Last Letters Read online

  6. During the first years of their marriage, Freya and Helmuth could not agree on whether they should have children in such times. In January 1937, Freya, having won the support of Helmuth’s grandmother Jessie Rose Innes, decided the matter on her own, and in November 1937, Helmuth Caspar was born. Helmuth and Freya were both in favor of having a second child, and in September 1941, Konrad was born.

  7. The letters were written at the home of Harald Poelchau, the prison chaplain at Tegel prison who acted as postman for both Freya and Helmuth.

  8. Helmuth had come to expect his premature death under the Nazi regime.

  9. All predeceased family. Mami: Helmuth’s mother, Dorothy von Moltke; Carl Bernd: Helmuth’s brother, Carl Bernhard von Moltke; Granny: Helmuth’s grandmother Jessie Rose Innes; Daddy: Helmuth’s grandfather James Rose Innes.

  10. On January 28, 1944, a bomb landed next to the Gestapo complex on Prinz-Albrecht-Strasse, near Helmuth’s cell, but it failed to explode.

  11. Their eldest son, Helmuth Caspar, is generally mentioned in the diminutive form abbreviated as “C.chen.” As there is no diminutive form of the name in English, we have used the German diminutive “Casparchen.”

  12. The family estate.

  13. The Schloss (manor house) was the home of the family until 1928, when they moved to the smaller Berghaus on the hill above the farm yard. During the war, many refugees from the bombing were housed there, including the Reichwein family.

  14. Helmuth’s cousin.

  15. Freya signs almost all her letters with “P.”; this letter stands “Pim,” a nickname used only by the couple with each other.

  HELMUTH JAMES TO FREYA, SEPTEMBER 30, 1944

  30 Sept 44

  My dear, we are now shackled day and night, which makes writing quite difficult, so if one feature or another in my handwriting strikes you as unfamiliar, this handicap is the cause. My love, I was so happy to see you for a few short seconds, since I knew nothing about you apart from what was in the little letter you sent me with my things in Drögen.1 Other than that, the last news I got was from August 17.2 I hope you will have seen that I’m well, surprisingly well under the circumstances; and you, my love, are a good part of the reason. Just think, since the time when everything has gotten worse, I haven’t worried about you for a moment, not for an instant. I’ve felt so proud to have a wife I can trust to ride out the things in store for us. [Marginal note: handcuffs off] My love, I’m so certain of my cause, I’m so firmly anchored, that God willing, I will not for a moment lack the strength I’ll need. I believe you can rely on that. It’s also true, my love, that over these past weeks no earthly matters have been on my mind apart from you and the little sons, unless they concerned the fight for my life. I couldn’t muster interest in anyone or anything. Even Asta [Wendland] 3 and Ulla [Oldenbourg]4 and the others came to mind only in relation to you and the little sons, like so many bits of scenery. As you can see, I’ve spent this week quite close to the three of you, my love.

  Since I don’t know how much time I have left, I want to jot down a few other things. I can’t sway your decision as to whether you stay in Kreisau, nor do I want to. I’m fine with whatever you decide, including, of course, your decision to stay. It would be wrong for someone uninformed about the factors in play to presume to judge the situation, especially if he cannot assess the extent to which pure sentiment is involved.

  My case looks like this: It is well established that I knew quite a bit about Goerdeler and that I was determined to fight against his plans.5 The issue is my failure to meet the obligation to notify the authorities, which can be regarded either as very serious, because I knew so much, or as very minor, because it is established that I did not approve of it, and, as long as I was free, I tried hard to fight these plans, but after my arrest I relied on Peter [Yorck]6 to continue fighting and to report them to the authorities as appropriate. So in my view, this case can be made.

