Shattered and Shaken Read online

  I go sit beside him and cuddle into the nook of his arm. “Mornin',” I reply, placing a kiss on his cheek. He's no longer shirtless and in boxers. Now, he's wearing low-cut jeans that hang deliciously off his hips, exposing the V on either side of his pelvis - yum.

  “What's your plans for today? And don't tell me you're locking yourself up in your room again. I'll capture you and make you my filthy sex slave,” he teases, resting his hand on my thigh. The warmth from his touch blocks my concentration; all I can do is shrug my shoulders. My body reacts to him naturally. Maybe I should try to give myself to him? He's a great guy and I truly believe he won't hurt me like Wyatt did, maybe. When I'm around him, I'm happy. I feel sexy, and I feel loved. Maybe Blake's what I need to help me return to normal, because obviously, I can't do it on my own.

  Blake nor Sophie know what Wyatt did to me. They know that he was a long-term boyfriend who broke my heart, but they don't know the entire story; I plan on keeping it a secret - I don't want their pity. I need to rebuild my heart and give it to someone who deserves it, and I can't think of anyone more deserving than Blake. Plus, if I don't give myself to someone soon, my vagina's going to grow cobwebs and close shop. BOB is great, but there's nothing like the real flesh of penis filling you - nothing!

  I go into Sophie's bathroom and attempt to tame my mane. I swear trying to tame this shit is like Pee-Wee Herman trying to tame a lion - shit's impossible. Bringing out my weapons of mass destruction - gel, hair spray, blow dryer, and flat iron - I go to work. After an hour or so later, my hair's straight and presentable.

  Gathering up my weapons, I say goodbye to Soph, and go downstairs to join Blake. I toss my bag in the bed of his truck and he meets me at the passenger side door. “Thought you might need a lift,” he says, placing his hands on my hips and pushing me upward.

  “Thanks." I climb into the seat and buckle up.

  He rocks a four-door Dodge Ram with a hemi, and the lift kit on it is ridiculously high, but who cares...it’s fast and sexy. It’s canary yellow with black racing stripes going up the hood; it's manly. We ride in silence, holding hands the entire time. It takes us ten minutes to arrive at my house from Sophie's. We pull into my driveway and he puts the car in park. As he continues to hold my hand, he turns in his seat to face me.

  “Allie, will you go somewhere with me tonight?” His cheeks flush.

  “Depends. Will there be water I can have without turning tricks?” I ask, raising an eyebrow.

  “Oh, there'll definitely be water, but trick-turning is a must.” Opening his door, he jumps down, comes over and grips my waist, assisting me out of his truck. “I'll pick you up at seven,” he says, reaching into the bed of his truck to gather my belongings.

  “Seven's fine, but can you at least tell me what I should wear?”

  His hazel eyes gleam as he bites the corner of his bottom lip. “Just be sure to wear your bikini under whatever you decide to put on. Better yet, just come in your bikini - nothing else." He pushes me back against the truck, his cock hardening against my sex.

  “I'll see what I can do," I pant.

  Collecting my bag, I give him a peck on the cheek, and sprint towards my front door. I don't mean to be abrupt, but my body's experiencing things it hasn't felt in years; it's overwhelming. As I search for my keys, I realize the driveway is empty; Mom's still gone. It's a Saturday morning and I know she's off from work.

  Once I enter the house, I shoot straight for the kitchen, eager to get my hands on some coffee. In my house, the coffee machine is always ready to go. All I've got to do is turn it on and voila - coffee. Once the coffee is finished brewing, I pour a cup and head for the deck. Taking a seat in Kyle's favorite place, I lift my eyes to the sky and try to relax. I don’t understand why my life consists of nothing but pain. Fuck, I'm tired of hurting. I wish that I could speak to Kyle face-to-face and hear his voice. There are so many things I need put into perspective, but there's no one here to help me do it. Wyatt crushed my heart when Kyle first got deployed. When he left me, he took most of the shattered pieces to my heart along with him; I need them back, but how do I find them? There's a piece of us walking this Earth, her blue eyes taunting my dreams- I'm not sure I'll ever forgive him, or forget him. But I need to; I've finally found someone deserving of love, but I'm terrified. My heart's like a puzzle that's unfinished and with missing pieces - it's impossible to complete. There aren't any directions on how to put my heart back together again, and I'm afraid he'll give up waiting on me, but most importantly, I'm scared I'll crush his heart just as Wyatt did mine.

