With Me Now Read online

  “Can you see them?” Mike drove past the parking area, stopping the Jeep as close to the summer kitchen as he could without actually pulling onto the grass. “Or just hear them?”

  “Both.” She felt the panic building in her chest, fear shooting down her arms like rain down a window. “I’m not sure I can do this.”

  “I’m right here.” He turned the Jeep off, leaving the key in the ignition, and then took her other hand in his. “But if you really don’t want to go any farther, we won’t. It’s your call.”

  She swallowed hard. “I’m okay.”

  He squeezed her hands. “If at any point you want to stop, just say so and I’ll get you out of here.”

  “Okay.”

  She slid out of the Jeep and eased the door closed, being careful not to slam it or make any more noise than needed. Eyes were watching her; she could feel them in the darkness. There was movement on the farm, the residual imprints that replayed like a broken record, but there were other intelligent spirits in the dark. They knew she could feel their presence and it seemed like they were waiting. Watching.

  Fumbling her way around the Jeep, she grabbed onto Mike’s arm and shuffled through the grass next to him, sticking as close as she could without actually having him carry her. She could hear Liam tramping in the grass on the other side of him. The summer kitchen loomed in front, a squat shaped building barely visible against the trees at the rear of the property.

  From behind them, in the general direction of the bank barn, a loud slam echoed through the night air. Madison jumped, stumbling backwards into Mike. “You heard that, right?”

  “Jesus Christ.” Liam hissed. “Did that come from the barn?”

  “It could have been, or maybe from the main road.” Mike didn’t sound convincing. “It was probably the main road. Just keep walking.”

  Stone pavers in the ground seemed like a path, leading around the outside well and to the door of the summer kitchen. Mike pulled a key out of his pocket and jammed it into the padlock, flicking his wrist and deftly unlocking it. He opened the door, hesitating before finally stepping inside. “You guys are freaking me out.”

  The floor of the summer kitchen was modern hardwood, the interior walls white painted plaster. The far corner of the room had once been a fireplace and part of the plaster had fallen from the interior, revealing decayed red bricks. The dig equipment was stored inside the kitchen: two sifters and a myriad of shovels and trays were stacked against the wall nearest the door.

  It was colder inside the kitchen than it should have been.

  “Supposedly Confederate General Armistead died in here.” Liam slunk inside, pulling her in after him. “I once read that a park maintenance worker walked in here and saw him, leaning against the wall and looking out the window toward the bank barn.”

  “Stop it, Liam.” Mike swung the door shut. “Okay, Maddy, this is your show. What do we do?”

  “Did you bring the glass, Liam?”

  “What do you take me for?” He handed her the drinking glass.

  “Okay, so, granted all I know about glass divination I learned from the internet. The theory behind it is that our combined spiritual energy will magnify his and…and assuming that’s correct, he’ll be able to speak louder or be more physical. In most cases, spirits can’t audibly speak, but they can manipulate lights or knock to respond to yes or no questions. I brought my cell phone because, I figured, maybe he could press the button and turn the light on to answer us.”

  Liam sat crossed legged on the floor. “You’ve talked to him before, so why can’t we just assume he’ll talk back?”

  “I’m not getting my hopes up.” Madison sank to her knees on the floor, setting the glass upside down on the hardwood. The cloud cover had parted significantly, the moonlight illuminated the floor just enough so they could see what they were doing. “We just need to put our fingertips on the glass, like this.” She rested the tips of her fingers on the flat, smooth glass bottom.

  Mike sat next to her and leaned forward, doing the same.

  Liam scooted into the circle. “Like a Ouija Board.”

  “Yeah, but instead of spelling stuff out, the theory is the spirit can move the glass.” She shrugged. “God, I feel like an idiot.”

  “Just do it.” Mike prompted. “You’re not an idiot. We’re with you on this, right Liam?”

  “Right. Totally onboard.”

  Madison took a deep breath. “Close your eyes and try to empty your mind, directing your energy to where your fingertips meet the glass. Just relax. Listen. Don’t talk and just…we’ll see what happens.”

