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  “Your sense, Jenn, of the importance of these mysterious experiences is more accurate than you realize. You, and others you have encountered, have been experiencing the intersection of the realms of heaven and earth, and I have come to guide you on a journey into the place where these two realms meet. It is in this place that you will discover answers to your deepest questions.”

  Margaret’s confirming words ignited a tiny spark of courage inside me.

  “I am so glad you are here to help me with this,” I said. “I have been afraid to talk about these mysterious events for fear that people would think I was out of my mind.”

  “Ah.” Margaret nodded, and then asked, “Tell me, child, what exactly is it you have been afraid to talk about?”

  The Assignment

  All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, so that everyone who belongs to God may be proficient, equipped for every good work.

  2 TIMOTHY 3:16–17

  My lovely angel waited patiently as I willed that spark of courage to stay alive. After taking a slow, calming breath, I began my answer. “I have long believed that God has been speaking to me through mysterious Divine encounters. And, as I guess you already know, I am not alone in this. I have heard stories shared by many others—including family, friends, members of my faith family, and patients I have ministered to. All of us believe that our Creator is speaking to us, and more important that he wants to be heard. I think that my deepest questions are Why is he speaking to us? and What does he want us to know? And, Margaret, there has been an urgent tug on my heart that tells me that the fear of sharing and discussing our encounters with God keeps us from understanding something of crucial importance. That desire you mentioned . . . well, if there are important truths to be learned, I want to discover them and have the courage to share them with others.”

  Margaret nodded again. Her eyes sparked with an intensity that had not been there a moment before, and I heard something resembling a low rumble of thunder echo in the distance as she began to speak.

  “Your desire to overcome your fear and to talk about how God speaks to you comes from the desire of the Spirit that lives within you to be heard. The Book of Amos counsels, ‘Behold, the days are coming,’ declares the Lord God, ‘when I will send a famine on the land—not a famine of bread, nor a thirst for water, but of hearing the words of the Lord.’ Sadly, this is true for a great many people in the world you live in. Many are not listening, or are afraid to listen for the Creator’s voice.

  “But you, Jenn, are listening. I cannot tell you how much that pleases Our Father! God is speaking to you. People all over the world, every day, experience Divine encounters in many different ways. Some recognize the truth of these encounters and give wonderful testimonies, but a great many more do not. Their experiences are discounted as conscience, coincidence, intuition, or imagination. It is imperative, dear child, that all the people of the earth listen to God’s voice, because he is the source of life and truth.

  “Your own encounters with the realm of heaven have helped you to develop a very personal sense about who God is and how he speaks to you. Would you share a few of your insights with me now?”

  I thought for a moment, and then I began to describe some of my most treasured impressions. “For me, discovering God and hearing his voice was not a thunderous-voice-booming-from-the-clouds event. Instead, God made himself known gently and gradually as I grew up. Then, as I actively began to seek a full-blown relationship with him, I began to experience God on an entirely different level. His presence, and his communication with me, grew in depth and intensity.

  “As I have lived my life, particularly during the trials, struggles, and disappointments, God has made his presence known in beautiful, and mysterious, ways. It seems every time God shows up in one of those heavenly intersections, something happens that goes beyond the world’s definition of normal. At first, this was frightening and confusing, but eventually, his presence and the way he communicates with me became a part of who I am. Sometimes I am comfortable with that, and sometimes not so much. But I do know this: There has to be a reason for what God is doing in my life.”

  Margaret reached over and gave my hand an encouraging squeeze. “There certainly is a reason, my girl!” she exclaimed. “And we will get to that later. Right now I want you tell me a little more about these mysterious ways God speaks to you.”

  I felt the familiar fear of discussing this subject try to resurface, and this time I ignored it. “One of the most powerful ways God speaks to me is through dream visions, which began in my teenage years. This is difficult to talk about because many people just don’t believe this can happen. But I know visions do happen. I have experienced them for many years—they are powerful—and I know without question God is speaking to me. For reasons of his own, God decided to communicate with me primarily while I sleep.”

  I shot a rueful glance at Margaret. “Probably,” I said with a sigh, “because my waking mind is far too cluttered with everyday trivialities.” Margaret made a noise, something between a snicker and a snort. She obviously knew me pretty well.

  “Child,” Margaret said fondly, “you are describing what we in heaven call the giftings—the gifts of the Spirit that God provides to help you live the life he has ordained for you. Your dream visions are one of these gifts. God has very specific reasons for the gifts he gives to each of his children. He knows you intimately and he gifts accordingly. And while it may take a lifetime to understand and to use them, be assured that these wonderful and mysterious gifts are living proof that God is truly with you.”

  The truth in her words sent a delicious shiver through me. Margaret smiled and her intense blue eyes looked deeply into mine. “Your own assurance that your encounters and gifts are real is all you need to begin this journey with me. As for the others you mention who doubt—people will always question what they do not experience or do not understand. That is human nature. All of God’s children have the ability to encounter the Divine but must have hearts and minds that are open to the possibility. It is the nature of God to faithfully pursue the human heart, and when one becomes open and vulnerable to him, well, that, my girl, is when miracles happen. Anything is possible for one who is willing to believe.

