Hidden in Smoke Read online

  Digging through my belongings, I pulled out a clean pair of black yoga pants, a purple tank top, some black underwear, and a zipped up hoodie that was black with a subtle dark gray pattern made up of skulls and crossbones. Crossing my fingers, I dug back into my bag and came up with a toothbrush, my hairbrush, and my toiletries bag full of makeup and other essentials. Rini was officially my favorite person.

  Heading next door to the bathroom, I was happy to find the room open. I stepped inside, set my things down, and eyed the shower. Seeing the curtain closed had my anxiety spiking. Michael was still out there, and while I knew he wasn’t actually behind the curtain, adrenaline flooded my system as I gripped the countertop, white knuckling the hard surface. I couldn’t breathe; I hated myself for it. Get a grip, Nix.

  Footsteps on the stairs let me know that someone was on their way up. Damien knocked on the door and slowly opened it, being respectful and speaking through the gap.

  “Nix, are you decent? I’m coming in.”

  A small squeak was all I could get out through my tight throat, and I nodded. He must have gotten my intent because he was suddenly there, standing front of me. Wrapping me in his arms gently, he pulled my head to his chest. Slowly spinning us around, he put my back to the shower curtain and gently reached out and opened it.

  “You’re alright, Nix.” He repeated it softly, letting the tenor of his voice soothe away my panic until I was able to breathe. “I’m never going to let him hurt you again.” A sharp hiss broke free from his chest, and I gazed up into darkened eyes, a set of fangs protruding from his mouth. I wasn’t even freaking out, something about Damien’s Gargoyle was comforting. He was stunning and strong and… I trusted him. Damn, that was new. Why was it so easy to trust these guys?

  I lifted a hand, hesitating for a split second before running a fingertip over the sharp tip of a fang. The marble statue of the man in front of me rumbled as I did so and wings sprouted from his back. Ho-ly fuck!

  A small yelp flew from my lips, and I scrambled back as they took up the only available space left. He honestly needed more room as his wings were folded to fit in the confines of the bathroom.

  Can I? I spoke into Damien’s head, not entirely sure how to communicate with the sexy Gargoyle-man in front of me.

  You think I’m sexy? He grinned, his fangs giving his smile a feral look.

  Don’t get an ego about it there big guy. I smirked as I reached out and stroked my hand down one of his wings. He groaned, loud and with clear intent. He liked it, so I repeated it.

  Fuck that feels good, sweetheart. No one’s ever touched me like this before.

  I circled him, running my hand over his back where his wings sprouted. I loved the smooth, leathery feel of his wings, and I trailed my fingers over them, exploring his alternate form and getting to know his Gargoyle.

  Nix, he gasped. You better stop. His thoughts were husky and deep, and I caught tendrils of his pleasure.

  It was so much easier to initiate touching than to be the one touched, and I made a mental note of it.

  I circled back in front of him, ducking under his wing to get there. Does he have a name? I crossed my arms over my chest and looked him over.

  Yes. Damien. His tone said he found my question amusing.

  I scoffed, What?! You don’t name your creature? It feels like he should have his own name.

  He’s me, Nix.

  I don’t know… my Phoenix has her own personality, dude. And it was true. She really did.

  Names, we need names. It’s totally happening. I smiled, feeling more like myself by the second. Also, this communicating telepathically thing is amazing. I think I’ve got the hang of it. Any idea why I’m suddenly in the group?

  I had been wondering about that earlier, and now the curiosity was tangible.

  I have some theories. He responded, but chose not to elaborate as he drew his Gargoyle back under his skin. For now, why don’t you get cleaned up? If I leave the guys to your food prep much longer, it won’t be edible. I winced. Ryder’s eggs really were terrible, but the thought had been sweet. I was starving, though, so I shoved Damien out of the bathroom and toward the stairs.

  “Are you alright now, sweetheart?”

  I looked back to the shower and shook my head at my ridiculousness. “I don’t know what happened. I’m fine now. Thanks, Damien.” I reached out and touched his hand. My Phoenix ruffled her wings—she loved all the touching I was doing—giving me her approval and encouragement.

