Flesh For Fantasy Read online

  Barbara laughed. “I never even tried. I had a few friends who invited me to go with them several years ago. I got there, put on boots that hurt my feet, took off the boots and spent the day in the lodge drinking hot chocolate and eating chili.”

  “Not together, I hope,” Jay said.

  “Not together, but I think I gained two pounds that day. So much for exercise.”

  Jay gave her an appraising look from her hair to her feet. “Not a problem,” he said. “You look just right to me.”

  “Barbara,” a familiar voice said, “there you are. I’ve been looking for you.”

  “Hello, Steve,” Barbara said. “You know Jay Preston.”

  Steve nodded. “Preston.” He turned to Barbara and put a friendly arm around her waist. “I wanted you to meet Lisa.” He reached out and draped his other arm around the shoulders of a strikingly gorgeous woman. “Lisa, this is Barbara.”

  The woman smiled warmly and reached out a hand. “It’s so nice to meet you. Steve talks about you so much.”

  Weakly, Barbara extended a hand. “It’s nice to meet you, too.” He didn’t tell me much about you, she thought, and there was obviously a lot to tell. Lisa was a knockout in a long silver sequined gown.

  “This is so great,” Steve said. “My two girls.” He hugged them both. “Dinner will be served soon. Will you sit with us?”

  Jay put his arm around Barbara’s shoulders. “I think Barbara intended to eat with me.” He looked at Barbara and smiled.

  “Yes, Steve,” she said quickly. “Jay and I were just in the middle of something, if you don’t mind.”

  “Of course not,” Steve said. “Come on, Lisa. I see some people I want you to meet.” The two walked away. As Barbara gazed after them, she felt a glass thrust into her hand.

  “Have some champagne,” Jay said. “It’s good for what ails you.”

  “Does it show that much?” Barbara said, unable to pretend.

  “Only to someone as perceptive as I am. And don’t worry. I’m very good at cheering people up. I do limericks, bad jokes, and I promise not to sing while we dance.”

  “There’s nothing between Steve and me, you know.”

  “I know. I do understand. And I’ll leave you alone if you like. That business of sitting together at dinner was just for his benefit. Unless you’d like to.”

  Barbara turned from watching Steve and Lisa talk to one of the other partners and said, “I’d like that.” She grinned and felt her shoulders relaxed. “This feels like a bad movie. Shunned by her boss, the heroine,” she tapped her chest, “that’s me, finally notices the handsome hero.” She patted the lapel of Jay’s tuxedo. “That’s you. Then they fall madly in love and live happily ever after.”

  “Not ever after,” Jay said, covering her palm with his. “I’m not that type of guy. I live for the now, not for next year. But, my love, I could definitely fall in lust with you.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “Let me lay my cards on the table. I find you very attractive and you fit one of my favorite fantasies.”

  “Oh I do, do I?”

  “Yes. I know more about you than you might wish. You’re in love with your boss, or at least you think you are. You’re an innocent, inexperienced woman who hasn’t learned her own power yet. And you do have power. You radiate with it. But you don’t understand it. I want to teach you so you can have anything you want.”

  “What power are you talking about? You’re confusing me. This is some kind of line you use with people like me and I don’t think I like it.”

  “It’s not strictly speaking a line, because it’s entirely honest. And you say you don’t like it, but I have my fingers on your pulse and it’s pounding right now. This whole thing excites you and you don’t quite know what to do about it. I won’t press you for the moment.”

  The doors to the dining room opened and Jay took Barbara’s glass and put it down on a nearby table. “Will you sit with me?”

  Barbara thought about how much this man was like Maggie. He was a free thinker, dangerous, charming, and totally unsuitable with goals that were completely different from hers. But she was terribly excited. She hesitated only a moment, gazed at Steve and the knockout, then back at Jay. It’s time, she told herself. As a matter of fact, I’m long overdue. “I’d like that,” Barbara said, taking Jay’s arm as they joined the stream of people walking toward the dining room.

