Dirty Rock: A Rock Star Romance Read online

  Owning what I owned.

  Being who I was: Rhett fucking Ryan.

  Lead singer of the world’s most talked about British rock band, Youth Gone Wild.

  We were killing the charts, smashing records, winning awards, and we had so much more to give. Within three years, Presley, Big D, Hawk, Coops, and I had achieved more than bands ten times our age, and we’d done it all with cocksure grins on our faces. The others had their own reasons for being smug. Mine? Mine were plentiful, and a fleeting memory of high school bullies and people telling me I couldn’t achieve shit flitted through my mind before I forced it back and pushed all those faces away.

  “Motherfuckers!” I cried, gasping for breath as I strode towards my bandmates, pushing my overgrown black hair away from my eyes.

  Our lead strummer, Hawk, turned and slapped me on the back as I passed him. Coops, our rhythm guitarist, had already made his way backstage to find alcohol or pussy, while Big D, the burly bass player, was currently talking to our drummer, Presley, and his girlfriend Tessa—the girlfriend who wasn’t meant to be here.

  No permanent women. That’s what we’d promised each other three years ago when we’d been starting out. We vowed to stay true to the dream. To focus on the songs. To conquer the world.

  And then that blonde-haired fool decided to go and fall in love.

  Fat lot of good those promises had done.

  Throwing my arms around Big D’s and Presley’s shoulders, I pulled them into me, jerking them back and forth as I stared at Tessa, the illegal immigrant of our tour.

  “Fuck me. Was I good out there, or was I good out there?” I cried.

  Tessa Lisbon—also known as Cherry—with her cherry-red hair and her pretty gorgeous face, stared back at me, smirking. “I’ve seen you play better.”

  “The fuck you have.”

  “Pretty sure I heard you miss a note during Dirty, Dirty, Love Me, Rhett.”

  I glanced at Presley. “You know, I’d have respected you more if you’d chosen a pretty little brunette who had bigger tits than her mouth.”

  Presley stood taller before he shoved my shoulder. “I happen to like her tits and mouth just the way they are,” he said smoothly.

  He was smooth. Since the day I met him, Presley West had that whole cool king vibe down, and from the start, every member of the band had known he would be the one to draw the women’s attention our way. He was the rocker with the blonde surfer waves, black worn leather jacket he never took off when not on stage, and the too cool for school attitude that went with it. It pissed me off, the way he didn’t have to try, but I happened to love the guy anyway, despite his treachery. Still, Pres was in love or some bullshit, and he was a vital part of this band’s success. Without him, we were just another alternative rock piece of wank. My voice made us float. Presley’s beats were what carried us.

  Watching the way Tessa wrapped her arm around his waist, and the way she rested her head on his chest made me fake gag in front of them.

  “I’m getting out of here. You two make me want to puke.”

  “So long, sucker!” Tess called out when I strutted away, looking around the backstage area for anyone who could hold my interest who wasn’t sickeningly in love.

  Instead, I came chest-to-face with my short-haired publicist, Julia fucking Speed.

  Organiser of our lives and reputation.

  Pain in my absolute arse when I was buzzing like this. One look at her and I sensed a come down approaching.

  She smiled up at me with sparkling chocolate eyes that promised to annoy me. Jules was tiny, with a delicate frame, pointy cheekbones, and black hair that rivalled that of Demi Moore’s in that film where she makes clay pots in the middle of the night before her fella dies. But Jules pulled the look off. In fact, she could probably be beautiful if she wasn’t so fucking terrifying.

  I ran a hand through my soaking wet hair. “Let me guess. You’re about to give me a lecture.”

  “Would I do that?” She arched a perfectly shaped brow and folded her arms over her chest.

  “Yes. Every day.”

  “Weird how those lectures never seem to sink in, huh?”

  “I tune out when I’m being spoken to like a four-year-old.”

  “Don’t act like one, you won’t get treated like one, pretty boy.”

  “You’ve been in front of me for less than thirty seconds, and you’re already annoying.”

