Becoming Beyoncé Read online

  For my niece Jessica . . .

  and dreamers everywhere

  CONTENTS

  AUTHOR’S NOTE

  Prologue: A New Dawning

  PART ONE: Tina & Mathew

  Tina

  Mathew

  Engaged

  Trapped

  Headliners

  Childhood Days

  “People Don’t Need to Know”

  A Real Find

  Family First

  Andretta

  Ninth Birthday

  Crossroads

  Fine-Tuning

  “A Family We Get to Choose”

  Buckin’ and Poppin’

  First Recording Session

  California Bound

  A Star Is Born

  Parents’ Reaction

  Mathew Makes His Move

  A Fateful Meeting

  Beyoncé’s Hurt Feelings

  Mathew Taking Over?

  What to Do About Kelly?

  Star Search

  The Blame Game

  Life-Changing Decision

  Tina Smooths Things with Andretta

  PART TWO: One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

  Ashley Leaves Girls Tyme

  An Important Lesson

  Desperate Times

  Dissension in the Ranks

  Lyndall

  In Atlanta: The Dolls

  Rejections—and Then a Deal!

  “Show Business Is a Lot of Things . . .”

  First Date

  Disappointment

  Financial and Marital Woes

  Big Changes

  Destiny

  Columbia/Sony

  PART THREE: Destiny’s Child

  Signing with Columbia/Sony

  Ice Cream Summit

  Tina’s Request

  Recording the First Hit

  Recording the First Album

  “No Woman Deserves This”

  5-16-97

  Vigil

  Their Time Has Come

  Success

  Lyndall—No Direction?

  First Impressions

  Tina, Stylist

  Prepping for the Second Album

  The Writing’s on the Wall

  Lyndall’s Nineteenth

  Living the Dream

  Vocal Lessons

  Group Turmoil

  Sour Energy

  Disaffirmation

  Depression

  Beyoncé’s Missive

  Quitting Destiny’s Child?

  “Tomorrow, We Fight Back”

  Moving Forward with New Girls

  Lyndall Lacks Purpose

  Beyoncé Makes a Decision about Farrah

  PART FOUR: Independent Women

  Destiny’s Three

  Why Ruin the Moment?

  A Man in Her Life. Not a Boy.

  She of Little Experience

  First Screen Kiss

  Carmen: A Hip Hopera

  Enter Jay Z

  “Bootylicious”

  Survivor

  Lyndall Worries About Jay Z

  Andretta’s Estate Sues

  Beyoncé’s Deposition

  Mathew’s Deposition

  Tina’s Deposition

  Austin Powers in Goldmember

  Panic

  Solo Careers

  Beyoncé Doesn’t Forget

  World Tour 2002

  Settlements

  PART FIVE: Jay Z

  Jay

  “’03 Bonnie & Clyde”

  Dangerously in Love

  “Crazy in Love”

  The Birth of Sasha Fierce

  Father Issues

  Brand Beyoncé

  Destiny Fulfilled

  Schooling Each Other

  Choosing: Lyndall or Jay?

  PART SIX: Dreamgirl

  The Problem with Dreamgirls

  Beauty Is Pain

  Jay Z’s “Affair” with Rihanna

  B’Day

  Alex

  About to Blow?

  The Beyoncé Experience

  I Am . . . Sasha Fierce

  Cadillac Records and Obsessed

  Beyoncé Marries Jay

  Obama

  Trouble Brewing

  Alex and Mathew Expecting

  Beyoncé’s Audit of Mathew

  Powder Keg

  Fractured Souls

  Tina Files for Divorce

  Nixon

  The Death of Sasha Fierce

  Mystery at Parkwood

  The Hard Choice

  Mathew Fights Back

  4

  Full Circle

  Life Is But a Dream

  PART SEVEN: Run The World

  Blue Ivy

  Going Forward

  Mathew Today

  A New Life for Tina

  Beyoncé: The Secret Album

  Prologue to a Scandal

  The Elevator

  Matriarch in Charge

  “Alone Together in a Crowd”

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  SOURCE NOTES

  PERSONAL ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  INDEX

  LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS

  When you’re famous, no one looks at you as human anymore. You become property of the public. There’s nothing real about it. You can’t put your finger on who I am. I can’t put my finger on who I am. I am complicated. I grew up with a lot of conflict and dramas. I’ve been through a lot.

  —Beyoncé Giselle Knowles-Carter, December 2014

  Author’s Note

  “Beyoncé.”

  The name, once thought of as unusual, is now a universally recognized signifier for talent, beauty, and determination. It also calls to mind the very definition of celebrity in our culture today. In fact, there are but a handful of famous people known by a one-word appellation, and many are pop music icons whose imprint on our society is as indelible as it is undeniable. Think Cher. Madonna. Bono. Prince. And, of course, Jay Z. Once upon a time, though, the iconic personality known simply as “Beyoncé” was just a wide-eyed little girl with big dreams and an abundance of ambition and talent. This is the story of how that girl—Beyoncé Giselle Knowles—became one of the wealthiest, most significant power players in show business, a recording artist who has to date won twenty Grammy Awards and sold 60 million records as the lead singer of Destiny’s Child and more than 100 million more as a solo artist.

