Fitting The Pieces (The Riverdale Series Book 3) Read online

  “You what?” Joe probed as he cocked his head to the side and studied the angst in his son’s eyes.

  “I failed her.” Luke whispered and looked up at his father. Joe straightened his shoulders and exhaled heavily. He took a step towards his son and slung his arm around his shoulders.

  “You know what I always thought was amazing?” He asked. “That God gave your mother and I two sons, who were complete opposites of one another. It was as if he gave us the best of both worlds. Jake was a free spirit and kept us on our toes. He used to say you have to take life by the balls, and by God did he ever.” Joe smiled fondly as he remembered his son. “And then we have you, my son, that is level-headed and takes on the world’s problems as if they’re all his own. When you’re passionate about something you claim it as your responsibility. Your life’s goal is to fix what’s broken. You’re honorable and it makes me proud to think I had a hand in creating something so wonderful.” He patted him on the back and then grabbed Luke by his shoulders and turned him so their eyes met. “Son, you are not the reason Cara is lying in that bed battling her demons.”

  Luke swallowed the lump in his throat before he looked away from his father as he tried to hold back his emotions. When he felt he had the slightest bit of control over himself, he met his father’s gaze again. “I don’t want to fix her because she’s broken.” He said with his own voice sounding a bit broken. “I want to help her because losing her too isn’t an option.”

  Joe remained silent for a moment before he nodded, agreeing that losing Cara wasn’t something any of them would be able to withstand.

  * * * * *

  Deb walked to the edge of the bed that Cara was laying upon. Her sweet Cara, who had become a second daughter to her lay there helpless. Her hair was wet from what appeared to be perspiration and she leaned over and brushed the strands away from her face. She was so pale and incredibly fragile looking. Her hand trailed down the side of her soft cheek and tears fell from her eyes. Even with her eyes closed the young woman lying there looked anguished and to be suffering in silence.

  “Oh my sweet Cara…” Deb said softly as she pulled the blanket up slightly as if she was tucking in a small child. “It’s okay sweetheart. It’s going to be alright.” She said soothingly as only a mother could. “We’re going to get you well, I promise.” She leaned over and pressed her lips softly against her clammy forehead.

  Cara’s eyes slowly fluttered open. Deb leaned back and smiled at her as she came to. Her eyes began to focus and she looked up at Deb, confusion evident in her otherwise blank stare.

  “Where am I?” She whispered throatily and tried to sit up. Her body felt as if it was bound to the bed by cinder blocks, and so she gave up sinking into the mattress, pain coursing throughout her body.

  “Relax honey.” Deb said, seeing the discomfort in her face. “You’re in the hospital, but you’re going to be just fine.”

  Cara’s eyes widened as she took in the mauve walls that lived in her nightmares, reminding her of that day…that day when she lost herself along with her one and only love. She suddenly felt suffocated, as if she needed to run out of there.

  “I can’t stay here.” She croaked. “Please, I can’t be in here.”

  “Shh.” Deb said and took her hand, trying to calm her. “It’s okay… You need to stay here Cara. You are not well enough to leave.”

  “No you don’t understand I can’t stay in this place.” She looked at her with panic and tears in her eyes.

  “I know…” Deb said, her voice cracking as she understood the significance of why it was torturous for Cara to be confined there. “But sweetheart, you’ve been in an accident. You were injured and you need to heal.”

  Cara let her words sink in and she closed her eyes defeated, the tears falling from the corners of her eyes as she tried to remember. The last thing she could recall was leaving the cemetery and planning to drive out of Riverdale. The word accident repeated in her head and she remembered taking the bottle of pills. Her eyes shot open. “Was anyone else hurt?” She asked, dreading the answer.

  Deb shook her head slightly. “No, your car went off the road into the guardrail.” She squeezed Cara’s hand. “You gave us a scare, sweetheart.”

  “I’m sorry.” She whispered and looked away. She couldn’t bring herself to look into Deb’s sad eyes that were full of worry and concern. She didn’t deserve Deb’s concern. She wasn’t a victim. She had done this to herself.

  “There isn’t anything to be sorry for. We’re just happy you’re okay.” She paused and studied her for a moment. “Cara?”

  Cara turned to face Deb; she wiped at her tears and lifted her gaze to meet Deb’s.

  “Sweetheart… the doctors said they found some pills in your system.” She treaded carefully and watched the shame wash over Cara’s face. “No, don’t do that… don’t look at me that way. I am not judging you.” She said adamantly. “I would never judge you. I want you to understand that. I am just concerned for you.” She pleaded and her eyes filled with fresh tears. “You’re like a daughter to me, you know that right?”

  Cara bit down on her bottom lip and nodded as she cried.

  “Good, now listen to me sweetheart. I know you are hurting. I live with the same hurt, but you cannot let that hurt consume you. You cannot let it tear you apart.” She let out a shaky breath and gripped Cara’s hand strongly. “My son loved you more than anything in this world and I know how much you loved him. I want you to ask yourself if Jake would want you to beat yourself up like this. He isn’t here to live, but he’d want you to live life for the both of you. He’d want you to pick yourself up. In fact, I believe he is watching you and begging you right now to turn this around. So I’m going to ask you on behalf of him, because I know in my heart he’d want me too, please pick up the pieces of your life.”