  “It’s a skill that’s taken years to perfect.”

  “No kidding.” I blew out all the air in my cheeks. “Fine. Let’s get this over with, shall we? No, Julia, I won’t misbehave tonight. I won’t go near the press with white shit around my nose. I won’t lock myself in the toilet, pass out, and make you have to call maintenance to unscrew the door. I promise not to get caught with my tongue in a random woman’s pussy… again. I promise to only drink alcohol served to me by people I trust. I won’t eat too much red meat. I won’t smoke the wacky shit. I won’t piss in any laundry baskets, thinking they’re toilets. I won’t offer a woman with blonde hair ten grand to wrap her lips around my dick and see how long she can stay there for without gagging. I won’t eat green skittles that turn me fucking crazy, and I won’t try and bring a stray dog back to my apartment and ask you if you can get it through customs for me.”

  “And?”

  I sighed. “And… I won’t ruin Presley’s surprise.”

  Julia’s smile broke free. It wasn’t beaming; more a gentle curve of her lips that suggested her contentment at my promise. “You only have to stay quiet until tomorrow. In the morning, he and Tess go their own way.”

  “How very Fleetwood Mac of them.”

  “That was horrendous. Truly. The worst joke you’ve ever made.”

  I flashed a toothy grin in response.

  She rolled her eyes and shook her head. “Just hold your tongue. Presley and Tess deserve this moment. He’s nervous. She’s clueless. I’m terrified one of you men are going to ruin it for them.”

  “You need to have more faith.”

  I glanced over her head and took in the way Presley was wrapped around his girlfriend. The two of them were standing by the bar at the far end of the room. He was cupping her neck with his hands, whispering sweet nothings down on her while she looked up at him adoringly. In all the time I’d been in Presley’s life, I’d never seen him happier than he was with her. Or as calm. That peace that hung over him, protecting him, keeping him immune to life’s bullshit, well…

  It pissed me off, and I had no idea why.

  My eyes dropped back down to Julia. “But, whatever. Yeah. I promise. Presley’s proposal stays secret with me. I won’t tell Tessa she’s about to have a ball and chain tied to her ankle for the rest of forever.”

  “Rhett...” she warned.

  “You have my word, Jules, Christ!”

  Julia’s delicate little shoulders sagged beneath her black, tailored blazer.

  “Now can I go find someone to suck my bellend?”

  Her nose curled instantly. “What is it like living with your mind?”

  “Beyond wonderful.”

  “Behave yourself.”

  “I’ll try.”

  Julia tapped the back of her hand against my chest. “Try harder.” She walked away, moving on to her next victim, and I watched her go with a smirk on my face. When I turned to face forward again, I was instantly greeted by two petite beauties. One blonde. One brunette. Both with the same look in their eyes: excited desperation.

  Who needed love?

  Fucking marriage…

  Who needed anything but quick relief with no ties?

  “You ladies here for me?” I pressed my hands to my chest as I looked between the two of them.

  The blonde blushed, and the brunette wiggled her arse around, giggling as she eyed me. I hated those fake giggles, but she was attractive enough to be forgiven for playing dumb when she probably didn’t need to.

  Holding my arms out, I glanced between the two as they latch
ed on. “My kind of girls. I’m fucking starving. Either of you beauties got anything tasty I can feast on?”

  Chapter Two

  I stared at myself standing in front of the mirror of my hotel suite. Nothing more than a single lamp at the far end of the room illuminated me with an orange glow. I was all shadows and blurred lines, the blood in my veins on fire as I swayed and tried to widen my eyes to get a clearer view. All I saw was that my blue-grey eyes were fucked. My brain was struggling, undecided as to whether it wanted to stay in a sharp, clear reality, or let me sink into the fuzzy cloud of intoxication.

  Intoxication was always easier. Nothing could hurt me there.

  “Is that nice, baby?” the girl sucking my dick asked, her voice making my eyes scrunch together before I opened them to look down on her.