  “You’ve been through so much, Nix. It’s normal for you to have some PTSD. Hell, it wouldn’t be normal if you didn’t.” His voice was low and thunderous.

  I narrowed my eyes at him, searching for answers. “I feel like you’re talking about more than the last few days…”

  Guilt was written all over his features. Oh, fuck. I groaned.

  “You were projecting your pain and memories at me since you came back to your body. You didn’t have any control, so please don’t beat yourself up over it. I’m glad to know, to hold some of that pain for you. I want to be there for you, Nix, in everything. We all do.”

  “You know about…” I couldn’t keep my throat from constricting around the words that didn’t want to be voiced into the universe, “… him.” I knew they knew about Michael, but I’d never shared anything with anyone about my foster brother.

  Damien stepped into me, cupping my cheek and forcing my eyes to his. “You have nothing to be ashamed of. Nothing he did to you was ever your fault. The bastard deserved far worse than the prison sentence he’s serving. You’re strong… so fucking strong. You face your demons head on, and you win. It might not always feel like it, but you do, because every day you go on living is a day they don’t get the upper hand anymore. And fuck sweetheart, I want to be there for you, Nix. Let me… let us help you.” The conviction in his voice was forceful and convincing.

  I let out a shuddering breath and looked up into his eyes. The sincerity found there was startling and he wasn’t looking at me with pity in his eyes. He wasn’t looking at me like a victim. He was looking at me like I was as strong as the Gargoyle he had shown me only minutes ago. Nodding, I took a small step back. My Phoenix was begging me to move forward, drawn to his strength and the ebb and flow of magic beneath his skin, but I was all too aware of my appearance. I needed that shower, and to brush my teeth. I didn’t want my first kiss with Damien to be one where I felt like I was holding back, self-conscious. Somehow I knew kissing him would rock my world, and I wasn’t ready for it yet. Soon, but not yet.

  Damien must have heard my thoughts, damn lack of a mental wall, and I smirked as I backed into the bathroom.

  “Nix,” my name was a moan on his lips, tinged with the roughness of his alternate half.

  “Goodbye, Damien.” I smirked and shut the door as he advanced a step. Locking it, I leaned against the wooden door, trying to process everything that had just happened.

  When I do kiss you, sweetheart, it’ll be something you never forget. The images he sent me were so damn hot that my Phoenix cried for me to open the door and let him in.

  Well, two could play that game. I headed to the shower and turned it on as I stripped down. I may not be ready to get naked with any of the boys, but that didn’t mean a little teasing wasn’t fun. I sent him an image of me pressing him up against the wall, going up on tiptoes, and claiming his mouth for my own. I heard his groan, loud enough to reach me through the door as it also vibrated through my thoughts. He quickly sent me a reply. His hands grabbed my ass, hauling me up and wrapping my legs around him as he turned the tables and pressed me back into that same wall. Wings sprouted from his back, and he imagined me touching them again, only this time he let his arousal press against me as I did, rocking his hips against mine.

  Oh, fuck. I threw up my mental wall so fast that I was dizzy. That image would be burned into my brain. My Phoenix squawked at me in annoyance. “What?! I know! Shut up!” My face was flushed, and I kept replaying the vision he’
d sent me. I wasn’t ready yet, but when I was… hot damn, it was going to be so good.

  I hurried through my shower, taking the time to brush and dry my hair, scrub my teeth, and put on some basic makeup. This past rejuvenation had left my hair luminous and my eyes brighter; more so than was usual. There was no doubt that it had been one hell of a rebirth, and I wondered what else about me had been altered. I couldn’t put my finger on what exactly was different, but I felt stronger; changed. Unfortunately, the changes I had gone through after waking up had left me looking a little thin, and my face hadn’t rounded back out yet. Sighing, I figured it was as good as it was going to get.

