Home Again Read online

  The telephone rang and Bethany hurried to her desk to answer the call. A moment later, she buzzed Cedar on the intercom to say that a man named Moose wished to speak with her.

  “Hello, Moose,” Cedar said, seconds later. “Merry Christmas.”

  “Same to you, Cedar,” Moose said. “It’s only two weeks away, by golly.” He paused. “Did you get your copy of the appraisal of your house?”

  “Yes, I did.”

  “Good. Hey, listen, I need to run this by you,” he said. “I’m itching to get started on that gem of a house and so are my buddies, but my wife said I’m going to go Christmas shopping with her for the kids this year and help wrap the presents and peel potatoes for the big meal and—you get the drift. She said not even to think about that house until after the new year or she’d pop me one.”

  Cedar narrowed her eyes. “Oh, really? Your wife told you to postpone things? Mark had nothing to do with this revised schedule that puts our business on hold until the new year?”

  “Mark who?” Moose said.

  “Mmm,” Cedar said. “Very interesting. If I could see you right now, Moose, I have a feeling I would be witnessing your nose growing.”

  “I knew I couldn’t pull this off,” Moose said, with a groan. “I’d make a lousy spy. I crumble under female pressure. Don’t tell Mark I blew it, okay? He told me it was very important that you stay put and not contract for a new house until the holidays are over. Besides, I already told you there was no rush so this whole conversation is nuts. I’m sorry, Cedar.”

  Cedar sighed. “That’s okay, Moose. I’ve been so busy, I haven’t had a moment to even think about house shopping. As far as Mark pulling strings and pushing buttons…well, I’ll address that issue with him.”

  “Oh, man, that boy is in trouble. Then I’ll be in deeper trouble because he’ll know I messed up and…this is bad, very bad.”

  “I’ll make clear that I figured it out on my own, Moose,” Cedar said. “Have a wonderful Christmas and we’ll think about the house in a few weeks.”

  “Thanks, Cedar. See ya.”

  “See ya,” she said, then replaced the receiver slowly.

  Mark Chandler, she thought, you are rotten to the core. He was making certain that she would be free to move from her falling-down house into his super-duper house without the hassle of breaking a contract for a new place. Really sneaky.

  And what are you? she asked herself in the next instant. She was living a lie every time she was with Mark. Talk about rotten. She didn’t have the right to confront Mark about his scheme. Moose was off the hook, the big softy. Oh, well.

  “Cheer up, Cedar,” she ordered herself aloud. “Think happy thoughts. Think about…yes, think about bunny wallpaper.”

  The following Saturday night, after yet another busy week, Cedar joined Mark and Joey for a live performance of the Nutcracker. Mark looked handsome in his dark-blue suit with a pale-blue shirt and dark-blue tie. Joey looked adorable in his gray slacks and holiday sweater with a reindeer prancing across his little chest. Joey was totally captivated by the show, but Cedar noticed that Mark kept shifting in his seat and looking at his watch.

  “Sit still,” Cedar finally whispered. “What is your problem?”

  “I hate ballets,” Mark muttered, his voice hushed. “Every time the story gets rolling, they stop and dance forever. It drives me up the wall.”

  Cedar laughed. “Well, Joey is enthralled, so grit your teeth and suffer through this.”

  “I’m having a banana split when we go for ice cream after this thing,” Mark said. “The bigger the better because I’ve earned it.”

  “Shh,” a woman in front of them hissed, turning to glare.

  “Sorry,” Cedar said.

  “I don’t want to be here,” Mark said, close to Cedar’s ear.

  “Don’t pout. You can’t always have your own way, you know.”

  “But some things are so important that I’ll do whatever I possibly can to accomplish what I’ve set out to do.” Mark looked into her eyes. “Like convincing you to marry me.”

  “Like conning Moose into calling me with his phony story?” she said, raising her eyebrows.

  “He told me you nailed him.” Mark chuckled. “Well, you win some and lose some along the way. The thing that matters is the final outcome. Why don’t you put me out of my misery and accept my proposal now, instead of making me wait until after the holidays are over? Come on, Cedar. Say yes.”

