Kiss Me Again: a Stepbrother Romance (Second Chances) Read online

  Alison threw up her hands at me in despair.

  “I need to do this Ali. I love my interior decorating work, but it cost me a lot of money to take my exams, and you know I’m still trying to finish my postgrad work off – which means more fees, and more materials for my portfolio work. I am really struggling to make ends meet as it is. If I take any time out right now I will lose everything I have worked so hard for,” I said and sighed.

  “Honey, I know just how hard you work. I see you every night hunched over those books and magazines, sketching and making up mood boards for your classes and your clients, but look at you.” She got up from our battered couch and dragged me to the mirror in the hallway. “Look, you are skin and bones, and have bags under your eyes that a new mom of quintuplets would be proud of.”

  I tried not to look because deep down I knew she was right. I’d been avoiding reflective surfaces for months now. I wasn’t taking care of myself and it showed. My once lustrous and curly auburn hair was tied back in a greasy ponytail. I hadn’t been able to afford to get it cut in over six months. And my clothes were hanging off me. I so rarely found the time during the day to eat at all, let alone make a healthy choice if I did, and my skin looked pale and gray from all the time I spent trapped indoors.

  “Okay, so I’m a bit of a fixer-upper, but couldn’t you have at least let me get fixed before you signed me up to a dating app?”

  “Just take a little look through. You can’t keep mooning over the past and letting it get in the way of your future, Luce.”

  She had never dared to be so blatant before. There had been hints, sure, but she had never come out and said it like that. She was talking about Cole of course. Just one of the taboo subjects around me, and I hated her for making me think about him, about any of that stuff from back then.

  Gorgeous Cole Kent who had made high school bearable, who hadn’t left my side when my mom died of cancer, who had been the cutest and sweetest boy I never got to kiss more than once. My best friend, my rock, and the guy everyone else would have to live up to and never could – right up until he became my stepbrother and my entire world crumbled into dust.

  Alison kissed me on the forehead and pulled on her coat. “Think about it Luce, maybe it’s time to let go of the past and at least have some fun in the present. And don’t yell at me again,” she said hurriedly as she saw me about to try and defend myself. “I know what happened back then, and I know how much it hurt you. But, you can’t let it fester any longer. For God’s sake, get some help, go out on a date or two, and build a life that makes you happy so you can really leave it in the past if that is truly where you want your family to belong. Stop dragging it all around with you like a giant ball and chain all the time. Not for me, but for yourself. You don’t deserve to be so damned unhappy all the time.”

  Her words penetrated my weak defenses. God, I hated it when she was right.

  She opened the door, and looked at me tenderly. “I love you Luce, and you deserve better than you are letting yourself have. I’ve got to go to work, but think about what I’ve said while I’m gone, please?”

  I nodded, but knew that this conversation would be shoved down into the file marked ‘Just Don’t Go There’ in my head, at least not yet.

  I slunk back into the living room, and crashed heavily onto the couch. Thoughts about Cole started to escape the confines of the locked box where I had imprisoned my entire past. I tried to banish them back into the black hole, but the harder I tried the more they just kept bursting like bubbles in front of my tired eyes.

  He had been one of those guys who was just simply perfect. Though deep down inside beat the heart of an all-out geek, he was also a bit of a jock, a swimmer. He had sun-kissed skin all year round from being in the pool every day, his back a perfect V of muscular perfection. His washboard abs made everybody drool.

  All the girls were hot for him, including me, despite his reputation for being super smart and an IT wiz. But, he was also the kindest and sweetest boy alive and my very best friend. God dammit, I missed him so much more than I ever wanted to admit.

  Mom, Dad, and I had been so close. I think when you are an only child – especially one your parents described as a miracle baby following years of struggling to conceive – your relationship with them is much more intense. My mom was the best, and she always had time for me. She encouraged me to develop my love of art and crafts, let me help when she decorated the house, and made me believe that anything was possible if you wanted it badly enough. Dad, a carpenter by trade, taught me how to use hammers and drills, and inspired me to use up any spare wood lying around in the garage to create whatever I wanted.

