Norwegian Wood Vol 2 Read online

  ly sorry. And every time she said that, I told her

  not to worry, I remember. "

  Reiko tapped her cigarette ash onto the floor by

  18

  her feet. I set aside my grapes and gave my full attention to her story.

  "Soon enough the girl began crying.

  "'What's wrong?' I asked her.

  " 'Oh nothing,' she said.

  " 'Can't be nothing. Tell the truth,' I said.

  " 'Sometimes I just get this way. I can't help it. I

  get so lonely and miserable, with no one to lean on,

  no one who even cares about me. It's awful. I can't

  sleep at night, hardly have any appetite. The only

  thing that keeps me going is coming here to your

  place. '

  " 'Well then, why don't you tell me what's troubling you? I'll listen.'

  "So she tells me how there's troubles in the family. How she doesn't love her parents and how her parents don't love her. The father has another

  woman and hardly comes home at all, which makes

  her mother go half-crazy and take it out on her,

  beating her nearly every day. It's tough fc;>r her to

  face going home. And then she starts sobbing, tears

  welling up in those lovely eyes. Even God would

  melt to see her like that. So I tell her, if it's so hard

  on her going home, she's welcome to drop by even

  when she doesn't have a lesson. She kneels before

  me and begs my forgiveness, saying she'd be utterly

  lost if it wasn't for me. Saying, don't forsake her. If!

  were to forsake her, she'd have nowhere to go.

  19

  "Now there wasn't much I could do but take her

  in my arms and stroke her head, 'There, there.'

  And in no time at all the girl has her arm around

  me and is stroking my back. When a strange feeling

  started to come over me. Like I was lit by a flame. I

  mean there I am, in bed with a girl pretty as a picture, with her arms around me, holding me, stroking me, and unbelievably sensual, too. My husband couldn't even come close. With each pass of her

  hand she pulled out my stops. I felt like my body

  was coming undone, she was that good. Before I

  knew it, she'd removed my blouse, unfastened my

  bra and was caressing my breasts. That's when I

  finally realized, the girl was a through-and-through

  lesbian. I' cl had a similar experience once before,

  back in high school, with an upper-class girl. I

  couldn't take it, I just couldn't. I told her to stop.

  "'Please. Just a little. I'm so lonely. No lie, I'm

  lonely as can be. I've got no one but you. Don't

  leave me like this.' Then the girl takes my hand and

  places it on her breasts. Incredibly well-formed

  breasts. Just to touch them, the sensation that shot

  through me! Even as a woman. I didn't know what

  to do. I kept saying, no, no, no, it's no good, this is

  insane. But somehow my body wouldn't move. In

  high school I'd managed to shake things off fine,

  but this time there was nothing doing. My body

  was out of control. The girl held my hand in her

  20

  left hand and pressed it against her breasts, while

  she licked and gently nibbled at my nipples, and

  caressed my back and sides and rear with her right

  hand. Stripped bare by a thirteen-year-old girl in a

  curtained room-clothes were just slipping off layer

  by layer at that point-fondled and ignited, it's incredible just to think of it now. It was crazy. But at the time it was as if I was under a spell. The girl

  was sucking at my nipples, saying, 'I'm lonely, I've

  got no one but you, don't leave me, I'm so lonely,'

  on and on. And me, it was no, no, no .. . . "

  Reiko stopped talking to take a puff on her

  cigarette.

  "You know, this is the first time I've ever spoken

  about it to a man," said Reiko, looking me in the

  face. "I guess it's all right, telling you all this, even if

  I'm thoroughly embarrassed by the whole affair. "

  "I'm sorry," I said. Other than that, I had no idea

  what to say.

  "Well, we kept at it for a while and her right

  hand starts moving down my body. And she starts

  playing through my panties. By then I was already

  gushing wet down there. Talk about embarrassing.

  Nev�r had I been so wet, before or after. When it

  comes to it, I'd never thought much of myself on

  the sexual side. So when I found myself coming like

  that, I must admit I was dumbfounded. Then she

  reaches inside my panties with soft, delicate fingers,

  2 1

  like . . . well, I'm sure you can imagine. I could never

  begin to tell you, not in the least. All I can say is, it

  was worlds apart from being fondled by a man. It

  was incredible. I mean it. Like being tickled with a

  feather. I felt a fuse was going to blow in my head.

  Still, somewhere through the fog my mind was

  flashing, this is wrong. Do this once and there's no

  telling where things'll end up, not to mention that

  a secret like this floating around in my head was

  bound to screw up the works. Then I thought

  about my child. If she caught us like this, that'd be

  the end of everything. Saturdays she was at my

  folks' until around three o'clock, but what if she

  came home unexpectedly? That'd be it. That's

  when I summoned up all my strength to get up and

  shout, 'Stop it, please! '

  "But the girl wouldn't stop. She already had my

  panties off and was going down on me. I'd always

  been too shy to even let my husband do that to me,

  and here was this thirteen,year,old girl lapping me

  up. It was too much for me. I burst into tears. The

  sensation was just so heavenly.