  I returned to my room to put my dirty laundry in a pile next to my suitcase when a light blue box caught my eye. Rini was the best friend ever for packing my lady things—alright, let’s just say it, tampons—and I grinned before it quickly turned into a wince. When I had moved to Alaska, I had hoped that my cycle would finally regulate, but I hadn’t counted on dying again. I couldn’t explain it, but rebirth seemed to mess with my cycle. I was far from regular and never knew when I’d start. I wrapped an arm around my middle as I mentally calculated the days. It had been well over a month and a half since my last period. Sighing, I tried to view it as a silver lining. Most women hated their monthlies. Me? I just wanted an ounce of normalcy in my life.

  Ready to face the day, I left my thoughts behind as I headed for the stairs.

  Six

  Nix

  By the time I made my way downstairs, the mood in the house seemed to have sobered. Pausing on the last step, I looked around the room and noticed that no one was making eye contact with me except for Ryder, but the look was tense—so unlike the playful flirting I was used to.

  “Morning sleeping beauty.” His smirk felt forced.

  “What’s wrong?” My hackles rose, and I was immediately on edge. Gritting my teeth, I looked to Damien. We had just shared a moment upstairs, and I expected that he would be honest with me now. He was serving up the last plate, setting it on the island between the kitchen and the dining room space. The open concept layout allowed me to see straight into the kitchen from my vantage point. It let me see all of them. Theo, Ryder, and Hiro were all sitting around the dining room table while Damien finished dishing out the food, and Killian was leaning against the wall between the entryway and the kitchen, eyes closed. His arms were crossed, his head was thrown back, resting against the wall.

  Surprisingly, it was Theo who spoke up. “Nix, we have some news we need to share with you. Will you come sit down and eat while we talk?” He nudged the chair across from him out from the table with his foot as his beautiful blue eyes sought out my brown ones.

  “What’s this about?” I doubted I’d be able to eat with the pit that was settling into my stomach, and instead of moving toward the table, I held my ground on the stairs, clutching the railing. I just knew whatever they were going to say was grave, given their downcast faces. These boys had terrible poker faces. The edge to my voice didn’t go unnoticed, and Killian moved away from the wall, heading in my direction.

  “Nix, baby, it’s important for you to have this information. I don’t know if you’ll see it as good news or bad news, but please come and sit. Hear us out. We’d never keep anything from you, and now that you’re stronger… it’s time that we filled you in.”

  Grinding my teeth, I nodded once and let him lead me to the dining room table where a healthy plateful of eggs, bacon, and avocado toast was promptly placed in front of me along with a huge glass of water. Ryder quickly sat in the chair next to me, the legs scraping against the floor as he quickly scooted the seat toward the table and plunked a small glass of orange juice down next to my plate. He must have known it would make me smile because he fist pumped the second my lips tweaked upwards.

  “You know that stuff is mostly sugar right?” Damien asked with an arched eyebrow.

  “And it’s delicious and full of vitamin C. Cheers.” Ryder toasted the air with his glass before chugging half of it in one gulp. I wish I could join in his fun, but I was far too tense to joke around when I felt something life-altering hanging in the air.

  “Alright. Out with it already. The anxiety is eating a hole in my stomach.” I gripped my churning stomach, trying to calm it from the outside. I hated having such physical reactions to stress sometimes.

  “You remember when we told you we woke Michael up to get information from him about what was in the vial?” I was surprised that Killian was the one to initiate the conversation, and it seemed that the others were equally as shocked by his forwardness. Killian was my brooding bunny, and the fact that he started the explanation told me just how serious he found the entire conversation to be.

  “Yes.” My mouth was as dry as sawdust, and I reached for my water, hoping that the sip would make talking easier and ease the ache in my stomach.

  “Well, he gave us what we wanted…but we got a lot more information thanks to Theo’s quick reasoning.” The Celt leaned back against the wall, apparently passing the torch to Theo to continue.

  Clearing his voice, Theo caught my eyes and held my gaze. “Nix, when I questioned Michael about the vial, it became apparent to me that he was after more than simply trying to kill you. His plan with the vial was to force your Phoenix to rise—he hoped she’d appear and protect you from the toxins. He wanted you to shift, and if you didn’t, well I don’t think he cared if the venom lived up to its reputation.”

