Salted Caramel Dreams Read online

  “Great. Now spill. Joseph. He’s cute, right?”

  “Huh. No! I mean, I guess he’s all right . . .” I look away, embarrassed. Was I really staring? Are my feelings that obvious? And how can I talk about them with a girl I hardly know? I mean, if Kiara said stuff behind my back, how do I know Ava won’t too?

  But Ava just laughs. “All right? Come on, we both know he’s gorgeous. Now usually I wouldn’t bring it up, but it just turns out he’s single and without a crush. And when I saw you looking at him . . . well, I thought you’d want to know.”

  “Uh, thanks,” I say. “But how do you know?”

  “He’s my neighbor. We’re BFFBs.”

  “BFFBs?”

  “Best friends from birth.”

  “So he’s your Kiara,” I say under my breath.

  “What was that?”

  “Oh nothing,” I say. “I was just thinking. I used to have a friend like that too.”

  Ava nods, but doesn’t pry.

  “But anyway, what about Courtney?” I ask.

  “What about her?”

  “She and Joseph. They seem pretty close.”

  “Oh yeah, they’re good friends too. We all went to elementary school together. Ended up in the same class for like three years straight.”

  “But does she like him? Because if she does . . .”

  Ava laughs. “Oh, not at all. Courtney and I love Joseph, don’t get me wrong, but not in that way. I mean, there was this one month last year where Courtney thought for a minute that she might have a tiny crush on him, but that was when we were doing Beauty and the Beast and she and Joseph had this one scene where they had to hold hands. . . . Anyway, it was all short lived. Especially now that she’s so into Henry. Of course, Henry’s so into Henry that he hasn’t even seemed to notice, but that’s a different story. So yeah. No worrying about Courtney. Or me, if that’s what you’re gonna ask next. Right now I’m married to the theater,” she says, bringing her hands to her heart.

  I smile back, but part of me can’t relax. The only person I’ve ever talked guys with is Kiara. Confiding in Ava feels weird.

  “You won’t say anything, will you? I mean, even though he’s your BFFB and everything?”

  She shakes her head. “Of course not. Joseph’s great, but I wouldn’t want him getting a big head. Now, let’s go practice.”

  “Thanks,” I say, still feeling off balance. “Just, uh, maybe today I should pass on any practicing with Joseph.”

  “Oh, no way!” Ava says, laughing. “That’ll give you away. Now come on, let’s get back before Courtney starts whining for a critique.”

  Back downstairs, Courtney is ready for an audience. She runs through the scene twice before Ava tells her to work on her eye contact and calm down her arm movements. Then I practice a few times with Joseph—looking down at the ground almost the whole time—and once with Ava. During the times with Joseph, all I feel is sick as I struggle to read the lines, but on the last try with Ava, I actually get through the one-page scene without messing up a single word. Success! My head swells with pride as Ava raises her hand for a high five. I slap it back, letting out a whoop as I do.

  “See! I told you, you could do it!” she says.

  “Thanks,” I say, breaking into a grin. “Now let’s just hope I do it next week for the judges.”

  “You’ll be fine,” she says, and I can’t help but laugh. Fine, yes. But the odds of me getting any part with an actual line are slim.

  Not that this seems to matter to Courtney or Ava or even Joseph. When it’s time to go, the three act like I’m just like them. And as I plop down into the worn leather seat of Mom’s Honda, still humming the notes of the show tune they convinced me to sing for the audition—apparently it’s one of Miss Tabitha’s favorites—I realize that the lie I told about loving drama club is starting to come true. Because right now, the last thing I’m thinking about is quitting. I smile as I think of how good it feels to be tangled up in someone else’s inside jokes. To sink down into someone else’s old basement sofa. And to be staring straight ahead into those bright blue eyes. Now all I need is to figure out a way to actually talk to him, I think, turning up the radio. But first things first. I need to survive my audition. Which all of a sudden seems like the easier of the two hurdles standing before me.

  Chapter Nine

  CENTER STAGE

  “You sure you have everything you need?” Mom asks as I grab my backpack. “Your lunch? Your water bottle? Those forms I signed?”

