The Little Old Lady Who Struck Lucky Again! Read online

  ‘Yes, I suppose we must carry out our plans, then,’ said Brains tentatively. Martha had said they would carry them out tomorrow. She had so many ideas all the time, sometimes it was hard to keep up. Brains looked around the room. For several months they had played roulette and raked in the equivalent of more than one hundred million kronor, but now it was time to round it off. They had felt the looks of the security guards. The men muttered into their earphones and stayed close to the tables every time the five of them turned up for the evening’s gambling. They were beginning to get nervous. You should never go on too long, or aim too high, he thought. Brains did a few sums in his head. During the last year, if they counted all of their various robberies and deceptions, they had collected two hundred and forty million kronor for the Robbery Fund. With the diamonds, they would certainly have reached about three hundred and forty million. So they were still lacking about one hundred and sixty million before the dividends could finance the donations for geriatric care they had planned, which was why Martha had agreed to Christina’s idea of robbing casinos. Stealing from a casino was a lot quicker than winning the money at roulette, Martha thought. She was always so impatient.

  ‘OK, let’s pack this in tonight. We’ll carry out the robbery tomorrow, and then go back to Sweden,’ said Martha.

  ‘But why should we carry out this giant coup? Isn’t it safer to steal at home in Sweden?’ Brains suddenly asked. He had grown up in the small suburb of Sundbyberg near Stockholm and, although he knew five languages, he had never lived abroad and felt a bit uncertain so far from home.

  ‘But my dear friend! We need those hundred and sixty million. What will happen otherwise, when we are too old to commit crimes?’ said Martha. ‘Here we can hit the real jackpot. Not until our children can live on the dividends from what we have invested with the money we’ve stolen, can we retire for real.’

  ‘You’ve got big plans, Martha dear,’ Brains sighed.

  ‘But of course we must go on stealing. The banks pay such poor interest on savings accounts nowadays,’ Anna-Greta added.

  ‘Yes, that’s true, of course,’ mumbled Brains, who wasn’t particularly versed in financial matters.

  ‘Well, then, cheers for the Robbery Fund All Inclusive,’ Martha said and smiled.

  ‘All inclusive?’ Rake looked puzzled.

  ‘Of course. The Robbery Fund must be made larger. Now that welfare has collapsed all over Europe, the Robbery Fund should also cover health care, schooling, other social—’

  ‘But, Martha, that sounds an awful lot. We mustn’t lose control,’ Brains said, as he was beginning to find it all rather confusing. ‘One thing at a time!’

  ‘I agree with Brains,’ said Anna-Greta. ‘We can’t start handing out money we don’t have.’

  ‘Oh yes we can, a lot of countries do that. If they can, so can we! Besides, the casino plot is watertight. We’re going to get lots of money,’ Martha said and threw out her arm in a foolhardy gesture. Her face creased in the pain. She had completely forgotten that she had overstrained her arm when she had sat half the night in front of one of the slot machines.

  Was the casino plan really watertight? The others looked somewhat worriedly at each other and, above all, they looked at Christina. She was somebody who worried about most things and, more than once, she had put them in awkward situations. She came from Jönköping, had had a strict religious upbringing, and was always hesitant before she dared to do anything new. While they had been in Las Vegas, her friends had done all they could to build up her self-confidence and they had succeeded only too well. Now she didn’t seem to have any inhibitions at all.

  Martha got up and fetched a bucket from the bar. It was full of gravel and sand that she had fetched earlier that day. She determinedly unscrewed the handle of her walking stick.

  ‘And as for doing robberies here in Las Vegas . . . well, it’s been a while since we committed a crime,’ Brains tried yet again. He cleared his throat: ‘We’re a bit rusty. Are you suffering from hubris, Martha, my dear? I mean to say, this isn’t just a little Swedish bank robbery. You want us to carry out a raid in one of the best-guarded casinos in the world. They have armed guards, CCTV everywhere and—’

  ‘Now, now, Brains. Just think what a delightful challenge it is!’ exclaimed Martha and she started filling the walking stick with gravel and diamonds. ‘It’ll all work out all right, you’ll see,’ she went on and gave him an encouraging pat on the cheek. ‘I bet you one hundred thousand dollars we’ll succeed!’