  “This brings us to the beginning of our journey, Jenn, and we both have our assignments. I am to guide you in the discovery of the deep and timeless truths God is revealing, and you are to put away your fears and embrace the concept that heaven is closer than you think. To do this, you must give yourself permission to approach our journey with the faith of a child—with trust, expectation, and belief.

  “Listen, now, and be encouraged by a passage from Scripture that will start us off splendidly. Deuteronomy 29:29 says, ‘The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things that are revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may do all the words of this law.’ How wonderful it is that you have the desire to discover and to share with others Divine truths as they are revealed to you! I say we approach this assignment with joy and great anticipation. Are you ready?”

  “ I . . . think so,” I said slowly, “but how do we begin?”

  I must have looked like a deer caught in the headlights because Margaret laughed and said, “We will start at the very beginning, of course. We begin with the faith of a child.”

  Margaret clapped her hands and a loud crack filled the air around us, accompanied by that same rumble of distant thunder. A mysterious door had just been flung open, and I knew that our journey had begun.

  Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

  I have called you by name, you are mine.

  ISAIAH 43:1

  As the thundering sounds slowly subsided into gentle echoes, Margaret looked over and gave me a bright smile, showing all of her perfect white teeth. It did wonders to calm my pounding heart. Then, without another word, she raised her hands toward the sky and began to recite a portion
of one of my favorite psalms.

  For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

  As she finished, Margaret said, “You, Jennifer, were fearfully and wonderfully made, for each child is a unique and precious creation of heaven. I think this is a very good place to start—tell me about your beginning.”

  And so I began. “I was born in Detroit, Michigan, in the wee hours of the morning. At the same moment, some two hundred miles away in Anderson, Indiana, my grandmother, whom we called Nana, was awakened in her bedroom by a voice exclaiming, ‘Mother!’ Nana sat up, startled, because the voice she heard sounded remarkably like my mother calling out to her. She knew immediately that she had to get on a train to make the journey to Detroit. I have often wondered: Was it an angel who spoke to Nana as I was being born?”

  I peered over at my new friend, hoping for an answer, but Margaret only nodded for me to continue.

  “This strange type of mysterious communication happened at the very beginning of my life, and has occurred throughout my life with startling frequency. My mother has a vivid memory that she has shared with me on more than one occasion. I was not more than five years old, riding in the car with her. Sitting in the backseat, I let out one of my signature squeaky yawns—a yawn accompanied by a not very ladylike sound, like a door opening on creaky old hinges. My mother playfully exclaimed, ‘Jennifer! What was that?’ I replied very matter-of-factly, ‘That was God talking.’ If I had only known how prophetic this statement would be.”

  Margaret burst out in a merry fit of laughter. “Oh, I’m so sorry for interrupting. That just reminded me of how often I heard that funny squeak coming from you at the most inopportune moments while you were growing up. Please keep going.”

  I chuckled, a little embarrassed at the memory, and continued.

  “Even as a very young child, I sensed that somehow God could talk to people, and he was talking to me.”

  Margaret sighed and said, “It seems like just yesterday you were that sweet little girl with the squeaky yawn. As young as you were, you were just beginning to sense a wonderful truth: God speaks. This was the start of a lifetime of learning for you—learning to hear, to listen, to obey, and to discern the truths he reveals in your dreams.”

  “You’re right about the lifetime of learning part, Margaret, because I am still learning,” I agreed. “I’m afraid I’m not much better than any of my dogs—sometimes I listen and sometimes, well, there are lots of times when it is easier not to listen.”

  My angel grinned and reached down to pet Cody, who had wandered back over to nuzzle his new friend. He laid his head on her lap and let her scratch behind his ears. I watched with amusement . . . he was the most hardheaded of my dogs, yet I had a feeling he would listen to anything she told him to do.

  “Jenn, God will never stop speaking to you, or to any of his children. Even when you are not listening,” Margaret said with a knowing smile. “God is a patient and persistent teacher, my dear. And he has instructed me to provide you with personal messages from him along our journey—messages to encourage you and to instruct your heart.

  “So, as you reflect upon your earliest days—and that little girl with the squeaky yawn who sensed her Creator’s voice—hear now what God was saying to his fearfully and wonderfully made creation:

  “Welcome to your life on earth, my precious little one. I have so much to share with you!”

  Thirst

  As a deer longs for flowing streams,

  so my soul longs for you, O God.

  My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.

  PSALM 42:1–2

  Margaret gave my arm a playful squeeze. “My rather sudden appearance here this morning prevented you from having your morning coffee, Jenn, a treat I know you dearly enjoy. Why don’t you go inside and pour yourself a cup? And while you are at it, bring me one, too.”