  She once described herself as “just a country girl from Houston.” What does it take, then, for someone from humble beginnings to become one of the most powerful artists in the world? After all, not just anyone can step into the spotlight and become . . . Beyoncé. It takes more than just talent.

  Through the years she’s been carefully packaged, marketed, groomed, and promoted, spending most of her life, from childhood through her teenage years and into womanhood, nurturing and projecting a very precise image of herself to the public. Her fascination with image is nothing new. It’s as old as show business itself. Her critics have charged her with being a manufactured product, as if anything less could ever be successful in a competitive entertainment industry—as if she doesn’t have the talent necessary to back up her marketing campaign. In truth, she manages her career on the one hand, and her personal life on the other, with a calculating, decisive will. What the public will know and what will be off-limits is really just classic public relations strategy and, to a certain extent, marketing. They call it “branding” these days. Some are good at it and some are great. Certainly Beyoncé falls into the latter category.

  While Beyoncé is engaging in interviews, she is not known for her candor. Many a reporter has been frustrated trying to extract just a hint of something personal from her. That wasn’t always the case. When I interviewed Desti
ny’s Child back in 1999, all four girls—at that time, Beyoncé, Kelly Rowland, LaTavia Roberson, and LeToya Luckett—were forthcoming. Back then, they had more limited lives; there wasn’t much for them to conceal. Since that time, Beyoncé the woman and “Beyoncé” the brand have become more calibrated to suit an ongoing marketing plan: Since 2002, she has rarely, if ever, discussed her personal life in much detail. It was actually a good decision. By doing so, she forced the public to evaluate her not by her private life but by her work: her art.

  This mandate would make writing the first ever in-depth biography about her difficult. There was no road map to follow, no other valid research to help construct a reliable narrative about her life. However, as happens with books of this nature, one interview with a very good source generated another with someone else well placed . . . and another and another . . . until, finally, not only did the timeline begin to emerge, but so did the story you’ll read in the following pages.

  I found that there’s much more to the story of Beyoncé than talent and branding, and a lot of it has to do with the influence of outspoken, independent females who surrounded her in her formative years, assertive women with names like Deborah Laday, Denise Seals, and Andretta Tillman—powerful, matriarchal figureheads who inspired Beyoncé to greatness. You will meet these formidable women in these pages for the first time. Along with Beyoncé’s mother, Tina Knowles, they helped motivate Beyoncé to become the dominant force of nature she is today.

  You will be surprised by many elements of this book, not the least of which is the extreme sacrifice Beyoncé’s parents, Mathew and Tina, made to help their daughter’s dreams come true. At one point they couldn’t even pay their tab at Blockbuster video rental. Yet they continued pouring money into their daughter’s career.

  In the end, though, this is the story of the long road traveled by a talent show contestant, pageant winner, and girl group singer as she evolved into the vocalist, actress, pop star, businesswoman, wife and mother she is today. More than that, it is also the story of a darker side that is unfortunately often the price of great success. The path to converting Beyoncé the woman into “Beyoncé” the brand was, for many people in her life—her father, her mother, her sister, her managers, and her singing partners—as treacherous as it was profitable. She too would experience as much pain and heartache as she did glory on the long, twisting road to becoming . . . Beyoncé.

  J. Randy Taraborrelli

  Summer 2015

  Prologue: A New Dawning

  October 2, 2009—New York City

  It was to be just another monumental day in an already much-rewarded, greatly privileged life. At least that was what Beyoncé Knowles probably figured as she prepared to accept Billboard’s 2009 prestigious Woman of the Year award. Professionally, she’d already had a most incredible year with the success of her album, I Am . . . Sasha Fierce. It had debuted at number one on the Billboard charts, selling almost a million and a half units in just the first six weeks. It would go on to win a record-setting six Grammy Awards and sell more than three million copies. One standout song from the album, the danceable “Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It),” would become not only one of Beyoncé’s most identifiable hits, but a feminist anthem as well. It too had peaked at number one on Billboard’s chart, becoming one of the bestselling singles of all time, with more than six million copies sold.

  Such unprecedented success was nothing new to Beyoncé. At just twenty-eight, she’d been at the top of her game for the last twelve years, ever since the release of Destiny Child’s first hit, “No, No, No,” in 1997. That was followed by a string of hits, such as “Say My Name,” “Independent Women,” and “Bootylicious,” which led to solo success for her with the albums Dangerously in Love and B’Day in 2003 and 2006, respectively. Award-winning songs from those albums, such as “Crazy in Love,” “Déjà Vu,” and “Irreplaceable,” remain to this day memorable touchstones of her career.

  At the Pierre Hotel, Beyoncé would find herself posing on a red carpet in front of a backdrop emblazoned with the distinctive Billboard logo as flashbulbs popped all around her. Wearing a simple but elegant knee-length sea-foam-green skirt with a ruffled, scooped top, she looked every bit the fashion icon. Large diamond hoop earrings framed her lovely face, her straight light brown hair cascading to her shoulders, parted to the left. She smoothed her skirt, patted her hair, and then walked the red carpet with total assurance and regal bearing, just as she always did when in the public eye. As she posed for the cameras, her dazzling smile lit up her face with a rare beauty all her own.