  “Yeah, got it,” I say, heading for the door.

  “You sure you don’t want to take some tea? I can throw some in a thermos . . .”

  “No, Mom, I’m good.”

  “I read somewhere that tea is soothing for the voice . . .”

  “Yeah, well, maybe next time. Don’t want to be late!” I’m at the door now, one foot already outside.

  “Shoot. I should be giving you a ride! Why didn’t I think of it earlier? The cold could hurt your voice! You know, why don’t I do that? Lemme go run in and check with Abuela, see if she can watch the boys.” Mom’s brow tightens, and I can tell she’s playing over her morning in her head, moving around all the puzzle pieces she’d have to shuffle if she were to hit Pause to take me to school.

  “No, that’s all right. I want to walk,” I say, trying not to picture the warm car. “And besides, auditions aren’t ’til after school. I’ll be plenty warm by then.”

  Mom breathes in deep. I can tell she’s relieved. “All right then. Te quiero. And good luck. Call me as soon as it’s over!”

  I nod, then start running down the frozen flagstone steps, hopping over the remnants of last night’s dusting of snow. The January air feels sharp against my cheeks, and part of me wishes I’d taken Mom up on her offer. But then with my mind unable to focus on anything but auditions this afternoon, maybe the walking will do me good. Breathing in the cold, I stare at each house as I pass by, noting who still has Christmas lights up and who’s already decorated for spring. A couple of houses have hung wreaths with red hearts for Valentine’s Day. One still has a pumpkin displayed on its porch. From afar I can see it’s been painted red, and I wonder if it’s become a joke now, to see if this pumpkin can survive the seasons.

  When I reach the corner of my road and Ridgeway, I pause, same as I’ve been doing every day for the past month. It’s out of habit, really—it’s not like I’m still expecting to see Kiara waiting. But every time I see the corner empty, I still sigh.

  Since my first practice at Ava’s house, I’ve hung out with her and her friends twice. One of those times I got to see Joseph again, and a part of me is still dying to tell Kiara about it. But of course I don’t. Just like I don’t look her way anymore during lunch. Which is actually much easier now since this week Ava and Courtney asked Lori and Cameron and me to combine lunch tables with them and some other girls they have classes with. So far, everybody’s been getting along—Lori’s crush sheet has proved to be the perfect icebreaker—and with so many girls at our table, it seems there’s always something to laugh about. But that doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten about Kiara and what she did. Talking about my bag and our friendship was bad enough. But covering her crime with a story about me being jealous? That’s almost impossible to forgive.

  The school day drags on as the knot in my stomach grows with each passing hour. Yet somehow I survive not only a pop quiz in English but an entire class of Noah talking about his upcoming snowboarding trip. After suffering through talk of ollies and nollies and other snowboard terms I’ve never heard before, I’m actually relieved when it’s time to head up to the high school auditorium for auditions.

  I use the walk to text good luck to Ava and Courtney. We all have different audition times based on last names, so the odds of running into them are small. In some ways, this is a relief. As nice as it’d be to have someone to talk to beforehand, it’d be hard to face them if I messed up, which, despite all my practicing, is still a very real possibility.
I sigh, wishing I had just a few more days to go over my scene. The singing part is scary, but having done choir as a kid, learning the song has come more easily. But saying all those lines while gesturing and walking on stage? That part is trickier. And I’m still not as ready as I could be.

  My heart pounds as the high school comes into view, and my phone buzzes with good luck messages back from Ava and Courtney. But their cheery words do little to calm my nerves. Hands shaking, I stuff my phone into my bag just as I reach the entrance. There’s no more time to practice and no more time to worry. It’s show time, I think, as I push open the heavy glass door.

  Inside, I’m greeted with a parade of signs guiding me to a nearby classroom filled with a small group of kids pretending to focus on homework as they wait for their audition times. I sign in with the supervising teacher, then pull out my English book, but before I can even find my page, Miss Tabitha is there in the doorway, calling for me.

  “Jasmine Wilson? You’re up!” she says.

