Mother of Chaos Read online

She loved this creature.

  Why? How can I love this monster?

  “Shhh, my child,” the angel said. “Everything is all right now.”

  It isn’t! It won’t be as long as you’re here!

  “O dark one.” The Alchemist’s voice sounded faint to Ruxandra’s ears. “Do you accept our sacrifice?”

  “Yes. He was lovely, and so very willing.” She smiled at the bleeding, crying young man. “Don’t worry, my sacrifice. You will heal.”

  Between sobs, the young man whispered, “I thank you, goddess.”

  “Hardly that, now, though I was once.”

  Eduard and Michael rushed to him, helping him to his feet. Eduard bowed to the angel. “We shall take him to a doctor.”

  “Please.”

  The young man moaned in pain as they pulled him from the room.

  “May we know your name, angel?” asked the Alchemist.

  “I am Ishtar,” the angel said. “And I should kill you for daring to summon me, but you have given me a precious gift. Have they not, my daughter?”

  I am not your daughter!

  The thought gave Ruxandra strength to push against Ishtar’s chest. It felt like pushing a mountain. The arms around her didn’t budge. Ishtar held her close a moment longer before releasing her grip. Ruxandra shoved hard against her and flew back to sprawl on the ground. Ishtar stood, towering over the humans. She folded her wings, and the wings vanished. A white, shimmering dress appeared and covered her body. It clung to her contours, emphasizing her hips and breasts and the length of her legs.

  “Now,” she said, “why have you summoned me?”

  “To know you exist,” the Alchemist said.

  “To know divinity is real, and the world is more than what we see,” Kurkov said, his voice deep and ragged with passion. Tears rolled down his face. “You are so beautiful.”

  “I appreciate you saying so.” Ishtar sounded amused. “But those cannot be your only reasons.”

  “They are our reasons,” the Alchemist said. “They are not the reasons of the one who ordered us to summon you here.”

  “Ordered you?” Ishtar surveyed the group, amusement on her face. “A group of magicians as strong as yourselves, taking orders?”

  “Yes,” Alexi said. He sounded remarkably calm, considering what stood before him. “They serve the empress, who seeks your aid.”

  Ishtar made a show of looking around. “Did she not deem me worthy enough to be here in person?”

  Alexi swallowed hard. “Rather, she deemed you so great she dared not appear until after you accepted the sacrifice. She will not risk abandoning her people, for she has no successor.”

  “I see.” Ishtar sounded unimpressed. She turned to Ruxandra. “From your dramatic arrival, I take it no one told you about this event. Do you fear me, my child?”

  “Yes.” The word came out easily, much to Ruxandra’s surprise. At least she hasn’t taken my ability to speak. “You’ll kill them.”

  Ishtar’s perfect eyebrows rose, her golden eyes widened. “Why do you say so?”

  “Because you made me kill them last time!” Tears long suppressed spilled out of Ruxandra’s eyes. “You made me kill my father!”

  “Vlad Dracula offered you as sacrifice.” Ishtar sounded like a patient teacher correcting a child’s mistake. “He wanted to let me rape you to death, to gain the power he wanted. Is this the act of a father? Or of a brutal tyrant?”

  The truth in her words stung Ruxandra, and she looked away.

  “I made you an instrument of revenge,” Ishtar said. “I gave you strength to right the world’s wrongs, and you chose to use it so. Do you not now feed on those humans who prey on others? Or on those in pain so great they long to leave this world, but who fear suicide, knowing it damns them to hell?”

  It’s not true. She’s twisting things.

  “Do you know why God banished us?” Ishtar asked.

  “You rebelled against God,” the Alchemist said. “For trying to steal the throne of heaven.”

  “For trying to relieve humanity’s suffering.” Bitterness filled Ishtar’s voice. “For trying to destroy the evil that God lets continue. So we tried to take his throne, and for that he threw us into the lake of fire. And when we crawled from it, screaming in agony, he told us that henceforth we would dole out misery and punishment for eternity, so we never again forget our place.”

  Ishtar lowered her head, and for a moment the sadness that filled her expression was so great that Ruxandra wanted to weep for her. Maybe I misunderstood.