  “Shh,” the woman in front of them hissed once more.

  “Thank you, ma’am,” Cedar said, then redirected her attention to the characters on the stage.

  “Hell,” Mark muttered, then looked at his watch again.

  The stress of waiting for the big discussion with Cedar was getting to him, he admitted to himself. Christmas was only a week away. It would be sensational to be able to tell Joey on Christmas morning that Cedar was to become a part of their family, that she was adopting a baby sister for Joey and that Oreo would be moving into the house, too.

  Mark shifted in the chair again, then looked at his watch again.

  Why did Cedar get to call all the shots? he thought as he appraised the woman beside him in the mauve suit and pale-pink silk blouse. The man-andwoman part of their lives was just as important as the father-and-mother part. Surely Cedar could see that Joey was coming along great and there was no need for them to postpone making plans for a future that included all of them…together.

  The heck with this schedule Cedar had put in place. They were going to have a serious discussion tonight after they got Joey tucked into bed. Yes, sir, by damn, tonight was the night.

  Mark jerked in his seat as the audience erupted in cheers and applause.

  “The performance is over, Mark, and you lived to tell about it,” Cedar said, as they got to their feet.

  “It was way cool,” Joey said. “Didn’t you like it, Uncle Mark?”

  “It wasn’t exactly my thing,” Mark said, pulling the knot of his tie down several inches, “but I’m glad you enjoyed it, Joey. I’m ready for some ice cream. Yep, we’ll stop for a snack, then get you home and into bed, buddy. You must be tired because it’s already past your bedtime.”

  “I’m not tired,” Joey said.

  “Sure you are,” Mark said. “Let’s hustle over to the ice cream place, then go straight home.”

  Just over an hour later, Cedar and Mark tucked Joey into bed, kissed him good-night, then Mark turned the globe upside down to produce the fluffy snow that floated over the skaters.

  “Sleep well, Joey,” Cedar said.

  “Yeah,” Joey mumbled, then yawned. “You, too.”

  Mark chuckled. “Down for the count.”

  When they’d returned to the living room, Cedar declined Mark’s offer of something to drink after settling onto the sofa. Mark remained standing.

  “All right,” she said, crossing her legs and tapping her foot. “Are you ready to tell me what’s going on? You’ve been acting weird all evening. And don’t try to tell me it’s because you don’t like ballets.”

  Mark sank into an easy chair and cleared his throat, then cleared it again. “Okay, here goes,” he said finally. “Cedar, wouldn’t you agree that Joey is doing extremely well, except, of course, for the few times that he got upset about his parents, which is understandable because after all it hasn’t been that long since they—anyway, he’s doing good, right?”

  “Yes, he is,” Cedar acknowledged, nodding. “Much better, in fact, than I expected under the circumstances. I’m very pleased.”

  “Dandy. Now, due to Joey’s fine emotional progress I believe that adjustments should be made in the scheduling of things.”

  “What things?” Cedar asked, frowning.

  “Things like…like us,” Mark said. “There’s no reason why we can’t discuss our future together, Cedar. It isn’t necessary to wait until the holidays are over. Think how great it would be to tell Joey on Christmas that you and I are getting married, that you
’re moving in here with Oreo and that a few weeks after that he’ll have a new baby sister named Faith.”

  “Oh, but…” Cedar started, feeling the color drain from her face.

  “Hear me out.” Mark raised one hand. “I love you, Cedar, and you love me. There’s nothing standing in our way of becoming a family. We could include Joey in the whole deal, too, take him along when we pick out our wedding rings, let him help us get the nursery ready for Faith and—”

  “No,” Cedar snapped, getting to her feet. “Stop it, Mark. Don’t push me like this. We agreed to wait, to have a lovely Christmas with Joey and…you’re going to ruin everything by insisting we address all this now. Just stop it.”

  “Why?” He got to his feet and crossed the room to stand a few feet away from her. “I don’t understand. Damn it, Cedar, there’s something you’re not telling me and I want to know what it is.”

  “I’ll tell you after the holidays,” she said, her voice rising. “That’s when we agreed to discuss all this.”

