F*ck You: Knox Academy - Term One Read online

  “What the hell is going on?” I ask, taking a seat.

  “You mean you don’t know?” I shake my head. I have no idea what is happening right now.

  “You are clearly on their radar. The last person that crossed them left. No one ever leaves! This isn’t good, Amelie, check your tablet.”

  I open a message request and a photo pops up. The bile in my throat burns, my eyes water at the sight, and everything drags me back to the exact moment this picture was taken. How they found it is beyond me…actually, it really isn’t...I’m sure my step-father has a whole file of all my damn records.

  Anger pulsates through my veins, tunnel vision sets in. Rage is all I feel right now. I push my seat back, so hard it slams against the floor, and my heart stammers in my chest as I take one step closer to the twins.

  “Do you think this is fucking funny?” I scream, slamming my tablet on the table.

  “Whore,” someone coughs.

  “We can’t help it if you like having multiple sexual partners at the same time,” Onyx declares, his dark eyes blazing with fucking pride.

  “Looks like you were at least having fun,” Slate adds with a sneer.

  “Ask me to join next time,” Kalen pipes up with a wink.

  “It’s so fucking hilarious, being gang-banged by a rival group after they drugged me and sent the videos to my brother, so ha, ha,” I yell even louder. “I guess being raped, multiple times, is fucking hilarious to you all.”

  A sob hits my throat and I turn to run. No one at the table says a word, but Kalen jumps from his chair and tries to wrap his arms around me. I fight, pushing him and yelling, not even any coherent words. Tears pour down my face as I break free and flee from the dining hall.

  A moment in my life I tried to forget, to bury deep inside, the second most broken piece of my soul, has just been bared for the whole school to see. Ripped from me without my permission. I’m heartbroken, but how stupid is it that the deepest wound is still my mother? She left me, buried me like I was a bad memory from her worst day.

  Chapter Eight

  I skip the rest of my classes for the day. I’m too upset to sit in class and be stared at and talked about. Fuck that.

  I don’t have Susan to scream at me for not being in the right place, and no one comes looking for me, so I can get away with it for now at least. I doubt Monty will give me too much of a hard time when he finds out; it was his sons – those perfect prefects – who leaked my private file anyway. He isn’t going to like that, at all.

  I fell straight into bed and napped for a bit and have just woken up. I feel a little better, I guess. I get that the twins hate me, that they want me gone. To me they’re just collateral damage, but to do something so damn hurtful is barbaric. I vow that my payback will be sweet.

  My iPhone is stashed in a packet of pads, the overnight kind. I may have run in for a phone, but I was smart enough to grab some supplies. The massive pads were big enough to fold around my phone because I wasn’t sure if they do room checks here.

  Powering on the mobile, I get dressed in my jeans and a nice top that I snagged from the Knox house on Sunday. I don’t want to think about it as being my room, my stuff. It feels too much like the incubator is trying to buy my...well, I highly doubt she gives a shit about my love, but my approval at least. I may feel crappy, but I don’t have to look it. The clothes are just sitting there, she clearly intended for me to have them, so why shouldn’t I wear them? Have to say, the bitch does have good taste.

  I have half a dozen messages waiting to be read and I smile because I know they’ll be birthday well-wishes from my family, because in Australia right now, it’s already my birthday. My brother and Smalls have always stayed up late to wish me a happy birthday bang on midnight, and I’m pretty sure that no amount of ocean or miles between us will change that. The messages are from a few hours ago and they’ll all be asleep right now.

  Big Bro: Happy birthday, baby sis. Hope it's so terrible there that you come home.

  Smalls: Happy birthday, baby girl, miss you so damn much. My heart aches for you.

  Dad: Happy Birthday to you, happy birthday to you. Will call you soon.

  Shit! I need to take my phone with me when I go to dinner tomorrow. Maybe I could just take the SIM card and slip it into the decoy phone I left at the house? That would be easier to smuggle in than a whole phone? I’ll consider it more carefully later.

  Sawyer: I can’t stop thinking about you. Let’s meet up again.

