Broken Pieces (Riverdale #2) Read online

  “What are you doing here?”

  She looked around surveying the tiny room and took a step inside the office. Her eyes found Nick’s and her features softened just a touch. “I came here for a few reasons. The first being, I know you lost someone you cared a great deal about, so I came to offer my condolences to you.”

  Nick stared at her for a moment, trying to figure out her angle. Did she really expect him to believe she was here because Jake had passed away? He shook his head, typical of his mother to use his friend’s death to her advantage.

  “Why don’t you do yourself a favor and cut the shit. You didn’t come here to give your condolences. You can’t stand the Lanza’s, Jake’s death is probably a victory for an evil sadistic bitch like you.” Nick said through his gritted teeth. He could feel his blood pressure rising by the throbbing in his head.

  Lucille swallowed, taking a minute to respond. “You have no idea what I feel towards that family. You assume you know.” She shook her head. “I wouldn’t wish death upon anyone, least of all Jake.” Her voice was strained and if one didn’t know Lucille, they would think she was sincere. Luckily for Nick, he saw right through his mother’s façade.

  “I didn’t come here to upset you. I came to see my son.”

  “You don’t have a son. You have a man you gave birth to. That’s it.”

  “Don’t say that Nick, please.” She looked at him, gesturing to the empty seat. “May I sit?”

  He shrugged, and she took that as her answer. She sat down and stared at him. Nick felt like he was suffocating. All he wanted was for her to leave, and now she fucking pulled up a chair. He sighed heavily and glanced up at her. “I’m pretty busy, so if you’d just get to the point.”

  Lucille knew coming here, that her son wouldn’t welcome her, still she had wanted to see him. Maybe get a chance to explain things to him. “I don’t expect you to forgive, what I did. I’d like a chance to explain why I did, what I did.”

  “I don’t care to know, why you were a vindictive bitch. I put that to bed, and chalked it up to you were just a shitty mother, not happy in your own life, so you ruined mine.”

  She pondered his words, and waited a bit before nodding. “That was partly it. I was miserable with my life, but I didn’t want to ruin your life. I wanted you to have the best life, I could ever have imagined for you.”

  “Yeah, well, maybe you should’ve thought about what I wanted instead of what you imagined.”

  “Maybe you’re right. I should’ve paid more attention to what you wanted.” She paused. “Is this what you want, Nick? You want to own a repair shop?”

  “Don’t you dare patronize me,” He said sharply, angrily.

  “I’m not. I’m asking you because I want to hear you say it. I want you to tell me what you want from life, for once and for all.”

  “Yes, this is what I want. I want to own this shop with Luke. I want to restore old cars, and sell them to the highest bidder. I want to take this business the furthest it can go, and all because I enjoy doing it. Is that good enough for you?” Nick replayed his words in his head. He stated them without any hesitation, which to him only validated that he was meant to stay in Riverdale. To hell with his father and Erica, they could go to hell in a hand basket for all he cared.

  “Yes.” She said simply. “What else do you want?”

  “I want you to stay out of my business. I don’t know what your problem is with the Lanza’s and I don’t care either. I want you to know and to respect, that they are a part of me.” He took a breath and stared into his mother’s aging eyes. He figured it was best to cut to the chase. His mother was no fool, part of the reason she had blackmailed him all those years ago was because of his budding relationship with Sam.

  “I want you to stay away from Sam.” He waited a beat, expecting her to grimace or shake her head in disgust. Something to show just how much she loathed the idea, but she didn’t. He watched as she stayed perfectly still, listening to him. “When you shipped me out of here, you cut my heart out. All this business shit, you, all that didn’t mean shit to me back then. She meant something to me, and you knew that. That was the real reason you made me leave, wasn’t it?”

  She looked down at her hands, folded them upon her lap. When she glanced up at him, Nick would’ve sworn on a stack of bibles, that her eyes were full of tears. Not knowing how he felt about that, he averted his eyes.

