From the Damage 1 - Opposites Attract Read online

  “That’s rough.”

  “Yeah.”

  “You bounced back from that though. A lot of women don’t.”

  She nodded. “Too many. That’s why, if I can help just one person, I’ll die happy.”

  “That’s very…valiant of you.”

  She beamed a smile. “Did Gage just give me a compliment?”

  He fought a grin. “Don’t get used to it.”

  ***

  After the group meeting, Meagan jogged to catch up with Ryder, but he wouldn’t slow down. He kept walking with quick, agitated strides, and she knew something was upsetting him. Reaching out, she grabbed his wrist so he would stop and look at her. “Ryder, what’s going on? You’ve seemed distant ever since that argument with Gage.”

  He shook his head, pulling away from her. “Meagan, I just can’t talk about it, okay?”

  “Why not?” She reached out, touching his shoulder. “You can tell me anything—

  you know that.”

  He sighed, his gaze meeting hers in a look that showed her how torn he was.

  Looking around the parking lot, he saw Daphne heading for her van. “Come on,” he said, taking Meagan’s hand. “Let’s talk in my car.” But even when they climbed into his car, he was quiet, staring down at the dark speedometer like it held answers.

  “Ryder, what is it?” she asked, reaching out and placing her hand on his knee.

  “You’ll feel better if you just let it out.”

  “It’s about Gage,” he said, his words barely above a whisper. “It’s about why we don’t get along. He doesn’t know me, but I know him.”

  Meagan had always sensed there was something deeper than your average alpha male fight going on between the two. “What is it?”

  “I did something...to him,” he said, his voice shaking as he continued to gaze at the dashboard. “That’s why I’m in this support group. It’s not really because of the shooting. It’s because I did something horrible.”

  “What did you do?” she asked, feeling a mix of fear and concern and anxiety.

  She couldn’t picture Ryder doing anything horrible; he was Knight Ryder, the guy who broke up fights and protected the helpless. How could he have done something as bad as he was making it sound?

  “If I tell you,” he said, finally raising his dark brown eyes to meet her bright green ones, “you need to swear you won’t tell anybody. Ever.”

  ≈≈≈

  After Daphne left, Gage let out a slow breath to calm his heart rate. He hated talking about Peyton. He hated thinking about her. He hated her.

  But she was always there—a ghost of pain that followed him wherever he went.

  In the mornings, when he rolled over in bed to squeeze in a few more precious minutes of sleep, he could swear he saw her brown curls spread over the pillow next to his. It was moments like that that kept him sleeping on the left side of the bed.

  Of course, he’d gotten used to sleeping without Peyton. She was never really there. She lived in constant emotional pain, and the pain kept her out at all hours searching for a numbing substance. While Gage waited in front of a cooling dinner and stared at Peyton’s untouched plate, she was out partying. She’d come home at night, her blouses wrinkled, her hair tangled, reeking of booze or pot smoke or God only knows what else, and then expect him to believe her when she said she was only out for a walk.

  Then, one night, while he was staring at another plateful of food that would end up the trash, he got a phone call from Shane. Gage heard the background party noise first, then Shane’s slurred voice rolled through the phone.

  “Man, you’re not going to believe this. I’m at Jake’s house, and I just saw Peyton giving this dude a lap dance.”

  Gage clamped his hand into a fist. “You’re kidding me.”

  “No, I’m right here, watching it. You want me to stop her?”

  “Keep an eye on her. I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

  “Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Shane said. “Not a good idea, bro. You’ll kill ‘em both. Let me take care of this.”

  “She’s my wife. I’ll take care of it. Just don’t let her out of your sight.” With that, Gage stabbed the hang-up button and put in a call to Sarah, begging her to watch Lizzie for an hour.

  During the ten-minute drive to Jake’s party, Gage clenched the steering wheel so hard he thought it would snap. He knew why Peyton was acting out; he knew why she felt she couldn’t be a mother or wife. But her behavior had caused him to stop caring about the reasons why a long time ago.