  " 'Stop it!' I yelled again and slapped the girl on

  the cheek. No holds barred. Only then did she lay.

  off. She sat up at once and stared at me. The both

  of us, stark naked, sitting on the bed, staring at

  each other. The girl, thirteen years old and me, thir,

  ty,one. But the girl's development, her physique,

  22

  was literally stunning. I still can't believe it. Next to

  hers, mine was but the flimsiest excuse for a body. I

  could almost cry. Honestly. "

  There was nothing for me to say, so I said

  nothing.

  "So then the kid asks me what we ought to do.

  'You do enjoy this, don't you, Teach? I knew it all

  along. You like it, right?' She could tell about these

  things. That it was much better than with a man.

  Just look how wet I was. And she'd do me lots better, too. She'd have me melting, she'd do me so good. What could I say? The trouble was she was

  perfectly right. It was lots better than with my husband. Oh, I did indeed want more of the same. But

  as much as I did, it was absolutely out of the question. 'How about if we do this once a week? Who's to know? It'll be our little secret, Teach, ' she told

  me.

  "I got up and slipped on a bathrobe, told her to

  go home and never show her face at my door again.

  But the girl just looked at me. And as she looked,

  her eyes went flat as never before, flat as if they

  were paint
ed in poster colors. No depth at all. She

  stared at me like that for the longest time, then

  gathered· up her clothes and put them on slowly,

  one by one, almost showing off. Then she returned

  to the living room where the piano was, took a hairbrush out of her bag and proceeded to brush her 23

  hair, wiped the blood from her lips with a handkerchief, put on her shoes, and stepped out the door.

  And as she left, her parting words were, 'You know

  you're a lesbian, really. No matter how much you

  try to kid yourself, you will be until the day you

  die. ' "

  "And are you?" I thought to ask.

  Reiko curled her lip and thought it over a while.

  "Yes and no. True, I did come better with this girl

  than with my husband. Which is why I was seriously concerned for a while, understandably, that

  maybe I really was a lesbian. But lately, I've come

  around to thinking differently. Of course, I don't

  say that I don't have that tendency in me. Very probably it is there. But that doesn't make me a lesbian, not in any strict sense of the word. It's not like I actively go out of my way to have relations with girls.

  Reasonable enough?"

  I nodded.

  "Still, certain girls do come on to me and the

  come-ons do get to me. Then and only then does

  that side of me come out. That's why when I hold

  Naoko, for instance, I don't feel anything of the

  kind. When it gets hot, we walk around practical,1y

  naked here at home and we take baths together

  besides. Sometimes we even sleep under the covers

  together, but nothing happens. I don't feel anything special. She has a beautiful body and all, but,

  well, that's all there is to it. Though we did once

  play at being lesbians, Naoko and me. Not that I'd

  imagine you'd want to hear. "

  "No, please tell me. "

  "Well, when I told her about all this-we tell

  each other everything-Naoko petted me a few

  strokes here and there, just to see. Both of us

  naked. But no go. Zilch. It just tickled, so much I

  thought I'd die. It still gives me tingles just thinking

  about it. I mean she was so clumsy at it. Relieved?"

  "To be honest, yes," I said.

  "That is pretty much how it went," said Reiko,

  scratching her eyebrow with her little finger. "After

  the girl left, I just sat there in a chair, spaced out, at

  a loss what to do. I could hear my heartbeat echoing, b-boom, b-boom, from way down inside me, my

  limbs weighted down, mouth all dusty like I'd been

  eating moths or something. But my child would be

  coming home soon, so I decided to take a bath. For

  what it was worth, I thought I'd wash down the

  body the girl had stroked and licked and sucked.

  But no matter how hard I scrubbed with soap and

  water, I couldn't get rid of the slimy feeling. Probably it was all in my head, but that didn't make any difference. In any case, that night, I had my

  husband make love to me. Thought I'd shed the

  dirt that way. Of course, I didn't tell him anything.

  How could I? I just asked him to make love to me

  25

  and he did. Take your time, I said, do it slower than

  you usually do. And he did, nice and slow, taking

  his time. And you know what? I really came, right

  on target. Zweeee! The first time ever like that in

  my married life. And why do you think? It was

  because that girl's touch was still on me. That's all

  there was to it. Hey, now that's embarrassing. I'll

  break out sweating, all this talk of 'doing' and 'coming,' " laughed Reiko, curling her lip again. "It lasted for two, maybe three days, that girl's touch.

  But, you know, everything went dead again. And

  then it was her departing line that kept echoing in

  my head.

  "The following Saturday the girl didn't show.

