Against the Wall of This Prison Read online

Against the Wall of This Prison

  By Jason Wallace Poetry

  ******

  Published by:

  Against the Wall of This Prison

  Copyright © 2015 by Jason Wallace Poetry

  With my back against the wall, I bleed.

  The last of all I could ever need

  Has gone away.

  Empty of all illusion,

  As to what to say,

  I fill the void.

  All I ask is not to fall, but I see

  That the past has come to call and feed.

  I pray,

  Upon shattered knees; I’d rather be

  Anything but this emptying

  Self-delusion that I’m included

  In what’s become better than living bitterly.

  Nothing seems anything.

  Numbing, I dream to dissect my soul,

  To know more than I’ve been told.

  Exasperated in my own wisdom

  That casts its own sentence,

  I’m pitifully pitted against reality,

  False, chaotic, tumultuous envying,

  Tearing into my inner space,

  Wearing away my every face

  Until I’m broken to be

  Everything I’m allowed to think I am,

  But painful as it is, that is some production,

  A reduction down to what they say is me.

  I’m grounded from more,

  Unable to rise,

  Rewound, re-bound, unfound,

  Lost and listless, bought. What is this?

  Why?

  Is this the answer to all I’ve questioned?

  Is this my result, my unplanned and handed,

  Undying lies, compromised, forever demanded

  To be all that I can be,

  So much less than I can’t be,

  Only can’t be because I’m limited, tied, and living for less,

  Mouth to hand, and my hands are pulled and clenched and sweaty and trembling with instant insanity.

  To meet file size requirements, I have to add more material to this file. Below are some other poems of mine.

  Dreams Never Come True

  I used to think it was us.

  I used to think it was you.

  But now all I can think

  Is dreams never come true.

  Was it me, Baby?

  Was it no use?

  Is there a reason

  Dreams never come true?

 

  I can't stand wishin

  On stars that deceive.

  I can't be with you

  When you can't believe.

  I don't know what happened

  To what we thought we knew...

  But now it makes sense

  Since dreams never come true.

 

  My whole life has been wasted.

  I've never been much.

  I've come close to dreams that faded

  And then lost every bit of trust

  Because someone else didn't

  Know what they had

  And I could never be happy

  When I only made them sad...

  But though you don't believe me, Honey...

  There's one promise

  I can make to you...

  No matter what else happens...

  Dreams never come true.

 

  If one day you want me

  Like I wanted you,

  I won't be waitin

  Cuz dreams never come true.

  The dream you made me believe in

  Is now the nightmare I knew

  Would come around some day

  Cuz dreams never come true.

 

  I'm tired of holdin

  On to anyone new

  Because all of the old

  Were dreams that never came true.

  I don't want nothin

  Or someone, too.

  The dream that died lately

  Is the dream I call you.

  And the dream I wanted

  Will never come true.

 

  My whole life has been wasted.

  I've never been much.

  I've come close to dreams that faded

  And then lost every bit of trust

  Because someone else didn't

  Know what they had

  And I could never be happy

  When I only made them sad...

  But though you don't believe me, Honey...

  There's one promise

  I can make to you...

  No matter what else happens...

  Dreams never come true.

 

  So if you find somebody

  Somebody new...

  Know he's no better

  Than what I gave to you...

  But I have nothin I can give

  Cuz you took it all

  And made me want somethin

  Not worth wearin down my wall.

  So I'll build it back up

  And let no one through

  Since you proved once again

  That dreams never come true.

 

  My whole life has been wasted.

  I've never been much.

  I've come close to dreams that faded

  And then lost every bit of trust

  Because someone else didn't

  Know what they had

  And I could never be happy

  When I only made them sad...

  But though you don't believe me, Honey...

  There's one promise

  I can make to you...

  No matter what else happens...

  Dreams never come true.

 

  I spent years

  Gettin it all wrong,

  Wishin and waitin

  For somethin good to come along

  And every time I feel it

  It leaves me blue

  Because everything that seems perfect

  Is another dream that won't come true.

  Empty and Broken

  Empty and broken,

  Oscillating to answer to

  Everything everyone says of me,

  Demanding my attention,

  No careful condemnation

  Erasing my innocence

  Invasion of anything

  I ever thought I'd be

  Living No More

  My mouth sewn shut

  My eyes will bleed

  No way to be whole

  Though I feel the need

  Rotting through a body of flesh,

  Infecting me with wounds so fresh

  Dead to my core,

  Hoping to be

  But still living no more

  Come Save Me – Let Me Be

  Maybe it will all be better tomorrow.

  Maybe things won’t have to be this way.

  Maybe, at the edge of all of this sickness and sorrow,

  Is the dawn of some brighter day.