  ‘Just listen to yourself! You’ve become a compulsive gambler,’ he groaned and looked glumly at his fingernails that were now chewed to bits.

  ‘A little more coffee, perhaps?’ Martha tried to change the subject. ‘I’ll get some cups, you can open the wafers,’ she said as she got up.

  After Martha had served the coffee, she sealed the handle of her walking stick. Then she went to fetch the plan of the casino. Robbing a casino in Las Vegas was not just any old robbery; in that respect her friends were right. It would be difficult, and it was her duty to support and encourage them.

  ‘I know we’ve looked at these building plans a thousand times, but as an exercise I think we should try to memorize the layout by tomorrow. Nobody will make any mistakes with a door or a corridor then,’ she said as she lay out the building plans on the table.

  ‘You never give up, do you?’ Rake sighed. ‘Do you want us to do a round of gym exercises after coffee too?’

  Martha pretended not to hear him. She was admittedly very particular about them all keeping in good condition, but now was not the right occasion for exercising. All their focus must be on the robbery. It would be a last, but necessary, coup before they left America. They needed the proceeds from their criminal activities. If the League of Pensioners could help people to a better life, then they would have achieved a great deal. Then she and her friends could give up their criminal activities and live a good life in the years they had left.

  The next day they packed all their belongings and prepared themselves for the journey, and followed this with their usual afternoon nap. At dinner time the mood was undeniably a little tense, but they all put on a brave face – as brave as they possibly could. After a fortifying meal with lobster and champagne, they all felt well prepared for the evening’s adventure.

  Brains and Rake put on their stylish black suits, while Martha, Christina and Anna-Greta dressed in silk and tulle, and wrapped themselves in long, wide shawls. In suite 831 there was a smell of perfume and shaving lotion and when the zips of the long dresses needed to be pulled up, Brains and Rake hurried to assist.

  Brains looked uncomfortable, but he always did when he couldn’t wear his usual 1950s trousers and checked flannel shirt. He felt so uncomfortable dressed up in a dark suit with a tie and a white handkerchief in his top pocket that he’d blown his nose on the handkerchief and then put it back in place, which made Martha quickly find a new one for him. The charmer Rake was right at home in his elegant clothes and carried his suit with a straight posture and a confident smile. Christina was wearing a light-blue dress with shoulder straps and a large pink hat, while Anna-Greta strode across the floor in her rustling evening gown which was so old-fashioned that she looked as if she came from another – indefinable – century. She wasn’t interested in clothes and she really didn’t care what she looked like. If she could, she would have put on an old tracksuit. Or even better, she would be happiest the day somebody invented a clothes spray so you only had to spray yourself and you’d be clothed.

  When they had all got dressed and fortified themselves with a cup of coffee, Martha pulled out the building plans.

  ‘The staffroom is diagonally behind the toilets beside the emergency exit at the end of the corridor. This ought to be a quick grab-and-run robbery,’ she said, tracking with her finger slowly across the paper.

  ‘Grab and grab, and run and run. Have you ever seen running wheelchairs?’ muttered Rake, who had a weakness for sarcasms. On t
his particular evening they would not have their usual Zimmer frames with them, but would instead carry out the robbery in electric-powered wheelchairs.

  ‘Well, they can go pretty fast, that’s for sure!’ said Brains smugly, with a mischievous look on his face. For a brief moment Martha was worried, because she had seen him working on the wheelchairs with his tools all afternoon. But Brains would certainly have done his best. He had a great talent for technical things and so far he had not disappointed her. She decided to trust him.

  ‘Don’t start arguing, boys, but just try to remember this,’ said Martha and she held up the building plans which were full of markings in various colours. A large X indicated the staffroom and some smaller ones showed the escape routes. Some mumbling and throat-clearing could be heard while the five of them memorized the building plans a final time. Rake fidgeted with his cravat around his neck.