  After I finish sipping the rest of my coffee, I stand to enter the house. God, how I wish my brother was here now, telling me what an idiot I was being. “I really do miss you, more than you know. I'm lost without you,” I toss over my shoulder with a sigh as I swipe away an escaped tear.

  ***

  LAST NIGHT WAS INCREDIBLE. I had such a great time. I didn't think of Kyle the entire night, yet my mind easily wanders. I need to get out. Even though I've already taken a shower, I decide to go for my daily run to clear my mind.

  I run as far as my legs will carry me, which is about five miles from home. Immediately, I feel clearer, the heaviness lifting from my heart. I decide to walk back home instead of run. I'm out of water and I'm so breathless, I'm dizzy.

  Forty-five minutes later, I arrive home, and it's almost three in the afternoon. I make myself a sandwich and head upstairs to get ready for Blake. I go through my dresser and pick out a red string bikini to wear under a black strapless cotton dress. I pull my hair up, throw on some flip-flops and text Blake to let him know that I'm ready, just in case he wants to come by early. Immediately, my phone vibrates.

  Blake: Hell yes! On my way in 10

  I can't contain the smile that appears on my face. I'm excited to see where he's taking me. I've never been nervous to go out with Blake before, but tonight, I plan on letting him know that I'm totally and completely into him, and if he'll be patient with me, I'll surrender what's left of my heart, to him.

  They say life’s about taking chances, so I'm diving into him.

  True to his word, Blake's knocking on my door ten minutes later. As I open the door, I'm greeted by the sexiest smile known to man. He’s shirtless, only wearing swimming trunks. I'm in trouble.

  “Hi, gorgeous, ready?” he asks, nodding towards his truck.

  He's breathtaking, and he leaves me speechless. Nodding, I follow him outside. As usual, he has to lift me into his truck, but this time he lets out a satisfied moan. “Damn, girl, it's a beautiful site back here,” he sighs, squeezing my ass gently. Talk about splish-splash; thank God, I'm wearing a swimsuit to soak up the dampness between my thighs.

  He closes my door and makes his way around to the driver’s seat. We sit in silence taking each other in. Giggling, I break the silence, and our gaze; I can't help it, I've got butterflies fluttering around my stomach. Smiling, he shakes his head and shifts the gear to reverse, backing out of the driveway.

  “So, you gonna tell me where we're going?” I ask, staring out the window. I can't look at him right now. I feel the heat spreading in my cheeks, and I'm pretty sure the color that best explains them is fire-engine red.

  “Well, first we're going to get some ice cream,” he announces, glancing to me with a cocky grin occupying his face. He knows ice cream's my weakness.

  “Ice cream, huh! What if I don't want ice cream?”

  He snorts back a laugh. “Please, you not wanting ice cream; that'd be the day hell freezes over." He's right. I'll never turn down that delicious sugary sweetness. You can kick me in the vagina, twist my nipples, and call me Susie; offer me ice cream and all is forgiven.

  “True.”

  Fifteen minutes later, we pull in to the Baskin Robbins drive-thru. Blake orders a chocolate shake - plain and lame if you ask me. I on the other hand am adventurous, ordering a double scoop of German chocolate cake on a sugar cone; this shit's delicious. It’s definitely something you'd consid
er smacking your mama for. Turning in my seat to face Blake, I lick my ice cream seductively. “I can NOT believe you went to Baskin Robbins, home of 31 flavors, to order a fucking chocolate shake. Should I be concerned for you? I mean, does this explain your personality? Lame.”

  He has one hand on the steering wheel with his other holding his shake as he sips it down. “Chocolate is an all-time favorite for everyone...and if you don't stop teasing me with that cone, I'm going to throw it out the fucking window,” he threatens.

  I don’t know what’s coming over me. I suck at showing emotion, but there’s something about Blake that makes me want to break out of this shattered-ass shell that consumes me and try to love again. He makes me want to be a better person. Plus he buys me ice cream: you’re out of your fucking mind if you can’t love a man that buys you ice cream. I believe I’ll test our boundaries, test myself to see how far my heart will allow me to go.

