Until Then Read online

  “You must…” Adel started.

  “He couldn’t,” Anna interrupted. Suddenly, Ruby realized her daughter was trembling.

  “What is it, Anna?” Ruby joined her daughter on the couch, took her hands into her own.

  “Please don’t be mad, but Grandpa Eli told me everything before he passed.”

  Ruby looked as though daggers might shoot from her eyes.

  “What?” Grant whispered. “You knew?”

  Anna stood to pace the room, unable to look either of them directly in the eyes.

  “I’m sorry,” she cried. “I went to visit him one afternoon and he spilled everything. He said he knew he had little time left and that he needed this favor from me. He begged me not to say a word, just follow his wishes. He gave me Marjorie’s name and sent me to visit her. I told her everything and gave her James Shulz’s name. Grandpa Eli insisted she must play this part and that she had to tell you everything she knew.” Anna stopped to catch her breath, her chest rising and falling rapidly. “And then I called James Shulz and told him to expect us. Grandpa Eli was right beside me as I made the call and even spoke to him for a moment…to say goodbye. They talked so easily, like brothers. It broke my heart.”

  Ruby flung to her feet and put her hands up to stop Anna. “Please, please stop. This is…well this is all…please, just stop. My heart can’t take any more. Even Adel?” She turned to see the grin of the aged woman—her family—rocking in her chair.

  “Mom, you can’t be mad. Grandpa Eli wanted you to be a part of the journey, you see? He needed me to lead the way, without interfering. He wanted you to meet everyone and hear it from them. He was afraid if he just told you outright, you wouldn’t be able to absorb it as you have this way.”

  Ruby’s hands were on her hips as she stormed toward Anna. “You are telling me we were just pawns in your little game?”

  “No!” Anna was almost shouting now.

  Adel continued to rock in her chair, as if she anticipated all of this.

  “Then what?”

  “Don’t you see? He loved you and Uncle Grant so much that he needed you to live it, not hear it. He only asked me so that you could be the recipient of his final gift. Mom, he loved you so much and his only wish was to pull you into the memories of his journey. Would you truly have had it any other way?” Anna was almost whispering now.

  There was a long and thick silence. Anna scanned their faces, searching for answers. She wanted to tell them, wanted them to know all along. But, she promised.

  “But, Anna…” Ruby started.

  “No, he did the right thing,” Grant said solemnly. “I, for one, am thankful.” He slid an arm around his sister. She didn’t resist and leaned into him for support. “I guess what we are trying to say Anna is…thank you.”

  Tears overflowed down Anna’s flushed cheeks and she nodded. “I was so scared to do this; I didn’t want to hurt you. If he hadn’t have begged me to do it, I don’t know that I would have been strong enough.” She took a step toward her mother. “I tell you everything.”

  Ruby pulled her daughter into a tight hug, allowing her to cry as a young woman carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders.

  Ruby sighed. “Grant is right. Thank you, Anna. It’s just all too much to take in right now, you know? I see now where you get your strength.”

  * * * *

  “Well.” Adel smiled up at them from her chair. “Care for a happy ending?”

  For the next hour, Adel described the remaining part of Eli and Sophia’s journey. News, even to Anna. They stuck to the forest roads, hopped trains in the night and eventually landed themselves on the St. Louis transatlantic liner from Hamberg to Cuba. There was quite a media stir about the admittance of Jewish refugees aboard that ship and they were eventually displaced to the United States and ultimately New York. They sought shelter in a refugee camp and eventually stumbled upon James and Patrice, who loved them as if they were their own family.

  “Sophia never spoke to our father again, and he passed away during the war. Our mother died shortly thereafter from starvation, as rations were so few. They were the most horrid and painful years of our life. I thought my sister was gone, had been killed in trying to free Eli. However, almost seven years after she left, a letter arrived from New York. I could see her tear stains on the paper on which she wrote of their journey. She pleaded for me to forgive her, in saying that she was too afraid she might get caught if she contacted me sooner. She never came home again, and I was proud of her for doing so. I thought so long and hard about joining her, but fell in love on my own and decided to stay here. The war changed everyone. But it made my dear sweet sister much stronger than I ever imagined.” Adel rose from her chair on unstable legs and walked slowly toward a bookshelf nearby.