  She closed her own eyes and forced herself to relax, physically quieting the muscles in her body as she focused her mind on the glass. “We’re here, Ben. We want to talk to you.”

  Nothing.

  She inhaled cold air into her lungs until they burned and then slowly exhaled. “I know you’re here, Ben. I can feel you. Let us know you’re here…knock on the walls or move the glass.”

  The glass slid to the side, jerking across the dusty hardwood.

  “Liam, did you do that?” Mike muttered.

  “No.”

  Madison’s heart pounded. “Who was buried in the grave in the woods?”

  Silence.

  “Can you knock on the wall if you can hear me?” She sighed. “I know you can hear me, Ben. I know you’re there, why won’t you talk to us? Use us somehow, if you have to, but I need to know Ben. I need to know who she was. You led me to her, but why?”

  The silence burned her ears. The glass moved slowly from one side to the other, but more like the lazy movements of someone playing with it, not trying to communicate.

  She took another deep breath, forcing her breathing to become slow and even. Getting irritated wasn’t going to get him to talk to her. “Talk to me, Ben. Please, I need to know who she was…who she was to you. I’m going to open my eyes. If you can, hit the button on my cell phone to turn it on. Let me know you’re there.”

  She opened her eyes and looked at the cell phone. Nothing.

  Out of the corner of her eye, she caught movement in the dark. She looked up; he was standing in the doorway, as if he’d just stepped through the closed door and had stopped to look at them. His eyes were fixed on her frame and he drifted in like an afterthought, slowly circling behind Mike and Liam.

  Madison.

  “Ben?” She looked up into his eyes. He seemed so clear—so vibrant and real—and she could easily make out his features. Large blue eyes, a thin patchy beard across his chin, hollow cheeks. “I can…I can see you.”

  He watched her. Silent.

  She was vaguely aware of Mike’s voice, as if he were speaking to her, and in that flicker of inattention Ben’s figure wavered. Madison stared at him, focusing on his shape, as if the harder she tried to see him, the more he could draw from her. “I want to know. Tell me what happened.”

  He stared at her, but took a step closer. Can you hear me?

  “I can always hear you. Why?”

  My soul is bound to yours. He sank to his knees beside her and held his hand up as if he might touch her. And always will be.

  “Why me?” Everything around her seemed faded, washed out. The more she concentrated, the closer he seemed, but the further reality drifted away.

  “Why not you?” His lips moved as he spoke and she could hear him. His voice wasn’t in her head now, it was real. It was audible in her ears, his breath soft against her face. “You’re the only one who heard me. You’re the only one who can help.”

  “I found her. Who was she? You know how she got here, I know you do. Let me help her, too.”

  “She’s always had rest, always had peace while I remained. I was the last who knew.” He touched his hand to her cheek, cradling her face in his hand. “Until you.”

  The warmth of his touch was startling. She could barely hear the whisper of the present, of Mike’s voice, but the desire to focus on it was gone. “Please tell me, Ben. Please
.”

  “The circle will break, my time is short.” He edged closer, his hand firm on her cheek. “Do you trust me?”

  “Yes.”

  He leaned closer, as if he was going to kiss her, but instead touched his forehead to hers. His skin felt so real against hers, his body so close. He sighed and as he did, her breath caught in her throat. It was like she’d caught his sigh inside her, holding his last breath in her lungs. He was against her, inside her. Her eyelids felt heavy.

  “Trust me.”

  She let them close.

  They reopened. She was vaguely aware it wasn’t the physical act of opening her eyes. Instead, it was something inside her mind switching on, strengthened by her connection with Ben.

  He was standing next to her now, protectively holding onto her hand. He was dressed in light blue wool trousers and a stained white linen shirt. Despite the Union kepi on his head and leather cartridge box around his waist, he wasn’t how she pictured a soldier to look.

  He turned and looked at her, almost sheepishly, responding as if she’d asked him out loud. “It was hot in July.”