  No! I didn’t! And I won’t. I won’t cry for her.

  “Ten thousand years in hell made the angels brutal,” Ishtar said. “It twisted us into creatures of destruction. But we did not forget our true selves, or our true aim.”

  Footsteps clattered down the stairs, moving too fast for a human. Kade hit the ground, slammed the door open, and charged forward. He saw Ishtar and skidded to a stop. She looked deep into his eyes and smiled.

  “Welcome, my child.” Ishtar glanced at Ruxandra, and the smile turned mischievous. “Or should I say great-grandchild?”

  “My queen.” Kade fell to his knees. “I have so longed to meet you.”

  “You may call me Ishtar.” She nodded to Ruxandra. “As may you, my child. And what wonderful work, choosing this one. I see the depth of his mind, and he is as worthy of my blood as you.”

  Ruxandra looked at the floor.

  “My daughter is still angry,” Ishtar told Kade. “She does not understand why I brought her into this world.”

  “Nor do I,” Kade said. “And I would give all I possess to know.”

  “You shall.” Ishtar stopped and cocked her head. More footsteps came from the stairs—Ruxandra counted six guards from the sound of their boots and armor. And with them a single woman in dancing slippers.

  No. Anna can’t come down here. Ishtar will . . .

  “I will not harm her,” Ishtar said. “Nor turn her into one of my children, for she wishes something else.”

  She looked to the door. The room fell silent as they waited. Ruxandra heard the humans’ hearts pounding and smelled fear and exhilaration in their sweat. The Alchemist beamed with happiness. Kurkov stared reverently. The others stood back, eyes wide with awe. My friends. They don’t understand. Kade looked like a child, his face shining with joy. Nor he, who should know that evil can be beautiful.

  Alexi was the only unhappy one.

  He looked awed, certainly, but deeply troubled as well. His eyes stayed locked on the tall angel before him.

  Two guards came in first. They froze in the doorway, staring. The ones behind shoved them forward. Then they saw the angel and stopped, stunned.

  “Move, oafs!”

  The second set of guards shook off their stupor. They stepped to the side, and Anna of Russia, still in her pink ball gown, walked in. She faltered at the sight of Ishtar, but her hesitation lasted only a moment. She straightened up, raised her chin, and walked forward to the edge of the pentacle and knelt.

  “Please, O holy one,” Anna said, “I have great need of your help.”

  “So your servants told me.” Ishtar’s teacher’s voice came back, only now she sounded stern. “What happened, Anna of Russia, that you cannot hold power?”

  Anna looked up, and the golden eyes of the angel met hers.

  “I see,” Ishtar said. “So much hatred, merely for being a woman? It must infuriate you to deal with men who respect you so little. And to know the nobility and church plot against you.”

  “Yes, O holy one.” Anna swallowed hard. “Therefore I beseech you: Loan me your power, to smite my enemies. Let me bring joy to my people and punish evil in your name, Ishtar my goddess. Grant me this favor and I offer you myself as a second willing sacrifice.”

  Anna prostrated herself before the angel, her face against the stone, her arms and legs spread wide.

  “Do with me what you will. Only give me the power to rule.”

  Ishtar knelt, ca
ught Anna’s chin in her hand, and raised her. Anna’s eyes never left Ishtar’s as she stood. Ishtar stepped forward and wrapped Anna in her embrace. Anna’s face turned white, then red, and then the fear vanished, replaced by bliss, and she put her arms around the angel’s body.

  “I will help you, my dear,” Ishtar said. “But in this world I have limitations that must be obeyed, or else a greater power than me shall destroy me.”

  She released Anna from her embrace and placed her hands on Anna’s shoulders. “Please, fetch chairs for the empress and me.”

  The magicians scurried away and dashed back, chairs in their arms. Ruxandra, still prone on the floor, watched as they put them in the middle of the pentacle. Ishtar took Anna’s hands and sat her in a chair.

  “First you must understand,” Ishtar said, her hands still holding Anna’s, “I am forbidden to stay on this plane in this form. As Ruxandra told you, this circle does not contain me, only summon me. But while summoned, heaven cannot detect me, save if I use my powers.”