  The tears streamed down both women’s cheeks and then Deb pointed to Cara’s chest. “I know deep inside is the girl that came into our lives and captivated all of us. She’s begging to be free again. You just have to let her be.”

  “I feel like I lost her when I lost Jake.” Cara admitted through her sobs.

  “You can find her again. I know you can, you just have to want to.” Deb affirmed. “And I promise you, you will not do it alone. You have me and Joe and you have Sam and Luke. He’s been pacing like a lunatic outside.” She took the tissue box that sat on the table beside the bed and took a few tissues for herself before she handed them to Cara. “We all love you Cara and we’ll be beside you every step of the way.”

  Cara took the tissues and wiped at her tears before she blew her nose. She looked up at Deb and then after a moment she nodded. “I love you too.” She whispered.

  Deb leaned over her and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead once more. “I’m going to let you rest. I’ll be outside okay?”

  Cara nodded and took a deep breath as Deb squeezed her hand, one final time reassuring her, before she quietly exited the room.

  * * * * *

  When Deb stepped into the waiting room her husband and son’s head’s lifted and their eyes met hers.

  “She’s okay.” Deb said calmly and even attempted a smile.

  Joe let out a deep breath and leaned back against the couch.

  “Thank God.” He said and then turned his attention towards his son who stood quickly.

  “Can I see her?” Luke asked roughly.

  Deb looked between her husband and son and then held her gaze on her son’s tormented eyes.

  “Yes, but Luke, she’s very fragile.” She studied his face.

  “I won’t upset her. I just want to see for myself that she’s okay.” He said as he shoved his hands into his pockets and stared at the floor.

  Deb glanced over at Joe, who nodded to her as if to say let him go. “She’s in room 205.”

  Luke lifted his head and looked at his mother for a moment before he walked out of the waiting room. He warned himself not to run, or his mother would suspect him of be
ing a crazed man. Hell, the jury was still out on that one. These days, that’s exactly what he felt like he was. He found her room and slowly turned the door knob. When he stepped inside the room his eyes quickly found hers. The door closed behind him and he leaned his back against it as he stared at her. He couldn’t help the sigh of relief that escaped him.

  The silence in the room was deafening as she stared back at him. She stared at him for the first time in months without hatred clouding her hazel eyes and it completely undid him. He felt like an imbecile standing there, unsure what to do with himself. He slid his hands into his pockets and took another step into the room. She didn’t say a word and he wondered if he should. He battled his conscience for a few moments and then walked towards the side of her bed. He was very aware that her eyes watched him take every step. He stood at the side of her bed and looked at her face, studying every feature, memorizing them all. Her lips were a pale pink as if they were just reclaiming their color. She had dark circles underneath her eyes, and bruising on her sweet face. Her eyes that tore through him like a sword looked sad and yet he could swear there was something in them that hadn’t been there for a while. He didn’t dare call it hope, in fear of getting his own hopes up.

  “I’m glad you’re okay.” He said not recognizing his own voice.

  Her fingers toyed with the hem of the blanket that covered her and she looked down.

  “Thank you.” She whispered and there it was again, that awkward silence, a silence that left him questioning his every move. He was about to turn around and walk out of the room so she could rest, but before he could turn on his heel her head lifted and her eyes found his. “Luke?

  “Yeah…?” He said hoarsely and held his breath as he waited for her to speak.

  “I need help.” She whispered softly.

  Cara’s Journal: September 22

  Dear Jake,

  I feel you frowning down on me. You’re cursing me, for making your mom cry. You’re restraining yourself from losing your shit for making your brother pace around like a lost puppy. I’m only sorry I made your mom cry. The truth is I’m happy you’re frowning. Screw you, you bailed on me. You’re no different than any other person I thought loved me. And if I’m being completely honest, I’m happy your brother is running in circles, serves him right for being so fucking annoying. Since you died, he’s everywhere. There is no escaping him and his worried eyes. His pleading eyes are haunting me. I’ve had nightmares about the disapproving looks he gives me. Screw him too.

  I almost did it! I was so close, but the universe wasn’t finished fucking with me. I should’ve died the night I crashed the car. I was high as a kite. My new best friend never disappoints. But no such luck, I lived through. I got to see your mama cry and beg me to live. Had to swallow my pride and ask Luke for help. I’m in the hospital and I just passed the room you took your final breath in. I saw the familiar faces of the nurses and doctors that had to watch me every day you were here. They whisper and give me their condolences. Screw them too.

  Now I’m sitting in the hospital waiting in the lobby for Luke to pick me up. Someone has to drive the junkie to rehab, and with one best friend six feet under, and the other about to become a distant memory,

  Luke was my only option.

  Screw all of you.

  I still love you, you asshole.

  I miss you like crazy.

  Screw This.

  I’m pissed.

  Cara.

  Chapter Three

  Luke glanced at Cara out of the corner of his eye as he drove along the interstate. She was fidgeting with her hands that were lying in her lap. She was looking out the window as they drove out of New York. He turned his attention back to the road that was open ahead of them.

