Until Then Read online

  With Anna’s help, she met with the funeral director, the burial grounds supervisor, and Eli’s lawyer. He had everything carefully crafted, always one step ahead. His casket was a beautiful sky blue with white silk lining. It matched her mother’s perfectly and would be placed in the ground side by side with hers. Ruby booked the caterer to avoid having the hassle of food and refreshments at their home and made sure to include several bottles of wine to help ease her through the afternoon.

  Robert had kindly reminded her to write a few words to speak on her father’s behalf, but writer’s block was her worst enemy. Now wasn’t the time to think of anything except petty details. They were distracting in the most comforting way. To picture saying a final goodbye in front of the countless faces that knew and loved her father made her feel physically ill. It would come to her in due time; she still had one more day to sort it all out in her mind. Not to mention, a large part of her wanted to shout out to the room of daddy’s closest friends— “Did you know? Did you know he was in the Holocaust? Why didn’t anyone tell me?”

  Grant was around, but his mind was clearly elsewhere. He had said few, if any words to her since they had been in the hospital room, and to be honest, she was okay with that. This was just too huge to even consider right now. She hadn’t even told Anna yet.

  The doorbell rang and she almost jumped out of her skin. Flowers and large plants had been delivered on the hour by various delivery men, from friends and family. She silently cursed herself for not requesting a donation to a local charity in lieu of flowers.

  Behind the door stood a short man, with thick round glasses and a bowtie.

  “Are you Ruby Rochester?” He removed a handkerchief from his pocket and dabbed at his forehead. The summer heat was starting to grow humid.

  “Yes.” She leaned slightly to the left to see if a delivery truck was behind him. “How may I help you?”

  “I have a package for you.” He pulled his arm from behind his back revealing a manila envelope. “It is from Mr. Eli Wienbaum.”

  “I am sorry, sir. There must be a mistake. Mr. Wienbaum, my father that is, passed away a couple of days ago.”

  “Yes ma’am that is why I am delivering this to you now. You see, my name is Paul Bleinman, and I am one of Mr. Weinbaum’s attorneys from Fricker and Fitch and he specifically asked me to deliver this to you two days after his passing.”

  “Daddy?” She stared at him blankly.

  “Yes ma’am. I am sorry for the abrupt manner in which this was planned, but it is important to him that I deliver it myself.”

  “Is it regarding his will? We already met with your fellow associate, Scott Fricker yesterday. He explained all of the legal proceedings and the inheritance.”

  “Ma’am, I am not at liberty to say. I have only been asked to deliver this to you today.” He extended the package forward to her with an awkward grin.

  “Alright then, thank you for complying with his wishes, I suppose. Did he ask you to tell me anything about it upon delivery?” She ran her hands along the edges of the package in wonder. “I mean, what did he say?”

  “No ma’am. Just asked me to deliver it. Sorry I can’t say more.” He lowered his gaze to his shoes and turned to go.

  “Thanks again,” she called out before closing the door.

  * * * *

  One hour later, Ruby sat on the couch staring at the sealed envelope. She had tried at least a dozen times to open it but couldn’t bring herself to. The outside of the package was completely blank—not a word written, not even her name. It was extremely lightweight and thin, as if only one sheet of paper were inside.

  Ruby heard the garage door open and close and Anna call out, “Mom, it’s me, Anna.”

  “In the living room. Thank God you’re here.”

  Anna rounded the corner, long blonde hair swept up in a flower pinned to the left of her face. Her eyes shone a vibrant blue against the flush of red in her cheeks from the heat.

  “What are you looking at?” She plopped down on the couch.

  “It’s…um…a delivery from Daddy.”

  “What? What are you talking about?” Anna picked up the package and flipped it over.

  “A man from his lawyer’s office came by and said that daddy had specifically asked for this to be delivered to me two days after he passed away.”

  Anna’s eyes widened. “You’re kidding me.” She held the package up to examine it once more. “Then why in the hell haven’t you opened it?”

