Her First, His Last Read online

  I brought my fingers up to trace the contour of his shoulder. "I guess it's been so long, I've entered the virgin status again."

  "Me too," he said and almost doubled over in laughter.

  I smacked his stomach muscles. "With your track record, I doubt that is even possible."

  His hand ran up my arm until it cradled my neck, and his thumb traced over my jaw before he forcefully pulled me to him. I took a shaky breath, my eyes fluttering closed, and said, "Don't hurt me."

  "I can't." His gruff whisper cracked, and it tore at my heart. "You deserve so much more than me. I don't deserve tonight, nor do I deserve you."

  "Nobody would believe that it has almost been three years, and tonight is the first night." Myles stopped me from talking with a fast and simple peck on the lip.

  “Our relationship is no one's business. It's ours."

  "I agree, and you do deserve me; that is why I am here," I said as I kicked the door closed with the heel of my shoes. Then I flicked my tongue over his lip ring. He whimpered. My muscles tensed at every raucous noise. "Tonight, I want all of you."

  I was wearing an old band t-shirt that Myles’s mother had given me, but I had only recently started wearing it. Myles seemed oblivious to the fact I even had clothes on.

  My mouth went dry, and I felt sick with nerves, but I wanted it. I was ready for it and shook my head, taking a bite of my lower lip.

  Myles took a step back and waved for me to enter. My muscles froze and refused to move. Myles had arranged for me to stay at some spectacular places. However, the room proved he had put thought into the night. Two walls entirely made up of windows showcased the lights of downtown Nashville.

  “I love you, Emma Danielle Murphy. I love you and have dreamed about this day.” Myles whispered behind me and wrapped his arms around my midsection, stroking a thumb under my left breast.

  I nodded. Adrenaline pumped through my veins, my heart, and my body.

  I took his hand and led him to the bed before pushing him onto the mattress. He swallowed hard, causing the muscles in his throat to tighten.

  “No small talk?” he asked. I shook my head. We have had years of small talk.

  Myles pulled the ponytail holder I was wearing down the entire length of my hair, letting each strand fall down my back, then pressed his warm, soft mouth onto my neck. A moan escaped my lips, and I noticed his pupils were wildly dilated.

  “Damn, I think I’ve loved you since the first time I saw your nipple peek out from that pink and yellow bathing suit you were wearing.” He then flicked his tongue over my collarbone. Myles remembered a detail from the day that we first met. I had even forgotten what color I was wearing, but he hadn’t.

  My heart smiled in my chest, and I took a deep breath, filling my oxygen-deprived body with the air it so desperately needed. I glanced at Myles, and the look in his eyes was begging me to touch him.

  I slipped my arms around his neck. He twisted his head and lightly kissed the crook of my arm. “I’ve been scared of today because if I lose you after this, I’ll kill myself,” he breathed against my skin and blinked back tears.

  A world without Myles would be a never-ending thunderstorm. He freely gave himself to hundreds of fans because it meant nothing to him. But being with me terrified him because he had me once then lost me. He was as scared as me about living that fate again. He owned me, and I couldn’t survive losing him forever.

  “Baby, my beautiful Blue Eyes, I never want to see you hurt, especially by me. I can’t go back and change history. However, I can fight to be a better man for you every day.” He kissed my forehead. “Everything I own or have is yours. You are all I need in this world.”

  Myles pulled me up against him with his big, oversized, manly hand. I savored, soaking him in. He cupped my face, pressed his lips together, and then hooked his thumb beneath my chin, tilting my face down to his. “Now, lady. It’s time ”

  As soon as he started to kiss me, I grabbed his shirt. “Shut up.”

  “Yes, ma’am.” We kiss for the longest with our clothes on, which was sweet, but I wanted more than sweet.

  When the barbell in his tongue moved along my lips, I lost any sense I had and yanked his hair on the back of his head and let out a moan. He melted around me. I had never felt more alive. I wanted him more than I wanted my next breath—more than my fears.