  During the almost three-hour dinner, Jay was a perfect gentleman. They talked, laughed, and argued, with each other and with the other couples at their table. Between courses, they danced to the music of the combo, but Jay kept a discreet distance between them. After coffee was served, the place began to empty out. Steve and Lisa stopped at their table to say good night and Barbara smiled and wished them a good evening. The pain of seeing her boss with Ms. Knockout on his arm had diminished considerably.

  As the band began a slow song, Jay took her hand and once again led her to the small wooden dance floor, now crowded with the few other couples still left. Jay took her in his arms and held her against him and their feet moved reflexively to the music. His mouth beside her ear, Jay said, “I’ve tried to give you some time to think about me as a real person, not as a lecherous private eye, but now the evening is almost over and I might not see you again, except in the office. I want to tell you again that I’m in lust with you and I want you in my bed. I want to lay you out on the sheets and touch you and lick you. I want to make you want me so badly you beg me to take you. I want to want you so badly that I do.” He pressed his hand in the small of her back, leaning the bulge in his trousers against her belly.

  Barbara couldn’t speak. She was barely able to think.

  “I want to do strange, unusual, extremely pleasurable things with you, things that will make you blush and scream and cry out in joy. But nothing long term. I live for now. Nothing exclusive. I love women and I love making love to them.”

  “Again I’m speechless.”

  “Let’s dance for a few more minutes, then I’ll take you to your car. I want you to think about everything I’ve said and I will call you tomorrow night. I want you to say yes, but on realistic terms. Will you think about it?”

  “Will I think about anything else?”

  Jay’s warm chuckle tickled her ear. “Good.”

  Half an hour later, Jay dropped Barbara at her car. “I’ll call you tomorrow, but if you haven’t decided, I’ll call you the following evening. Take as much time as you like. And understand that I do take no for an answer and I won’t pressure you, except to promise you that it will be wonderful.”

  It was fortunate that, since the hotel was only two blocks from the office, Barbara had driven this route every day for many years, for she drove in a total fog. She knew what Jay was asking. He wanted to have an affair with her. A “no commitment, no tomorrow” affair. No, she told herself, It was impossible.

  But God, how she was turned on. She didn’t know what strange, unusual things he had in mind, but she was so curious. She wasn’t stupid. She knew about oral sex, bondage, all the kinky things she had read about in novels, and she was fascinated. Isn’t that how the cobra entices its victims? Doesn’t he fascinate them until he can bite?

  But what is the downside to all this? That nice girls don’t? Is that a realistic reason not to do something that might be so good? She was so confused.

  She wasn’t at all surprised to see Maggie sitting in her kitchen when she arrived home. “How was it?” she asked, then hesitated. “Something happened. Did you spend the evening with Steve? Did he ask you out? Tell me everything.”

  Barbara did, with little comment from Maggie. “And Jay wants me to go to bed with him. No strings. No nothing. Just making love.”

  Momentarily Maggie thought about Angela’s desires. “Get her married to that cute lawyer. Home, kids….” If Maggie wanted to get to heaven, the best way was to do what Angela wanted, wasn’t it? She should tell Barbara to reject Jay out of hand and concentrate on Ste
ve. But she couldn’t. Jay was right for Barbara now and what she wanted what was good for Barbara. “You have to do what you think is best,” Maggie said. “But that’s sometimes hard to sort out. I guess my philosophy would be, If it feels good and doesn’t hurt anyone, do it.”

  “I keep thinking that going to bed with a man just for sex makes me a bad girl. What would my mother say?”

  “From what I heard about your mother, both from you and from the girls…” She gazed at the ceiling, “I think she’d tell you to do what you want with none of the good and bad labels.”

  “I’m so confused.”

  “Sleep on it,” Maggie said. “You don’t have to decide tonight.” As usual, to end the discussion, Maggie walked out the kitchen door and disappeared. Barbara went up to bed and, for the first time in her life, slept naked.

  “I need to be honest with you, Jay,” Barbara said into the phone the following evening. “I’m intrigued, but I’m scared to death, too. I don’t know whether I want to have an affair with you that has no future. I wasn’t brought up that way.”

