Secrets Vol 1 Read online

  A LADY’S QUEST

  BONNIE HAMRE

  To My Reader:

  Have you ever wondered what it would be like to experience exquisite lovemaking with the perfect lover? Antonia Blair-Sutworth did and look what happened! Enjoy along with Antonia...

  A LADY'S QUEST 3

  CHAPTER ONE

  Antonia heard the breathless murmurs and glanced beyond her

  dance partner's shoulder. Across the crowded Wolfington ballroom,

  guests gathered at the foot of the sweeping staircase to watch a man

  descend.

  Head erect, broad shoulders straight, he made his leisurely way down the steps, seemingly at ease with being the center of attention. Even the dancers slowed to observe the tall man with the regal bearing. Like the dominant lion whose coloring he shared, he moved with the sinuous, controlled grace that spoke of might held under strict restraint.

  He reached the bottom of the steps. The crowd parted before him. Ladies dipped in welcoming curtsies, men lowered their heads as he made his way between them, ignoring the sussuration that encircled and flowed in his wake.

  As he joined her, Countess Wolfington all but swooned. She rose from her curtsy, puce skirts puddling from her broad hips, clasping the hand he extended.

  He lifted her fingers to his mouth. "Countess. Beautiful as always."

  More than twice his age, she simpered like a young girl in her first Season. "Your grace, such an honor to have you attend our simple entertainment."

  Dougal MacDonald, seventh Duke of Sutherland, lifted an eyebrow. The Wolfingtons were known for their extravagant and ostentatious parties and this one promised to be no exception. He glanced around at the gaudy ballroom, at the scores of flickering silver can-

  4 Bonnie Hamre

  delabras, and the elaborately dressed hordes milling about hoping to catch his attention.

  "We heard you were back from the north, your grace," the countess ventured.

  "Aye. I rode hard to be here tonight."

  She raised a fan to cover a coy titter. "Oh, you flatter me."

  Let the woman think what she wanted. Covertly, Sutherland searched the faces of the guests. Even on his isolated estates, he'd heard the news that Lady Blair-Sutworth had dismissed Effingdale and he had wasted no time returning to London. Now that she was free, he meant to make her his.

  Immediately.

  His gaze traveled past an ensemble dancing a quadrille, then snapped back. There. No mistaking that glorious chestnut hair piled atop that slender neck. Her gown, a deep blue, clung to her figure, subtly revealing the curve of her hip, the tantalizing hint of her thigh. She wore no adornment other than the glowing gems at her throat and ears, yet her simplicity drew him far more than the ornately decorated gowns of the other women.

  For an instant their eyes met, then she looked coolly away from the interest he let show on his face. He frowned. The lady was no blushing virgin, but a sophisticated woman well aware of her own sensuality. Why then did she look away in a deliberate snub?

  He accepted a glass of champagne from a passing footman and

  moving out of the way of the dancers, he took a position where he

  could watch her without interference.

  She moved gracefully through the steps of the quadrille, her fingers just resting on those of her partner. Though she smiled as she danced, and nodded and acknowledged acquaintances who shared the floor, she showed no particular preference for any man that Sutherland could discern. That pleased him. However, she steadfastly refused to look his way, which did not.

  When the music ceased, she smiled at her partner, rested her fingertips on his arm and allowed him to escort her from the floor. Sutherland straightened his shoulders and made his way to her side.

  A Lady's Quest 5

  He intercepted her as she turned to join another group. "Lady Blair-Sutworth."

  Antonia glanced up and stiffened. "Your grace." She made him the smallest curtsy imaginable.

  He hid a smile. "Have I offended you in some way?"

  Casting her emerald gaze somewhere beyond his shoulder, she murmured, "I cannot imagine why you should think so."

  "Almost the cut direct should do it, wouldn't you agree?'

  She slanted her head in inquiry.

  "A few moments ago, while you were dancing?"

  She paused, as if in reflection. "I don't believe I noticed you."

  "I am wounded."

  Her gaze flicked up and away. "Is there not a sufficient number of women here to fawn over you? Perhaps our hosts would be good enough to import some additional female guests."

  He laughed. "One will do. Shall I tell you who?"

  "That is not necessary, your grace. If you will excuse me?"

  "Not yet."

  Her mouth tightened. Sutherland studied the set look to her face, Why was she so eager to rid herself of his presence? Though he found it more irritating than complimentary, he couldn't pretend he knew nothing about the usual reaction of women to his attention. He didn't flatter himself that it was for himself alone, for Dougal MacDonald, that some women flirted and chatted gaily to attract his attention to their charms. It was common knowledge that he would have to marry soon to protect the title and fill his nurseries. More than one woman hoped to become his very wealthy Duchess.

  But not yet. Marriage and children would have to wait. First, he would lay claim to Lady Antonia Blair-Sutworth. Anticipating the outcome of his intentions, he studied the tender flare of her lips and wondered how they would feel under his. His loins tightened at the thought.

  The music began again. A waltz, perfect. He turned to her, but she took a step back.

  "I've promised this dance to Talbot." She looked past his shoulder. "Here he is, now."

  6 Bonnie Hamre

  Sutherland turned his head and waited until the other man, a young fop by the looks of his intricately tied neckcloth, approached. Calmly, he said, "Lady Blair-Sutworth has pledged me this dance."