  Our home was full of laughter, and love. Oh, how I longed to go back to that time, when everything was simple and uncomplicated… and when I had Cole.

  But then the cancer came.

  It permeated every minute of each day, as we watched Mom grow weaker and more unwell. And then she was gone, and I didn’t know what to do anymore. I was a shell, held carefully together by Cole’s tenderness, but then he was taken away from me too.

  All because of my dad and Stephanie, Cole’s Mom.

  Dad was just as lost as I was, and if it hadn’t been for Aunty Steph – who was not really an aunt, she was my Mom’s best friend – I think he would have disappeared wholly into his grief, too. And soon, everything changed; too much and too quick, and there was no way back.

  Ali was right about that. I had to stop letting it take me over; it was in the past and I needed to find a way to make it stay there. Therapy would probably be the best bet, but dating suddenly seemed an easier option and cheaper at that.

  I picked up my cell and clicked on the “Wooed and Won” app Alison had downloaded onto it. I grinned when I saw she had chosen a great picture of me, thank god. It was the one from my graduation from the Rhode Island School of Design. I looked so happy and proud. It was everything I had ever dreamed of, and I had worked so very hard for it – but as I looked closely at the snapshot, my grin faded, and I realized there was a haunted look in my eyes. I remembered seeing my fellow students with their families all around them that day, and having had a tiny pang of regret that my own would never know that I had achieved my dreams. I had convinced myself that it was their loss, but even now I was beginning to think it just might be mine.

  I shook my head free of the memories and flicked the screen nonchalantly, scrolling past the list of names and pictures. I had been so right, and almost exited the app in disgust. Most were either complete sleaze balls or absolute nerds. A plethora of heavy-framed glasses and Lotharios with hairy chests and medallions gazed back at me. I laughed. What was that about in this day and age?

  This was no way to meet the love of your life, like picking out a dress from a catalogue. The analogy made me smile. I so often tried to buy clothes online or from a catalogue because I hated to shop, but I sent most of them back because they just didn’t fit, or weren’t as nice as they’d looked in the pictures. It would appear that online dating would be much the same – yet if these guys looked any worse in the flesh, or were even more boring than their profiles suggested, yikes!

  Just one profile stood out, a man of mystery it would seem. There was no picture, and that should have had me worried. I couldn’t help but wonder why a guy who sounded so confident and happy would leave his picture blank, but “Apollo” had chosen to do so. I rolled my eyes at the screen name he’d given himself, but couldn’t help feel even more intrigued. Maybe he wanted to stand out amongst the crowd, or maybe he was even sadder than the other nerds – and that would be saying something!

  I studied the rest of his profile; it was sweet and engaged. He liked literature, and not just bro action thriller stuff. My eyebrows shot up as I read that he claimed to love Vanity Fair and Wuthering Heights, two of my all-time favorites. But maybe he was just bullshitting.

  He listed that he enjoyed cooking and long walks, as well as being by the sea and water sports as passions. I could do
without the long walks part, but I loved being by the sea. It always brought back happier memories of day trips when I was tiny. Sure he said he loved computers, and that had a few warning signals flashing in my mind, but I tried to remember that Cole had liked computers too, and he had been great in every way. Apollo was even a postgrad like me, though he surprisingly didn’t say what he was studying, just that he was at the university here in Providence.

  I couldn’t help but read his details and think that he sounded too good to be true. I nibbled at my lower lip as my finger hovered over the little contact button.

  There was no harm in at least saying hello, was there?

  3

  Cole

  I jumped three feet in the air as my new cell vibrated loudly in my pocket, bashing my head hard on the roof of the truck. I’d only picked up the new phone yesterday, a little bonus gift from Callie for doing the work on the app, but I hadn’t had the time to work out the most basic of functions on it yet.