  My nerves sizzle as I stand and try to breathe deeply. Miss Tabitha leads me onto the stage and motions for me to stand next to a piece of tape right under a spotlight. Then she walks over and sits down by the two other judges, both of whom are staring at me. Yeah, I am so not ready for this, I think, as my stomach flips. I fight the urge to bolt as Miss Tabitha flashes me a smile.

  “Welcome, Jasmine,” she says, leaning back in her chair. “We’re so happy to have you here. Whenever you’re ready, feel free to start singing. After your song, we’ll run through our sample scene, and then you’ll be done!”

  “Okay, yeah. Sounds great,” I say, still shaking. “I’m going to be singing ‘My Favorite Things’ from The Sound of Music.”

  Miss Tabitha smiles. Silently, I thank Ava for helping me choose the song.

  And then I begin.

  “Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens. Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens . . .”

  I find the words flow out of me, the melody sounding as sweet and rosy as the lyrics. By the time I reach the second verse, I’m swaying as I sing, my arms moving from side to side as if I were a dancer. I try to look straight ahead and not at the judges, just as Ava told me, but a few times I peek back at Miss Tabitha. Each time I look, she’s still leaning back, smiling. And even though I’m pretty sure she probably smiles for everyone, her enthusiasm fuels mine as I belt out the last verse. As I end the final note, I find that I’m smiling too. Ava was right. Being on stage is scary and exciting and exhilarating all wrapped up together. But most of all, being up there singing was fun.

  “Thank you, Jasmine, that was great,” says Miss Tabitha. “I always love that song. Or anything from The Sound of Music.”

  I smile, wondering if she suspects I had help with the song selection.

  “You ready for the scene?”

  I nod. “Yeah, I’m ready.”

  “Okay, great. I’ll be reading the part of Prince Charming. Feel free to start when you’re ready.”

  So then I take a breath, cross my fingers, and start. And find halfway through that I haven’t made a single mistake. I’m getting all the lines right! I relax as I let myself slip into the part.

  “Wait, what time is it?” I say, as Cinderella. The scene is almost over.

  “It’s almost midnight,” says Miss Tabitha.

  “Oh, I really have to go.” I start walking toward the side of the stage, wringing my hands and pacing, and in that moment I’m not Jasmine Wilson auditioning for the school play, but a girl upset to be leaving her crush. Who, in my head, looks a lot like Joseph.

  “Already?” says Miss Tabitha.

  “Yes, I’m, I’m sorry, goodbye,” I say.

  “Wait, but I don’t even know your name.”

  “Yes, I’m sorry, I really have to go—but thank you. Tonight, it was . . . it was . . . magical and lovely, and—” I pause and look up as Miss Tabitha acts out the ringing of a clock. “Oh I’m so sorry, I must go . . .”

  I run off stage like Cinderella fleeing from the ball, the final lines flowing out on autopilot. And before I can even think about what I’m saying or doing, I’m backstage. It’s over. I did it! Without a single flub! Sure, I might not have been as emotional as Ava, and I didn’t add in any fancy hand gestures like Courtney would, but in this moment, none of that matters. I remembered the lines and said them clearly. All without falling down.

  “Thank you, Jasmine,” Miss Tabitha says as I walk back on stage to bow. “Great job today. Remember, Friday afternoon after the last bell we’ll be posting roles outside the middle school cafeteria. I will be there too in case you have any questions.”

  “Thank you, Miss Tabitha,” I say. Then I skip off the stage and into the street toward home, my phone already out to text Mom and my new friends the good news.

  Thursday is less of a blur than Wednesday, but with Ava and Courtney rehashing their auditions every time I see them, it goes by faster than expected. Before I know it, I’m walking into the cafeteria on Friday, less than two hours away from the list posting. Ava catches up with me before I reach our table.

  “What’s up?” I ask, as she comes up to my side.

  “Nothing,” she says. “Just nervous. About the list.”

  I smile. “Oh, you don’t need to be nervous! I’m sure you did much better than you think.”

  “Thanks,” she says, wringing her hands. “But like I said before, I don’t think it was my best performance. I still wish I didn’t change my song last minute. It was definitely a little too high for me to sing well. Overall I think I did okay, though . . .”