  “He knows what I am…” The words trailed off. Truthfully, I had so many questions from that night, but I hadn’t been able to stay awake long enough to voice my concerns.

  “Yes. He’s known the entire time.” Theo’s soft, straightforward voice was interrupted by a much angrier one. Ah, there’s the Celt I knew.

  “He’s been keeping you, waiting for you to fucking shift.”

  “Killian,” Theo warned.

  “Right. Got it.” He shut up.

  “Keeping me?” I didn’t understand what he meant.

  “Nix, Michael is a part-blood. You’re a full-blooded Phoenix.” He trailed off, looking at me expectantly.

  “Listen, despite the fact that I’ve been sleeping for days I’m surprisingly exhausted. I haven’t eaten a full meal since the night of the attack, and I’m ravenous. Even though I’m starving, I can’t eat because my stomach is devouring itself due to the stress the tension in the air is causing me. So Michael’s a part-blood, and I’m a Phoenix? Can’t people get their genes from their mothers? I thought the stronger shifter usually won the genetic battle that is conception?”

  “That’s usually true. The stronger shifter in a mating will usually win out when it comes to what the pair’s children will become. Not all those children will have the same powers their parents have. Example: a pairing between a griffin and a unicorn would probably end with unicorn offspring since it’s the rarest, most powerful shifter between the two.”

  “No come-back for that, Ryder?” My words were weak as I tried to lighten the mood which was thickening around us. I knew it was a stall tactic.

  “Not this time.” Ryder carefully reached out and took my hand, giving it a little squeeze.

  Clearing his throat, Theo rubbed the back of his neck as he brought us back on topic. “Similarly, a forest kitsune and a fire kitsune could mate, but their child may have neither of their powers… they could make a wind kitsune or a celestial kitsune.” Hiro snorted at this, and I felt like there was a reason Theo used this example, but I chose not to ask for answers at the moment. “There’s one truth among all these scenarios, though, Nix. A part-blood shifter and a full-blood shifter will never make a full-blooded shifter. When I took your blood the other day, before all this went down, I confirmed that you are full-blooded.” He paused and looked around the room before dropping the bomb that was just dawning in my mind. “Michael isn’t your father.”

  “He’s… not my father.” I felt like a parrot, repeating what he said back to him.

  “Nix, w
hile I didn’t realize that Michael was a shifter—a part-blood—until the other night when he attacked you, I had a theory that he couldn’t have been your father. There aren’t many cases of mythological part-bloods these days. They used to be more common before the newest Council took over. Mythologicals are highly prized in our society, and the Council makes sure we all find mates and breed accordingly so we create more mythologicals. It wasn’t always the case, but now it’s looked down upon if a mythological breeds with a regular shifter or a human. It’s seen as diluting the gene pool. If he was a human, like you thought he was, I didn’t think he could have fathered you. You’re too strong. You radiate power. His human genetics would have either muted your powers or your ability to shift. You could have been an anomaly, but I wanted to look into your genetics like we talked about. It’s why I wanted your last names and that blood sample. You’re a full-blooded shifter, Nix.”

  “You all thought he wasn’t my father?” I felt empty. They had kept vital information from me? They kept their suspicions from me? I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to feel right now.

  Killian answered me. “Suspicions, yes. We asked if you could have been adopted when you were shot. Something didn’t add up, but we weren’t sure. No one has seen a phoenix for ages, and mythological part-bloods aren’t super common; you could have been the exception, an anomaly. We just didn’t know until we had the pleasure of meeting the bastard ourselves. Then, after Theo had healed, he finished running your blood tests and found your markers.”

  “Markers?”

  “Shifters carry their creature’s genetic markers in the blood. I can’t tell you who your actual parents are without DNA samples, but I can tell you what markers you have.” When Theo stopped talking, I stared around the room with wide eyes. Did they understand how much this was to take in?

  “So, he’s not my father?” I was a damn broken record.