Backroads Read online

  “As long as the ditches didn’t completely flood, it’ll be fine,” he says, taking the coffee from my hand to set it down. Before I can protest, he dips me back, causing my knees to bend and my arms to go around his neck. He looks me deep in the eyes. “I can’t explain how grateful I am you are okay.” He pauses. “But more than that, I’m glad you stayed.”

  He then thoroughly kisses me, taking my breath away, before placing me on my feet and handing me my coffee. He pecks my cheek once more, and when he walks out the door, he leaves me speechless, and I wonder if my heart is going to beat right out of my chest.

  Sneaking back into the main house was about as easy as one, two... nope, not going to happen.

  Linda is already done preparing for breakfast.

  Knowing I look as guilty as I feel, I slink over to the sink and start doing the dishes.

  She doesn’t say anything while I work. The dishes clinking together in the sink and the water rushing from the faucet are the only sounds in the room.

  Maybe we are going to do this the adult way. Which means ignore it and pretend like everything is normal. That sounds awesome to me, I think to myself.

  With the dishes done, I wait for the water to drain so I can scrub the sink out. Rinse it out. Pat it dry with a dish rag. When I can’t prolong my task anymore, I finally turn to face her.

  Linda is leaning against the opposite counter, arms crossed and holding a cup of coffee. She lifts the mug to her lips while her judgy eyes focus on me with the power of a laser beam.

  We stare at each other for a long moment before she breaks our silence. “Spill it.”

  Not knowing how to start this conversation with her, I wonder if playing dumb will work—the “I don’t know what you’re talking about” act.

  Before I can open my mouth to attempt it, she comes back at me with “First you leave with your car, and when you don’t come back after an hour, I send Chase after you. Then he returns. With you. Without your car. And you spend the night in his cabin.” She sips her coffee while I stand there openmouthed. She knows everything. “And if I’m not mistaken, that’s a hickey on your neck. I’m not even going to point out the rats’ nest on top of your head, so spill it. This old lady needs to hear some details,” she says with amusement in her voice.

  My hand mindlessly goes to cover my neck where the hickey is while I paw at my wild hair with the other. I thought I had fingercombed through it well enough before putting it up in a messy bun, but apparently that isn’t cutting it.

  Slumping in defeat, I pull a chair out from under the counter.

  “Fine. What do you want to know that you don’t already?”

  With a twinkle in her eye, she replies, “Everything.”

  “Everything? Everything?”

  She nods in encouragement. “Everything.”

  I get up again to get my own cup of coffee. “I feel like this is a conversation that would be better while drinking. Maybe we should wait till later,” I say, hopeful she will agree.

  “You’re right,” she says, and I instantly feel relieved. I need more time to process my thoughts before sharing them.

  Linda gets up and rummages around in a cupboard next to the sink. “This will do,” she says to herself.

  She’s holding a bottle of Bailey’s Irish Cream.

  “Crap,” I mutter to myself as she generously adds some to both our cups.

  “Well, now that we’ve got that going for us, let’s hear it. I’m ready.” Her smile is screaming at me to confess all the dirty things Chase and I did to each other.

  I can’t look at her if I’m going to do this, so I spin on the stool and look outside in time to watch Chase get in his truck.

  Letting out a frustrated sigh, I begin. “I spent the night with him.”

  “And?”

  “And...” I take a chance and glance at her over my shoulder, my face starting to heat as a blush spreads across it. “And it was, hands down, the best night of my life.”

  A giddy squeal of laughter erupts from her. “Come on, girl, give me more than that. Was he... you know.” She put her hands up about a foot apart. “Big? Good? Give me details. But not too many—I still have to look him in the eye.”

  Now I’m the one laughing in embarrassment as I watch her talk animatedly with her hands. “You did not just ask me that.”

  She nods. “Yes I did. I never get to do this with Alexis. So you’re getting the mother treatment. Kind of.”