  There wasn’t a more beautiful sight. Her head was an outline, the features hazy as I tried to focus… and failed miserably. She trailed her tongue up my hard shaft, and I pulsed against her lips, leaning into her mouth as my sleepy smirk rose.

  “Do you like that?” she whispered around me.

  “Shh,” was my only response as I closed my eyes.

  The blonde ran a sharp nail up my exposed thigh, sending a subtle shiver down my spine. My jeans were wrapped around my ankles, and when I looked back into the mirror, I saw myself a little clearer. My black, short-sleeve shirt was open, exposing my chest and stomach, and all the tattooed skin there was gleaming with sweat as the alcohol pushed its way out of my body.

  I saw the black ink I’d chosen to mark my success. The music notes. The lyrics. The guitar. The gothic castle on my forearm I once swore I’d own. I was lost in all my untold stories as the woman in front of me had her arse to the mirror, her thick, exposed cheeks pressing against the heels of her feet as her head bobbed back and forth.

  A pair of arms curled around my neck from behind, and while the girl on her knees blew me off, the woman pressing her naked tits to my back was trying to blow my mind as she whispered sweet little fantasies in my ear.

  “You’re incredible, Rhett,” she breathed against my skin. Her nails trailed down my biceps. “So strong. So perfect. So bad.”

  “Whatever, baby,” I whispered back, as the blonde’s wet tongue made the electricity pulse in my veins.

  Time went on, the pressure building until it grew like a ball of fire at the base of my dick, and I came. Hard.

  Wrapping my thumb and finger around the base of my shaft, I stroked it carefully, my lips parted as I emptied out into the beautiful stranger’s mouth and rode off the high of my orgasm.

  I let my eyes flutter open and I glanced down at the blonde who was licking her lips and staring up at me. Twisting my fingers in her hair, I tilted her head back and held her there as I let myself slowly float down from the high.

  “What do you want now?” I asked her quietly.

  “Anything.”

  “Wrong answer. Communicate. Give me your desires.”

  “I want… you,” she whispered. “Any way I can have you.”

  “Me, too,” the brunette behind me joined in as she ran her sharp nails over my scalp, making my eyes roll into the back of my head and a low groan rise in my throat.

  “Fuck, I love my life,” I sighed. “Get on the bed, both of—”

  The door to my suite opened, the loud bang of it against the wall making all three of us turn in the direction of the noise.

  Blondie was on her knees, licking the taste of me off her lips.

  Brunette was pressed against my back as I stood there with my trousers around my ankles.

  Julia, my fucking publicist, was staring at all three of us with a look of disgust on her face before she rolled her eyes, slowly turned her back on the scene, and held up her hand. Her fingers were splayed, and I saw her suck in a breath that made her shoulders rise and fall slowly.

  “Party’s over!” she cried. “Five,” she began counting, dropping her first finger. “Four…”

  I smirked at the blonde. “Oh dear. Time’s up.”

  “What?” Blondie asked, confused. “You want us to leave?”

  “No, babe.” I glanced up at Julia. “She does.”

  “Three!” Julia said a little louder.

  “Two,” I mouthed, the same time as Jules.

  “What is she? Your wife or something?” the brunette behind me asked.

  “Christ, no.” I winced; the thought ridiculous.

  “Then why the hell is she acting like it?”

  “Because she’s the only woman around here who can.”

  I shrugged that chick off, already going limp. Reaching down, I began to lift up my jeans, bouncing on my toes to let my sensitive dick fall into place before I zipped myself back up.

  “One!” Julia cried.

  With a downturned smirk, I held my hands in the air. “Sorry, ladies. She’s the boss.”

  The girls huffed and puffed as they huddled together, giving me a quick look of disgust before the two of them picked up their clothes and scurried past my publicist, offering her a parting glance of hate.

  When the door to my room slammed shut, Julia slowly spun around to face me.

  “Someone better be dying, Jules,” I said with an amused smile as I tugged on my belt.

  “I do sense a murder coming on.”

  “It was just a little fun. No harm done.”