  Mom told me to sit down with the manual and work it out, but I had laughed at her – it was such a female thing to do. I’d figure it out. One cell is pretty much like the next after all. I seemed to have lost my gadget obsession as I got older. In the past a new toy would have been dissected in moments, but I was just happy if they did what I needed them to now.

  I rubbed my sore head distractedly as I yanked the phone out of my jeans pocket, struggling to make sure my change didn’t follow it out and all over the floor. I really needed new pants, or to hit the pool a bit more often. Just a few weeks in a demanding desk job, with no time to work out at the gym or the pool, had made me fill out slightly in ways I did not want. Though I was grateful that my torso still remained defined as ever, it wouldn’t take too much to get back into shape.

  The shocking buzzing had heralded the arrival of an email from “Wooed and Won.”

  That will absolutely be the last time I bet on Jake being prepared to eat anything, I thought.

  After eating wings drenched in a cayenne pepper sauce and even a whole basketful of fried locusts, he had balked on a simple green olive. Apparently they were his kryptonite. I was sticking by my side of the deal though, but Callie had predicted pretty accurately that there was indeed an army of people who didn’t have the courage to ask anyone out on a date, and somehow her advertising had found all of them.

  The app wasn’t exactly bursting with gorgeous, smart and sassy women. It was more of a haven for the quiet, clever, and unusual. Weeding out the candidates was proving tough. Sure they were smart, but social skills and hobbies in common seemed to be zilch, nada! I had already been forced to endure three of the worst dates of my entire life. I just had one left to go on and my end of the bet would be held up. I prayed that whoever had mailed me this time would be more interesting than the best of the bunch so far: a thirty-year-old librarian who collected and crocheted doilies.

  Not wanting to crash, I decided to check it out later and jumped out of the cab of my beaten-up old truck and crunched my way up the gravel drive to the back gate.

  The sun was still out, the sky a haze of pinks and darkening oranges as it dipped lower towards the horizon, and that meant that everyone would be out back. They’d enjoying the small swimming pool Tom had managed to get for a huge discount when a client at his work had offered to trade skills. Since its arrival the family had barely been found inside the house, they were so excited to have such a luxury. Tom and my mom were always out on the lounge chairs sipping mojitos most days now. Hopefully there would be a few beers in the cooler too.

  Today was most definitely not a cocktail kind of a day. My mouth watered at the thought of the promise of a crisp cold beer that’d soon be hitting my taste buds. It had been a rough journey home to Newton. The traffic had been insane as I had crossed the border between Rhode Island and Massachusetts, the usual hour-and-a-half trip taking closer to three hours, and after three all-nighters and two weeks of manic days at the office, I was beat.

  My second year as a summer intern at the DA’s office in Providence was proving to be a real eye opener. As an assistant to the Assistant District Attorney I was the lowest of the low, but the experience would look great on my CV. I’d always wanted to be a lawyer, a public defender in fact. I think everyone has the right to a fair trial, and a good defense.

  I was picking up a lot about how to build a solid case, and though I was currently on the “wrong” side, I was learning how to make things tough for your opponents, but it was damn hard work! The office often dealt with some pretty heinous crimes, and we were currently trying to get a guy put behind bars where he belonged after he had brutally attacked a convenience store owner and taken every penny he had. He had a great attorney though, and his minions were making things tough for us, trying to bury us with all kinds of motions and wads of paper a mile high. Coming home on the weekends when I could and being with my family helped me unwind, though it always felt like something, someone, was missing.

  “Cole, will you take me to the zoo tomorrow, please?” Morgan announced. My adorable half-sister emerged from the pool, dripping wet in a bright red bathing suit with an open-mouthed Elmo emblazoned across the front of it. She held her arms up to me, wanting me to pick her up and swing her around.

  “Sure, but don’t you want Mommy and Daddy to take you?”