  She turned to Ruxandra and smiled. “I would not have left you, my beloved daughter. By giving you part of me, I violated the laws of God and needed to leave before he tortured me and put me back in the lake of fire.”

  Ruxandra looked away. What would it have been like had she stayed? Would she have helped me adapt or made me even worse? She could at least have explained what I was. That would have been a mercy.

  “So there is nothing you can do?” Anna asked, her voice calm, but her eyes glimmering with anger.

  “There is one thing.” Ishtar leaned closer. “When I realized where I was being summoned, I read the minds of all in the city before I stepped through. I know the thoughts of those who oppose you. I saw into their minds. And while I cannot do it again while I stay here, I can use the knowledge I already possess to help you manipulate them for your own ends.”

  “How?” asked Anna. “If you have no power—”

  “It requires no power to stay by your side and advise you.”

  Anna frowned as she thought. “For how long?”

  “As long as you live, if you wish,” Ishtar said. “I said I could not stay on this plane in this form, but I can take the form of a human, with no power but that of a human body and mind. If I do that, I may remain here for as long as the human form survives. I shall age as you age, and when you die, I shall return to hell.”

  Anna’s eyes went wide. “Can you truly do this?”

  “You summoned me.” Ishtar smiled. “Your wish is my command.”

  Anna stared into the angel’s golden eyes, as if searching for Ishtar’s intent. “Why do that for me?”

  “Because it means I can spend a lifetime with my children, learning who they are and teaching them of their true selves.” She gave Ruxandra a smile filled with yearning and hope. “And then, perhaps, convince my daughter to forgive me.”

  Ruxandra felt love blossoming in her chest. She wanted to go to Ishtar, to sit in her arms and ask for forgiveness. A mother! I have not had one in so long . . . She tried to focus on how much she hated the angel and refused to let her body move.

  “I agree,” Anna said. “Be my adviser and help me guide my people to a better world, and you may take all the time you wish with your children.”

  Ishtar’s smile turned joyous. She squeezed Anna’s hands in her own. “Thank you.”

  She stood up and stepped back. Ishtar closed her eyes, raised her arms, and smiled. A faint white glow started in the middle of her chest. It expanded through her body, growing brighter until it became blinding. The Alchemist tried to watch and cried out in pain. Everyone else covered their eyes.

  The light vanished and Ishtar became an older, human version of Ruxandra. Her skin was less pale, her red hair two shades darker, and her eyes deep blue flecked with gold. Her large breasts sat high on her chest, crowned by deep-pink areolas. The hair on her groin matched that on her head. Her legs and arms looked long and strong and in perfect proportion. She could pass easily for a woman in her early thirties, though healthier than most.

  Ruxandra hated the sight of her.

  “Forgive my nudity,” Ishtar said. “My clothes grow from my angel body. They vanished when I took this form.”

  “Of course,” Anna said.

  “Please.” Kade took off his jacket. “Begin with this.”

  Ishtar slipped her arms into the coat’s sleeves and wrapped it tight around her. She sighed as it touched her skin. “I forgot how wonderful fabric feels against human skin. It has been . . . many centuries.”

  Anna rose and curtsied to Ishtar. Ishtar stopped her.

  “I am your servant, and I must curtsy to you.” Ishtar put deed to word, curtsying low. “Now, Your Majesty, will you allow me proper clothing and a place to rest?”

  “Fetch my maid and tell her to bring a change of clothes,” Anna said to one of her soldiers, who ran from the room. “We shall await you in the church.”

  “My thanks.”

  Ishtar watched Anna and her men leave. She walked across the floor and knelt before Ruxandra. She held out her hand.

  “Come, Daughter,” Ishtar said. “Let me help you rise.”

  Ruxandra stood up on her own. Her mind was whirling with confusion. She is evil; I know it. A second later: Does she love me?

  Ishtar shook her head. “Don’t be petulant, Ruxandra. I want to know you better.”

  “I thought you read my mind.” Ruxandra took two steps back.

