HWJN (English 2nd Edition) Read online

  “That is what I said. Ho-Jan,” she repeated.

  Sawsan said, “Maybe it’s Hawjan, not Ho-jan. Like my name.”

  Again I was shocked! How stupid of me! It was the first time I realized my name was so similar to hers, which was spelled SWSN in Arabic. Hearing my name come from her lips was like hearing it for the first time in my life, as if I had just been born and she was the one who named me. I just fell in love with my name when she pronounced it.

  However, Khulud’s question got me out of my simple mental party. “Your name is Hawjan?”

  I awoke from my fascination and moved the cap to the word “Yes,” then moved it back to the letters: “H W J N… S W S N… H W J N… S W S N.”

  “He’s fallen for you, Sawsan. You’ve always been a Jinni!” Areej said.

  Khulud signaled her to shut up, then went on questioning me: “How old are you, Hawjan?”

  Ouch! That was the question I had hoped they would never ask. What should I say?

  “Y O U N G,” I spelled out. “9 0.”

  Areej laughed as she said, “Is that a car plate? I swear this Jinni is so cool!”

  “You’ve gone too far,” Khulud warned her. “This kidding is not acceptable.”

  “Don’t worry. We have his girlfriend Sawsan here.”

  As much as her first joke bothered me, her second joke tingled my feelings.

  Khulud went on:, “Are you ninety years old, Hawjan?”

  I shyly moved the cap toward “Yes.” Just before I reached it, Sawsan finally talked: “Married?”

  Areej jumped in. “Surely he’s married, and has fifty kids and two hundred grandkids. He told you he’s ninety years old!”

  I stopped Areej this time when I moved the cap to “No.” My heart jumped as I laughed. Sawsan’s question meant she was convinced I was young, or at least that was what I tried to convince myself of.

  She went on to ask me softly, “Why not, Hawjan?”

  And for the second time, I felt as if I had heard my name for the first time. But what should I answer?

  Areej saved me with another joke. “Why? Don’t you have Jinn girls as beautiful as us?”

  I moved to “No” as fast as I could and kept repeating it.

  Areej said, “Sawsan, your boyfriend is a flirt! Khulud, ask him what he looks like. Where does he live?”

  Sawsan let out one of her soft laughs. “Girls, we need to get back home. We have class early tomorrow morning. Did you forget?”

  Areej agreed with her. “And the entire shop is watching us like we’re the girls in Charmed. Let’s leave with dignity before they call the cops.”

  “Goodbye, Hawjan.” Khulud tore me apart when she said this. I moved to “Goodbye” and removed my hand from the cap. It stopped like a rock.

  “Are we done? Can I close my bottle? Forgive me, Loai!” Areej cried.

  As the girls collected their things in preparation to leave, Sawsan said, “It’s best we take this paper with us so no one comes along and sees it.”

  She took the paper and stuffed it into her bag. leaving me with nothing but my mixed emotions. I stayed in the café, her soft voice saying my name repeating in my head until the sun came up.

  (4)

  Eyad…

  I Hate You!

  You Humans are very complicated when it comes to emotions. And, in my opinion, everything else, and I think you have infected me. Every time I try to understand your emotional structure, I fail. You live in the madness of love and the anguish of passion so long that love is impossible, and dissipates when lovers meet. When they live together. When their relationship moves from messages and late-night calls to a real fight with life! Then…. love transforms. In the best cases to a boring routine, to a list of responsibilities that both lovers must perform and they pretend to cry for the heat of their old passion. But less fortunate love transforms into a struggle, stubbornness, and a raging war to take hold: that usually ends with despair and separation. I know there are people who know the true meaning of eternal love—the kind that knows no selfish behavior, and days only add to its fire. However, these cases are rare.

