and will expedite the drying process.

  Wear gloves.

  Golf gloves provide added grip (and reduce chafing and blisters). If no golf gloves are available, thoroughly wet a pair of thin cotton gloves and wear them.

  Rub dry dirt, chalk (magnesium carbonate), talcum powder, cornstarch, dry crumbs, or a powdery stick antiperspirant on sweaty hands or the grip.

  These items will absorb excess moisture.

  Rub a slippery grip on sandpaper or concrete to scuff the grip.

  Smear tree sap on the grip to make it sticky.

  Sugar maples are good sources of sap in the spring and early summer, when it may run down the sides of the tree. You will be able to find sap from pines or other conifers (spruce, fir) any time of year, and can use it either dried or weeping. Sap can also be found on needles and cones. Note that sap is extremely sticky, and removing it from the skin and other objects will require the use of mineral spirits.

  Use a towel.

  Wrap a handkerchief or a thin towel around the grip of your club when hitting. This is perfectly legal, according to the rules.

  HOW TO AVOID GETTING HIT BY A BALL

  1 Listen for the shout “Fore!”

  Whether the call comes in your direction or not, do not hesitate to react.

  2 Do not look for the ball.

  Looking up may expose your face and head. Do not attempt to dodge an incoming ball.

  3 Turn away from the source of the call.

  4 Drop your clubs or stop your cart.

  5 Cover your head with your hands and arms.

  Put your hands on the back of your head. Bend your arms around the top and sides of your head and tuck it into your chest.

  6 Crouch, squat, or drop to the ground.

  Roll yourself into a tight ball. If you cannot get to the ground, fold your upper body into itself and bend over.

  Be Aware

  If you and your group are standing on or near the green and the group behind you is hitting up, do one of the following:

  • Shield your eyes from the sun so you can easily watch their shots.

  • Cover your head and crouch if you lose sight of the ball.

  • Get behind your cart, golf bag, caddie, or another nearby object.

  HOW TO SURVIVE BEING HIT IN THE GOOLIES

  “Goolies” is a Scottish term, used at St. Andrews and elsewhere, that refers to the “privates,” or the groin area.

  1 Lie down immediately.

  Do not walk around. Cover your private parts to shield the area from further injury (and embarrassment). Clutching yourself will probably be your natural reaction to being hit by a club head or ball.

  2 Apply a cold pack to the injured area to reduce swelling.

  Use ice in a bag or cloth, or a cold can of soda or beer. This will help reduce the swelling and the pain.

  3 Do not apply too much pressure.

  Extreme pressure may cause more pain.

  4 If the pain is significant and does not subside within a few minutes, inspect the injury.

  Remove your pants to get a better look at the swelling and check for any irregularities.

  5 If the pain lasts more than an hour, or if the area is significantly bruised, seek medical attention.

  HOW TO CARRY AN INJURED GOLFER

  IF ALONE

  Use the “fireman’s carry” to bring the golfer to safety.

  1 Face the injured person.

  2 Prop the victim upright in a sitting or partly standing position.

  Bend down so your shoulder is level with her waist.

  3 Lean into her body.

  Have the injured golfer bend forward over your shoulder so her head and arms are behind you and her legs are in front of you.

  4 Put your arms around her legs and stand up.

  The victim should be bent at the waist over your shoulder, head behind, with legs in front of you.

  5 Walk the victim to the clubhouse.

  You should be able to walk a fair distance like this, as weight distribution is over your back and legs instead of your arms.

  IF ACCOMPANIED BY ANOTHER PERSON

  Use the “deadlift carry” when you have the aid of another person.

  1 Lay the injured golfer on his back.

  Alternatively, the injured golfer could be sitting upright on the ground.

  2 Stand behind the injured golfer.

  Your carrying partner should be facing you on the other side of the victim, near his legs.

  3 Kneel down.

  4 Slide your arms under the victim’s arms and wrap them around his chest.

  5 Instruct your partner to kneel between the victim’s legs.

  Your partner should place her arms under the victim’s knees, as if she were lifting the handles of a wheel-barrow to push it.

  6 Stand up.

  You and your carrying partner should rise at the same time. You will have about two-thirds of the victim’s weight and your partner will have the rest.