  “May I speak?” she asked hoarsely and when he didn’t answer she continued. “When your father left me, a part of me left with him. I became so self-absorbed in my own self-pity, that I let that dictate the kind of mother I became. You became everything to me. You were all I had left. I know that the first couple of years after your dad left that I wasn’t there for you. You would spend all your time with Luke and his family. For the most part, I was happy that they were good to you, and I figured they helped you through the divorce.

  As time went on, and I became more aware of the emptiness in my life, I started to notice that you and I didn’t even have a relationship anymore. You looked at Debbie Lanza, more as a mother, then you looked at me as one. I had no one to blame for that but myself. Sure, I tried to blame Deb, even blamed Joe, but in the back of my head I knew how ridiculous I was being. It just helped me get through it at the time.”

  Nick stared at his mother, listening to her words, and contemplating if what she said was true. After his parents had divorced his mother was never there for him. He would hate to go home after school, and so he didn’t. He stayed at the Lanza’s, they never asked questions, just always held the door open for him.

  “I knew they weren’t being anything but good people. It just didn’t make me feel better about myself, or the fact that I had lost you on top of losing your father. There were days when I was happy that they were there for you. Like when you and Luke joined the football team. Your father wasn’t around to teach you how to throw a ball, but when Joe taught Luke, he taught you too. One day, I ran into Deb at the grocery store. She was going on and on about how her Sam, had the biggest crush on you. She couldn’t have been happier. Then it dawned on me why, she was so happy. She loved you like her own son, who better for her daughter to end up with, she knew you and Sam could be perfect together.”

  She was crying. For as long as Nick could recall, the only time he remembered seeing his mother cry, was the day his father left.

  “When Luke had gotten that girl pregnant, and she left him with the baby, it scared me. The only reason why Luke, is the man he is, the father he is, is because of the support system he had. That family rallied around him, and did anything they possibly could to help him be the noble person, he is. It got me thinking, I wasn’t a support system for you. I wasn’t even a mother to you. What if you would have gotten their daughter pregnant, could you handle it the way Luke had? You didn’t come from that background. You came from a mother who couldn’t lift her head off the couch for three years after your father left, what would you know about stepping up to the plate. It wasn’t your fault, just another one of mine.”

  He ran his fingers over his hair, struggling not to let the emotions of his mother’s words overcome him. He swallowed the lump in his throat and listened as she continued.

  “I accepted that they loved you and you loved them. I knew they were everything I wasn’t to you. And when I realized that you could be in that situation with Samantha, I feared you losing them and succumbing to what I was. What if you couldn’t be the man that did the right thing, like Luke? No one taught you that. Not me, nor your father, because whenever our backs are against the wall, we fall apart. They’d rally around their daughter, their only daughter. Not for one minute, can one doubt the lengths those parents would go to for her. Where would that leave you? You would’ve been alone, without the only family you’ve ever really known. You wouldn’t have turned to me, and I wouldn’t have blamed you.” She took a deep breath and sniffled.

  “I used that incident with Jake, to get you out of here, because
it was the only thing I thought, would allow me to help you.” She brushed an invisible piece of lint off her pants, and looked up at him. “I’m sorry I hurt you, and stood in your way of happiness. At the time I really thought I was doing what was best for you. Another reason I came here today is to assure you, that I want you to be happy.” She studied his face, traces of hope alive in her eyes as she spoke. “I watched you at the cemetery. I saw how you stood beside her and held her when she cried. I saw the noble man you were taking care of the woman you love.”

  Nick blew out a breath and shook his head. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  He and Sam were nothing more than… well hell if he knew what they were. He did love her, he always did, but not the way his mother was talking about. There wasn’t a noble bone in his body. A noble man doesn’t screw his friend’s sister after he died, to ease his own fucking pain. Nick was far from noble. In fact his mother was right. If he had stayed in Riverdale he would’ve screwed everything up with Sam eventually, losing the only family he’s ever known. The hard truth was that if he stayed now, the same thing would end up happening and on the heels of Jake’s death to boot.