  When he reached the house, he stormed his way through the mass of people and found Shane standing in a crowded hallway.

  “Where is she?” Fuming, Gage scanned the hallway and found no sign of Peyton.

  “Look, man, I don’t know how to tell you this—”

  “Where is she?”

  “In the bedroom.” Shane pointed to the door across the hall.

  His heart quivered and swelled so much he thought it would cry. “Please tell me she’s in there alone.”

  Shane shook his head slowly.

  Gage shoved the door open and searched the room. The sheets on the bed formed a twisted mess with the blanket, where a guy he didn’t recognize was lazily sprawled in his boxers. Across the room, Peyton stood in front of a mirror, fumbling with the buttons on her blouse.

  Gage’s fingers curled into a fist as his eyes traveled from the bed to Peyton.

  Her beautiful brown eyes widened when they met his in the mirror. She whirled around, flashing him a look of complete fury. “What are you doing here?”

  The guy on the bed glanced up at him. “Dude, get out—”

  Gage shot him a look that sent the color draining from the guy’s face.

  He sat up and found his jeans in a rumpled pile on the floor. He slid into them, then, hugging his shirt to his chest, he edged toward the door. “I’m just going to…um…yeah…” He sprinted past Gage and out the door, happy to still be alive.

  “What are you doing here?” Peyton barreled up to him. “Where is Lizzie?”

  “Were you worried about that five minutes ago? What about last weekend, when you didn’t come home at all? Were you worried about Lizzie then?”

  Peyton’s eyes glazed over, a look Gage knew meant she was fighting tears.

  He grabbed her arm and pulled her toward the door. She didn’t writhe or tug against him; instead, she dipped her head and let him haul her outside to the car.

  Gage struggled to keep his temper, but the angry words spilled out of him.

  “What the hell are you doing? Did the words ‘and forsake all others’ mean nothing to you?”

  “Gage—”

  “You promised me! You looked me in the eyes and took a vow.” He gripped the steering wheel tighter and refused to look at her. If he did, he would puke. “I didn’t marry you because you were pregnant, Peyton. I married you because I’m in love with you. What the hell is going on?”

  “You know what—”

  “Some snobby bitches say mean things about you, so you go and make them true? It doesn’t make any damn sense.”

  “Say mean things?” She repeated incredulously. “Gage, you know they’ve done a lot more than that.”

  “So what?” He punched the dashboard, exasperated and furious and confused and unable to do anything about it. “That’s no excuse to destroy our marriage!”

  “I’m not destroying—”

  “Yes you are.” He whipped the car in a turn, causing Peyton to sling back and forth in the seat. “How much longer do you think I can put up with this? I had to wake Lizzie up and drop her off with a babysitter in the middle of a cold winter night to drag your ass out of a party—out of bed with some other guy! This goes way beyond white trash, Peyton.”

  She buried her head in her hands and squeaked, “I’m sorry.”

  “Sorry doesn’t cut it. Sorry doesn’t do shit.” He took a slow breath to calm himself. “I’m sick of this, Peyton. I want my family back. Just
grow up.”

  “Grow up. Grow up? Everything’s always so easy for you, isn’t it? Gage ‘the strong one.’ Gage ‘the tough guy.’” She shook her head to keep the tears from falling.

  “Nobody messes with you because everyone’s afraid of you. You don’t know what it’s like to be the doormat.”

  “I’m sorry things are easier for me, but it’s not like I haven’t tried to help you with this. I’ve asked you and asked you to switch schools or get your GED or—”

  “Let them win? No way!”

  “It’s not a contest, Peyton! This is our life.”

  She fell silent then and leaned her head against the cool window. He could see the tears slowly trickling down her cheeks, but instead of pulling her into his arms to comfort her, instead of wiping them away, he let her cry alone.

  Chapter Seven—Secrets Revealed

  Carmen stood in front of the bathroom mirror, looking into her reflection.

  Through her eyes, she looked warped and distorted. Purple blemishes made her brown eyes look sunken, and her skin had grown pale.