  One of them was Dr. Abdulraheem and his wife, Mrs. Raja. I knew this when I saw him opening the car door for her and flirting with his eyes as she climbed in, then closing the door behind her gently, like a nobleman from the Middle Ages. I saw her massaging his back every night as his pain increased, and I wondered how many years she had been doing that. I guessed real love such as this was worthy of creating a nest for a sweet angel like Sawsan.

  Although she rarely left my thoughts, I did not see her save in the small moments when she leaned out of her window to tender to her flowers, or when she returned from school just before I left her room (previously my room).

  Before Sawsan and her family moved into the house, I slept next to the wall, facing the window, but now, as her cabinet occupied that spot, I had to sleep behind the door. I spent the rest of my time in the small storage room at the corner of the garden, resisting falling asleep until Sawsan left with her father to go to school. At that point, I would seize the moment to go into her room, chasing what remained of her perfume, enjoying the view of her stuff before the maid cleaned up the room—her bed, her desk, her coffee cup of green tea. I wondered what her angelic calmness hid. Oh Sawsan! I wish I could take a stroll into your thoughts, to know how you think, what you feel and what or who occupies you thoughts!

  One day, I came upon Sawsan’s diary, that last friend she talked to before she went to bed, and the only one lucky enough to know what she thought. Why would there not be a second? The thought frightened me! After all of the stories I had heard her friends tell, it was hard to believe that any young girl lived without adventure no matter how shallow it was. It was hard to believe there would be a girl without a story about a knight, or even about a jerk. There were girls who hid such relationships from their families for years.

  But Sawsan…she was different. And how did I know that? I do not deny that sometimes—very few times—I would go beyond just watching from afar and would nose into her personal life. One night, when Sawsan was studying with her books and computer, a message appeared on the corner of the screen from a person named Eyad, that was her knight’s name!

  “Sawsan, are you online? How are your studies going? I hope I’m not bothering you. But if you need anything, I’m staying up late.”

  She did not respond to the message, but her smile bothered me. That ridiculously absurd chivalry that guys offer only to girls, and the clear confidence of girls that no guy can miss. I found myself, for the first time, getting upset with Sawsan! For the first time, you Sons of man had infected me with jealousy. I couldn’t believe it. Jealous of a Human whose age barely marked one quarter of mine? And named Eyad, no less?

  I avoided admitting my jealousy of this Son of man for a while, even to myself. I justified it as being protective of Sawsan, so she would not be hurt by boys. That excuse allowed me to rationalize my getting closer to her to protect her. Honestly, the Daughters of man are in dire need for protection from the boys of this generation!

  I remember in my childhood how girls had been revered as queens, protected by their fathers, brothers, cousins, neighbors, and even strangers who would stand up with gallantry and chivalry. All of that is almost extinct in today’s world. Today people care only about satisfying their animal instincts.

  So no, I did not like this Human called Eyad. I did not like him at all. I imagined him as one of the many male students at the school of medicine who tried to charm each female student, thinking their manhood was complete though their parents still gave them money for gas and snacks.

  That night Sawsan did not sleep; she stayed up studying. The next morning I followed her to the university. I could not sleep either, as I normally did during the day, because of my racing thoughts. A driver took her to school early that day because of her exams, and she sat in the back of the car, reviewing her material. I sat next to her and watched her. This was a
new experience for me. I thought I would be the only Jinni up at that time, but I was shocked by the number of devils that wake with you Humans every morning.

  Rush-hour traffic is a platform for a lot of your sins and calamities. I have no idea how you can tolerate the slow movement. It took us a half hour to get there—I can cross the sea and come back in less than an hour!

  We finally arrived to the university and, as I had suspected, there were many Human males and females entangled in adulation and deception. Sawsan was highly respected by her professors and classmates alike; she was the brightest student in her class, she utilized the hours her female peers spent on makeup, the Internet, shopping, cafés, and phone calls to achieve her goal of excellence.

  I could not immediately make out who Eyad was. I walked behind Sawsan and gazed at her peers, trying to read what they were thinking. Some liked her; others simply admired her brilliance. Others wondered why she had not covered her face with makeup like the rest of the students and only settled for a little bit of eyeliner and pink lipstick that was not really different from her lips’ color.