  Myles twisted me onto my back and settled between my legs. He ground his midsection into my hips without breaking the sweetest damn kiss I’d ever had. He grabbed my shirt and started working it up my body, then pulled away. I instantly missed him. “I have the world at my fingertips, but I’m alone, like a soul that is searching for a place to rest. There have only been two things ever to quiet the demons. You and drugs.”

  “Drugs?”

  He nodded his head and stared out the window. “It is a way I have coped, but it’s not the same. Nothing compares to my feelings for you. Are you sure you want this? Not only me but my demons too.”

  I nodded, then he jerked my shirt over my head and chucked it behind him before retaking my mouth. He flicked his tongue, letting his piercing snap against the roof of my mouth. It sent a wave of wickedness through me. I could kiss him for hours, but I was here to give him the only gift I could offer the man who had everything.

  He tore his mouth away from mine, jerked my bra down then licked over my exposed nipples as I whimpered his name. He lowered his head, sucking it into his mouth with one hard tug.

  “It’s better than I dreamed,” he moaned. “Baby, this is my heaven. You are everything I want in this life.” He flicked a finger over my taut nipple, only making them painfully hard.

  He traced his tongue along my stomach toward my bellybutton—a jolt of happiness bubbled up inside me. I tangled my fingers into his long, wavy hair, then moaned in the back of my throat. I lingered my pointer finger over the skin on his chest and sensed a small shiver work itself up and down his spine. My body bunked against him when he grounded his hardness against the seam of my pants.

  I pushed his shirt off his shoulders and slipped my hands down his broad and muscular back. I loved how his muscles tightened under my touch, and the intricate ink of his multiple tattoos decorated his amazing body. When I got to his jeans, I immediately started unbuttoning them. Myles stiffened. I rolled him onto his back and sat up, straddling him.

  His eyes widened as he looked at me, sitting on top of him. I had seen him naked numerous times, but this was different. He rolled me onto my back. “Are you sure this is what you want?”

  My mouth popped open in shock. “Do you?”

  Frustration knotted in my stomach, the hair on my neck stood on end as my breathing got heavier. Of course, I wanted it. I wanted him.

  “Babe, what do you think?” Myles asked, panting as his hand cupped my breast. I moaned, and my hips rose off the bed, trapping his hand between our bodies.

  The desire was overwhelming—almost too much for me to bear.

  “Stand up,” he demanded, and I obeyed. His fingers tremored as he unsnapped my jeans and dragged them down my legs, never taking his eyes off me. I settled back down beside him as he traced circles over my bare skin. I felt it everywhere, not just on my skin. It shot a current straight through my heart. His thumbs caught my pantie’s waistband as he pulled them down, teasing me with his touch. I smoothed my hand over his hair, and away from his forehead as our tangled bodies became entwined. I didn’t know where my body ended, and his started.

  He caressed a hand down my waistline. I was happier than I had ever been in my life.

  “You’re perfect. I’m physically not able to live without you again.”

  I snuggled close to his torso, interlacing our fingers together. “I love you too,” I whispered, kissing his chest lightly.

  Myles showed me pain and heaven that day. Heaven, however, was the profound emotion, and I just blacked out.

  Chapter 22

  H e lay there as I traced my fingers along a tattoo on his upper
arm and licked over his lip ring. I had learned not only the true meaning of pleasure but had given my whole self to the man I had loved since I was a child. "You didn't put on a condom."

  He laughed a gentle laugh that crushed my chest. "I'm clean. Jay has the entire band checked monthly. And well, you know I haven't had sex in a while." Myles twisted onto his side and had a ridiculous smile plastered onto his face.

  "Again, don't remind..."

  Before I had a chance to finish, Myles had said the words, "Marry me?"

  "Do you ask all the girls that?" I shoved him onto his back and straddled him. If he wanted to play this game, I was happy to play along.

  "Not all, just the ones I love." He stroked a hand over my bare breast, then smirked and bit down on his lip, causing his lip ring to stand at attention.

  "I don't have anything to do for the rest of the day. Do you?" I asked and winked.

  He flipped me onto my back and mounted himself on top of me. My eyes betrayed me as I ogled his naked frame.