  Her eyes sparkled in amusement as she witnessed my astonished reaction. An angel who drinks coffee? I hurried inside and poured two fresh cups of my favorite dark roast. Hannah and Isabel, my other two dogs, followed me back outside. After giving our angelic visitor curious sniffs and friendly tail wags, they wandered off into the yard.

  Margaret and I sat together, sipping our coffee and watching the morning backyard activity. Birds hopped from feeder to feeder, and a wary squirrel worked his way down the tree above the birdbath. Comically, he craned his neck to peek around the tree to see where the dogs were roaming in the yard. Confident that their backs were turned, he took his big chance and leapt the rest of the way onto the birdbath, where he took a long drink of water.

  We burst into laughter as we watched him finish up and leap back onto the tree, scampering high up into the branches, safe and sound.

  “I am amazed, Margaret,” I said shaking my head, “at how these creatures have such good instincts. That little squirrel knew he needed water, knew where to find it, and also knew to avoid the danger the three dogs posed to him.”

  “Where do you think this instinct comes from?” asked Margaret.

  “Well, I don’t know. I never really thought about it,” I mused. “I guess it has just always been there.”

  “This instinct, Jenn, is lovingly provided to each creature the moment God creates it, so that it will have the knowledge it needs to survive. Humans are given that same gift. An instinct leading them back to the Creator who loves and provides for them. You have sensed this instinct, or this connection, to your Creator in your own life, haven’t you?” she asked.

  “I have,” I replied thoughtfully. “As a young girl, I sensed I came from somewhere else, even though my conscious mind did not remember where. It was a sense of belonging to something special, much larger than me—larger and, at the same time, intensely intimate and loving. I’ve never completely lost this sense of belonging, though at times in my life I have experienced what I would call momentary breaks, which have caused me great distress.”

  My angel gave me a knowing look. “My dear, those episodes of distress were telling you that your connection to God is what you need to survive. It is the instinct of the soul to stay connected to its Creator. And when this connection breaks through to the human consciousness, it creates the desire to seek a relationship with God.

  “Scripture says my soul longs for and thirsts for God. Isn’t that a beautiful way to describe this desire to connect with your Creator? In my experience, when people begin to ask the questions ‘Who am I?’ and ‘What is my purpose here?’ they are beginning to thirst, to sense a connection to something greater than themselves. Do you want to know a secret, dear one?” I nodded as I listened intently to her. “They are beginning to sense their heavenly origin.”

  Margaret’s comment suddenly reminded me of a favorite description of our heavenly beginnings. “I once read a statement that said although we began our existence as citizens of heaven, we have forgotten where we came from, and Jesus came to help us remember and to lead us back.

  “I love this description because I really like the idea of being a ‘citizen of heaven’ first and a citizen of earth second.”

  Margaret laughed. “Well, as a citizen of heaven, my dear child, I certainly can understand why that would be an appealing thought. You know, young children have some of the best testimonies about their heavenly citizenship, because many retain their memories of heaven for a short time during childhood.”

  This statement sparked a deep and privately held conviction of mine that children can and do have fleeting memories of an existence that precedes their birth.

  “People close to me have shared stories that confirm the very thing you are talking about, Margaret,” I said. “A five-year-
old boy, an only child, repeatedly asked his parents where his two sisters were, insisting that he already knew them. Additional children were not planned, so imagine their surprise when his parents eventually did have two more children . . . both girls. And then there is the testimony of a three-year-old girl who described to her mother in detail the fluid warmth of her mother’s womb and the presence from heaven that kept her comforted and reassured throughout the months leading up to her birth. I wonder, is it possible that guardian angels begin their work while we are being ‘knit together in our mother’s wombs?’ ” I shot a questioning look at my angel.

  Margaret raised her eyebrows and gave me a mysterious smile but did not answer. In the space of her silence, I took a long, slow sip of coffee and let these last thoughts sink in. It is intriguing to consider our humble existence here on earth is, in fact, only part of a much more expansive existence. Oh, how I wish I could have retained my memories of heaven.

  “Jennifer,” Margaret said quietly, startling me out of my thoughts, “do you see those three sweet little blond heads popping up over the fence in the back of your yard?”

  I looked way to the back of the yard, following her gaze, and sure enough, three little blond heads bobbed up and down. I could just barely hear their squeals of delight as these little girls jumped on their backyard trampoline.

  Margaret smiled as she watched the children. Their long golden tresses seemed to float in the air with their bouncy, up-and-down motions. Then she whispered, “Even the hairs of your head are all numbered.”

  I looked over at Margaret, puzzled.

  “Dear one,” she replied softly, “our Father in heaven loves each of his children so very much. And, yes, he knows you so intimately that he has even counted the hairs on your head. Every single person who has walked this earth began their journey in heaven, and each of you has been lovingly and joyfully bounced on our Father’s knee. Before he sent you into this world, he whispered something special into your ear, something meant for you and you alone. Even though a veil has been placed over your conscious memory of heaven, your soul remembers God’s special whisper. This memory may very well be what you experienced as a young girl when you felt the connection to something intimate and loving.”