  “Though what? Even if it wasn’t your best, the teachers know you. And they know you’re awesome!”

  “But what if they don’t care? What if all they can remember is that I missed a couple high notes on that song? What if my audition just wasn’t good enough for the lead?”

  Ava’s nerves are flying like sparks as I move my hand to her back in the hopes of putting some of them out. “Well, then you’ll do great with whatever part you get. And right now I’m still thinking you’re gonna be our Cinderella.”

  “Really?”

  “Of course! When I saw you do that practice scene during that first meeting, I was blown away. You’re incredible!”

  “Thanks,” she says. “I dunno why I’m so worried about this. I know it doesn’t matter either way. I guess after last summer and having that part in Annie, everyone just expects me to get the lead. Usually I don’t think about it too much, but today every time I run into someone they ask me if I think I’ll get Cinderella. And the truth is, I don’t know.” She frowns. “Sometimes it’s just easier to be the underdog than the favorite.”

  “Yeah, I know what you mean. No one expects anything from me!”

  “Oh no, I didn’t mean it like that.”

  I laugh. “Don’t worry, I’m not offended. I’m still just proud of myself for auditioning. It doesn’t matter what part I get.”

  “That’s how I felt about the Acting Academy. And then I got this big part.”

  “Because you’re awesome.”

  “Or got lucky.”

  “It’s not because of luck,” I say. “It’s practice. Remember?”

  “Hah. Yes. You’re right. Okay. Now let’s go have lunch. No more talk about auditions. Promise.”

  Though as soon as we reach our table, Courtney starts talking all about her audition. Which gets Ava going all over again about hers. And on and on they go until Lori pulls out her crush sheet.

  “Guys! Big news! It turns out Tommy Raine doesn’t like Beatrice or Mary Beth. He actually has a crush on Harper Walker!” she says, eyes sparkling.

  And hearing her enthusiasm, we all laugh. Talk of auditions ceases as Lori fills us in on the latest gossip she heard during homeroom.

  Before I know it, the bell’s ringing and it’s time for English.

  “Meet at my locker after school?” Courtney says to Ava and me. “So we can all find out together?”

&nb
sp; “Sure,” I say.

  “Yeah, I’ll tell the boys to come too,” says Ava.

  My stomach flips at the thought of seeing Joseph.

  “Oh, and Jas, one more thing,” says Ava, as the rest of the girls disappear into the hall.

  “Yeah?”

  “I was talking to Joseph yesterday . . . and he was asking about you.”

  I stop moving.

  “What? About me? What did he say? How did you not tell me this earlier!” I ball my hands into fists as my muscles start twitching.

  Ava laughs. “Well, it wasn’t a huge thing and I didn’t want to risk having you end up on the crush sheet. But anyway, he wanted to know if we were friends before drama. You know, how we met and everything.”

  “And what did you tell him?”

  She shrugs. “That we met at the kickoff meeting and hit it off.”

  I smile, still so grateful she felt that way when I couldn’t see past my nerves.

  “So what do you think it means?” I ask.

  She shrugs again. “Not sure. Though if nothing else, we know he was thinking about you!”

  “Yeah, guess so,” I say. “I never know what to say to him, though.”

  “Yeah, I’m no good at the guy thing either,” Ava says. “But Joseph’s easy. Just be yourself.”

  I nod. That’s probably good advice. But, I wonder, exactly which self do I want to be?

  Chapter Ten

  SWEET SUCCESS

  For the rest of the day, I find myself obsessing over Joseph. Maybe he likes me. Maybe he doesn’t know how to talk to me either. If only I knew what to ask him about. But what do girls talk about with guys? Their families? School? Sports? Before I can decide on a topic, I’m standing in front of Courtney, who’s leaning against her locker, her hands balled together. Seeing her nervous smile snaps me back to reality.

  “The list!” I say.

  “I know!” says Courtney.

  “I’m almost too scared to look,” says Joseph from behind. From his tone I know he’s trying to be funny, but his eyes look nervous.

  Ava joins us a minute later with Henry.