Man...Mercenary...Monarch (Royally Wed) Read online

  No, John saw none of that lovely picture when he looked at her, because he viewed her through the eyes of a man who believed he was meant to move through life alone.

  He was struggling to take on the role of father. He had no desire to add the title of husband to his new challenges.

  It would be John and Jeremiah against the world, with no one else allowed to enter their private space.

  John would reach a decision as to how to deal with the Wyndhams.

  He’d map out a plan whereby he would be able to stay in one place…somewhere…to provide Jeremiah with the stable existence the baby needed.

  Piece by piece, John would get his new and turbulent life in order, set things to rights, get on with his future with his son.

  And nowhere in that scenario did John Colton envision a place for Laura Bishop. He wouldn’t look deep within himself to discover how he might really feel about her, how deep his caring might be, what it might blossom into.

  He wouldn’t even entertain the concept that he might fall in love with her, have a forever with her as his wife, the mother of his son, because he saw himself as a solitary man.

  Think about it, John had said. Think of how much they wanted each other, desired each other, could be together within the walls of that cozy cabin and refuse to address all that awaited them beyond its door.

  For a handful of minutes, hours, days—and nights—they could have it all…together.

  Laura dashed the tears from her cheeks and wrapped her hands around her elbows as she lifted her chin, her gaze still riveted on the sleeping pair on the sofa.

  Could she do it? she wondered, franticness edging into her mind. Could she live out a fantasy, her rainbow wish, for as long as it lasted? Could she bear the pain, the endless tears, when it was all over and she was once again alone?

  Think about it.

  Laura took a shuddering breath.

  Her future stretched before her with a dark cloud hovering over it, so empty, so lonely. She didn’t even know where she might find herself, if she’d still be with the Wyndhams or somewhere she couldn’t even fathom.

  But here, in the now, was John. And Jeremiah.

  Think about it? Oh, yes, she most definitely was. She was going to gather her courage and grab hold of the happiness within her reach, rejoice in it, cherish it, for as long as it lasted.

  She would be John’s lover…his…his wife and Jeremiah’s mother until reality shattered the make-believe world within that cabin, broke down the door and entered with its chilling truth.

  Jeremiah stirred and whimpered. John didn’t open his eyes as he patted the baby’s back.

  “Daddy’s here,” John mumbled. “Everything’s fine. Daddy’s here, Jeremiah.”

  “And mommy’s here, too,” Laura whispered amid her tears as Jeremiah settled back to sleep. “Mommy is here, baby.”

  When Jeremiah woke two hours later, he wiggled, then grabbed John’s nose. John jerked awake, then smiled at the baby.

  “Hey, sport,” he said, “how goes it?”

  Laura turned from where she sat on the floor in front of the hearth and smiled.

  “You two had a nice nap,” she said.

  “Yeah,” John said, leveling himself to his feet with Jeremiah in his arms. “I think I finally whipped my jet lag. I’m as good as new. This boy needs a dry diaper. We shall return.”

  “Da, da, da,” Jeremiah babbled as the pair left the room.

  Laura watched them go, her resolve gaining strength, her decision seeming more right with every beat of her racing heart.

  I’ve thought about it, John, she mentally telegraphed. When he came back into the living room, she would tell him that she would no longer deny her desire for him.

  She would agree to his proposal for them to be together, truly together, for as long as it was possible. No strings attached. No commitments. No promises. Just the now.

  But what he would never know was that she was falling more in love with him with every passing tick of time.

  A knock sounded at the door, startling Laura from her turbulent thoughts. She got to her feet and crossed the room to open the door. Betty stood outside, her arms full of grocery sacks.

  “Goodness, let me help you with those,” Laura said, reaching for a sack. “Come in out of the cold, Betty. It’s getting chillier by the minute out there.”

  Betty entered the cabin and started toward the kitchen with Laura following.

  “We’re due for snow,” Betty said, placing the sacks on the kitchen table. “I heard it on the radio in the truck when I was driving back from town.”