  “I did, just before I was first summoned. I can’t now, of course.” Ishtar sighed. “I will rephrase. I know you are angry. I want you to get to know me better and forgive me. Can you do that, Ruxandra?”

  It would be all too easy. For a while.

  Ruxandra turned, leaped up to the balcony above, and ran out.

  “Ruxandra!”

  Ishtar’s call faded behind her as Ruxandra sprinted the length of the tunnel. She dashed up the stairs and out the same window she had used to enter and stood in the open air. Nearby she heard the sound of carriages rattling over stone and followed it to an open gate. She turned unnoticed and slipped through the gates to the enclave. Without slowing she ran through the cobbled streets and jumped the wall, landing hard on the riverbank.

  For a moment she contemplated stepping into the water and letting its current take her where it wanted.

  I can’t leave Moscow. I can’t let her go free.

  Does she truly love me?

  It was torment. Ishtar’s power called to her, promising understanding and an intimacy deeper than she’d ever known. Regardless of such things as “good” and “evil,” it felt as if the very blood in her body yearned for the angel.

  Why not? It is her blood, she thought bitterly.

  Kade found her an hour later, her legs crossed, her elbows on her knees and her face buried in her hands.

  “Ruxandra?” He sounded worried and uncertain. “Are you all right?”

  “You got your wish.”

  “Pardon?”

  “Your wish.” Ruxandra raised her head. “You, the Alchemist, Anna, everyone got their wish, and now that thing is free.”

  “She is advising Anna,” Kade said. “She promised to help her rule.”

  “God!” Ruxandra snarled the word. “How can you believe her? How can you trust her?”

  “How can I not?” Kade spread his arms, palms up. “She made us.”

  “She’s a devil, Kade. She’s evil.” How weak my voice sounds. No wonder no one believes me.

  “We saw no evidence of it.”

  “How about the blood on your sacrifice?” Ruxandra snapped. “Did that look like fun?

  “He went of his own free will,” Kade said. “His father saw how he acted with other boys and forced him into the priesthood. In exchange for this, Anna promised to free him.”

  “If he lives.”

  “Ishtar said he would. The wounds were superficial.”

  “Ishtar lies.”

  “How do you know?”

  I f
eel it! She didn’t let the words escape her lips. They would not satisfy Kade, as they had not satisfied Alexi. If they’re experiencing only a tenth of the longing I am . . .

  “Ruxandra, we have an opportunity here.” Kade squatted beside her. “We are her children. You and I can ask her anything. Think how much we could learn.”

  Ruxandra stared at the water. “Did you know?”

  “That they would summon her tonight?” Kade sighed. “No. I realized what Anna meant just as you ran out. I followed her carriage to the church.”

  Ruxandra believed him, but she didn’t want to, so she stared back out at the water rushing past the shore.

  “Ruxandra, why are you afraid of her?” Kade asked. “She created you to take the evil from humanity.”

  “No,” Ruxandra whispered.

  “She said so.”

  “I did that.” Ruxandra’s breath hitched, her voice quavered. “Not her.”

  “Ruxandra . . .”

  “Otherwise I’m her pawn, and everything I’ve done until now has been her bidding.”

  “Would that be so terrible?”

  “YES!” The word echoed off the city wall through the houses across the river. “I made my own choices. She made me a monster and abandoned me, and I found a way to live with it. Not her!”

  Her head fell back into her hands, and her shoulders shook with sobs. “Oh, Kade. What do I do now?”

  Chapter 15

  Kade carried Ruxandra back to his house.

  She protested, but Kade insisted, and it felt so good in his arms. He jumped the wall with ease and walked the two of them, unnoticed, through the enclave. Inside he took her upstairs to her room and laid her on the bed. He took off her shoes and put her under the blankets. She pulled them over her head, searching for comfort in the darkness.

  A few moments later, Kade slipped in beside her.

  Instead of trying to kiss her, he wrapped his arm around her and spooned against her. Ruxandra felt the length of his body pressed against hers. It was comforting but did nothing to calm her mind. It was hours before she fell asleep.

  She woke to the sun setting outside the window. She wondered if she could find an excuse to stay in bed as the light turned to darkness.