  Ruby shifted, uneasy at the thought, and pushed her black, plastic frames up her nose. “I don’t know. I am kind of nervous as to what I will find, I guess.”

  “Okay.” Anna narrowed her brow. “Then I’ll open it.” She slid her finger under the seal and started to tear.

  “Wait!” Ruby burst out. “What if it’s something bad?”

  “Mom, quit being so afraid of life. Whatever it is, it was so important that he had it delivered from beyond the grave. You have to open it.”

  Ruby reached for the package and rested it on her lap. “I know that. I just…well, I have this pathetic memory of Mom and Daddy’s life being just perfect, happy and in love. If there’s something I didn’t know, then I’m going to spend the rest of my life with too many questions. Give me just a minute.”

  Ruby took a large gulp of her water resting on the coffee table and smoothed her checkered dress, a large black belt cinching her waist.

  “And go.” Anna tilted the package up toward her.

  Ruby grimaced.

  “What? You said you needed a minute.”

  “Fine.” Ruby slid her pointer finger up under the seal and finished the tear that Anna had started. Within three seconds, the envelope was open and Ruby could no longer breathe.

  She pried the opening and pulled out a folded piece of paper with her father’s handwriting. Anna inched closer on the couch. Ruby unfolded it with such gentleness, afraid at the slightest motion something could happen to this only remaining piece of her father. Her hands shaking, she lifted the last fold and a small black and white photograph fell to her lap.

  The photo had yellowed around the edges from age, but it was still clear. Smiling up at Ruby was a very young Eli and a beaming Sophia. They couldn’t have been more than sixteen or seventeen years old. Their youthful faces were filled with life and anticipation—they were beautiful and in love. Eli had his arm around Sophia. She had reached across him to hold his right hand and had her other hand in his on her shoulder. They were so in love that they had to hold both hands.

  Ruby smiled. “Look—how sweet. I’ve never seen this photo before.”

  “But, I thought they met in their early twenties. They look a lot younger here.” Anna’s voice interjected into the soft memory.

  “You’re right, I didn’t think they even knew each other at this age.” Ruby flipped the photograph over and written in blue ink pen on the yellowed photo paper was “March 1, 1938”.

  Ruby lowered the photo to her lap and quickly did the math in her head. “Seventeen,” she said. “Daddy was seventeen here and Mom was only fifteen.” She held the picture back up in wonder.

  “Then why? Why did they say they met later in life? A little bizarre don’t you think?”

  “Bizarre is definitely the word for it.” Ruby lifted the letter from her lap and Anna rested her head on her shoulder. Together they read…

  My dearest Ruby,

  Please, please forgive us; for there are many things about your mother and I’s life together that we never shared with you. There is a dark and unshakable secret that I have spent years trying to wash away. You see, my sweet girl, we were never quite strong enough to tell you and your brother for fear it would destroy you. And destroy you, it just may.

  Please tell Grant that I had this letter delivered to you only because he is as stubborn as your mother. He never would have been able to forgive me for hiding this from you and make sure he knows that I am watching over you both, begging for forgiveness. Howe
ver, your mother and I made this decision together, long before she went to the angels. In fact, long before you were even born.

  It is entirely too hard to share this story within the confines of a letter. There is emotion and passion and belligerent defiance that I am unable to physically put pen to paper. So, my dear, I am leaving you with one final wish…

  Chase our story, unwind it from our past and find peace in knowing your very own history. It is within the details and the memory that your own story may be found. And whatever you discover and whatever you learn, please know that I have lived my life as the luckiest man ever to walk this earth. Your mother’s love saved me. She is the greatest gift from God I ever known.

  I love you—all of you, more than my heart thought possible.

  Until then,

  Eli

  “Oh my God,” Anna gasped.

  Ruby reached for a handful of tissues, removed her glasses and covered her face.

  “Oh my God,” Anna repeated. “This is crazy.”