  “There’s no reason to wait,” Mark said, matching her volume. “Are you, or are you not going to be my wife, Cedar?”

  “No!”

  “Why the hell not?” Mark yelled.

  Tears filled Cedar’s eyes as she opened her mouth to reply. Before she could speak she gasped as she saw Joey enter the room. He was dragging Puncho the clown toward them.

  When Joey reached them, he set Puncho squarely between them, looked at Mark, then Cedar, then back at Mark, a stricken expression on his face. Without saying a word, he turned and went back down the hallway.

  “Oh, God,” Cedar whispered, as tears spilled onto her cheeks. “Joey told Puncho his innermost secrets, his feelings, and he felt so much better for having done it. He thinks Puncho can solve our problems, too. That’s why he brought his clown to us. Did you see the expression on Joey’s face? He’s devastated because we’re shouting at each other.”

  “Yeah, I know,” Mark said, dragging a restless hand through his hair. “I feel like the scum of the earth for upsetting him. Great father I am.” He sighed. “I suppose I should say we’ll go back to your schedule for discussing our future, but I can’t do that, Cedar. Not after you’ve said…yelled…that you have no intention of marrying me. I need to know why you won’t become my wife.”

  Mark glanced toward the hallway, looked at Puncho, then took Cedar’s hand. “Let’s sit down and talk…quietly,” he said. “This can’t be postponed any longer.”

  Struggling against her tears, Cedar settled onto the sofa with Mark, both of them shifting slightly to face each other.

  “Why?” Mark said, looking into Cedar’s eyes.

  Cedar drew a shuddering breath before she attempted to speak.

  “You know that I was married,” she said, meeting Mark’s gaze. “Gary and I were high-school sweethearts and we got married right after we graduated. I worked as a secretary in a bank and he was a mechanic. We were blissfully happy even though we lived in a dinky little apartment and lived paycheck to paycheck. Then I got pregnant and even though we couldn’t afford a baby at that time, we were thrilled. When I was five months along, I had a miscarriage.”

  “Oh, man, that’s rough,” Mark said, frowning.

  “It was a very…violent…miscarriage and I was hemorrhaging out of control. The baby was gone and the only way to save my life was for the doctors to perform a hysterectomy. I was nineteen years old and told I would never have children.

  “It was a very stressful and sad time and Gary struggled with the fact that I would never have his baby. Months later, he told me that he just couldn’t deal with it, knowing he would never be the father of his own child, that he couldn’t accept the concept of adopting someone else’s baby. He…he said he wanted a divorce.”

  Mark muttered an earthy expletive and took Cedar’s hands in his.

  “I ran home to my parents for comfort and hardly functioned for months,” Cedar continued. “Then I decided I had to get on with my life, having made a very major decision. I would never love again. Never. My inability to have children would eventually destroy any relationship I might enter into, and I was determined to protect myself from that pain.

  “I got my degree in child psychology so I could direct my maternal instincts toward troubled kids to teach them how to be happy, how to smile again. Those kids would fill the empty place in my heart that longed for a family of my own.”

  “Ah, Cedar,” Mark said, shaking his head.

  “Everything went as planned until…until I met you, Mark. You and Joey. I didn’t mean to fall in love with you. I was furious with myself that I had lost control of my emotions. I should have told you the truth early on and ended things, but I was so happy with you, cherishing all the memories I was collecting like precious gems, and…I was selfish to do what I did and I’m sorry, so very sorry.

  “Now you understand why I can’t marry you. You’ve already spoken of the child we’ll create together when Faith gets older.” Tears spilled onto Cedar’s cheeks. “But that isn’t going to happen, Mark. I can’t give you a child and that truth will chip away at what we have together until there’s nothing left.” She pulled her hands free and dashed the tears from her face. “I’m sorry I led you on, didn’t tell you sooner. Maybe we can pretend everything is all right so Joey can have a nice Christmas, then I’ll disappear from your life the way I should have weeks ago.”

  “No,” Mark said.

  “Oh, Mark, I know you’re angry at my deception, but can’t we think about Joey? About how he needs this Christmas as part of his healing process?”