  “Oh Barbara, you’re wonderful. I completely understand. Look, how about this? Let me take you to dinner next Saturday. Just dinner. No commitment to do anything except enjoy each other’s company.”

  “Well…” Barbara sat on the edge of her bed, playing with the hem of the pillowcase.

  “We had fun together last evening and I’m not willing to let that go. Do you like Italian food? Not spaghetti, but real zuppe de peche, good osso buco with orzo. And they make the best tiramisu.”

  “Actually, I love Italian food.” He’s such a sweet man, she thought. And he seems to understand how I feel.

  “As I remember, you told me you’re a great cook, but let’s let someone else do the cooking and we can get to know each other better. Please.”

  Barbara vacillated. She liked Jay a lot, but she wasn’t ready for what he wanted, and she knew that hadn’t changed. She didn’t want a sleazy affair. Did she? “I did enjoy last evening a great deal.” She took a deep breath. “All right. Just dinner.”

  “Great.”

  They made arrangements for Jay to pick Barbara up at her house the following Saturday evening.

  “Maggie,” Barbara said the following evening, “I’m really nervous about this dinner date.”

  “What are you afraid of exactly?”

  Barbara sat at the dinner table, dirty dinner dishes spread around her, a cup of coffee cooling in her hand. “I’ve been trying to sort that out. I think I’m afraid that I’ll be tempted to jump into bed with the guy. He’s nice, warm, honest, and sexy as hell.”

  “And what if you do jump into bed with him?”

  “I guess I’m afraid that I’ll hate myself the next morning.”

  “You’re right, that is a risk. So the question becomes, Is the risk worth the reward?”

  “I never thought of it that way.”

  “Well, let’s think of it that way now. If you do get involved with Jay, what’s the reward?”

  Barbara grinned. “He’s a very sexy man and, to be perfectly honest, he turns me on. My insides get all squishy, my knees get weak, and well, I think it would be great.”

  “Okay, what’s the reward if you tell him no.”

  Barbara considered for a few minutes. “I won’t have any regrets the next morning.”

  “You won’t?”

  Barbara sipped at her cold coffee. “I will have regrets. I will regret all the things I didn’t do.”

  “I think my job is to make you see all sides of this problem. You know what side I’m on. I think good sex is the best thing going. You’re a big girl, and perfectly able to understand what you’re getting yourself into, and you’re no virgin. You understand, as I’m sure Jay does, about safe sex, condoms all that. You know how I feel, but it must be your decision.”

  Barbara pictured the scene, Jay stroking her hand at dinner, kissing her fingers. She’d read enough novels to know that once the hormones kicked in, resistance was futile. Then it wouldn’t be her responsibility. “He’ll convince me. I know he will and I’ll do it.”

  But Jay didn’t pressure her. Villa Josephina turned out to be a small Italian restaurant in Tuckahoe, with a round hostess who obviously knew Jay from frequent visits. They were seated at a table off to one side. Barbara took one look at the extensive menu and, her mouth dry and her appetite gone, she let Jay order for both of them. At first, Barbara was quite nervous and unable to do justice to a wonderful shrimp appetizer, but as the meal progressed she relaxed. Through the courses they talked. About everything but sex. Barbara began to feel like she was having dinner with an old friend, not a would-be lover. And, although he was a sensual man, he wasn’t turning her on. As a matter of fact, she thought he was making an effort not to even indirectly refer to anything sexual. He had even dressed in a dark green flannel sport shirt and shaker sweater, muting any sensuality.

  “I would offer you a brandy,” Jay said to Barbara as the waiter brought small cups of strong espresso, “but I don’t want alcohol to cloud your mind. Or mine, for that matter.”

  “Is that why you didn’t order any wine?”

  “I know what’s going through your head. I know that this is a difficult decision for you, and I want you to be clear-headed.” It was his first reference to the topic that had been so much on Barbara’s mind. He took her hand across the soft blue tablecloth. “Whatever you decide is fine with me, but it must be your decision.”

  Barbara lowered her gaze.

  “Okay,” Jay said. “I understand.”