  “Help me won’t you, young Anna?”

  Anna carefully removed a shoebox from the top shelf. It was stuffed to the brim with folded pieces of paper and photographs. “Please give this to your mother?”

  Anna laid the box onto her mother’s lap and watched her face melt as she peeled away the lid. Inside, were hundreds of letters with her parent’s handwriting, photos of Grant and Ruby as children, teenagers and even photos of Anna and Mark. And at the very bottom of the box lay a golden pocket watch.

  “They sent me a letter every month and always included photos of each of you, so beautiful and healthy. Don’t you see? I was with you the whole time, but I thank God that I may finally hold you in my arms.”

  * * * *

  Together they sat in that old German cottage for hours, reading letters, studying photos, and crying at their memory. It was the finest tribute Eli could have ever prayed for.

  As they kissed Adel goodbye, promising to return soon, she slipped one final letter into Ruby’s hands to read after they had gone.

  My dearest Grant, Ruby and sweet Anna,

  At long last, you have discovered our story—your story. You see it isn’t the people we become, the money we earn, or the way in which our appearances fade that defines us. It is the breath we take in each moment that defines us…that deep breath that gives us the courage to fight with all of our power for freedom, for joy, for love.

  Now you see, the love for your mother is much stronger than a kiss snuck in the kitchen while you children played in the other room. It is much stronger than the sweet seal of commitment on our treasured wedding day. It is the strength of a kiss shared on the streets of Munich when we promised to love each other forever and ever.

  She saved me, in every way possible. She stole my heart the moment I saw her and delivered me from my darkest hour. I have spent the rest of my life paying tribute to the beacon of strength that she is.

  I see so much of her in each of you, so strong and brilliant and truthful. My heart is bursting as I seal my eyes to join our Father and my sweet Sophia. Please understand why we chose to tell you this way. We love you entirely too much to have it any other way. We wanted you with us, you see? We needed you to step where we stepped, feel what we felt and meet those that we love so dearly. After all, it is only in the journey that we find our true selves.

  Live your lives…live each moment and remember…you may write each page of your own story. No one can ensure your happiness or secure your faith. It is up to you.

  We are watching over you, my sweet children. We will carry you in the palm of our hands and secure a place for you to walk among the golden clouds by our side. We will love you forever and ever…

  Until then,

  Eli & Sophia

  As Ruby folded the letter and placed it into the envelope, she realized the tears had finally stopped. Her heart was so peaceful and content. She reached for Grant’s hand and held it firmly.

  “Are you okay?” he whispered from the driver’s side of the car.

  “Finally…finally I feel as if I understand.”

  * * * *

  Anna rested against the back seat of the car as Grant peeled back onto the road to return to the hot
el. She wasn’t okay. This seemed to be affecting her more than anyone on this journey and she even knew every step as they took it.

  “Anna, are you alright?” Ruby turned in her chair to see her daughter, eyes bloodshot and hands clenched.

  “I just can’t stop thinking about what Grandpa said. That we are responsible for our own happiness.”

  Ruby rested her hand on Anna’s knee and looked deeply into her daughter’s eyes. “Whatever you decide, sweetheart, we support you. Everything will be okay. And don’t worry about me. I understand everything now. Everything is perfectly clear.”

  Anna didn’t need to say anymore. Her mother was as connected to her emotions as a newborn. In some way, it soothed her to know she had her full support on a decision yet to be made.

  * * * *

  Upon returning to the hotel, faces swollen from the morning’s events, the three trudged across the lobby in silence. In a mere matter of hours, their lives had changed, their stories altered. Thoughts raced through each of their minds, overwhelming them. As they neared the elevator, a man’s voice yelled from across the lobby. Weighty footsteps trucked toward them and they turned to see Robert.