  John entered the kitchen, carrying Jeremiah.

  “Did I hear the word snow?” John said.

  “Yes,” Betty said, as she and Laura started emptying the sacks. “We’re getting a storm. Do you have enough wood cut and stored in a dry place, John?”

  “Yep,” he said, nodding. “Wouldn’t hurt to bring some more wood inside now, though, if one of you ladies will ride herd on this busy boy.”

  “Oh, give him to me,” Betty said. “I haven’t had a chance to get to know this young man.”

  “Why don’t you take Jeremiah in by the fire, Betty,” Laura said. “I’ll tend to these groceries.”

  “Fine,” Betty said, taking Jeremiah from John. “You should put things away where you want them, anyway, Laura, because this is your kitchen.”

  Laura’s head snapped around and she looked at John at the exact moment he looked at her.

  “Yes,” Laura said, holding his gaze. “It is my kitchen, isn’t it? I should be the one to know where everything is since I’m the cook around here. A woman likes her kitchen just so.”

  “Yes, indeed,” Betty said, then left the kitchen, chattering to Jeremiah as she went.

  “Laura?” John said, a questioning expression on his face.

  “You’d better put on your jacket before you go out to get more wood,” she said. “If you don’t, you might catch a cold and give it to Jeremiah. We don’t want him to get sick, do we?”

  “No,” John said, narrowing his eyes. “We certainly wouldn’t want that to happen, would we?” He paused. “Am I supposed to be getting a message here, Laura? Or am I reading too much into this?”

  “We’ll talk later, John,” she said, shifting her gaze to a grocery sack. “We have company at the moment.”

  “Yeah, we do,” he said gruffly, then spun around and went to get his jacket.

  Time passed quickly as Betty played with Jeremiah while Laura and John watched, the sounds of delighted baby squeals and adult laughter filling the cabin to overflowing.

  The wind picked up outside, howling like a hungry beast trying to gain entry.

  “Goodness,” Betty said finally. “Look at the time. I’d better be on my way. I certainly did enjoy playing with your son, John. Thank you for sharing him with me.”

  “He’s something, isn’t he?” John said, smiling. “He’s a terrific kid, and really smart for someone who hasn’t had his first birthday yet. Did you notice how smart he is, Betty?”

  Betty laughed as she got to her feet. “Yes, proud daddy, I noticed how smart he is.”

  “He learned patty-cake very quickly,” Laura said. “We only sang the song to him a few times and he understood what to do.”

  “Okay, okay, proud mommy,” Betty said, raising both hands. “I hereby declare Jeremiah to be the smartest year-old baby on the face of the earth.”

  “Oh, well, I didn’t mean to sound like…” Laura started, feeling a warm flush stain her cheeks.

  “A proud mommy?” Betty said. “Well, you do. Nothing wrong with that. I’ll be the proud auntie, or whatever. Well, I’m off.”

  “Betty,” Laura said, “I have a big pot of stew on the stove. Why don’t you stay and have dinner with us? We’d love to have you join us. Wouldn’t we, John?”

  “What?” he said. “Oh, sure. You bet.”

  “Well, all right,” Betty said. “But only if I help get it on the table
. I’m not used to being waited on.”

  “I hope you’re hungry,” Laura said as the two women headed for the kitchen. “I made far too much stew. We’ll be eating it for days if you don’t have a hefty serving.”

  We, we, we, John thought, as he watched Laura and Betty leave the living room. Laura must have said we a dozen times in the past hours.

  Was she letting him know that she’d thought about what he’d said, that she was agreeing to live in the now? Share what they could have together inside that cabin until he could no longer keep the turmoil his life had become beyond the door? Or was that just wishful thinking on his part?

  Hell, he didn’t know.

  John leaned forward from where he sat on the sofa and rolled a ball toward Jeremiah.

  Laura did sound like a proud mother, he mused, just as much as he sounded like a proud, bragging father. What did that mean?

  Forget it, he thought dryly. He’d never get the answers to those questions, because he didn’t have a clue as to what made women tick, didn’t even begin to understand them.