  He hadn’t convinced her, pressured her or made her decision any easier. And without a push, she didn’t think she could go through with it. She sipped her coffee. “Thanks. I think I’d like you to take me home,” Barbara said.

  Quickly Jay paid the check and drove Barbara back to her house in Fleetwood. He walked her to her door and said, “Do you think we might just have dinner together once in a while? I haven’t enjoyed an evening this much in a long time.” A boyish grin lit his face. “And maybe you’ll change your mind.”

  “Kiss me,” Barbara said, uncertain as to where the words had come from.

  Jay looked startled, then put his hands on her shoulders. Drawing her close, he brushed his mouth across hers. He touched the tip of his tongue to the joining of her lips, then cupped her face with his hands.

  Barbara placed her palms against Jay’s chest and relaxed into the kiss. He was an expert, softly taking her mouth and possessing it. He explored and tasted until she parted her lips and allowed his tongue free access. Slowly she slid her hands up his chest to the back of his neck, holding him close. His fingers slowly slid up the sides of her neck and tunneled through her thick hair, caressing her scalp.

  Finally he leaned back, his eyes caressing her face. “You kiss like an expert,” he said. “I thought of you as being so innocent.”

  “I don’t know where that came from. It must be that you do that to me,” Barbara admitted.

  Jay ran his fingers through her hair. “You know this silver stripe is incredibly sexy. Are you a witch?”

  “No, of course not.”

  “What would you do if you were? Right now.”

  “That’s an interesting question,” Barbara said, smiling ruefully. “I think I’d make it tomorrow morning.”

  Jay cocked his head to one side. “Why?”

  “Because tonight is causing me so much confusion. By tomorrow morning decisions would have been made.”

  “Do you want me to make the decision for you?”

  “Yes.” She paused. “No.”

  “What do you want?”

  She looked into Jay’s eyes and a slow smile spread across her face. “I want you to come inside with me.”

  Barbara watched Jay’s eyes light up. “Are you sure?”

  Barbara let go of Jay long enough to find her keys and unlock the front door. “Yes, I’m sure.”

  They walked into the house and Barbara put the
ir coats in the living room. Then she slid back into Jay’s arms and raised her face to his. He accepted the invitation readily. He brushed soft kisses on her eyes, her cheeks, her mouth, all the time keeping his hands on her back.

  Barbara realized what she wanted. Her body was alive, impatient, unsatisfied. She ran her hands over the back of Jay’s deep green sweater, then slid under it to touch his soft flannel shirt and the hard flesh beneath. She wanted, needed, him to make the next move. Push me, she cried. Seduce me. “Please.”

  “Oh, how I want you,” he moaned, kissing her deeply again. When he pulled away, he looked around. “You know, living rooms are nice, but how about a nice horizontal surface? I want to make long, slow love to you, not paw and pet like teenagers.”

  Barbara motioned toward the stairs and together they walked up.

  A small light was burning in the corner of the cozy room. Her bed was covered with a patchwork comforter, one pattern of which matched the curtains. Another of the patchwork fabrics covered the armchair on one side of the room, and the polished wood floor was covered with a multicolored braided rug.

  This room is cleaner than it has been in weeks, Barbara realized as they entered. Maggie must have tidied up after I left for dinner. She glanced at the bed. Maggie had even changed the sheets. She had planned for this. She had known or hoped that Barbara would be here, like this, with Jay. Thanks, Barbara almost said aloud. She smiled silently as she watched Jay pull off his sweater. “Can I take that?” For want of something to do, she folded it and put it on a chair.

  Jay came up behind her and slid his hands around her waist. “I know this is awkward for you,” he said, his lips against the tender skin beneath her ear. “Let me lead. I promise you will like where we go together.” He held her back against his hard chest and Barbara could feel the heat of his body against hers. He nuzzled her neck, planting small soft kisses on the skin he could reach. Then he turned her in his arms and again pressed his mouth against hers. She smelled his after-shave, spicy and mixed with the natural male smell of him.

  Slowly the heat began to build. He kissed her over and over until all she was aware of was his mouth. She felt him press his lower body against hers so she could get used to his arousal. When he pressed, she found herself pressing back.