  Then I heard a guy behind me. “Sawsan, how are you? Ready for the exam?”

  I knew he was Eyad even before I turned to him, just from the way Sawsan smiled and shyly nodded her head without responding. When I did look, I saw he was the definition of a cool guy. He knew how to use just enough fashion to complement his innocent, handsome looks. Tall, athletic, light honey-colored eyes, dark skin, and I could clearly tell from his clothes that he was wealthy. In short, he was the perfect dream boy, and a real catch for any girl who could get him to pop the question.

  “Hawjan, what’s wrong with you?” I thought then. “Are you comparing yourself to a Human? To a guy who can make her happy and help her to fulfill her dreams? Who can marry her? Live with her? Be a father to her kids? And even before all of that, she could actually see him, touch him, talk to him, and fall into his arms!” I really had gone too far with this insanity. I told myself to leave these Humans alone.

  Seemed as though seeing Eyad had woken me from my foolishness. I left Sawsan at the university and returned home to sit next to Mother, watch her sleep, and finally fall asleep myself at her feet. I had not slept like that in a long time—a long, continuous slumber without thinking of Sawsan. I woke up hours later determined to present the idea of leaving this house to Mother once more, but just before I opened the subject, I noticed a fuss in the house—in Sawsan’s room specifically. My determination dissipated, and the pinch of sanity that had passed over me was gone. My passion and curiosity won out.

  I went close to Sawsan’s window and found her friends around her while she laid on the bed. From their chatter I understood that she had passed out during the exam! My body shivered as I moved toward her. The smile on her face did not convince me as it did her friends and family. I know she was sad. Very sad. What happened to her? I did not know why, but I blamed myself for leaving her at school as if I could have done anything for her.

  Areej told the others, “Come on, girls. Sawsan needs some rest. We need to leave. It’s almost midnight.”

  Sawsan responded, “You can’t leave! Let’s stay up late. We have nothing tomorrow. Did you truly believe I’m sick? I’m just being silly.”

  “Really?” Areej teased. “If that’s true then we should stay up all night. I’ve got some amazing movies you’ll love!”

  Raghad agreed. “What do you think if we play that Jinn game you told me about? It sounds really exciting. I want to try it.”

  “Should have mentioned that before our sorceress Khulud left,” said Areej. “She’s the one who knows how to call upon them.”

  Sawsan laughed. “What a crazy mind you have. So she’s a sorceress now? Do you have no shame? This is just a mental game. I have the paper we used in the café the other day. Would you like to try some sorcery?”

  Raghad shouted with childish excitement. “Yes, please, please! I really want to try it. I need some action!”

  “It’s in that cabinet over there,” said Sawsan.

  And as usual Areej seized the moment for another of her sarcastic statements. “It seems you miss your boyfriend Hanjan!”

  “You mean Hawjan,” Sawsan said with a laugh that made me melt. She remembered me! But I wondered: Should I talk to them now? What should I say? I had to organize my thoughts. Time was not on my side as they opened up that paper on the bed.

  Areej removed her ring, saying, “Loai, forgive me. I will have to curse you a second time!”

  She laid the ring on the paper, and the girls put their fingers on it. Sawsan toke the lead this time:

  “Is someone there? Is someone there?”

  I raced to the ring. Put my hand over it and tried to move it, but nothing happened.

  She went on: “Is someone there? Is someone there?”

  “They might be asleep,” Areej whispered.

  “Don’t press hard on the ring,” said Sawsan. “Just barely touch it.”

  Rahgad lightened her touch, and the ring finally moved! I pushed it toward “Yes: and danced happily around it.

  Raghad removed her finger from the ring in terror. “You’re moving it! Swear you’re not moving it!”

  “Damn you! Put your finger back on this ring before we’re all possessed. Come on!” yelled Areej.