  No, if he wanted to know what was going on in Laura’s pretty head, he would have to come right out and ask her. And the minute he had her all to himself, he would do exactly that.

  Dinner was a noisy, fun-filled event, with Betty relating some tales of John’s youthful antics, causing him to groan and Laura to laugh as she hung on every word.

  Jeremiah, aware that he had an attentive audience, performed for his admirers, tossing food onto the floor, pushing away the spoon John offered, and sailing the sippy cup across the room.

  “Eat,” John finally said. “Now.”

  Jeremiah stared at his stern daddy, blinked, then opened his mouth to receive the bite of food on the spoon.

  “Well, my goodness,” Betty said. “Would you look at that? Nice going, Papa.”

  “Jeremiah’s no dope,” Laura said, smiling. “I wouldn’t argue with that tone of voice, either.”

  “Oh, yeah?” John said, cocking an eyebrow at her. “I’ll have to remember that.”

  “Heavens,” Betty said, “look out the window. It is really snowing out there. Let’s get this kitchen cleaned up, Laura, so I can be on my way while I can still see the path.”

  “No, no,” Laura said, “I’ll tend to the kitchen. Would you like John to see you safely home?”

  “That isn’t necessary,” Betty said, getting to her feet. “It’s not coming down that hard yet. If I leave now, I’ll be fine.”

  Goodbyes were said, Betty kissed Jeremiah on the top of his head, then she left the cabin. Laura began to clear the table while John fed Jeremiah the last of his dinner.

  John glanced out the window, then offered Jeremiah a spoonful of pudding for dessert. The baby swallowed the treat, then leaned forward and opened his mouth.

  “Like that, huh?” John said, giving Jeremiah another bite. “Great stuff. Chocolate glue.”

  The snow was really coming down out there, John thought. Didn’t Laura realize that she had to go all the way back up to the main house in this weather?

  Yeah, well, maybe it just hadn’t registered as she concentrated on cleaning the kitchen. The decent, gentlemanly thing to do would be to point out to Laura that she’d best be going while she could be assured of not getting lost in the swirling snow.

  The rotten, tricky thing to do would be not to mention the weather until it was too late, then Laura would have no choice but to spend the night in the cabin.

  And then?

  Well…

  “Da, da, da,” Jeremiah said, smacking the high chair tray.

  “Oops. Sorry.” John shoveled more pudding into Jeremiah’s mouth.

  Da, da, he thought. Daddy. Father. A man whose actions, attitudes, values would be observed by his son as the years went by.

  No, Jeremiah wouldn’t know if his father purposely kept silent about a snowstorm with the hopes of enticing a special, lovely lady into his bed. But John would know what he had done, and it would be tough to look his little guy in the eye.

  Ah, hell.

  John wiped Jeremiah’s mouth with a napkin, then lifted the baby out of the high chair.

  “All finished?” Laura said, glancing over at the pair. She redirected her attention to the sink full of soapy water. “I won’t be long here. You could pick a couple of Jeremiah’s toys that float and we’ll give him a bath after I’m done with the kitchen.”

  Jeremiah patted John on the cheek and John sighed in defeat.

  “Laura,” he said, “the snow is covering the path to the house. You should…Well, I mean, don’t you think you ought to…leave?”

  Laura’s hands that were submerged in the water stilled, then she turned her head slowly to look at John.

  “Do you want me to?” she said quietly. “Leave? Go back to the house for the night?”

  John frowned. “No, you know I don’t. I made myself very clear about that, but—”

  “You said I should think about it,” Laura interrupted, “and I have.”

  John’s heart began to thud rapidly as he looked at Laura intently. Jeremiah wiggled and John set him on the floor, where he began to shred a napkin that had fallen from the table.

  “You thought about what I said?” John said. “All of it?”

  “About just living in the here and now?” Laura said. “About the fact that we have no chance of a future together, but we do have this little world inside this cabin?” Laura nodded. “Yes, I’ve thought it all through and I understand the…rules, shall we say.”