  ‘Everybody says it’s impossible to commit crime in Las Vegas, but you, Martha, think we can fool the lot of them.’

  ‘Yes, it’s inspiring to try, isn’t it?’ answered Martha quickly. She knew, deep inside, that something could go wrong but she kept that insight to herself. Anything else would have been destructive for the group’s confidence.

  ‘Now that we’ve made up our minds, we mustn’t start doubting ourselves,’ advised Christina as she pulled out her lipstick. Of course she was worried too, and didn’t even dare to think about the fact that they might end up in an American prison. But since she was the one who had mostly been responsible for the idea, she wanted to go through with the robbery. One day when she’d been on her way to the Ladies to touch up her make-up, she’d noticed that the door to the casino staffroom was ajar. She peeped in and saw that the betting chips were kept there and there wasn’t a guard in sight.

  Naturally, Christina told her friends about this. ‘If one could get at those chips . . . well, you understand my meaning.’ And of course they all did.

  Christina didn’t need to say any more to kick-start the adventurous spirit of the League of Pensioners. The five friends saw the sparkle in each of the others’ eyes, and that was that. Now it was time to act upon it!

  ‘Righto, next stop the casino,’ said Martha and put the building plans down on the table. ‘Good luck to everyone. We’ll rendezvous in the car park, OK?’

  A murmur of agreement was heard from the others.

  ‘Oh, do you have the tickets?’ Martha asked. She wanted to make sure every part of their plan was accounted for.

  ‘Stop treating us like children,’ Rake responded churlishly.

  Martha blushed. It was hard for her to keep track of everything and everyone whilst at the same time refrain from getting too bossy. But, after all, she had persuaded her friends to embark upon their criminal path last year at Diamond House. She had masterminded their escape from the dreary care home and then organized their great art heist. So, as the ringleader of the group, it was up to her to stop them running into difficulties.

  Martha just couldn’t stop herself from adding, ‘Just one last thing. Don’t forget the balloons!’

  ‘Yes, indeed, or the CCTV system,’ mumbled Rake.

  ‘And don’t drink too much during the evening,’ chimed in Anna-Greta.

  ‘No more than will make us naturally confused,’ giggled Christina.

  ‘No more than usual, in other words,’ said Brains.

  Martha picked up the building plans, got up and pushed them into the document shredder.

  ‘Let’s hope we remember everything now,’ Christina commented anxiously as she watched the scraps of shredded paper emerge from the other end of the machine. ‘What if we forget something?’

  ‘We won’t,’ said Rake, squeezing her hand encouragingly.

  ‘And we can’t walk around holding a map while we commit a crime,’ Anna-Greta said as she pushed her 1950s spectacles up onto her forehead.

  ‘Indeed we can’t,’ Martha agreed, and she picked up the paper scraps and flushed them down the toilet.

  3

  The betting hall with its plush red carpets had no windows and there were no clocks to be seen. Those who entered the casino did not want to be reminded of the time; they were there to enjoy themselves. The high, dark tables with their roulette wheels attracted hordes of people, most of them tourists. You couldn’t always tell who the compulsive gamblers were, but they were there amidst them.

  A muffled buzz of voices lay like a blanket over the room. Fat men in suits or Hawaiian shirts walked around between the tables, treading nervously on the red carpets. Ladies in long dresses and glittering jewels leaned over the tables, pushing heaps of betting chips out and fidgeting with their manicured nails. In the background you could hear the distinctive noises from the slot machines.

  ‘We’ll play with the highest stakes tonight of course,’ said Martha as she came close to colliding with Anna-Greta after accidently steering towards a table in her powered wheelchair. Anne-Greta, who was as tall as a drainpipe and looked as though she had come straight from the film about Mary Poppins (only the umbrella was missing), veered out of her path at the very last second. She gave Martha an irritated look.

  ‘Take it easy! We practised manoeuvring yesterday. And for goodness’ sake don’t crash into anybody – because then the security guards will get to know of it.’