  I fire back a response:

  Me: I have a gut feeling I will be seeing you very soon.

  He replies instantly:

  Sawyer: Hmm that sounds promising. How about Wednesday night, my place?

  Me: I have plans? How about tomorrow?

  I don’t have plans, but I have a feeling that after tomorrow night he will know who I am, and all bets will be off.

  Sawyer: I have a thing after work...

  Me: Okay. Well, if you change your mind :)

  Sawyer: MMS message downloading...

  Holy shit! He just sent me a nude picture! Well, it kinda stops before you see more than the base of his junk but holy cow! This just got better than I thought. Happy birthday to me, indeed.

  I reply to my brother and Smalls because they both know I have my phone. Dad doesn’t, but he threw me under this bus by sending me here, and I don’t trust he won’t tell the she-devil and get it taken off me, so I don’t bother to reply to him.

  I decide, after that picture, that I need to blow off some steam, So I reply back to Sawyer.

  Me: To avoid sounding desperate, what are you doing tonight?

  His response takes a few minutes.

  Sawyer: Grading papers but would welcome a distraction.

  Me: Ping me your address and I will see you very soon. :) 7 sound good?

  I throw the phone down and race into the shower so that I can get ready. I know Sawyer is a means to an end, but I’m not blind, he is very attractive. I haven’t been with a guy intimately in a while. My brother and Smalls and every one of their friends made sure of that. I can’t blame them for being protective after what happened to me. I thought I’d never be able to be with someone again, that they would have robbed me of my ability to make a sexual connection, yet now I’m almost numb to it, in a way. I lock it all in a place where it can’t hurt me.

  When it’s time, I know that leaving the school grounds will be tricky, but I skulk around like a damn cat burglar.

  “Going somewhere?” A very girly squeal peels from my lips.

  “Baxter? What are you doing here?”

  “Campus security, helping girls escape since 2015.”

  Most people would question his motives; I’m sure to the average eye he would be someone you would cross the street to get away from, but I can see it’s all an act.

  “Well then, it’s my lucky night.”

  “Let’s go, before we both have another visit with my buddy, headmaster Knox.” I laugh and follow Baxter to the edge of the school grounds, to a place I wouldn’t ever have considered as a viable way out. Maybe he is really going to off me in the woods.

  We eventually come to a clearing where a motorbike is chained to a tree.

  “You keep a bike to escape this place?”

  “Me and my buddy have an understanding, he turns a blind eye, as long as no one else finds out.”

  “So how does that help me?”

  “I’ll give you a lift.”

  Getting on the back of a bike isn’t new to me but telling Baxter where I’m going is an issue.

  “I won’t tell anyone what you’re up to. Breaking you out would get me expelled, and as much as I hate this dump, I can’t afford to be kicked out.”

  What are the chances he knows where Sawyer lives? It isn’t possible…but why is he even helping me?

  “Fine,” I pull up the GPS on my phone and show him where I need to go. It’s only about five minutes from here anyway by bike.

  “So you decided t
o go after the big brother first? You must have some big balls.” He smirks.

  “Something like that,” I mutter in response, wondering how the hell he knows that the address belongs to Sawyer.

  “Here,” he says, handing me his phone. “Program your number and call yourself.”

  I do as he asks, thinking it can’t hurt to have his number. He seems like he could be a good ally to have here at Knox.

  He mounts the bike after unchaining it and hands me the only helmet that was resting on the handlebars. I chuck it on the grass and get on the bike behind him. He doesn’t chastise me for refusing to wear the lid, just revs the engine and tells me to hold on tight.

  We take off, winding between trees until we finally hit an open road, which is a much smoother ride. Once I know I’m not about to be flung off the back, and my bones have stopped rattling, I relax a little and enjoy the ride. It’s exhilarating and I love it, but I don’t know if my jubilation comes from the wind whipping my face, or the freedom of being off campus for something other than a fake family meal.

  Within five minutes we have stopped at the end of Sawyer’s street, Baxter steadies the bike so I can climb off, he helps me fix my hair, which is pretty wild. Probably should have worn the helmet after all.