  Not that I expected she would, although I admit I

  was a little anxious staying around the house, in

  case on some outside chance she did come. I

  couldn't get myself to concentrate on anything. But

  she didn't come. She had her pride, and given the

  way things turned out, she didn't come. Not that

  week, nor the following, nor the next. A whole

  month went by. I thought that in time I'd forget all

  about it, but it wasn't so easy. All alone at home, I

  felt like I was haunted by her presence. It was unsettling. I couldn't play piano, couldn't get down to anything. Things went on like that for a month, until one day it struck me. I got the strangest feelings as I was out walking. The neighbors were all acting

  Z6

  odd toward me. The way they looked at me was all

  distant, estranged. Naturally they greeted me, but

  their tone of voice, their manner, was somehow different. Even the neighbor lady who'd come over on

  occasion I swear was avoiding me. Still, I tried not

  to let it get to me. Letting that kind of stuff get to

  you is an early symptom of sickness.

  "One day a housewife I was on good terms with

  came to call. The same age as I, she was the

  daughter of a friend of my mother, and our kids

  played together at nursery school, so we were

  reasonably close. The woman appeared without

  warning and asked whether I knew there was a

  rumor going around about me. I said no, I didn't

  know.

  " 'What sort of rumor?'

  " 'What sort? Well, it's really difficult to say. '

  " 'Difficult to say? You've brought yourself this

  far, come out with it. '

  "With grave reservations, she told me the whole

  story. I mean she herself had come to talk in the

  first place, right? As it turned out, rumor had it

  that I'd been in and out of mental hospitals and

  labeled a bona fide homosexual, and that I'd had

  my way with the girl who came for piano lessons,

  stripped her naked and ravished her, beating her

  until her face swelled when she resisted. The story

  was turned rather skillfully topsy-turvy, but how

  27

  on earth did she ever know I'd been hospitalized?

  That's what shocked me.

  " 'Now I've known you from way back, enough

  to know you're not like that, and I tell people that,'

  she said. 'But let me warn you, the girl's parents

  believe it and they're spreading the word. That you

  took advantage of their daughter, and, moreover,

  when they had you investigated, they found you

  had a psychiatric record. '

  "According t o her, one day-the day of the

  fateful event-the girl came home from her piano

  lesson all teary-eyed, and her mother asked her

  what was wrong. The girl's face was swollen, lip

  bleeding, a button missing from her blouse, her

  undergarments torn in places. I mean, can you

  believe it? Naturally the girl had fabricated all that

  to back up her story. Put blood on her blouse,

  ripped the lace of her bra, worked herself up into

  tears to get her eyes good and red, tousled her hair,

  then went back home to spill three bucketsful of

  lies. I could just picture it.

  "But what was I supposed to do, take everyone to

  task who believ
ed the kid? I'm sure I would have

  believed her if I were in their place. A doll of a devil

  like that comes crying, 'No, no, I refuse to tell, it's

  too embarrassing, ' and no wonder people were

  bowled over. And to make matters worse, I did

  have a history of mental hospitals, didn't I? I did hit

  28

  her in the face, didn't I? Who would possibly listen

  to me? Probably only my husband.

  "After pondering the situation for a few days I

  decided to tell my husband, and he did believe me,

  of course. I mean I told him everything. How I'd

  been lured into something nearly lesbian and

  ended up hitting her. Needless to say, I didn't tell

  him how turned on I'd been. That would have been

  too much, even considering. He was infuriated.

  'This is no game. I ought to pay that family a visit

  and give them a piece of my mind.' Here I was, married to him, with a child, so why put up with this lesbian nonsense?

  "Nonetheless, I stopped him. I told him not to

  go. Told him that would only drag us in deeper. I

  could see it coming. The kid's just sick in her mind.

  Her body's rotted through to the core. Beneath

  that beautiful skin, it's all rotten. Maybe that was a

  terrible thing to say, but it was true. Still, who out

  there'd understand that? Come what may, no way

  I'd emerge vindicated. The girl was a champion at

  manipulating adults' feelings, and we were only so

  much raw material to her. First of all, who'd believe

  that a thirteen-year-old girl set up a woman over

  thirty in a homosexual gambit? People are going to

  believe what they want to believe, no matter what.

  We'd only be undermining our own standing the

  more we dug in.

  " 'Let's move,' I told him. 'That's the only thing

  to do. If we stay here any longer, the tension's just

  going to mount and that screw in my head is going

  to spring. Right now I still have some time, but let's

  just move somewhere far away where we don't

  know anyone.' But my husband wasn't about to

  pick up and leave. To begin with, he didn't really

  see the gravity of the situation. His job was right at

  the point of really getting interesting, we'd finally

  managed to buy that little pre-fab of our own, our

  daughter was happily adjusted to nursery school.

  Hey now, not so fast, he said, let's not rush into