  ‘No traffic accidents here,’ Martha started to say but abruptly turned silent. Across the room, she could see that the security guards were already emptying out of the staffroom: their shift for the evening had begun. She sneaked a look at the doorway. They had all agreed that they must strike as early as possible in the evening, while there were still lots of betting chips in the room, but as quickly as this . . . they had hardly had time to get to the roulette tables and blend in with the other gamblers.

  ‘What a weird lamp up there on the ceiling. I didn’t see that yesterday,’ said Rake who had parked by the long side of the roulette table. He looked up towards a shining bowl-shaped object right above the table.

  ‘Pah, it’s only another camera,’ said Martha, trying to sound plucky. ‘Don’t worry about that. They must have a whole wall of TV screens in the security room, and one more doesn’t make any difference. They’re probably looking at us this very minute.’

  Rake pulled out his steel comb and tidied his parting. It was a reflex reaction. He always wanted to look smart and he enjoyed other people admiring him. His friends claimed that he deliberately filled his pockets with coins when he went through security checks at airports – it was just like Rake to draw attention to himself and they were convinced that he was hoping for a body search by one of the female guards. Rake slipped the comb back in his pocket, straightened his fringe and put his straw hat on. It wasn’t fancy, but it was necessary this particular evening.

  ‘Don’t bother about the cameras. We’ll be out through the doors before the guards have time to react,’ Martha went on cheerfully. She tried to sound confident, but her heart was pounding. She moistened her lips, nodded to the others and, for the sake of appearances, pushed a few chips onto the roulette table. ‘We mustn’t forget to place some bets, you hear!’

  Martha always wanted to win, but this evening they had decided to lose as much as they possibly could. They didn’t want to attract the attention of the guards. The croupier spun the wheel and then spun the ball in the other direction. Out of habit, Martha bet on a colour. Today it would be black. Then she remembered that she shouldn’t double her bets this evening; they had agreed that they wanted to lose, so she quickly pushed a big heap of chips on the double zero. That never came up.

  ‘No more bets!’ said the croupier and looked at all the players. He eyed Martha a bit longer than the others, as if he suspected her of something, but then he spun the ball, which whirled around before bouncing off the sides a few times and then falling down. On the double zero.

  ‘Oops!’ said Christina and pushed her sun hat higher up on her head. A win, that wasn’t part of the plan. Martha looked up at the
ceiling again. The new camera seemed to have zoned in on their table. Best to lose it all now, she thought, so she left all the chips on the double zero again. That very same moment she saw the door to the staffroom being opened as one of the guards went in there. Martha moved her hand to the wheelchair control joystick.

  ‘Brains, it’s time!’ she hissed but she wasn’t able to say any more before the door closed again. That same moment the ball fell onto the numbers and landed on the double zero again.

  ‘What in the name of heaven . . . I’ve never seen anything like it!’ she stuttered and looked on with a daft expression as the croupier pushed a pile of chips across to her. Some security guards with earphones approached the table, stopped and stood right behind them. I must lose now, Martha thought, and bet all her chips on black.

  ‘Please, please, let me lose now!’ she said silently to herself. And then, just then, the door to the staffroom opened again at the same time the ball fell down onto a black number. One of the security guards pulled out his mobile phone.

  ‘What the!’ Martha gasped.

  ‘Have you seen them? That gang of old people are here again,’ said Stewart, a middle-aged supervisor, as he glanced up at the nearest TV screen. ‘Wow, they’re winning a lot there, first the double zero and now black. Those idiots will bankrupt us. I bet you there’s something fishy going on.’

  The security room above the casino looked like a TV shop with all the televisions turned on at the same time. All round the walls two rows of screens flickered with images from different rooms and tables. In the middle was a large elliptical table where security staff sat. Now and then they zoomed in on somebody who looked suspicious.

  ‘Just because they’re having a run of good luck you think they’re up to no good. Take it easy. Soon they’ll lose it all again,’ answered his colleague, who was called Bush. He had curly hair like the former president and was just as cocky. The only difference was that he hadn’t started a war.