  “Where are we?” The landscape was unfamiliar, an overgrown hillside sloping down in front of them. There was a structure off to one side and in front of her, she gradually became aware of a constant flow. Movement; the marching of an Army.

  “It’s the last thing I remember.” He watched them walk. The pace seemed so frantic, so hurried, but they moved so slowly. “We’d marched so long. So far. She always fell behind.”

  “Who?” Madison watched a soldier stop next to her, aim his rifle, and fire.

  “I don’t know her name.” He nodded toward a solitary soldier, smaller than many of the men running past. “She had few friends among us.”

  It registered that his statement should make sense, but she couldn’t remember why. The battle around her seemed clear, but faded, like an old reel movie projector sputtering to a stop. “Were you her friend?”

  He was silent for a beat. “It felt like our lines were falling apart here. The hill was steep. If you ran too fast, you’d fall. Our artillery was behind us. I couldn’t hear anything.”

  “Who was she?”

  “She was brave. She kept to herself, so we wouldn’t know her secret.” He hesitated. “But they knew. They figured it out.”

  Madison watched the woman quickly reload her musket, jamming the ramrod into the barrel to tamp down the round. Her back was to them, so she couldn’t see the woman’s face.

  “When they found out, they forced themselves on her. One held her down and covered her mouth. They took turns.” His voice broke and he stopped talking, staring forward at the delicate, but tenacious soldier in front of them. “I found her afterwards.”

  Madison could see him in battle, not far from the woman. He was dressed in life as he was beside her in death. No jacket, no vest, just calculated firing and reloading his rifle. He was quick. Accurate.

  “She was going to bring them up on charges of rape.” His voice was quiet. “But then we got moved forward and the battle blew up in front of us like two colliding steam engines.”

  “She was killed.”

  He shook his head. “They found out.”

  “That she was going to tell?”

  “I don’t know how, but they did.” He spoke quickly. Madison could feel urgency around her, something tugging on her. They were running out of time. “I can’t remember them, their faces. It’s always been her. Always. Until you.”

  He touched her face with his free hand and guided it forward. A soldier was making his way to the woman, his gait confident. Determined. As he drew closer, he lifted his musket and leveled at the girl’s back.

  He fired.

  The bullet impacted low on the back of her neck—thoracic spine 2 and 3—and she pitched forward. Madison flinched, crying out as the girl fell face first into the ground.

  The faceless soldier pressed on, kicking her shattered frame as he passed.

  Madison looked at Ben. His large eyes seemed to brim with tears, his forehead creased in obvious despair. She turned back to the battle in front of them. The living Ben had seen what happened to the woman. He ran to her, crossing in front of men, weaving in between firing soldiers to reach her side.

  But then he stopped. He stumbled.

  “No.” The words slipped out of her mouth before she could stop them. She realized what was happening.

  He righted himself, his hand clutching his throat. With each step, blood oozed between his fingers. It coated his neck like paint, dripping down the front of his shirt. He sank to his knees beside the woman and let go of his neck, trying to pull her backwards. With each exertion, blood pulsed from his throat. Blood was everywhere. He pulled her, dragging her with his fading strength toward the rear. His blood flowed freely now. It dripped down onto her motionless body.

  He stumbled and sank down onto his elbow; the blood flow seemed slower now. He rolled to his back and stared up at the sky, his arm reaching up to passing soldiers. Trying to stop them, trying to wave someone down to help him.

  She heard him speak next to her. “I met death faster because I tried to save her.”

  A soldier stopped next to the crumpled figures on the ground. Madison saw him lean closer to Ben, no doubt in an effort to hear a voice that was rapidly fading. The soldier grasped the woman underneath her armpits and began dragging her to the rear.

  Madison looked at her Ben. “But we found her body. She didn’t live.”

  The battle seemed to melt away in front of them, replaced by an open field shrouded in darkness. The echoes of gunfire were silent.