  “Oh yeah?” I scoot closer to him, running my tongue around the cone and up the side of my melting scoops. Oh shit, he's pulling over. Snatching my ice cream from my hand, he tosses it out the window. “Hey!” I yell. “You've just signed your death wish with that asshole move.”

  Leaning over him I see my ice cream splattered to the ground. He turns me in his lap, adjusting us so that I straddle him. “Death wish, huh? I'd say you have some sort of wish, flaunting that hot-ass bikini at me,” he acknowledges, popping the string to my top. “You should take this off,” he insists, pulling at my dress.

  “I should huh?” This is it, this is my trial. Reaching down I begin to slowly pull the dress up just beneath my breasts, exposing my stomach. He begins to rub his fingertips up my core, but I quickly drop the dress and slap his hands away.

  “Tease," he calls, urging me back towards the passenger’s seat.

  As I buckle my seatbelt, I can't help but smile when I notice the growing bulge between his legs. Taking his hands, he rubs them up and down his face, and then pulls back onto the road, taking us towards our mysterious destination.

  Over an hour later, we arrive at Myrtle Beach; the view’s astounding. The sun's just setting and the beach is clear, except for a few people that are packing up getting ready to vacate the beach. Opening the door to exit the truck, Blake stands next to me with a cooler and blanket tucked under his arm. “C'mon, babe, wrap your arms around my neck and hold on tight. I'll ease you down.”

  I wrap my arms around his neck and he gently lowers me to the sand with his free arm, my body gliding down his. “I can get used to this ya know; sliding down your body and all,” I say, gently dragging my nails down his chest. His body shivers, and I know I've sent chills down his spine.

  “Slide freely, babe. It's all yours,” he admits, stalking towards the ocean.

  After he sets the cooler down, I help him spread the blanket on top of the sand. Sitting down, he stretches his legs out in front of him and leans back on his hands. The light from the setting sun shines perfectly on his bare abs. My fingers itch to trace them; I can't stop staring.

  “You know you can touch 'em, right? In fact, I insist that you do,” he says, flexing his abs.

  My stealth-like stares clearly aren’t as covert as I thought - cocky, shit. I sit down and adjust myself between his legs, leaning my back against his bare chest. “I believe I'll keep my hands to myself,” for now.

  “Stunning, huh?” His voice is close to my ear. It sends alight shiver down my spine.

  We're gazing out over a sparkling blue ocean. Its color clashes beautifully with the orange haze the sun's letting off. The sound of crashing waves is peaceful; their sound is therapeutic to one's mind. “Absolutely,” I barely mummer, enjoying the feel of his bare chest against my back.

  We lay on the blanket until the sun sets and the moon fully rises. “Wanna go for a dip?” He stands and extends his hand to me.

  I take his hand and allow him to pull me up. “I guess. Let me just get this off first.” Reaching down, I slowly pull the dress up over my head and toss it to the sand. “Ready.” I take his hand and he leads us out to the water. It’s freezing! Releasing his hand, I back away from the frigid waters.

  “Aw, Allie, c'mon now, it's not that cold.” He's out of his mind; that shit will give me frostbite.

  “Bullshit, my toes are already turning blue.” I lift my foot so he can inspect my toes. Okay, my toes aren't blue; I may have overreacted, but it’s cold - no lie.

  “Oh, babe, come here, let me warm you.” Walking towards me, he holds his arms out, and out of instinct, I run into him - big mistake. Picking me up, he throws me over his shoulder and takes off toward the water.

  “Blake! If you throw me in, I promise to decapitate your manly bits,” I yell. And before you say anything about me using decapitate incorrectly, I know it's separation of one's head from their body; however, the dictionary doesn't explain which head - don't judge me. “I swear, Blake, I'm not jok-” that's all I get out before swallowing a mouthful of saltwater. Asshole.

  I emerge from the water choking on its saltiness. I'm outraged. Wrapping his arms around me, he pins my arms to the side. “I warned you!” He squeezes me tighter.

  “Calm down, Al, sheesh, you're mad, I get it, but you're not cold anymore, are you?” he whispers beside my ear.

  Well, hell no, I'm not cold anymore, but it's not from being thrown into the water; it's from the trail of heat his breath left behind as it grazed my skin. Suddenly, my anger's subsided and I'm grateful for being in the water. I'm dripping. How this man can speak into my ear and send warmth straight down to my sex, melting anything within its path, is beyond me, but I love it.