  The second issue is Kreisau7: a. Is it high treason? I counter this by pointing out that the Goerdeler case establishes that I was against any change in the form of government and all the plans were postwar plans. This issue might work out as well. b. Was it defeatism, based on an assumption that the war would be lost?8 My argument: only prophylactically in the event of a catastrophe, until then: fight to the utmost, hence no defeatism. But some of those involved appear to have said that I was understood to be defeatist. In isolation, this issue could conceivably be handled as well. The difficulty is the constellation of the three issues, on top of which there is of course Kiep,9 too, and furthermore the mere fact of my contact with Carlo [Mierendorff],10 the bishops, and the Jesuits, as well as my visit to Rehrl,11 the former governor of Salzburg, would appear to be regarded as just about all that is needed, once all these people—including Rösch and company—went over to Goerdeler following my arrest. I am thought to have brought them together, and Goerdeler put them to use. So this appraisal actually makes the case hopeless if it can’t be thrown out. I see a glimmer of hope in only two fine lines of argument: a. the subjective one, determining that I did not want any of this to happen and that ultimately I was let down by Peter’s failure to hold to this line during my imprisonment and don’t want to pay the price for Peter’s guilt now;12 b. the objective one, with my overall attitude and past indicating that I am no reactionary and truly not part of the group of people involved in the events of July 20th. So it’s worth thinking about whether you could talk over the matter with Dix,13 and if Dix doesn’t want to, with Sack, the defense lawyer who is said to be very good. You would just have to give some thought to explaining how you could have come to know all this; anyway, Dix can continue to represent the matter only if you two can see a way to do so without your being dragged into it as well. In any case, you should leave no stone unturned, because I don’t think the matter can get any worse at this point.

  I don’t really know whether you ought to speak with those now in charge of me [marginal note: SS Major Neuhaus, Meinekestrasse] either, but I think it’s basically harmless, provided that you get Lange’s department on Prinz-Albrecht-Strasse, or Huppenkothen, to refer you there.14 It might be best for you to say that I’m on doctor’s orders to eat honey and plenty of sugar or else I’ll suffer from fainting spells, and to ask whether you might be able to give me these things. I can get food only via the appropriate department,15 and I’d need to take some with me when I’m there, because the prison doesn’t allow it.—By and large I’m in favor of a visit to Neuhaus, because the personal impression this man gets of me could spell the difference between life and death, even if the bulk of the power lies with Freisler16 and the chief Reich prosecutor.17 One thing is certain in any case: I get along better with Neuhaus than with Lange and company. He runs the church department, and is thus a raging heathen, but he’s educated.

  Chief Reich prosecutor and Freisler: You need to talk this over with Dix. The question is whether we should try to enlist Carl Viggo [von Moltke]’s18 help. Do discuss this with Dix, at any rate. Maybe Steengracht19 can also be swayed into joining this game somehow or other. But don’t waste your energy on getting me additional comforts now; that can only be the grounds for your visit to Neuhaus, yet any serious actions have to be directed at the ultimate verdict.

  Don’t think that I am clinging to these possibilities with any sort of hope. I’m writing about it so extensively because I think everything possible ought to be done, even if we don’t think it will help. After all, you can never know. But don’t pin your hopes on it. Please let me know if you have understood my line of defense or need any elaborations.

  As for things I’ll be needing, they include a winter suit in exchange for the one you just brought me, a winter coat, and a hat. It’s very cold here. I would also like to have a blanket and a pair of cuff links sewn with mother-of-pearl buttons or fabric, none of my decent ones, as well as a necktie and shoe-cleaning kit. I’d also like a couple of envelopes. Maybe I can write you more than one letter after all.—Finally, a foun
tain pen would be very nice, since mine got lost when I was brought here. In the five days between my first interrogation in Ravensbrück and when I was issued prison fatigues, had my books confiscated, etc., I already pictured what lay ahead, so I memorized a series of passages from the Bible, and recited them to myself every day in the mornings and afternoons, while continuing to discover new things in them. I’m sending you a list so you’ll know what I’m working on. I also whistle hymns all the time.—The guards here in the prison are very friendly and willing to do anything possible, but they are of course unable to go against the regulation that we remain shackled at all times.