  “Ruby!” He was out of breath.

  Her eyes lit, she held out her arms to hug him. “What are you doing here?”

  “I have…wait, are you okay?”

  “It’s a long story man, but yeah, we’re all fine,” Grant piped in.

  “Well, it’s now or never.” Robert straightened his tie and fell to one knee. “I have come all of this way to see you, Ruby, my wife. I’ve come to tell you that I’m lost without you. Not just for the week that you were away, but in the everyday moments that we’ve drifted apart from. I need us to love like we used to, grow closer, and laugh more. I guess what I am trying to say, is that I vow to do whatever it takes to be the man you deserve.” He paused, out of breath. “Will you marry me…again? I want to renew our vows and start fresh—find the love we know is in here.” He put one hand on his heart and reached the other to grasp Ruby’s hand.

  She stared at him blankly, having no idea that he had been feeling this way all along. In so many ways, she thought he was happy just going through the motions.

  “When? How? I…I didn’t know you were feeling this way.”

  Robert gulped and stood to his feet. “Yes, Ruby. You deserve more, and I have been a fool. Can you forgive me?”

  She nodded through a well of tears, and he hugged her clumsily.

  Grant glanced toward Anna, who was presently beaming from ear to ear. “Did you know about this, too?” He laughed.

  She shook her head.

  “I love you, Ruby. I want to renew our vows…and I want to do it at your parent’s home on the beach in the fall.”

  “But what about Anna’s wedding?” she uttered.

  “Don’t worry about that Mom, this is too special. Enjoy it.” Anna kissed each of her parents on the cheeks and headed for the elevator with Grant, leaving them to seal their newfound commitment with a series of passionate kisses.

  * * * *

  Back at her hotel room, Anna stopped short of a creased piece of paper slipped under her door. She bent to the floor to retrieve it and let herself into the room. Seated on her bed, she read,

  Anna—

  I know we just met. I know you think I’m crazy, but I have never felt anything like this. Come to New York…please. Let’s see what this all about, let’s give us a try. I will be devastated if I walk away, never knowing what could have been. I know you have a fiancé back home, but just tell me this…can you live without him? If the answer is yes…jump on a plane and you will find me waiting for you. It isn’t crazy. It could be love. The real love we have been waiting for. Call me. 555-491-2323

  —Shane

  P.S. If anything, you have to tell me the rest of the story…

  Anna held the letter to her heart in utter shock. Reading and re-reading it, noticing his address scribbled underneath. It wasn’t in her head? Something she imagined? He felt it too. It was crazy though, just like he said. She couldn’t jump on a plane and leave her fiancé waiting for her in Michigan? It would break his heart.

  She curled up under the covers, clutching the letter. Her heart was pounding, but her mind couldn’t process another thought. She fell into a bottomless sleep, filled with nothing but a dark, blank slate.

  * * * *

  Their plane touched down on Michigan soil the following afternoon, just in time to see the sun starting to set across the dark, rocky ocean. The sky was vibrant in rich shades of melting orange and lavender. It was one of many sunsets that reminded Grant of home. He hugged his family goodbye and climbed into his black pick-up truck to head home. It felt so good to be driving again, to pass by the serene familiar sights. This was his home.

  He was surprised to see the kitchen light on. It was after all Thursday, Liz’s night in the gallery. Maybe she decided to skip it? To talk things through? He retrieved his duffle bag from the back of the truck and moved toward the front door. His heart was heavy and he didn’t know how much confrontation he could take tonight.

  Liz was waiting in the living area, clutching an old edition of Moby Dick. Her eyes were soft, a change for once.

  “Hey,” he muttered, letting out a long winded sigh.

  “Hi.” She stood to greet him, helping him with his bag. “There’s some leftovers in the kitchen—pulled pork, your favorite.”

  He smiled in weak gratitude, knowing she was up to something.

  “Thanks, I am ravenous.” He started past her and much to his dismay, realized she was following him. Confrontation it would be.