  “And?” John said, hardly breathing.

  “It doesn’t matter how much it snows, John. I won’t be going out in it tonight.”

  Yes! John’s mind hammered. Laura had chosen to stay with him. This was fantastic. They were going to have more than just the one magical night they’d spent together.

  Laura was staying.

  With him.

  “You’re sure about this?” he said.

  “Yes, John, I’m sure.” Laura paused. “Jeremiah has a mouth full of paper napkin.”

  “Oh, geez.” John snatched the baby up and began to pull the paper from his mouth. “I can’t take my eyes off of you for a second, can I, sport? You are one busy little kid, which is why we parents of superior intelligence own a playpen. Let’s go.”

  Laura watched John leave the kitchen with Jeremiah, then took a shuddering breath.

  She’d done it, she thought. She’d committed herself to a no-commitment…affair. Oh, how she hated that tacky word. It wouldn’t be an affair. No, to her it would be a fantasy of sorts, the chance to live her rainbow wish for a short time, stolen out of the clutches of reality.

  And when it was over?

  Stop it, Laura, she told herself as she dunked the big pot into the water. There was nothing to be gained by looking ahead to the bleak and empty future that was waiting for her.

  Later that night, when she made love with John, she would exist in the moment at hand…live, and love, and laugh…with John.

  Chapter Eight

  The following days and nights flew by so quickly that Laura wished she could wave a magic wand and stop time.

  It was glorious…all of it.

  The snow that had fallen the evening Betty stayed for dinner melted by the next afternoon, except for patches beneath the trees.

  Laura put socks on Jeremiah’s hands and she and John took the baby outside for his first encounter with the white, cold stuff. Jeremiah was not quite certain he liked the feel of it.

  On another day the three drove into town to purchase more diapers, mittens for Jeremiah, a safety seat for the bathtub, and a device for John to strap on his back to hold Jeremiah when they went for walks.

  They saw the Reverend Tucker in one of the stores. When the good reverend became as flustered in John’s presence as his wife had, John frowned in confusion, then dismissed the episode from his mind when Harold rushed away before John could introduce him to Laura and Jeremiah.

  What John did k
now for sure was that he was becoming more proficient at caring for his son, sensing what needed to be done, then stepping in and doing it.

  The days were filled with caring for Jeremiah.

  The nights belonged to Laura and John.

  On the morning that marked a week since Laura had moved into the cabin, she woke earlier than usual, realizing that it had not been Jeremiah’s demanding wail to be rescued from his crib that had brought her from her dreamless sleep.

  She turned her head to look at John in the dim light in the bedroom, smiling softly as she gazed at him where he slept on his stomach next to her.

  Magnificent, she thought. Even while he slept there was a masculine power emanating from him, a blatant sexuality that caused the embers of desire within her to burn brighter at the mere sight of him.

  Oh, how she loved this man.

  These days and nights with John had far surpassed the hopes and dreams of her rainbow wish. He was everything and more that she had fantasized about finding in her soul mate.

  She sighed and stared up at the ceiling.

  They were doing it, just as they’d planned. Not once during their time together had they spoken of the future, nor had John faced the fact that he was a Wyndham.

  They simply existed in the moment, gloried in it, enjoyed Jeremiah, then reached eagerly for each other in the darkness of night.

  She had never been so happy, so fulfilled and content.

  So foolish.

  In quiet solitude such as this, there was nowhere to hide from the truth of what she was doing. When this fantasy ended, she would suffer heartache so intense, it would steal the very breath from her body.

  Would the tears she would shed ever end, or would she yearn for John and Jeremiah for the remainder of her days?

  Oh, Laura, don’t, she admonished herself. The world beyond the cabin door would rush into the magical existence within these walls soon enough, without her dimming the happiness she had by anticipating it.

  She sighed again, then pushed the gloomy thoughts away.

  “That was a sad sigh,” John said, his voice husky with sleep.

  Laura jerked at the sudden sound of John’s voice and turned her head to smile at him.