  My dear, those are all the practical things I have to report. Most of all, I want to repeat that if nothing inside me changes, my mental state appears to be quite safe and sound, and whether I’m shackled or not, have bedbugs or not, sit in a cold and dark cell, can’t read and write, hear nothing from you and wind up getting shouted at, beheaded, or hanged, one thing will remain as is: I know exactly where I am firmly anchored: above and beside me. Over the course of these past few weeks, I’ve come to find anything else—or so I think and hope—utterly unimportant. On this issue, have a look at the end of the first passage from the Epistle to the Romans on my slip of paper. Nor do I think that I’m somehow overstating things here; on the contrary, I feel quite balanced, and find that this balance has now grown quite naturally rather than being artificially cultivated. If this weren’t the case, I’d be much more worried about you, my love. But where in all this is the first and most natural thought of a devoted husband and father, to speak in the style of an obituary? It is simply not there; instead, every thought of the three of you lends me support and strength, and for this I cannot thank the Lord enough, and you through Him.—My love, I think everything’s been said, even though nothing has yet been said. Needless to say, I was happy about the things you sent; that is like a warm ray of sunshine. All of them are really useful and actually necessary, because there’s not enough food here, to say nothing of the days I’m interrogated, when I sometimes get no food at all. I smuggled a can of sardines from Ravensbrück, which I kept as my reserve fund, and I still have it. Maybe Neuhaus will arrange for you to be able to leave a few cans at the Meinekestrasse offices and I can then take them with me in my bag. Fat and sugar are sorely lacking. The midday mush is tolerable and not repellent; the bread is always dry and acceptable. You just can’t let yourself get sick. Obviously there is nothing fresh, and no protein. That’s why sugar is in such demand and, to some extent, even necessary, because a good deal can actually depend on whether you have a full stomach at the trial or you’re hungry and shaky.—I’m curious how the village takes the news about my arrest. Make it clear that I have no direct connection to July 20th, and was only dragged into it by friends. My love, you can be absolutely certain of one thing: If the Lord wishes to preserve me, He will preserve me, no matter how hopeless the situation might appear; if He wishes to call me to Him, it will ultimately come to pass, regardless of whether it happens along the elaborate path by way of Herr Freisler or in a direct manner. All of you are in His hands just as surely as I am, and we will want to take what we have learned from this time into a more distant future or a different existence.—Just let everyone help you in everything, and don’t hold back. We can fall back on a treasure trove of love and friendship, and that’s what we should be doing. Just don’t accept all kinds of advice from everyone; instead, rely on one person for certain questions, and on another for different ones, and don’t be sparing with money or other resources. In this case, failing to do everything would mean tempting God, not relying on Him.

  I figure that the time frame will be as follows: By the middle of next week at the earliest, the Security Service’s final report will be filed. From that point on it generally takes three weeks until the trial. They could also hold it up by bringing me in for additional questioning, or the three-week period could also be prolonged as a result of the large number of cases on the docket. It is also possible, though, that I have now risen to a level of relative prominence and will therefore move up in line, but that can’t make much difference. Originally I was supposed to appear in the first civilian trial, with Goerdeler–Hassell. The fact that I was taken off that slate and won’t be part of the trade union trial20 either—which they told me next—is an indication of a slight improvement in my status. Last week I made a very risky statement,21 which, in turn, could either improve or worsen things. With so much material from the interrogations, combined with the possibility that Neuhaus takes an interest in me, all of that can take a good deal longer and drag on for months, and to a certain extent, the later my case is heard, the more promising the outlook. That, in any event, is how I judge the situation.

  Tegel prison: View from a cell in 1944

  How nice that you have such a source of support in little Konrad. I hope that continues to be the case. Say hello to them all for me, my love—and what should I say about you. Nothing at all. J.

  Another two clothes hangers, please. One trouser hanger, one pair of shoe trees, shoe-cleaning kit, one pillowcase, one towel, salt.

  Incidentally, I said that Peter and I had a very clear agreement that Goerdeler’s undertaking had to be prevented by all available means, and if there was no way around it, it would have to be reported to the authorities.

  1. Security policy academy in Drögen, their meeting place during Helmuth’s incarceration at the Ravensbrück concentration camp.

  2. On August 19, 1944, Helmuth’s status as a privileged Schutzhäftling, a prisoner in “protective custody,” was revoked, after which he was no longer entitled to write or receive letters.

  3. Helmuth’s sister, Asta Maria Wendland.

  4. Ulla Oldenbourg, a friend whose prayers Helmuth valued highly.

  5. Carl Friedrich Goerdeler was the prospective head of the government if the plot to kill Hitler had succeeded.

  6. Peter Graf Yorck von Wartenburg, with whom Helmuth created the Kreisau Circle.

  7. He is referring to the Kreisau Circle discussions that took place in Kreisau and Berlin and the plans for a new Germany. This is the first of numerous mentions of the place with different connotations.