  He was beginning to hate silence and was growing increasingly uncomfortable with only his thoughts to occupy him. He reached down to turn the radio on hoping to release some of the tension.

  After she had asked him for help he immediately went to work researching different facilities that would help her kick her addiction. She hadn’t fought him on any of his suggestions and simply told him her only concern was that she didn’t want to be too far from home. He chose Lakeview Health and Treatment Center in Pennsylvania. It was the closest in-house treatment center to home. He watched as she wrapped her arms around herself, a chill traveling through her body.

  “Are you cold?” He said reaching for the heat.

  “A little bit.” She said as she rubbed her arms vigorously.

  “There’s a sweatshirt in the back seat.” He said simply and raised the temperature in the truck. Cara unsnapped her seat belt and leaned over the console, her arm brushed Luke’s and he caught the scent of her perfume. His fingers gripped the steering wheel as she dug around the back seat looking for his sweatshirt. He damned himself to hell as he stole a glance at her ass that was just inches from his shoulder.

  “Did you find it?” He said huskily just as she snatched the sweatshirt and crawled back into her seat.

  “Got it.” She declared and pulled it over her head, pushing her arms through the sleeves. The sweatshirt was swimming on her. Luke supposed if she stood it would come down to her knees. She rolled the sleeves up and then buckled her seat belt again. “Thanks.” She said.

  “No problem.” He said with his eyes on the road. He was not about to admit he liked the way she looked in his shirt. Christ, Luke, get a hold of yourself, he reprimanded and clutched the steering wheel again for good measure.

  She turned around and looked at him for a moment. She needed a distraction. Something to take her mind off the fact that she was an addict on her way to a rehabilitation center, so she took in the outline of his jaw and how his hair curled peeking out from underneath the baseball cap he was wearing, just above his ears. She tried to think if she had ever seen him with a hat on.

  “What’s with the cap?” She asked as she tilted her head to get a better view. It was a New York Yankee hat.

  “I need a haircut.” He answered honestly and spiked her curiosity. “And besides, the Yankees are in the playoffs. Need to root for my team.” He said lightly. He glanced at her and winked easing the tension.

  “I’m a Met’s fan.” She said although she wasn’t really. She didn’t have a preference, but for some reason she needed to be on the opposing side.

  “Of course you are.” He said with the faintest hint of a smile playing on his lips.

  She turned her head and stared back out of the window. He looked at her. “Are you warmer? I can turn the heat up more if you’d like.” He offered even as his forehead perspired underneath the rim of his cap.

  “No, I’m fine.” She looked back at him. “Thank you for taking me. I know you probably have a thousand other things you should be doing.” She thought that sounded better than pointing out he had other responsibilities that took precedence over seeing his late brother’s whatever she was, off to rehab, so she refrained.

  “It’s no trouble.” He looked at her for a moment, and their eyes met, before he turned back to the road. “I’m just happy that you asked me to help.”

  It was her turn to mock him and she smiled slightly, a foreign thing to her these days. “Of course you are.”

  He ignored her comment even though his lips curved the tiniest bit. “We should be there in a few minutes, this is the exit.” He said as he motioned with his head that they were veering off the exit.

  She stared straight ahead, her nerves began to consume her and she started to fidget again. The old Cara would be rambling on and on about some sort of nonsense in a time like this. The old Cara wouldn’t be going to rehab in the first place, she reminded herself. Her palms began to sweat as the GPS directed Luke where to turn. Wherever they were headed was isolated and full of trees. Off in the distance she could see a lake and knew they were near. She took a deep breath and bit down on her lip. She closed her eyes and tried to calm herself. She was about to embark on a journey, one she had control over. She though
t back to the words that she had reminded Jake of when he was going for his first dose of chemotherapy. “The first step is the hardest.” What kind of coward was she that she was nervous like this? The love of her life had taken on a fight that he had no control of, a fight that they knew could claim him in the end. She reminded herself that she could fight because there was hope. All she had to do was take the first step.

  Luke rounded the bend and slowed down as they made their way in front of the center. It looked like a resort that had been tucked away overlooking a lake, he thought, and felt a little more comfortable that he was leaving her in a decent place. It was almost serene. He pulled into a spot that was assigned to visitors and turned the car off. Her hand gripped the handle of her door tightly yet she remained perfectly still.

  “I’ll grab your suitcase.” He said softly as he watched her nod before he got out of the truck to retrieve the suitcase from the back. She heard the tailgate open up and Luke rustle around in the back of the truck. She took a deep breath, and felt as if she was going to be sick. She bent down and dropped her head to her knees and prayed she wouldn’t lose it.

  Luke came around and opened her door. “Cara?”

  “I can’t do this.” She said weakly.

  “Hey…” He dropped the suitcase beside him and placed a hand on her back. “Look at me.” He said and waited for her to do so. She slowly lifted her head to meet his gaze, looking at him expectantly. He reached for her left hand and gestured towards her hand. She looked down and saw his finger tip run along the tattoo of strength she had scripted on her ring finger. “You see that?” He asked, watching as she gazed down at their hands and the way his fingertip underlined the word.