  I still don’t know how to answer her, never having had these types of conversations with my own mother. My aunt has been more motherly to me than my own ever has; how are you supposed to answer these types of questions to a mother?

  Thinking quickly, I reply, “Let’s just say that man is blessed all over.”

  She visibly swallows. “Like really blessed?”

  “Yup. Like I don’t care what religion he’s selling, I’ll be getting down on my knees to pray to him, kind of blessed.”

  We both start laughing in hysterics as I make the sign of the cross.

  “Seriously, I’m not sure if this makes things better or worse between us.” I sigh, wiping away the tears of laughter.

  Linda is also wiping at her eyes. “It will be for the better I’m sure of it. Just remember, if you guys are going to be ‘praying’ to each other all night long to do it at his cabin. I don’t need the guests complaining about you two. Or watching out the big window like the other night.”

  I think about what Chase said last night and how it was almost exactly the same thing, and I shake my head.

  Linda asks a few more questions about how I feel about him and what this means for the both of us. I can’t answer her. I’m too scared to think about what this could mean. Can’t I just enjoy it for now and figure it out as we go?

  What I know right now is I like the way he makes me feel. The way he’s gone out of his way to let me know I’m important to him. The way he ignores other women whether I’m next to him or not. The way he looks at me as though he has to hold himself back from attacking me.

  Then there’s the simple way he held me. How he didn’t want to let me go. Where had that physical contact been my whole life?

  Linda’s voice breaks my train of thought. “I’m glad the end of your day was better than the start of it. After you left my office... I was so worried. I love you and I’m here to help. We can figure this out together now. Did you talk to Chase about it?”

  The guilt of keeping it from him hits me like a sledgehammer. I shake my head. “No. At first there wasn’t time to talk, then... then he just made me feel so... so...” I search for the words, but there is only one word I can come up with. “He made me feel so much. I felt safe with him, cared for, wanted... loved.”

  She sits up with wide eyes.

  “Not love, love. Not that kind of love, just loved. You weren’t there when he found me. The way he held me. I was falling apart, and when he gathered me in his arms, it was like he held me together. Like with him I was whole. I couldn’t tell him in that moment. If he would have let me go... I would have fallen apart. I needed him.” Saying it out loud doesn’t take the heavy weight in the pit of my stomach away. I need to tell him before it’s too late. If things go badly for me, he needs to know.

  The thought of him not looking at me the same way scares the shit out me. What if he can’t handle it? What if he sees me how Daniel sees me? Replaceable.

  Looking back over the last couple of weeks, I’ve been horrible to him at times, trying to keep him at arm’s length. And yet time and time again he still came after me. He still wanted me. I can only hope after I tell him he still sees me the same way.

  “Honey, from what I’ve seen, you’re the only woman in his eyes. He really likes you and deserves to know what’s going on.”

  I put my head in my hands. “I know I like him—that’s why I tried to push him away. I don’t have a good track record with men.”

  “Have you ever tried to keep one away like you have Chas
e?”

  I don’t even have to think about that question; I’ve never tried to keep a man away like him. “No.”

  “Well, take that as a sign he will be different from them. He already is. Talk to him. Tell him what’s going on. He deserves to know if you want this.” She downs her coffee before getting up. “Try not to be late every morning, and brush your damn hair, girl.” She shoos me out of the kitchen. “I’d hug you, but I can smell him on you.” She laughs.

  I can’t help the ear-to-ear grin on my face as I walk to my room.

  The rest of the day is spent trying to make up for my late start.

  Thankfully Beth will be around later and can help with the main house, because keeping my mind on any single task is proving very difficult.

  My phone has more texts from Daniel. Anytime he mentions the engagement ring, I wonder if he wants it back to give to the trash he is with now.

  I’m going to take Linda’s advice and talk with Chase about all this later. The only way to move forward is to close the book on my past.

  Walking over to the horse barn, I notice my car is back, reminding me of him pulling me from it. The look in his eyes will haunt me, the shake in his voice when he asked if I was okay. Linda was right; I need to tell him the whole story about my ex. I only hope he doesn’t change his mind about me.