  “Call me when you’re done, and I will be here waiting.”

  “You don’t have to do that.”

  “I don’t, but I’m feeling generous. I mean, it is almost your birthday after all.”

  “How do you know that?”

  “I just know things.” He laughs

  “How do I look?” I change the topic.

  “Fuckable,” he replies without hesitation. “Man’s a fool if he doesn’t tap that.” He winks and takes off.

  Walking down the street it still feels weird to me that there are so many duplex style houses here, all so close together. But I find his place easily and knock.

  My breath is lost when he opens the door in a pair of sweats and a white shirt tight enough to show the definition of his muscles. His colourful tattoos line his right arm.

  He steps aside to let me in. I was expecting a bachelor pad, but this feels very homely and my mind wanders to a life where I would go to work and come home to a cosy place like this with its dark wood and light-coloured furnishings.

  “Hi,” he says, breaking the silence.

  “Hi back. Nice house.”

  “Thanks, take a seat.”

  I get the feeling he doesn’t do this often; most guys would be quick to guide you into the bedroom. I don’t know what it is about him, but I feel a pull between us. I’m sure it’s only sexual and we can both benefit from this before it all comes crashing down. I almost feel bad for him that he has to be collateral damage, but if he's anything like his brothers, I’m sure he’ll deserve it too.

  “Drink?” he offers, holding up a bottle of whiskey from one of those fancy looking mini bars that rich guys generally have.

  “Sure.” He pours two glasses and takes a seat beside me.

  “How did it go with those papers?” I ask, trying to make small talk.

  “I gave up, most days I love teaching but some kids make it so hard.”

  “I’m sure they do.”

  “So, what do you do here?”

  “Here as in England? I go to school.” Why lie?

  “What are you studying?” It isn’t my fault that he just presumes I’m older.

  “This and that, I’m still undecided.”

  “So if school specifically didn’t bring you all this way, then what?” He leans back into the couch, relaxing a little.

  “I suppose, my mother.” The word mother feels like acid coming off my tongue. I’m done with the small talk. I swallow the rest of my drink in one go, placing my glass on the small coffee table.

  Moving so I'm straddling his lap, I see he is caught off guard by my sudden forwardness, but my hands on either side of his face help him to be in the moment.

  “I’m terrible at this,” he laughs. I smile, leaning in. My face is so close to his, I can smell the whiskey on his breath. My hands fall to his chest, his heart is beating away like a wild drum. He looks at me, not the façade I use to hide away all the demons, but me, Amelie Luna Rossi, and it’s nice to feel wanted for me, and not to get at my brother or Smalls to stick it to them.

  Goose bumps line my skin as his fingers tuck hair behind my ears. “God, you’re beautiful,” he whispers against my lips. I smile, getting closer, lips touching as we drink each other in.

  Every inch of my body melts into him, as he explores my body with his hands. Each nerve ending he skims explodes with desperate desire.

  His fingers toy with the edge of my shirt, which is easily removed without ruining the moment.

  After discarding the shirt, Sawyer lifts me and walks towards his room, or so I presume. He gives me a look and I nod. Yes, I want this, it’s why I’m here, right? My silent approval has him kicking open his door and gently laying me on his bed.

  I watch as he removes his shirt, every muscle perfectly defined like he was hand chiselled to perfection by a master craftsman. Heat pools between my thighs and, as if he can sense it, he drops to his knees in front of the bed, grabbing my ankles and dragging me down to the edge. He takes his time unbuttoning my jeans, and his breath hitches slightly when I lift to help him remove them. He takes my black lace underwear off along with my jeans. I’m left bare before him, and the way he looks up at me from under his long lashes makes me feel powerful. It’s a heady feeling.

  He takes his time exploring my skin, licking and tasting until I’m seconds away from exploding. I have never experienced an orgasm purely from touch before; the light feather touches from his fingertips, the roughness from his day-old stubble, the way his breath hits my skin setting it alight...I’m done for. My body is on fire beyond anything I ever imagined it could be.