  She shook her tight curly head at me. “You’re more fun, and you always buy me ice cream,” she said thinking about her answer seriously.

  I couldn’t help but laugh. I hadn’t been sure that I was ready for a new sister at seventeen, but I adored her even though she reminded me so much of her other half-sibling growing up. The same auburn hair, the bubbly personality, the huge, deep green eyes. It was like we still had a little bit of Lucy here with us. The gap could never be filled, but it sure helped having the munchkin around to keep us all busy.

  I picked her up and twirled her round as she giggled maniacally.

  “I’d better go and get changed. I’ll be back in a moment,” I explained as I set her down and her cute Cupid’s bow mouth began to pout. I ruffled her wet hair, and gave her a quick kiss. “I won’t be long.”

  “Promise?” she asked.

  “Cross my heart and hope to die,” I replied without hesitation and stuck out my pinky finger. Morgan quickly shot out her own pinky and wrapped it around mine.

  “Deal,” she said and smiled from ear to ear, revealing her dimples once more and then sprinted as fast as she could back into the pool.

  “Hey Cole,” Mom said warmly as she emerged with a tray filled with iced drinks.

  “They look good,” I said salivating at the sight of the long-necked beer bottles covered in condensation. Mom laughed.

  “How long are you staying this time honey?”

  “Why, do you want to get rid of me already?” I teased her, knowing she would have been happy for all of us to live at home until the day we died.

  “Never, but I know you. You’ll want your space again soon.”

  I had to admit that once Morgan had arrived, as much as I loved her, it had gotten a lot noisier and harder to pay attention to my studies and get anything done at home. When the opportunity came to go to UCLA and then to law school at Roger Williams University on full scholarships, I had jumped at them. UCLA, in particular, had been a long way from home and it had been tough being so far away, but it had meant that while Tom had scoured the East Coast schools for Lucy, I had used my weekends to do the same on the West Coast.

  When I graduated in the top five of my class, I had won a place at Harvard Law which had been a little closer to home, but the fees had been out of my reach, and with all the competition there had been no financial aid. Roger Williams was a bit farther away and obviously hadn’t got anywhere near as good a reputation, but the scholarship and the money I got from the work from Callie and Jake’s company, Glitch, meant I could afford a nice little apartment to myself. It also helped that I wasn’t too far from where they’d set up their offices in Providence. Ha
ving my two best buddies nearby, after two years where the entire continent had separated us for most of the year, was definitely a plus point for Rhode Island.

  Jake thought Rhode Island was the best place in the world, and had missed it while we had all been at UCLA together. He couldn’t wait to get home and when his and Callie’s first collaboration started to make them serious money he jumped at the chance to drop out and head back. It suddenly hit me that Callie must truly love him, otherwise why would the sexy Californian not have insisted that she return to her beachfront home on the West Coast?

  No, she hadn’t even stopped to think about it, had just upped and left to work with him back east. How had I been so blind? Maybe a bit of that vanity again, like Jake I had always assumed that if she had a crush on anyone that it was probably me. Well, I would do a bit of matchmaking when I got back and push the idiots into each other’s arms where they belonged. Looking back over the years of our friendship, I wondered why I hadn’t picked up on it before - there were just so many clues!

  “Just tonight, sadly Mom. I have to get back to the office by Sunday afternoon. We’re having a final strategy meeting before the trial starts on Monday.”

  “Then we had best make the most of you. Go and get changed, you must be sweltering. I’m going to try and tear your sister away from the pool and get her to bed. I only let her stay up this long because she knew you were coming. There was no point in even trying, she would have been escaping every five minutes to see if you were here yet! So, if you hear any screams it’s probably me,” she said.

  “Well don’t make a liar out of me. I promised Morgan I’d be back to play,” I replied.

  “Oh, fine then,” she laughed and rolled her eyes. “She can stay up a while longer. Go get your trunks on.”