  “Do you have any idea who those two women were?”

  “I didn’t need their names. Just their talents.”

  “So, this is it?” she asked, standing there in her slim-fitting blue jeans, her white T-shirt tucked in, ever the professional. At least she’d lost the cropped little blazer she loved to wear so much. Without that, she looked more human. Relatable. Like someone who wouldn’t chop my bellend off with a blunt knife.

  “What is?” I sighed, scrunching my eyes shut and pushing my hands into the pockets of my jeans. I looked back up at her, trying to focus, but I was fucked. I couldn’t even remember what I’d put into my body since the gig had finished.

  Julia took a controlled step closer on her black heel-type things.

  “Have you ever thought there’s such a thing as having too much fun? So much that it makes you reckless.”

  “Feeling like a Freak on a Leash,” I sang in the tune of Korn. “Party Police time.”

  “After three years, Rhett, I’m getting a little bored of playing mother. Your blow job tonight is my mess to clean up in the media tomorrow when those two women go and sell their stories for nothing more than afternoon tea at The Savoy.”

  I winced. “Is that all I’m worth?”

  “You screwing random women is hardly an exclusive anymore.”

  “What are you saying?” I clutched at my heart, feigning hurt.

  “Joke around all you want, but reality will catch up with you eventually, Rhett.”

  “This is my reality, sweetheart.”

  “This might seem like fun now, but one day, maybe when you’re old with kids running around and a wife you adore somewhere, looking out on a sandy beach with your whole life behind you, you’ll look back on nights like this and hate yourself.”

  “Kids?” I shuddered. “Good job you weren’t in here ten minutes ago. That kinda talk would have ruined a good orgasm.”

  She sighed and gave me a look I already hated. “You know what? Forget it. It doesn’t matter. That’s not why I’m here.”

  Was that… pity? She could take that out of the door with her obvious bad mood. “Then why are you here?”

  Reaching into the back pocket of her jeans, she walked towards me with her super-short cropped black hair dragging my attention up to her head. Not many women could pull that look off, but she did. I think it was her perfectly symmetrical face and sharp cheekbones that made it seem like that style was made for her and nobody else in the entire universe. Still, I had to wonder what men grabbed onto when they fucked her. I loved nothing more than to twist a woman’s long hair around my fist, drag it back, and hold on whil
e I rode her from behind.

  “Rhett,” she said, her voice a little louder than before, pulling my attention back down to her eyes. “What are you staring at?”

  I swayed a little. “Your hair.”

  Julia reached up to push delicate fingers through it. “What about it?”

  “Just wondering what a man uses to hold onto you while he fucks you from behind.”

  “I should have known.” Her sigh was close enough for me to feel the breath of it across my cheeks, and when I looked up again, she was standing close to me. Too close.

  Ooh. Wait.

  Maybe not close enough.

  Julia had delicate features. Her nose was slender, her skin the perfect, flawless colour of ivory, with only the tiniest hint of freckles across the bridge of that slender nose. The whites of her eyes were pure white, while mine were no doubt bloodshot to shit. I suddenly wanted her to stop talking and just let me drown in the sparkle of them for a moment.

  “You have the prettiest brown eyes. Has anyone ever told you that?” I said without thought.

  “Oh, yeah? Do my tits excite you, and does my arse make you want to sing?”

  “If I tell you, I’ll have to kiss you.”

  “Do those lines ever work?”

  “All the damn time.” I smirked, amused.

  Julia’s smile finally betrayed her. Only briefly at first, but the evidence of her finding humour in my comebacks was at least there. “You’re sick.”

  “Why are you here, Julia? I was about to have sex with two very forgettable women.”

  Her eyes searched mine, the smile fading slightly. “I know you’re better than pretending meaningless sex is what really gets you off. I’ll prove it to you one day, too.”

  “Sex is never meaningless.”

  “Really? Then why do you think you’re always looking for a high you can’t seem to find? It’s because you’re desperate for something that means something. But keep lying to yourself. Let’s see how far you get with that.”