  “No. I mean…no, you’re misunderstanding me, Cedar.” Mark got to his feet. “Let me show you something.”

  Mark crossed the room to the Christmas tree and retrieved a present. Cedar got to her feet and met him halfway as he was returning to her, Puncho standing beside them.

  “Open this,” Mark said, handing her the small gift.

  “What is it?”

  “You’ll see,” he said.

  Cedar hesitated, then removed the bright paper, dropping it to the floor.

  “What…” she said, frowning.

  “That’s a red sweater for Oreo,” Mark said, “and those red booties are for Faith because I couldn’t find a bright red baby sweater. They’re for our family photo op. Our family. We’ll have a son named Joey. A daughter named Faith. A cat named Oreo. And we’ll add a dog at some point to round out the pet part.

  “Ah, Cedar, don’t you see how blessed we are already? A boy and a girl. A son, a daughter. What more could we ask for? On top of that, we love each other, by damn, and it just doesn’t get any better than that.”

  “But you said we’d create a child together and—”

  “I know I said that.” Mark smiled. “And I lost sleep over it, too, because you’re dealing with the original worry machine when it comes to providing for my family the way I want to. Three kids? How was I going to put braces on three sets of teeth, feed and clothe three, put three through college?

  “But I figured I’d have to sweat it in silence because you deserved the right to have a baby and I couldn’t deprive you of that. I knew in my heart that Joey and Faith were all I needed as a father, but I resigned myself to getting ulcers, stewing about providing for all of us while keeping my mouth shut about it.”

  “Mark?” Cedar sniffed, clutching the sweater and booties to her heart. “Are you really saying that…? I can’t believe this.”

  “Cedar, I’m so sorry you had a rough time way back when. It must have been hell. But you have just taken a load off my back that was weighing me down something fierce.”

  “But what if you change your mind?” Cedar asked, “realize we could afford three children and—”

  “Then we’ll adopt another one.” Mark threw up his arms. “But don’t count on that happening because I’ll probably take five years deciding if we can budget in the dog.” He framed her face in his hands. “Ah, Cedar, we have it all right now. A neve
r-ending love for each other, a super son and a precious daughter on the way. Oh, and your weird fat cat. Marry me. Be my wife, my life’s partner, the mother of our children, Joey and Faith. Please?”

  “Oh, dear heaven.” Fresh tears filled Cedar’s eyes. “Yes, I’ll marry you. Thank you for being you, for being a money worrywart and…oh, God, I love you so much.”

  With Oreo’s sweater and Faith’s booties held in one hand, Cedar flung her arms around Mark’s neck as he wrapped his arms around her to pull her close. He captured her mouth in a searing kiss that sealed their commitment to all the tomorrows they would share as a family.

  “Hooray,” Joey yelled, running into the room.

  Cedar and Mark jerked apart, then Mark scooped up Joey into his arms.

  “Hey, Joey, thanks for the use of your Puncho,” Mark said. “You’re a smart guy. So, how about it? Shall we be a family? I’ll be the dad, Cedar the mom, you’re the son and you’ll have a baby sister named Faith and a cat named Oreo.”

  “And a dog?” Joey said.

  “Don’t push your luck,” Mark said. “Well, how does the family photo op I just described sound to you, buddy?”

  “Cool,” Joey yelled, punching one fist in the air. “Way cool.”

  Mark smiled and extended his other arm toward Cedar, who stepped into his embrace eagerly, nestling her head on his chest as she splayed a hand on Joey’s back.

  “Way, way cool,” she said, tears of joy in her eyes.

  No one noticed that the smile on Puncho the clown’s face suddenly seemed to grow bigger and brighter.

  Ten Months Later

  “Okay, folks, I know you’re warm under those lights, so let’s get going,” the photographer said. “You look real spiffy in your red sweaters…all of you, including the cat and the dog. Yep, this will make a dandy Christmas card. You want all your names printed below the picture, right? Cedar and Mark, Joey and Faith, Oreo and Pretzel. Got it. Ready? Then smile, Chandler family. That’s it. Perfect. You’re absolutely perfect.”