  Just as the first wave of pleasure hits my core, his tongue makes contact with my most sensitive spot, causing the wave to crash over. But he doesn’t take this as a sign to stop like others might, his mouth and tongue work magic between my legs, as wave after wave hits. I scream out his name when I reach a peak and a much-needed release engulfs me. Sawyer pulls away with a smile, while I’m sated.

  “Wow,” is all I can manage.

  The sound of Kalen’s voice comes from the other room and my heart stops.

  Bro, bro, bro...hey bro! It’s me, your favourite sibling!

  “I’m so sorry, my baby brother can be a real handful. If I don’t answer, he’ll keep calling.”

  “It’s fine,” I say. I’m just so relieved that it was his ringtone and not Kalen literally in the next room, that I don’t care that he’s just left me naked on the bed.

  He runs out to answer the call, so I prop myself up and try to listen. I can’t hear much of anything. Sawyer is back as quickly as he left, and comes to lay beside me, his phone in his hand. He raises it up and snaps a photo.

  “What was that for?” I ask.

  “To remember how stunning you look in my bed. My brother was calling to tell me that my other brother has drunk himself stupid and he needs to go save him. Apparently, something happened at school today and Slate isn’t coping well.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that.” I’m really not, he deserves to feel bad for what he did. Or at the very least, the part he played in it.

  “It wouldn’t be the first time. My brothers can be a handful, the twins especially. One drinks his problems away and the other will punch anything that gets in his way, so I really need to go.”

  “Don’t worry. What’s the other brother like then, the one who called?”

  “A pain in the ass! He has ADHD, he’s the baby of the family, needy, attention seeking. But harmless enough and he has a big heart.” He smiles as he describes Kalen to a T. It makes so much sense now it’s been said aloud, I don’t know why I didn’t spot it before.

  “You can wait, but it may take a while or we can pick this up another time, because
I really want to see you again.”

  “Tomorrow is good for me.” I smile at him. I know that we will see each other tomorrow; just not how he is expecting.

  “I have a family thing but if I make an appearance, I can be done early.”

  “Sounds good to me.”

  We both get dressed. Sawyer offers to drive me somewhere and I tell him I have a lift coming. I wave from his doorstep as he drives away. Baxter is only a few minutes away, so I don’t spend much time waiting. When he picks me up, he doesn’t say anything, he just takes us back to where he leaves his bike and walks me back to my room in silence.

  Back in my room, my phone buzzes and reminds me I need to pack it away. I check the message and it’s from Sawyer, sending me the picture he took of us. In a different life, we might have been able to pursue the connection we share. In this life, I am destined to live in a lower-class part of Australia, slaving away to make ends meet and taking care of my family. The family that has loved and cared for me, no matter what. That’s just how things go. I’m not my mother, I won’t run away when the going gets tough; I will stay and fight for what's mine. Dad, Chelsea, Aadi and Smalls, they are my everything. I won’t leave them behind for a fantasy.

  Chapter Nine

  Sawyer

  It’s lunchtime when I get a call from my father.

  “Hey, Dad, what’s up?”

  “I assume your brothers have filled you in?”

  “They might have mentioned something about the meal I missed, yeah,” I tell him rubbing my forehead. I don’t tell him about last night, Slate was out cold by the time I arrived, and Onyx managed to get them kicked out for fighting.

  It was pretty stressful when Kalen and the twins found me on Monday morning to moan about the family meal that I missed. I don’t make a habit of missing them; they’re tradition. It’s just that now, instead of having one a week with Mum and Dad, we now have Sundays with Dad and Thursdays with Mum. My brothers were pretty up-in-arms about Sunday’s dinner.

  Turns out, dad sprung the daughter of his girlfriend on them by introducing her at the dinner table. It was a huge surprise for everyone and the boys didn’t take it well, last night's events speak for themselves. I’m yet to see how our Mum’s reacting but Kalen said she roasted her in SELF class. I might have to have a word before Dad steps in. She wouldn’t normally bully any student, but the girlfriend’s kid might be a particularly hard pill for her to swallow.