  “Did you think about what I said?” she sputtered, his hand barely on the refrigerator handle. He dropped his head.

  “Really, Liz? Right now? Do you even care to know what happened? In case you found it in your heart to give a damn, my life has been completely shattered. My father was in the Holocaust! My mother saved him from the German Reich. Don’t you get it? It isn’t about you right now. I have been through so much in the past few days…I just want to sleep!” He slammed the refrigerator door shut and stormed past her to the bedroom.

  She was right on his heels. “You have been through so much? Spare me, Grant. You don’t know the half of it. I was hoping you would find some time in your busy schedule to figure out just what the hell you want. You already know what I want. I want a divorce!” she was screaming now, her eyes wild.

  “Fine!” he bellowed, his voice echoing down the halls.

  “What?” she whispered in return. “That’s what you want?”

  He turned to her and took a step in her direction. “Is that what you want, Liz? Because I can’t play these stupid, fucking games. If you want a divorce, I’ll give it to you. I don’t know what I want anymore, but I know I’m not happy. You are miserable and mean and I can’t tolerate your bullshit anymore.”

  She cowered in his wake suddenly quiet. After a long moment, she whispered, “Yes, it is truly what I want.”

  He blinked heavily, having aged considerably in the last week from fatigue. “Okay,” he said quietly, turned toward the bedroom and shut the door.

  * * * *

  Anna found Ryan on his computer in the den, his brow furrowed in concentration.

  “Hey, babe.” She snuck up on him timidly.

  “Hi!” He spun in his chair and pulled her into him, smothering her in kisses along her neck and face.

  “Hold on.” She forced a smile. “I need to breathe for a minute. Can we just sit down and talk?”

  His smile was sheepish and miserably out of place. He nodded and drew her toward the couch.

  “Thanks,” she said, trying to regain her bearings. The apartment looked different. It was so neat and orderly. Her stack of magazines were missing next to the television and her treasured collection of nail polish bottles from the end table. She no longer fit in this room, this apartment, this life. Every trace of her seemed to have vanished.

  “Yo
u cleaned,” she noted.

  He laughed. “Yep, it was so tidy around here without you!”

  She reached for his hand and squeezed it tightly. “Ryan, we need to talk.”

  * * * *

  The following morning, Ruby knocked softly at Anna’s old bedroom door and woke her from a quiet slumber.

  “Sweetheart, it’s nearly noon. Are you okay?”

  Anna groaned.

  “Would you like to go visit Marjorie with me today?”

  Anna rose from her mound of covers. Her blonde hair was clumped and disheveled.

  “Good to see you slept some.” Ruby ran a hand along her daughter’s beautiful face. “You’re going to be okay, you hear me? You did the right thing. If your heart isn’t in it, how can your mind be?”

  Anna hugged her mother tightly, ever aware that she had yet to cry one single tear. It was as if Eli and Sophia’s story had given her the courage to fight for her own happiness. To fight for true love.

  “What time are you going? I would really like to see her.”

  Ruby smiled. “Good. Let’s have lunch, or in your case breakfast, and make our way over to see her in about an hour or so.”

  * * * *

  Marjorie squealed when she saw Ruby and Anna coming her way. She was dressed sharply; head to toe in vibrant red and purple, surrounded by her Society. She hugged them tight, and begged for details. Sitting back out on the patio, in the early afternoon heat, they shared every photo from Adel and every detail they could remember. She soaked it all in and cried along with them, her large telling eyes raw with emotion.

  “You are so blessed. We all are to have known them. But tell me this.” She grinned. “Would you have changed a thing?”

  Ruby glanced toward Anna, who shrugged. “Not a thing.” She smiled, in return.

  * * * *

  After a week of moping around the house and silently flipping through wedding magazines, carefully marked with yellow tabs to the dresses, floral arrangements and photographers she liked, Anna decided to take a walk along the beach. She slipped her feet into her orange flip flops and traveled the few blocks to the water. The sun permeated her skin and she lifted her face upward to let it saturate her cheeks.