  A bitter thought runs through my mind: Better he changes his mind now than when I’m living with him and his ring on my finger.

  I stop midstep as a flood of emotions I’ve been trying to keep tucked away course through me. He’s not my ex, and I need to stop thinking he will be.

  Things with Chase run deeper than I want to admit. Him fishing my car out of the ditch is another example of how he takes care of me without asking him to.

  Continuing to the barn, I talk myself through how I’m going to tell him tonight.

  Feeding the horses is easier than riding them. Chase promises to take me out alone soon. I’m not quite as intimidated by them since I’ve been taking care of them in the evening.

  Traveler is still large, but the way he approaches me makes me feel at ease with him. I’m busy watching them eat their oats and grain, admiring their beauty, and I don’t hear him come up behind me. He startles me when his hands wrap around my waist, and I squeal out a surprised yelp that has the horses trotting away.

  “You scared me.” I swat at the familiar arm as he chuckles into my hair, refusing to let me go.

  “I’m sorry, Princess, but when you bent over, I couldn’t help myself. I had to get my hands on you.” His voice drops a few octaves lower, and he runs his hands down my side, pulling me firmly against him.

  His touch already feels familiar to me as we sway together. As if jealous, Traveler paws at the ground and blows hard through his nose. “Don’t worry, big guy. I think we can get her talked into another ride soon.” Chase reaches out and nuzzles Traveler’s snout.

  “Oh, you think so?” I tease.

  “You know what they say: you gotta get back up on the horse and ride.” His double entendre isn’t missed by me.

  My body starts to hum with him so close. “What if I’m scared to fall again?” I hope he doesn’t miss what I’m trying to say.

  He holds me tight to him. “I’ll always be there to catch you.”

  I want to believe him. He hasn’t given me a reason not to.

  I step away from him, needing the space to breathe.

  “Hey.” He tries to reach for me again. “I mean it. If you give me the chance, I will catch you.”

  I can’t help but smile. I know he’s trying to comfort me, but I’m nervous about what I need to tell him. Maybe I should rip it off like a Band-Aid and tell him now.

  “There you two are,” Linda says, interrupting anything further I was going to say. “I was just bringing these ladies down to show them the horses.”

  “My, my, aren’t they beautiful!” one of them exclaims.

  “And big,” the other says, looking at Chase in a way that suggests she wouldn’t mind taking him for a ride.

  Eyeing the older woman, I try to assess her age. Maybe forty.

  “Are you the one that would take us out? Show us around?” the woman asks, biting her bottom lip.

  I watch his body language turn rigid while he tries not to make eye contact with them. He glances at me with a nervous look, and I cave by rescuing him. I grab his hand and lace my fingers with his, and I feel him relax as I step in front of him. He wraps his arm around my waist.

  “Actually, ladies, we both would be taking you out. Kind of a package deal if you know what I mean.” I wink at them with a big smile on my face.

  Their smiles falter for a second before one chimes in. “Oh, uh, yeah. That is if we have time while we’re here.”

  Linda folds her arms across her chest with a smirk on her face, watching from behind the women.

  “We really wanted to see the horses.” Their demeanor shifts into a genuine interest in the horses.

  The ladies chat among themselves, moving from horse to horse and talking about how pretty they are.

  “I thought you might pee on his leg in front of us,” Linda says quietly enough so only we can hear her.

  Chase coughs, trying to cover up a laugh, while I roll my eyes. “Don’t be surprised if I do next time.”

  Laughing, he pulls me against him. “I only have eyes for you, Princess, but I like when you come to my rescue.” Leaning down, he kisses me on my collarbone.

  Linda’s eyes go wide, eating up his affection toward me. “My, my, I think I like where this is going.” She laughs and swats my thigh before catching up with the ladies.