  Raghad returned her anxious shivering finger, and I could not resist starting my chat with Sawsan.

  “H O P E… Y O U… G E T… B E T T E R.”

  They read it in shock. Not one of them made a sound. I shattered the silence with the scrape of the ring across the paper.

  “H O P E… Y O U… G E T… B E T T E R… S A W S A N.”

  “Thank you for your sentiment, but can you introduce yourself?” she asked—but she was smiling.

  “Do you know how I’ll score on my exam?” Raghad butted in as her curiosity replaced her fear.

  “No one knows the future but Allah,” Sawsan responded as I moved the ring to “No.”

  “What is your name?” she repeated.

  I moved quickly to “H,” but Sawsan jumped the gun. “Hawjan?”

  I raced to “Yes” and hovered there in joy. I heard my name from her once more! But Areej had to intrude with her usual mockery.

  “Did Jinn go extinct? Is there no one left but you? Sawsan, it seems this is your companion.”

  Raghad asked me, “Where do you live?”

  Where did I live? Should I frighten Sawsan with my answer? I dared not!

  “Y A R D.”

  “The yard of our house?” she asked.

  I moved the ring to “Yes.”

  Areej analyzed the situation. “Maybe he liked you in the café, so he came back with you and decided to live here in your house!”

  I moved the ring to “No.” Then I spelled out, “I… A M… H E R E… F O R… A… L O N G… T I M E.”

  “Really? So what brought you with us to the café?” asked Sawsan.

  “C U R I O S I T Y,” I answered.

  “Amazing. Just amazing! I swear this Jinni is one of a kind!” said Areej. “I told you he fell for you, and you didn’t believe me!”

  “Let me ask him,” Raghad interrupted once more. “Let me ask him: Does anyone else live here with you?”

  I moved the ring to “Yes.” “M O T H E R… G R A N D F A T H E R.”

  “Only your mother and grandfather? No other Jinn live here?”

  I moved the ring to “No.”

  “Wait just a minute,” Areej said. “Didn’t you tell us you’re ninety years old? And your mother is alive? And so is your grandfather? How old is he? Two thousand?”

  “4 2 0.”

  “Are you Muslims?” asked Sawsan.

  I moved the ring to “Yes.”

  Now, Areej being Areej, she had to ask me the most embarrassing question: “Which of us do you like the most?”

  I moved the ring toward Sawsan until it came off the paper and fell into her lap. I had no idea if that made her feel
happy of frightened. She slowly retuned the ring to the paper.

  Raghad asked, “You like Sawsan the most?”

  I kept hovering over “Yes” and then moved over the letters. “S A W S A N… H O W… A R E… Y O U?”

  “I’m okay,” she responded with a slight laugh.

  “I like your Jinni. He’s so cute!” said Areej.

  “Okay, so who of us do you hate the most?” Raghad went on.

  “E Y A D.” I moved the ring without thinking

  “Eyad? You know Eyad?” asked Sawsan.

  I moved the ring to “Yes.”

  What had I done? I was so stupid! I’d just admitted my love to Sawsan, and my jealousy of Eyad! I was frightening the poor girl. This was enough. I moved the ring and hovered over “Goodbye.”

  Sawsan responded faintly, “Goodbye.”

  The ring stopped, and I left the room in a hurry, as if I were afraid that Sawsan might see the look on my face. She kept staring at the window after I left. I had gone too far this time. I’d crossed the line, and I was angry at myself for being so reckless. But, I had to admit, I also felt a joy I had never felt before—the joy of telling Sawsan I was near her, that I had feelings for her…and that I was jealous. At least I’d let her know I existed. That was enough for me!

  In the yard I found my mother standing in front of me, her face twisted with anger and sadness. “Hawjan, you disobeyed me! You disobeyed me!”

  She vanished without giving me a chance to speak. Even if she had, I would not have found the words to justify my disobeying her when she’d made it clear to me that I should stay away from Sawsan.

  (5)