  "Like what you see? Because you are going to be looking at it for years. I'm calling your bluff," he said and reached for his cellphone.

  "I need two tickets to Las Vegas," he said to whoever was on the other side of the line and eyed my reaction, then rolled off me to lay back on the headboard. "None of your business." He paused and flashed an over-exaggerated eye roll. "If you want me to show up at the recording studio next week, you will."

  I rested my chin on his chest with a big grin.

  "A week should be enough time. Make reservations at Caesars. Okay, three days then," he said before tossing the phone onto the mattress. "Get ready. We have a wedding to attend."

  "Are you serious?" I narrowed my eyes.

  "Very serious, you're going to be Mrs. O’Conner sometime tonight." He grabbed each side of my face, slamming his lips against mine. "Isn't it what you have been dreaming about since you were little?"

  "Being Emma O’Conner," I said, faking a frown.

  He reached for his jacket, thrown over a nearby chair, and dug around in the pocket.

  "We are already too late to worry about condoms now."

  "Not condoms," he replied as he pulled out a small velvet box. "Hold your hand out."

  He placed it on my open hand, then leaned back to rest his head on his arm with a broad smile stretched across his face.

  I caressed the box with one finger.

  "I wanted to be with you last night. We both know that. But even more, I wanted to give you this. I wanted you to know this was more than a hookup, but it's part of our forever."

  "So, what if I had made you wait last night?"

  "I would have waited too. I had to test drive the merchandise before I bought it," Myles said, opening the small box.

  I plucked the ring from the slit that held it in place. "Myles, it's perfect."

  He took my left hand in his then slid the platinum band down my ring finger. We both looked down at the glistening yellow stone parked on my hand. "Emma… Emma Murphy, will you do me the greatest honor of my life and change that silly name to just Emma O’Conner?"

  "When did you decide you wanted to marry me?" I twisted the ring around my finger and marveled at the way the center stone caught the light.

  "The summer of nineteen eighty."

  "Seriously, when did you buy the ring?" I asked and internally laugh to myself about getting engaged while we were both naked as a jaybird.

  He leaned up and whispered in my ear, letting his breath tickle down my neck, "Five years ago, I went with Wade to buy some chick he was moaning after a necklace or something another, and I saw this. It's a two-carat canary diamond set in platinum. Sorry, the baguettes are just normal diamonds. It was the most beautiful ring I had ever seen."

  "We weren't even together five years ago."

  "I bought it and prayed to the heavens; I would be able to give it to you one day because only your finger is worthy of that ring. So, are you going to say yes? I'm starting to get nervous."

  "Yes, yes," I answered, then kissed him with an urgency I didn't realize existed.

  ***

  I gripped both my hands around Myles’s left hand as we descended off the private jet Jay had arranged for us to use. Jimmy greeted us on the tarmac.

  "Good evening, sir," he said to Myles, then tipped his hat in my direction. "Miss Murphy."

  "It's Mrs. O’Conner, Jimmy. This one got stupid and agreed to marry me."

  "Emma, darling, here I thought you were holding out for me," Jimmy replied and tossed the bags in the truck of Myles’s BMW M5.

  "I decided you were never going to ask," I said, sliding into the backseat.

  "Maybe, I should leave you two alone?" Myles giggled, and he wasn't a giggler.

  I wanted to check to see if Myles had a fever. He was acting delirious between tolerating the harmless flirting and his downright giddiness.

  "I'm married to the love of my life, Jimmy." Myles shifted into the seat beside me and kissed the side of my head.

  "And here, I thought the love of your life was yourself." Jimmy started the car and moved swiftly around the airport.

  "No, brother, that's you. I've loved this hottie since she flashed me a boob when she was only twelve. She has always been trying to get me to loosen my morals."

  "You have morals?" I asked and was rewarded with a kiss.

  The tension in my body from the last few days had relaxed a bit until Jimmy said, "Jay wants to meet with you about how you are going to handle keeping this news out of the papers."

  "I'm not," Myles seethed and couldn't contain the wrinkles forming on his forehead. "It'll be hard to deny with that big-ass rock on Emma's finger anyway."