  7 Walk to get help.

  This position is difficult to maintain for long distances. If you get tired, it is easier to sit the injured golfer down and pick him up again using this method than with the one-person fireman’s carry.

  HOW TO TREAT A SPRAINED ANKLE

  1 Sit or lie down immediately.

  Do not put any weight on the ankle.

  2 Make a cold compress.

  Cold will constrict blood vessels and reduce swelling. Place ice in a plastic bag or wrap it in a shirt. Do not apply the compress directly to the skin; add a layer of clothing or plastic to prevent freezing of tissue. Applying cold cans may also reduce swelling.

  3 Elevate the ankle.

  Sit down and raise the ankle at least 18 inches above the ground by putting a log, golf bag, or other object under the calf.

  4 Apply the compress for 30 minutes, then remove.

  If the sprain is particularly bad and swelling is rapid and severe, leave the compress on for 15 additional minutes.

  5 Make a pressure bandage.

  If no emergency bandage is available, cut or tear cloth into long, four-inch-wide strips. Two three-foot strips should be sufficient. If available, use an elastic wrap.

  6 Wrap the ankle.

  Put one end of the bandage in the middle of the foot and use a figure-eight pattern to wrap up and over the ankle and back around the foot. Make sure the bandage is snug and the ankle immobile. Use tape, rubber bands, string, or shoelaces to secure the end of the bandage to the leg.

  7 Reapply the cold compress for another 30 minutes.

  8 Leave the course.

  Use a golf cart to reach the clubhouse. If no cart is available, use an umbrella, ball retriever, sturdy tree branch, or sand wedge as a cane for support.

  9 Take ibuprofen to reduce the swelling and relieve pain.

  If ibuprofen is not available, take acetaminophen, which will relieve pain but not swelling. Avoid aspirin, which can thin the blood.

  10 Seek medical attention immediately to ensure that the ankle hasn’t been broken or fractured.

  Be Aware

  Sprains are generally a result of tissue damage to the front outside ligaments of the ankle. X-rays are usually not needed for sprained ankles but should be obtained if you are unable to bear weight for more than six steps; if you feel pain in the back of either of the bones that normally protrude from the sides of the ankle; or if you have pain anywhere along the line from your ankle to your smallest toe.

  HOW TO TREAT A BLISTER

  1 Cover the blister with a bandage.

  If you do not have a bandage with you, you can fashion one with a tissue and a piece of adhesive tape or grip tape: fold the tissue until it is just big enough to cover the blister, then tape it. Small blisters (less than three-quarters of an inch) do not usually need any further care.

  2 If the blister is large and swollen, prepare to pop it.

  Use alcohol (brandy or whisk
ey from a flask will do the trick) or the flame from a match or lighter to sterilize a needle. Hold the needle in the flame for at least ten seconds.

  3 Pierce the blister with the needle.

  Hold the needle parallel to the surface of the skin. Puncture the blister near the edge to make draining easier.

  4 Drain the fluid.

  Gently apply pressure to squeeze out the fluid. Dispose of the needle in a sturdy plastic or metal box so that it does not accidentally prick anyone else.

  5 Cover the sore immediately with a bandage.

  See step 1. If you have antibiotic cream, use it.

  6 Watch for signs of infection.

  These include redness, swelling, pain, discharge, and fever. If you have these symptoms, get to a health-care professional.

  HOW TO TREAT POISON IVY, POISON OAK, AND POISON SUMAC

  1 Wash the exposed area of skin.

  Immediately wash the contaminated area with large amounts of running water.

  2 Wash shoes, socks, pants, gloves, and clubs immediately.

  Urushiol oil, which causes the rash, can stay active on objects for up to a year. Dilute the oil by washing equipment with lots of water. Slosh rubbing alcohol over exposed skin (except on the face) and rinse with water. (Carry a jar containing rubbing alcohol and a small cloth.) Rubbing alcohol neutralizes the oil.

  3 Do not scratch the rash.

  A rash usually develops a few hours to a few days after exposure. It will start with an itch accompanied by a light rash that continually becomes more intense and eventually blisters. Excessive and continual scratching can lead to neural dermatitis (persistent itch) that can continue even after the reaction has stopped. The total reaction usually lasts two weeks or less. If the itch is intolerable, seek medical assistance.