  8. The National Socialists regarded a lack of faith in a final victory as a serious offense.

  9. Helmuth was first taken into “protective custody” on January 19, 1944, in connection with Otto Carl Kiep’s arrest; see Editors’ Introduction.

  10. Carlo Mierendorff, a leading Social Democrat and Nazi opponent who died in a 1943 air raid.

  11. Franz Rehrl, an Austrian politician who had been considered for a role in government in the event of a successful coup.

  12. Peter Yorck, in close collaboration with Count Claus Schenk Graf von Stauffenberg, decided to join the attempt to assassinate Hitler on July 20, 1944. At this point, Helmuth was already incarcerated at Ravensbrück; see Editors’ Introduction.

  13. The attorney Rudolf Dix.

  14. Herbert Lange and Walter Huppenkothen, Gestapo officers, had overseen Helmuth’s interrogations in Drögen. In the letters, the government agency is generally designated as “Prinz-Albrecht-Str.,” the Gestapo headquarters.

  15. That is, the Gestapo, whose offices in this case were at Meinekestrasse 10. It soon proved possible for food supplies to be brought directly to Helmuth at Tegel prison.

  16. The president of the People’s Court, Roland Freisler.

  17. Ernst Lautz.

  18. Helmuth’s uncle Carl Viggo von Moltke. Though pro-Nazi he helped his nephew during this period in every way.

  19. Gustav Adolf Steengracht von Moyland, the secretary of state in the Foreign Office.

  20. Goerdeler was sentenced on September 8, 1944, but not executed until February 2, 1945. Ulrich von Hassell was also sentenced on September 8, 1944, and executed the very same day. The Social Democrats Adolf Reichwein, Julius Leber, and Hermann Maass were sentenced and executed on October 20, 1944.

  21. The reference is probably t
o an interrogation that took place in the last week of September; see the following letter of October 1, 1944.

  HELMUTH JAMES TO FREYA, OCTOBER 1, 1944

  Berlin, 1 Oct 1944

  My dear love, my Pim, my little one, your letter1 strengthened and delighted me beyond compare. If you say you’re like a plant, I have to bow down humbly before this plant, which has never strayed or erred when it mattered. I had no doubt that you would find what is right, but it gives me strength to know it for a fact.—Yes, my love, our life is at an end. Not until this year did I learn to be fully grateful for this life. How was it possible for me not to have known it always? Mami and you have guided me from the womb to my grave, and I haven’t known a single cold, loveless hour in my entire life. I’m joined to you, my love, by a bond that is so much firmer, deeper, and more enduring than I ever dreamed possible. Now I know it. And you, too, know what a gift of grace this is, my love. I can only wish for you that in the span of time that may still be granted to you, you don’t lose hold of this feeling of our belonging together. It is a gift from our Father, and may He keep it forever unaltered within you. I hope and believe, my love, that the little sons, our little sons, will thrive under your care. They should be a real comfort to you, but you know full well that the true bringer of comfort lives above us and that He can provide the only true and enduring comfort.—I’ve already told you that I’m not worried about your, and the little sons’, mental and physical well-being. I hope that you will remain close to Lionel [Curtis] and Julian [Frisby] and Nan [Petronella van Heerden]2 so that they, too, may benefit from Mami’s cultural heritage. But there is one thing you must know, my love: All decisions are now yours alone, and you mustn’t feel bound in any way by wishes I might express; that would be utterly wrong.

  We both knew that this price might have to be paid. I don’t find it so easy to pay, because it is being demanded in apparent relation to a matter I can only disapprove of. After two nights of suffering this disjointedness within me, I said some things at night on the following day, when I was taken in at 10, that would have been better left unsaid, better for myself and for others. I was able to defend matters relating to Kreisau only by abandoning my positions as to what I knew about Goerdeler’s machinations, and I did so far too thoroughly, which will likely result in the official verdict being built on what I said. I want you to know that, because this matter could come up later at some point and not be understood.3 I made a mistake, without a doubt, not in bad faith but rather in my reduced powers of resistance.—It certainly did nothing to alter the outcome for me, as they kept talking about the “Kreisau Circle” and the “Moltke Group,” which made it clear what was going to become of me. It’s just that I would rather go to my death if the formal reason reflected my own thoughts.