  “I know what I saw Nick. I am a lot of things, but naïve is not one of them. I want you to know that you are good enough. I’m proud of you because you are a man who goes after what you want, and there is nothing more, noble than that. I may not have had anything to do with you becoming the man in front of me, but I am proud of what I see.”

  She wiped away at her tears and stood up. She smiled softly at Nick, as he looked away trying to hide the lone tear that had escaped his eyes. He may never agree with her reasoning, but a small part of him understood it. She was just another damaged soul.

  “Just one more thing, before I leave.” She reached into her purse and placed a small black box on his desk.

  He looked at the box, and his gut clenched. He inhaled sharply.

  “What is it?”

  He leaned over the desk, his fingers almost afraid to touch it, like it would burn them.

  “Open it.” She whispered. He glanced up at her for a moment before staring back at the little black box. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes as his fingers opened the velvet box slowly. He gasped, staring down at a beautiful solitaire diamond ring. His eyes looked up at her questioning.

  “It was your grandmothers. Did you know they met right before your grandfather went to war?” She smiled, and as she told him the story, he could almost picture his grandmother telling it. “They had been childhood friends, I think they were neighbors, I’m not sure. When your grandfather enlisted in the army, he was eighteen, your grandmother sixteen. He left to go overseas and she waited for him. He came home years later and proposed to her with that ring.” She smiled and pointed to the box. “Your grandparents had a lot of love for each other, and a beautiful marriage. When, you find yourself ready, it’s yours if you wish to use it. I just wanted you to have it.”

  Nick stared at the ring, and in that instant, he pictured Sam wearing it. Like a flash of lightning, he saw their future before his eyes. He could see it all, proposing, marrying her, even, a, house full of children. The image ended, with the memory of Sam patting him on the chest and saying ‘Thank You’. Even if what his mother had said was true and he did love her, it would never matter. He looked up at his mother, his face full of emotion, his heart on his sleeve. “Thank you.” He whispered.

  She smiled sadly, “You’re welcome.” Lucille turned and walked out of Nick’s office, leaving him to stare his future in the face.

  * * * * * *

  Sam was shoving the last of her paperwork into her tote bag. Her class had been dismissed twenty minutes ago and she had stayed behind to grade some papers. Phillip poked his head through her classroom door.

  “Oh good, you’re still here.” Phillip said as he made a beeline straight for her desk. Sam looked up and smiled at him.

  Sam cocked an eyebrow at him when he leaned against her desk and crossed his arms against his chest. He stared at her questioningly.

  “What?” She asked innocently and she was, innocent that is, because she had no idea why he was looking at her like that.

  “You’ve been avoiding me like the plague, Samantha.” He tilted his head to the side and tapped his index finger against the tip of his chin in deep thought.

  “I have not!” She said defensively. “I’ve just had a lot going on. When I’m not here, I’m going back and forth between my parent’s house and my apartment.”

  “So you’re not avoiding me?” He asked, but by the look in his eyes he wasn’t buying it. He leaned forward and arched his perfectly waxed eyebrows. “Because I have the strangest hunch that you, my dear friend have a dirty little secret.” He pointed his finger at her and waved it vicariously towards her. “That you’re not sharing.” Then in true, Phillip fashion, he emphasized his point by pouting.

  Sam rolled her eyes before slinging her tote bag over her shoulder. “Secrets are meant to stay secrets. If I had a dirty one it wouldn’t be ethical to share.” She said in a matter of fact tone.

  “Fine if your ethics get in the way, then you leave me no choice.” He pushed himself off the desk and headed towards the door. Sam watched him and couldn’t help but wonder what he was up to.

  “Where are you going?” She reluctantly asked.

  Phillip gazed over his shoulder at her with a gleam in his eyes. “I’m going to see if Nick is aware of the secret you’re hiding. I think he’d be concerned…”

  “Phillip!” Sam screeched. “You wouldn’t dare.” She narrowed her eyes and silently dared him.