  Ruby shook her head and let out a soft sob. “I don’t even know what to say. What do I say? A part of me is in shock and a part of me is so angry at him for not telling me himself.” She reached for the letter again. “A dark, unshakable story that may destroy us?” she repeated.

  Anna nodded, her mind racing. “Any clues? Anything he said to you before he went into the coma? He could have another family? Maybe he was in the mob? Do you think he killed someone? Oh my God.”

  Ruby rose from the couch and peered out of the bay window overlooking the front lawn.

  “Yes, there is one thing. I was going to wait until after the funeral, because it’s just too much. It’s all too much.” Fresh tears spilled over onto her cheeks and down to her dress.

  “What is it, Mom? You can tell me.”

  “On Daddy’s chest, in the hospital…well, your father noticed it first.”

  “What? What was on his chest?”

  “132490,” Ruby spit out before she could stop herself.

  “What does that number mean?” Anna looked positively befuddled.

  “We think it was his Nazi identification number.” She stared at her daughter, expecting her throw her arms in the air in anger or confusion, but she didn’t move or blink. After what seemed like an eternity, she rose her hands to her face and covered her mouth in bewilderment.

  She whispered, “You think? You think Grandpa Eli was in a concentration camp?”

  Ruby, suddenly realizing her role as the mother, crossed the room and wrapped her arms around Anna. Soothing her hair and taking short ragged breaths, she whispered, “We don’t know anything for sure. It just looked exactly like the pictures I remember from college and that is as far as I’ve gotten with it. I just wanted to get through this week and then try and figure it all out, but then this…” She pulled away and pointed to the letter. “It has to be what he is talking about. I can feel it.” Ruby placed her hand on her chest and lowered back down onto the couch, letting out a deep and exasperated sigh.

  Anna, finding her voice, asked, “And what does Uncle Grant think about all of this?”

  Ruby rolled her eyes. “You know him, he’s convinced it was a marking from the hospital or something, but every doctor and nurse I spoke with confirmed that he had those numbers on his chest when he came into the hospital. They were so honored to take care of him and tried to ask him about it, but he refused and then swore each of them to secrecy from the family. In fact, they were mortified that they had left his shirt undone so carelessly for us to see. It was a well-known secret in the hospital. He never spoke of it again to them, didn’t explain anything. They just knew how sacred it was.”

  “Unreal. It is just unreal.”

  Anna picked up the letter once more and read through it again out loud to her mother. When she finished, she folded it carefully and put it back in the envelope for protection.

  She grinned slightly. “There is just one little problem, Mom.”

  “One? I think there are about two hundred problems, but which one in particular are you referring to?” Ruby looked exhausted.

  “He didn’t give us one clue as to, quote, chase our story. No name, address or anything. How are we ever supposed to figure this out? Neither of them have any siblings or family other than us?” Her voice rose with excitement. This was the reaction Ruby had been expecting. Anna had loved a good mystery since the day she was born. It had been her special thing with Grandpa Eli. They would spend hours with a magnifying glass searching for clues in the backyard on hot summer evenings such as this one.

  “Just like Daddy,” Ruby leaned back against the couch. “It doesn’t surprise me in the least. He was always full of surprises.”

  * * * *

  Ruby awoke the following morning with a deep sense of dread in the pit of her stomach. What bothered her most was that Daddy was the person who would have exactly the right words to soothe her during this time and give her comfort. She studied her reflection in the mirror, while she applied mascara that would surely be washed away in a matter of hours. The bags under her eyes had reduced considerably since yesterday afternoon, but they were still there—puffy little reminders of the worst week of her life. She swaddled her straight, short hair into a bun pinned at the nape of her neck and slid her mother’s favorite pearls around her, letting her fingers linger on each one.

  “You look beautiful, although I know that isn’t what you want to hear right now.” Robert leaned against the bathroom door and forced a smile. She turned to him, noticing, he too looked like he had been run over by a bus.