  “No, she didn’t.” Ben’s voice was barely above a whisper. “But they did. I watched them follow the hospital wagon to the farm. I left my body on the hill and followed them here. And here I stayed.”

  Madison watched a faceless soldier emerge from the shadows. He dragged a body to a pit, unceremoniously kicking it over the edge. Another soldier dropped the gum blanket over the body, pushing the canvas around her thin shoulders and legs. Together, the men began filling in the hole.

  Ben’s voice sounded far away. “I was alone until I found you.”

  The landscape around them changed. Trees grew while others faded away. She saw herself walk past the buried woman, glancing over her shoulder as she spoke to the man behind her.

  Mike.

  “Madison.”

  She looked up at Ben again, but it was hard to see him. “Ben? Don’t leave me.”

  His hand was on her cheek again. “There’s one more thing. You must—”

  She could still feel his touch, but his face was fading. “Must what? Ben? Ben!”

  “Madison.” Ben’s voice melted away, replaced by a voice that seemed familiar. She couldn’t place it. “Madison.”

  Blue eyes faded to brown. His touch was so warm, still so real.

  “Madison, look at me.”

  She squeezed her eyes shut and then opened them, rapidly blinking to try and clear the haze. Ben’s face was replaced by Mike. He was gone.

  Mike cradled her face, pressing the pads of his fingertips into her temple. “That’s a girl. Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine.” Her eyes clouded with tears and she couldn’t hold them back. They spilled freely over her cheeks. She struggled upright into a sitting position and covered her face with her hands. “I’m sorry, I have no idea what happened. I…I can’t stop crying.”

  “Hey, baby, it’s okay.” Mike leaned over and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her to him. “You were in some kind of trance or something. You just faded out right in front of us. I couldn’t get you to wake up.”

  “I saw what happened.” She glanced from him to Liam. “I could see him as clearly as I can see you. He was wearing light blue pants and a white shirt with suspenders. His kepi had a red crescent moon badge on the side. He had…he had a cartridge box on a leather belt around his waist. And she was there, too, they were in battle together. She was murdered.”r />
  “Murdered?” Liam sounded skeptical.

  “Ben said other soldiers found out she was a woman and raped her. She was going to bring them up on charges, but they were called into battle before she could. One of them just walked up behind her and shot her.” She looked down at her hands. “Ben was hit too. He died on the field.”

  “Which field?” Mike tipped her chin up so he could look at her. He didn’t look judgmental or critical. He looked almost like…he believed her.

  “I haven’t the faintest idea. It was a hillside.” She frowned, trying to remember the faded images in her mind. “There was a building off to one side; it looked like it was shaped like a thick H.”

  Mike was quiet for several moments. Finally, he said, “Cemetery Hill. You saw the entrance to Evergreen Cemetery.”

  “He said the men survived the fight and followed the hospital wagons back here. They buried her and thought they got away with it. But Ben knew—and now I know.”

  Liam and Mike were silent. Finally, Liam said, “But I’m not sure you can prove it.”

  “We might be able to narrow down who Ben was, if we dig into regimental records and see who was listed as killed in action here,” Mike said slowly, “but do you even know what company he was in? He was in the 11th Corps, a red crescent on his kepi means he was probably first division, but…if we don’t know much more than that, it’s going to be hard. Extremely hard, I mean, you’re looking at thousands of men. We only know his first name.”

  “And he didn’t know her name.” Madison sighed. For as much as she now knew, she still felt lost. “No one knew her real name, maybe the male alias she used, but unless a miracle happened, I’m not sure we’ll ever really know who she was.”

  “Did he say anything about her? Where she came from?” Mike chewed on his lower lip. “Did he mention a town or an area they might have come from?”

  “He just said she was brave.” Tears welled up in her eyes again; she tried to blink them back. “And…there was something else.”

  Mike looked at her.

  “Right before I came to, he said there was something else. It seemed important. He tried to tell me but I woke up too fast.” Madison squeezed her eyes closed and tried to think. “The last thing I heard was ‘you must’. I have no idea what that even meant.”