  Without thinking, I wrap my arm around his neck, turn, jump up, and wrap my legs around his waist. I crash my lips into his so hard our teeth clash.

  “Holyfuckinhell,” he moans, sending my mouth into overdrive.

  I kiss him harder, faster. I wrap my fingers into his hair and moan into his mouth. He breaks our kiss and wraps my hair around his hand and tugs it tightly, pulling my head back so that he has full access to my throat. “God damn it, woman, you're fuckin' sexy,” he mumbles, teasing my neck with his tongue.

  He sucks at the base of my neck. “Mmm,” I moan as he takes the tip of his tongue and licks his way back to my mouth.

  “Remove your top,” he demands. Without thinking twice, I untie the strings to my bikini, and my breasts bounce freely. Bringing one of his hands to cup my right breast, he gently pulls on my nipple, and fuck, it feels amazing. He brings his mouth down to my breast and sucks my nipple, biting it gently, then drags his teeth to the end before releasing it. “You're so beautiful, Allie; mesmerizing,” he says, gazing into my eyes.

  He walks us back to the beach and lays me down on top of the blanket. I lie flat on my back with him between my legs. He hovers over me like a hawk that's ready to pounce on its prey. He sits up on his knees, placing a hand on my ankle, tenderly making its way up my leg until he reaches my sex; my vagina begins involuntary kegels. Placing his mouth just beneath my sternum, he trails butterfly kisses all the way down to the top of my bikini bottoms. Using his tongue, he traces his tongue back and forth across my waist.

  Reaching down, I pull him up, urging him to me; I need his mouth on mine, now. Quickly, he complies, giving me what I want. Gliding my hand down his chest and over his speed bump-like abs, I land on my target. Sliding my hands under his trunks, I grab firmly onto his cock, and wow. Just, fucking wow! He's long and thick, just the way I like it. Shit, what woman wouldn’t like a cock like this!

  Gripping him at the base, I massage his hardness, squeezing his shaft tightly. “Fuck. Me,” he groans into my mouth.

  “Will do.” I whisper against his lips with a light smile. Squeezing him tighter, I increase speed. After a moment he reaches down and grips my wrist, stopping my strokes. As I look at him quizzically his arm circles my waist and he positions me onto the blanket, flat on my back. His hands glide down my sides and slip under my bikini bottoms. Kissing my stomach he glide
s the bottoms down my legs.

  I’m completely naked beneath him. My legs fall open instinctively as he cups my sex, inserting his finger inside of me. “Agh,” I moan, arching my neck back. His fingers fill the void that’s been present for far too long. His lips remain attached to my stomach just beneath my navel, and I feel his lips spread into a smile as he chuckles softly.

  Kissing up my middle he veers left and captures my nipple into his mouth, massaging it with his tongue. His fingers glide in and out of me at a tantalizing speed, and as my hands grip the back of his neck my nails dig into his flesh. “Ah fuck, baby. I need to feel you,” he breathes. His fingers exit my sex and he pushes off of me, standing to remove his swimming trunks.

  He replaces himself between my legs, invading my sex with his deliciously hard cock. He thrusts into me gently several times, stretching me, providing me with a blissful burn. Both of his hands capture my breasts as I buck my hips into him. As the burn begins to fade he pulls out of me abruptly.

  “Aw Fuck! I don't have protection...shit! I didn't plan on this happening or I would've brought 'em....Fuck!” he hisses. He's frustrated, and I must admit that I'm pretty disappointed. But the thought of him not planning on fucking me warms my heart; it shows me he wants me, all of me. Frustrated he pushes himself away from me. He stands and clasps his hands behind his head as he takes off walking toward the ocean.

  I've never seen this side of Blake before; he's hot when he's aroused and irritated. He stands at the shoreline, gazing out over the ocean. His breathing is erratic, his back muscles flexing in unison with his lungs. I let him be until I see his breathing has calmed. Standing, I tiptoe across the sand as if it's noisy. Approaching him from behind, I wrap my arms around his waist, and my cheek against his back, trying to contain my laughter. “You okay?”

  He places his hands on top of mine. “Yeah, it's just I-I can't believe I took it that far! I wasn’t going to stop, Al. Being inside of you felt so good, so fucking good. Entering inside of you without wrapping this shit up shouldn't have even crossed my mind,” he says angrily.