  “You’re sweet, but I’ve never felt worse.” She reached up to kiss his cheek and made her way downstairs to the kitchen. She felt his gaze on her as left him, knowing he was hurting just the same. She should have comforted him, but she just couldn’t right now.

  Anna and Ryan were already there serving up eggs and crispy bacon. Anna looked gorgeous in her pleated black skirt and silk blouse. Ryan was in character in a starched suit, ready to greet the guests. Ruby smiled briefly, realizing that if she closed her eyes for a moment, she might be able to imagine they were going to a wedding or a nice luncheon instead.

  “Mom, you look lovely.” Anna squeezed her tightly and kissed her cheek.

  “Yes, Ruby. Pretty as can be.” Ryan slipped his arm around Anna.

  “Thanks you guys. I hate to disappoint you, but I haven’t had an appetite for days…weeks for that matter, but don’t let me stop you.”

  Anna nodded and handed her mother a cup of steaming black coffee.

  They stood around in silence for a while, avoiding the obvious, before Grant knocked at the door.

  “Hey all.” He nodded, entering the kitchen. “Something smells good.”

  “We made breakfast.” Anna smiled. “Here have some.” She scooped a generous amount of eggs onto a plate and set it in front of her uncle.

  Grant shook Robert and Ryan’s hand before settling in to shove an oversized bite into his mouth. Ruby eyed him with curiosity as she leaned against the counter, wondering how on earth he could even think about eating at a time like this.

  “Where’s Liz?” Robert asked.

  Between mouthfuls, Grant replied, “She had some big client to meet this morning. Said she would meet us at the funeral.”

  Ruby studied him even more intensely. She would kill Robert if he didn’t take the day to be with her.

  “Told her she didn’t really even have to come. It’s not like Dad knows she’s there or anything.”

  Ruby slammed her fist against the counter, but Robert spoke before she had the chance.

  “I think Eli would appreciate it very much. After all, he was the center of this family.”

  “Mmm….hmm…” Grant shoveled more eggs into his cheeks, completely unaware of the daggers in Ruby’s eyes.

  “Well.” Anna clapped her hands together to break the awkwardness. “Shall we?”

  * * * *

  One by one, the solemn family filed into
the funeral home, the gravity of the situation settling in on them like a thick fog. Eli was just in the other room, lying there alone. Ruby’s heart ached and she looked down to see her hands shaking.

  The funeral director, a pleasant man in his late thirties, hugged each member of the family and offered his condolences. He carefully went through the expectations and events to come before excusing himself to allow them a moment alone with Eli. Ruby was the first to enter the room, Anna and Robert at her side as she made her way up to see him. From the back of the parlor, she realized with sudden urgency, that the man lying in the sky blue casket lined with white silk, was not her Daddy.

  Standing over him, soft tears rolled in an endless stream down her powdered cheeks.

  “It isn’t him,” she whispered out loud to Anna.

  Anna didn’t say a word, instead squeezed her mother’s hand tighter.

  “This isn’t Daddy. My daddy is alive and beautiful and full of grace.” She tentatively reached out her trembling hand and laid it on his. Eli’s hands were gently folded across his mid-section and adorned by his gold wedding band. A soft sob slipped out and Ruby pulled her hand back to dab at her cheeks. The rest of the family watched on with little to any idea on how to console her, battling their own grief.

  With strength beyond Ruby, Robert pulled his wife into his arms and led her down the aisle back out into the sunshine for a breath of air—a gesture she would be eternally grateful for.

  * * * *

  “Here Mom, have a drink of water.” Anna tilted the bottled water toward her mother.

  “Thanks honey.” She smiled graciously. The line of guests still wound all the way out of the room beyond sight and they had been greeting them for over three hours. At this rate, they could be there all night and Ruby had no idea how she could possibly hug one more person and hear, “Sorry for your loss.” Although thankful for the love and support of her father, the emotional weariness was overwhelming her and she was starting to feel faint.