  I frowned. "It's okay. I understand if we have to keep it a secret. You are about to release the new album."

  "You're Mrs. Myles O’Conner, screw 'em," he said without hesitation. "I'm tired of pretending. The album can flop. I don't care."

  I smiled at Myles and then looked down at my ring. "Let's just take a few days off and enjoy being newlyweds, and then we will decide the best way to tell your fans." I smiled and stroked my finger over the Emma Myles had tattooed on his left ring finger. That was what he had chosen over a wedding ring, stating a ring was temporary, but a tat was forever.

  "Fuck that. Are you ashamed of being my wife?"

  "No, baby, I just crave peace." I stroked over the muscle flexing on Myles’s jawline. "Everyone will know soon enough. Let's take time in our little bubble."

  "How soon before I start driving around little O’Conner’s?" Jimmy asked before pulling under the awning of some hotel.

  I might have agreed to marry him on the fly, but kids were at a whole other level, and a level I never intended to reach. With our background, we both agreed we would be horrible parents.

  "Just practicing, Jimbo. The fun is making them, not raising them."

  Our life had a different feel to it. I knew the rumors would soon dominate the celebrity rags. I wasn't sure if it was being married that made me relax—even laid-back about the future—or the fact that everything I ever prayed about had finally come true. Myles was clean and free from the grips of addiction, and I finally got to breathe, knowing I was officially Emma O’Conner.

  After spending a whirlwind week jetting around the country, we had to catch a private plane to land in New York City. Manuscript was scheduled to appear on MTV's Unplugged. I had been on the set of Good Morning America and Entertainment Tonight, but I was extra excited about seeing MTV's studio.

  Myles positioned me out of camera range but within his eyesight. The guys were excited for us, and Myles told everyone around I was the new Mrs. O’Conner. Myles took a seat behind the drums to do a visual check. Camden made last-minute adjustments to the bass on the far right of the stage while Sawyer gave final directions to the crew and producers.

  The broadcast morphed into one of my favorite Manuscript experiences. They had played some of their biggest hits, and I had to admit each song had more s
oul when they played them acoustic.

  Sawyer lay down his guitar, then motioned for me to joined him between songs. I shook my head, confused at his unexpected request. The spotlight wasn't meant for me. Sawyer didn't care.

  He walked over and pulled me onto the stage until I was standing next to his mic stand. Everyone seemed a little confused, but Sawyer. I glanced back at Myles, who had held his hands out, pleading the fifth and laughing.

  "Hey, unicorn," Sawyer said to me through his mic, then looked back out over the small studio audience. "This beautiful lady here has had the dirtbag on the drums cooky for cocoa puffs since we were kids, and she finally agreed to make an honest man out of him. Ladies and gents, meet Mrs. Emma O’Conner."

  The film crew and small audience went berserk as I held my head down to hide behind my hair. Myles walked up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. The roar in the small space was deafening, but we didn't even notice. We were insulated in that private bubble I often wished about.

  "Hey, babe." Myles kissed me so softly before pulling a mic out of a nearby stand. "My beautiful Blue Eyes has made me the happiest man alive. I love you, guys," he said to the fans. The crowd cheered. He glued his piercing gray eyes to mine. There was no apology in his stare. "But this girl owns my heart. So, please be respectful as we navigate this new stage in our lives." Myles paused and kissed me on the forehead. "When I first met you, I didn't understand the concept of love. All I did know was my heart burst with a kaleidoscope of colors. Nothing, I mean nothing compares to how I feel with a simple touch of your hand."

  A stagehand came out and placed a stool on the stage as Sawyer motioned toward Myles that the set was his. Then I heard it, the beginning notes of the song he released solo while we were apart. Myles had never performed it lived once since we got back together. But he was finally calm and relaxed about our future.

  After the two encores, Myles and I escaped before answering one question. We spent the next six weeks visiting different cities around the globe. Myles planned the whole trip without me knowing and with the help of Jay. The hate Jay had of me evaporated when he saw how miserable Myles was without me.