  Later, Beyoncé would stand onstage at a podium in the Pierre ballroom before two microphones while gripping her prized award. After graciously acknowledging the standing ovation from a formally dressed audience of industry heavyweights, she began her prepared talk. Though she’d given dozens of these sorts of speeches over the years, they were still not something that she, a naturally bashful person, enjoyed. Standing in front of an audience as herself, not her “Sasha Fierce” stage persona, remained difficult. Doing so felt too revealing, too invasive—and never more so than on this afternoon. In fact, she could barely get through it.

  “I can’t believe all of the things I’ve been blessed to do this year, and I know it would not be possible without my family,” she said. She appeared to be visibly choked up, as if overcome by a wave of bittersweet nostalgia. Shifting her gaze to her mother and father, Mathew and Tina Knowles, who were sitting at a nearby table, she continued, “My parents are here. I’ve worked with my family since the beginning of Destiny’s Child. Actually, I was nine years old,” she said. Then, with her glance settling on her mother, she continued, “I am the luckiest young woman in the world to have my parents. And to have that connection and that genuine love, and people to tell me when I’m wrong and people that always support me and love me unconditionally. I am so, so lucky,” she concluded, now looking at both parents, “to have you guys in my life.”

  In the days that followed, Beyoncé’s heartfelt words would be broadcast around the world. But as is often the case in show business, private events unfolding behind the scenes would paint a very different picture than the public image of family solidarity Beyoncé attempted to convey with her speech. The truth is that the family to which she so graciously gestured that day was fissured by suspicion: By then, Beyoncé was in the midst of having her father, Mathew, audited, with subsequent press reports referencing unconfirmed allegations he had stolen a great deal of money from her. This was a stunning turn of events. Her longtime manager, Mathew was in many ways responsible for her success. They had been an incomparable team. He loved her deeply, and she felt the same about him. At the same time, Beyoncé was her father’s daughter in many ways, not the least in her uncompromising determination not to let anyone, regardless of who they might be, take advantage of her.

  The bad situation was to get much worse. On the same day as the Billboard Women in Music function, Mathew was served with a paternity lawsuit by a woman in Los Angeles named AlexSandra “Alex” Wright.

  The only people who really understand what goes on in a marriage are those in the marriage themselves. Everything else is just conjecture and interpretation. The parameters to which Mathew and Tina had agreed to stay married aren’t clear, nor what led him to fall for another woman, but fall for Alex he did. It would be untrue to say that Mathew had been living a double life. After all, if it’s not a secret, is it truly a double life? A private life, yes, but not a double life. Apparently Tina and everyone else in the immediate family knew all about Alex. Her pregnancy, though, was a complete surprise, at first revealed to no one but Alex’s immediate family. But on the day of Beyoncé’s Billboard honor it would become known to the entire world. This stunning revelation would prove a game-changer for the Knowleses, one that would force a crucible upon them the likes of which they’d never before experienced.

  The truth is that change had been a long time coming. Over the years, the Knowleses had seen each
other through many challenges, fortifying themselves against internal divisions for the sake of the image and the success they were all protecting. The challenge for them had always been to perform “the Knowles family” as a united, dynamic success story for the public in order to nourish the “Beyoncé” myth, while at the same time navigating the rocky terrain of their private world. Everyone knew that Beyoncé’s talent had always been the family’s founding principle, its hope and grace, the fulcrum around which they all came together. Father Mathew famously managed Beyoncé; mother Tina designed her wardrobe; sister Solange was inspired by her success. But there was so much more going on behind the scenes, the constant unfolding of family drama, not unlike that of many families in the public eye, but private just the same.

  Now, in 2009, it was time to let the truth stand and take a leap of faith. Without ever planning to do so, each Knowles family member would bear witness to the transformation of his or her life, the sun already beginning to shine on a new dawn. In so many ways, it had been not only their successes but their secrets that had imprisoned them. Now they would each finally be set free . . . with Beyoncé leading the way.

  PART ONE

  Tina & Mathew

  Tina

  Pretty is as pretty does,” Agnez DeRouen Beyincé used to tell her daughter, Tina. “You are a very pretty girl. But that’s not enough. You have to be pretty inside.”

  “Yes, Momma,” the teenage Tina would say, rolling her eyes. That quaint adage had been pounded into her head for so many years, she was a little tired of hearing it. But somehow Tina Beyincé knew she’d end up telling her own daughter the exact same thing one day . . . and that her daughter would then repeat it to a child of hers. “Beauty on the outside fades,” Tina would later observe. “That was my mother’s message, but just one of many.”

  In Tina’s mind, family has always been about the small traditions. It’s often the seemingly most trivial of moments that matter most—those intimate conversations parents have with their children that form not only who they are as role models but who they all are as a family. Tina says that her mother was such a special person, she always wanted to emulate her and do whatever she advised. “I’ve always hoped my daughters would feel the same way about me,” she said.