  “Oh, wouldn’t I!” He said devilishly and Sam scowled at him, her shoulders slumping in defeat.

  “You know I’m revoking your best friend card right?” He rolled his eyes and tapped his foot impatiently waiting for her to spill the beans. “Okay, so maybe Nick and I have been…” She paused and chewed on her bottom lip as she tried to figure out what exactly one could label what they have been doing.

  “Screwing like rabbits, I knew it! I told Mallory you definitely were shagging the panty dropper.”

  Sam went from outraged to confused, in less than a second. She frowned and looked at him. “Shagging? Who even uses that term anymore?”

  “I knew it!” He said as he shook his head grinning at her. He was so proud of himself it made her sick. “I want all the details.”

  “I’ll pass. Besides, you seem to have yourself a pretty good mental picture of what’s been going on, wouldn’t want to alter it in anyway.” She reached for her tote bag, pulling with a little extra force to ensure she pried it from his hands.

  “Okay, fine, so you don’t want to kiss and tell.” Phillip rolled his eyes. “May I point out that your timing to grow a conscience sucks? The details of Nick doing all kinds of sexy things would have fueled my libido for eons.” He said so dramatically that even though Sam wanted to smack him silly she had to laugh. “Just throw me a bone, a sliver of info, please. You would if you loved me.”

  “Fine, there isn’t much to tell. Nick and I are just having casual sex. Hell, it’s more likely we are just fulfilling each other’s needs until the next best thing comes along.” She shrugged her shoulders as if it was as easy as that. The truth was she had no idea what they were doing. She told herself that she was using him to forget. Some people turned to alcohol. She turned to sex with Nick. As long as she reminded her heart every once in a while that he wasn’t hers, that what they had was just physical, she would be okay. So far so good. She chanced a glance at Phillip, who was looking at her as if she had six heads.

  “You believe that?” He asked incredulously.

  “Yes, of course.” She said adamantly. “Besides, before Jake’s cancer took a turn for the worse, I overheard him on the phone while we were still in Atlantic City.” She looked down at her nails, making a mental note to make a manicure appointment. “I think it’s only a matter of time before he goes back to Seattle.”<
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  “What makes you think that?” Phillip questioned.

  She shrugged. “By the phone conversation I overheard it just seemed like he has some unfinished business in Seattle.” She swallowed and turned away. She didn’t want Phillip to read right through her and see the fear in her eyes. Fear that the unfinished business had to do with her former best friend. Phillip shook his head and placed his hands on Sam’s shoulders.

  “Girlfriend, you are playing with fire.” Yeah, she was and without a fire extinguisher. She turned around and mustered up her best smile.

  “Stop worrying! I’m only living a little.” It wasn’t necessarily a lie, she did feel the most alive when she was with Nick. Still, she knew eventually this would blow up in her face. It always did when it came to Nick.

  * * * * * *

  Nick parked his truck behind Rudy’s. He reached over the passenger seat and grabbed the brown paper bag. It felt like it had been years since he stopped at a liquor store but in reality it hadn’t been that long. Back in Seattle he would treat himself to a bottle of Jack every night on his way home from the office. He’d sit in his hotel suite and drown himself in liquor and think of the life he missed.

  He kicked close the door of his truck and started for the iron staircase that led to his apartment. He thought it was ironic. Now here he was in the life he longed for and he was still drowning himself. He couldn’t wait to crack the bottle open, but first he needed a shower. He needed to wash away the conversation he had with his mother. He reached into his back pocket to pull out his keys when he lifted his head he almost fell backwards on the steps. Sam was sitting on the landing, her back against the door of his apartment. She looked up at him and offered him a half of a smile. Nick wondered what kind of joke the man upstairs was playing with him.

  Sam nodded towards the brown bag that Nick clutched in his hands. “What’s in the bag?”