  Since finding out custody was on the line, Carmen decided to bide her time.

  She’d go to school, and she’d be the perfect girl with the great grades, and she’d make her sister happy, and she’d do everything right. But she knew none of it would be enough. She’d never be happy.

  Carmen grabbed her purse off the bathroom counter and pulled out the diet pills she’d stolen from the drugstore. The directions said to take one tablet, but she went ahead and swallowed two to give herself a head start. Focusing her energy on losing weight gave her something else to think about, something other than her mother’s death.

  ≈≈≈

  Walking to her locker that morning, the hallway was quiet and empty because Meagan had finally gathered the sense to get to school and homeroom before Lena and her posse found her. Approaching the locker, she was relieved to find the janitor had finally covered the letters that branded it. Of course, now she had a giant black paint spot on the door, but at least her locker wasn’t still labeling her as promiscuous.

  She pulled the door open, thinking of the secret Ryder had told her. She still couldn’t wrap her mind around what he’d done—or how the sweet guy she knew could’ve done something so horrible—but she didn’t hold it against him, not even for a split second. He’d learned from his tragic mistake, and now all he needed to do was fess up to Gage because he had a right to know.

  Ryder understood that, whether he was willing to admit it or not, and Meagan was sure that in time, Ryder would come clean about the whole messy ordeal.

  “You!”

  Turning, Meagan saw Lena marching toward her.

  “Seth was suspended from the team for that stupid little stunt you pulled.”

  “The stunt I pulled?” Meagan asked with a laugh.

  “Turning him in for the graffiti. C’mon. You know what I’m talking about, so don’t act like you don’t!” Stopping in front of her, Lena placed her hands on her hips.

  “When are you going to leave him alone?”

  Meagan clenched her teeth, trying to hold back her anger. “When are you going to stop being delusional? I haven’t done a single thing to any of you, and if you’d open your eyes, you’d see that you’re protecting a predator.”

  “A predator?” Lena laughed. “That’d be you. He told me how you came on to him, how you asked for it—”

  “I don’t have to listen to this.” Walking past Lena, Meagan tried to get away.

  Lena whirled around, latching on to Meagan’s arm.

  Just then, something in Meagan snapped. She spun around, swinging her fist, and punched Lena square in the face.

  Lena screamed in pain as blood squirted from her nose. “Oh my God, you freak!”

  Gasping, Lena covered her nose, making her voice sound more nasal than usual. “Look what you did! Homecoming is next week, and you...I think you broke my nose!”

  “Now it matches the rest of your face.” Turning on her heels, Meagan walked away, feeling a small glimmer of pride. She’d never been a violent person, but Lena had been asking for it for a long time.

  ≈≈≈

  It was seven o’clock the next night when Kelly knocked on Gage’s door. She realized she should have called first, but she’d been in the neighborhood, and she couldn’t get the beautiful little girl out of her mind. She felt so bad for Lizzie, and for Gage. It was just so horrible the way he’d lost his wife. What would drive a mother to shoot up a school?

  When he answered the door, she lingered in the hallway outside. “Hey,” she said. “I know I should have called, but—”

  “It’s okay.” He stepped aside, and she was surprised when he gave her a half-smile. “Come on in.”

  Walking inside the living room, she found herself fixated on the little girl who sat in a highchair at the table.

  “I was just feeding Lizzie some supper.” He gestured to an empty chair as he took a seat. “Sit down.”

  There were only two chairs at the table, so she sank into one and then wondered if it had been his wife’s. “I just wanted to apologize for how I reacted the other night.”

  He glanced at her as he brought a spoonful of baby food to Lizzie’s mouth. “It’s okay now, right? Now that you know I was married.”

  She shook her head. “No…it’s not like that.”

  He nodded, obviously not believing her. “I get it all the time. The looks people give me when I’m out with her. I can practically hear their thoughts. ‘Babies raising babies.’”

  “You’re not a baby, Gage. You’re already an old man, and you’re just…what?