  Waiting for Linda to exit with them, Chase surprises me by tugging me into an empty stall and shutting the door. “Fuck, that was hot watching you get all territorial on me.” He lays a trail of kisses down my neck.

  I laugh. “Now that I can, I’m going to let others know they can look but can’t touch.” I walk my fingers up his chest to tease him.

  He picks me up, and I wrap my legs around him as he presses me up against the wall. He shakes his head slightly. “Is it weird hearing you say that turns me on?”

  I can feel him growing hard between us and know what he means. I pull him to me, kissing him hard. “I like others knowing you’re mine,” I say between kisses.

  He rocks into me so I can feel how much he also likes it. “Holly, I...”

  “There you two are. Linda said you were in here,” Charlie says from the door.

  Growling in frustration, he says softly, “I forgot I told him I’d help him move some equipment.”

  I smile at his almost painful expression and kiss him again. “It’s fine. We’ll have time later.”

  “Do you need me to come back in ten minutes?” Charlie teases.

  “No!” we both yell at him, laughing.

  “Ten minutes wouldn’t be enough time,” I say with a knowing smile.

  “Not near enough.” He kisses me again, knowing Charlie is probably watching. “You’re staying with me again tonight,” he says as a statement.

  “Yes.” One hundred percent yes.

  He strokes my cheek with the back of his hand. “Every night.”

  “Yes.”

  “The things you do to me, Princess,” he says, brushing his lips over mine. His blue eyes dance with warmth.

  I’m reminded I still need to tell him everything. My gut churns not being fully honest with him. I don’t want to lose the look he has in his eyes right now.

  “I don’t think I knew what happy could be till you came along,” I say, wrapping my arms around his neck.

  “I know I didn’t.” He takes one more look at me with a boyish smile. “I’ll see you later.” He kisses me quickly before setting me down.

  “So this thing with you and Holly seems pretty hot.”

  I know Charlie is just trying to get dirty details. I’ve heard him and Lee go back and forth plenty to know what he’s asking.

  “Yup.” He’s n
ot getting anything from me.

  “Ah, come on. This is the first woman you’ve hooked up with since we met. And it’s Holly—hot-as-fuck Holly, ‘hello, those shorts, that ass’ Holly. You gotta give me something.” The more he goes on, the more irritated I get.

  One glance and I can tell he isn’t going to let it go. “She’s more than a hookup, and since that’s all you seem capable of, I don’t know if you’ll understand anything beyond that. And stop staring at her ass and flirting with her, unless you want me to kick your ass.” He’s close to my size, but I have height and more than a few pounds of muscles on him.

  “Holy shit! Are you in love with her already? And there is no way I’m going to stop looking at that ass. Dude, the shorts. I don’t have to say any more.”

  Love? It’s too soon for that. I think.

  “Someday, Charlie, you’re going to look at a woman and want more. It will happen. And I better not catch you looking at her ass.” He’s pissing me off. “And stop talking about it.”

  He laughs at my grumbling. “I’m just messing with you, Chase. All joking aside, good for you. For real, I didn’t think you were going to pull it off. It took you long enough. She’s smokin’ hot, and hopefully now the single guests won’t ogle you if you’re pawing all over her.”

  “All good things are worth waiting for.” I would wait for her for a very long time. “And guests do not ogle me.”

  He rolls his eyes. “Dude, they do. It’s fun to watch sometimes. And the ladies in town are always asking why you don’t go and pick up whatever Linda sends us there for. I don’t know what they see in all of that.” He gestures to me up and down with a scrunched-up face.

  “Whatever.”

  “Lee owes me fifty bucks.” Laughing, Charlie hits the steering wheel.

  I give in and ask, “Okay. Why?”

  With a smug look of satisfaction, he replies, “We had a bet going whether you would actually hook up with her or not. I bet on you. Lee didn’t. He didn’t think you knew how to use your dick anymore.”

  “Asshole.” Making bets? Really? “What else do you guys have bets on involving Holly and me?”