  Sixteen? Seventeen?”

  He stared at her for a minute. “Seventeen.”

  “I think it’s cool, the way you’ve stepped up to the plate,” she rambled on, unable to shut her mouth. “Most guys would have taken off.”

  “It’s not like the thought didn’t occur to me.” He scooped up another spoonful and held it in front of Lizzie. Smiling, she leaned forward and clamped her mouth around the spoon. “I was sixteen, on meth and partying all the time. The last thing I expected—or wanted—was for Peyton to get pregnant. Turns out it was exactly what I needed.”

  “Were you in love with her?”

  He froze with the spoon in midair, but only for a second, before he went on feeding his daughter. “Yes.”

  “Do you think that’s why you didn’t take off?”

  “I didn’t take off because it would have been the wrong thing to do,” he snapped. He watched her blink in surprise and swallow hard, and he felt guilty. He took an unsteady breath. “What is this, anyway? Twenty questions? You come to my place to pump me for information about my past, and you don’t get the clue to shut up.

  That’s a little rude, don’t you think?”

  “I’m sorry.”

  She sounded automatic, defensive, and it only made him angrier. “You know all of this about me, and I don’t know a damn thing about you. Why do you buy drugs in Westview? Why’d you make out with that guy just because you were lonely? What do you want forgiveness for?”

  “I don’t do drugs.” She glared at him as the anger fought its way to the surface.

  “I come to Westview so I can sit outside the abortion clinic and wish I’d made a different choice.”

  “You mean you—”

  “Yeah.” She stared down at her hands, gripped together so tight they trembled and reminded her of chattering teeth on a bitter cold day. “I had an abortion.” She watched him carefully for a reaction, but he remained stone-faced and unsympathetic.

  “Explains a lot,” he said.

  “Does it?”

  “Yeah.” He turned back to Lizzie. “You killed your baby, so now you hate yourself.”

  “Hey!”

  “Well, that’s what happened, isn’t it?” He eyed her. “I’m not saying it’s right or wrong, I’m just stating the facts. You keep acting like you expect me to spare your feelings, Ke
lly, but that’s not what you need.”

  “What do I need?”

  “You need to know that you did the best with the circumstances you had. This life…” He motioned to Lizzie and the tiny apartment. “Well, it’s not for everyone.”

  “Why do you do it then?”

  He thought for a while, staring at his little girl. “Because it’s worth it when she smiles. So, are you going to tell me the story or leave it up to my imagination?”

  She shrugged. “It’s embarrassingly typical. Shy, quiet me, madly in love with the quarterback. We grew up together. I’ve known Alex my whole life. Then, about six months ago, I missed a period. We did the test together, and when it came back positive, we started talking about our options.” She covered her face with her hands. “I don’t know what I wanted to do. I was so freaked out, so completely shocked. But he said the timing wasn’t right and we should have it ‘taken care of’ and that we’d have another kid someday. Maybe I should have been strong enough to have the baby by myself. I don’t know. My mom raised me by herself until I was thirteen. We lived in a place not much bigger than this, and then she married some rich guy who gave her a new baby, and she forgot all about me. I guess I just assumed it was because she’d spent so much time with me while I was growing up. She’d been lonely. I used to hear her cry at night, and I thought it was my fault. I didn’t want to be that kind of parent.”

  She paused for so long that he thought she was finished, but then she looked up at him, and he saw her crying.

  “So he took me to the clinic and gave me a fake ID he’d bought so it couldn’t be traced back to us. When he drove me home, he said he cared about me, and he thanked me for doing ‘the right thing’ and then he told me we were over.”

  “He dumped you the day you had the abortion?”

  She nodded.

  “Shit.”

  “So, when I heard Lizzie cry, I thought I was imagining it,” she said, laughing a little at how silly she sounded. “Then I saw you with her and…I just—”

  “Freaked? I understand.” In a movement that surprised her, he reached out and rested his hand on hers. “I’m sorry.”