  She caught her breath. "Oh, but I didn't—"

  The younger man cast her a startled glance and bowed. "My error, your grace."

  "Wise of him," Sutherland commented as the younger man retreated. He turned to lead Antonia to the floor.

  "Do you always get what you want?"

  "Always. Make note of that, my lady."

  "I do not wish to dance a waltz with you, sir."

  "Why not?"

  Antonia knew he knew exactly why she did not want to dance with him. The waltz, only recently accepted by the patrons at Almacks, would allow him to put his hand on her waist, to hold her facing him, to command her steps. How could she maintain a distance between them when he held her? "I prefer to choose my own partners," she said firmly.

  "As do I." He looked into her eyes. "I have chosen you. Will you waltz with me or cause a scene? Already people are staring at us."

  "They look at you, your grace. They always do."

  She tensed as he took her into his arms and held her much too closely. She withdrew immediately to the acceptable distance between partners. His grip loosened, but she heard the slight rumble of laughter deep in his chest.

  "Jealous?" He took the first slow, graceful steps, immediately establishing his mastery of the dance. "You are beautiful, witty, always in demand. Surely you are used to people watching you? Particularly men?"

  "As the women watch you, your grace? Your reputation far exceeds mine."

  He laughed, a low sound meant for her ears alone. "Perhaps we shall add to our reputations."

  The implications of his statement whirled in her head as he moved her around the dance floor in flawless rhythm. She had no trouble

  A lady's Quest

  following him. He perform
ed the scandalous dance as though it were invented to show off his lean physique, his manly command of his partner's body. Even with the proper space between them, she knew intuitively that their bodies would fit perfectly.

  The music swirled through her. Closing her eyes, she let the melody and the man sweep her in wide, circling turns. Her body throbbed to life as the thought of the sensual possibilities this man offered.

  Indeed, for a moment, she allowed herself the pleasure of imagining a far more intimate dance. Once or twice, as their thighs brushed together, she felt the hard muscles and envisioned his phallus, rigid and ready. Desire, heated and heavy, rushed through her. She felt her limbs go limp, knew only that his arm supported her, and savored the feeling.

  But only for an instant. Abruptly, she forced the pleasure away. She knew only too well the risk of allowing her desire to govern her head. She could not allow this dance to be any more than it was, a brief moment out of time, an exquisite interlude.

  Much as she would prefer to let the passion sweep her along, she could not allow an instant of weakness to threaten her liberty. If she allowed her heart to interfere with her head, if she let herself relax the vigilance that had served her well, she'd lose all that she had gained. In the three years of her widowhood, she'd become used to managing her own affairs and being in control of her inherited income.

  Though there was nothing to say that Sutherland would be anything other than a passionate liaison, she knew herself too well. If she once allowed herself to indulge in the pleasure of making love with him, she wouldn't be content with a mere affair. She would want everything, the man, marriage and a life together. In return, she would be expected to surrender everything to him. The thought of submitting that authority over herself to a husband was enough to discourage any idea of matrimony.

  She longed for the music to end, to release her from this sensual torment of being near him, yet she dreaded the moment when she would have to move out of his arms. She shivered at the touch of his hand on her waist. Through the material of her gown, and the delicate undergarments, she felt the warmth of his palm. The heat insinuated

  8 Bonnie Hamre

  itself through her skin, to flicker like fire through her body. It penetrated her defenses. She longed to move closer, to lay her head on his broad chest and feel whether his heart thundered as hers did.

  "I believe I knew your husband, madam. Died at Waterloo, didn't he?"

  His voice, deep with the rolling resonance of the Highlands, brought her to her senses. She collected her wavering defenses and gathered them closely about her. Her only hope lay in discouraging him, of being so cold that he would seek feminine company elsewhere. "Yes."

  "A hero. No doubt you miss him greatly?'

  "As any woman grieves for her husband, your grace."

  This time he didn't hold back the laughter. It boomed out, drawing attention to them. She grit her teeth in frustration, resenting the intrusion into her brief moment with him. Why hadn't he the good sense to keep silent until the dance ended?

  She started to withdraw from the circle of his arms, but he tightened his grip on her gloved hand. "My apologies," he stated as he twirled her around. "In my observation of the ton, grief is the last thing young wives feel when their elderly husbands cock up their toes."

  "Perhaps you have been observing the wrong people," she said, a crisp edge to her voice.

  "Perhaps. I would rather observe you. Those sapphires about your

  neck become you. They enhance the smoothness of your throat. Like

  fresh, sweet cream. I wonder, will it be as delicious to my tongue?"

  "Your grace!" Her gaze darted up to meet his intent brown eyes.

  Once again she was reminded of the lion stalking his prey, all sinu

  ous stealth and deadly determination. She felt impaled on tttat gaze,

  unable to move, to run, to protect herself. ^

  "Yes? Surely men have complimented you before?" She made herself speak lightly. "Not quite that way. At least, not in public."

  "Quite so. When we are alone together, I shall compliment you in great detail—"

  "There will be no opportunity for you to do so." He smiled slightly. "Make no mistake, madam. You and I shall become intimately acquainted."

  A Lady's Quest 9

  "I have no wish to continue this discussion, your grace. Pray release me."

  "When the music is over."

  She glanced up at his steely tone. She saw the predatory expression on his rugged face and despite her wish to escape the enticement of his arms, her heartbeat faltered. Temptation made her feel faint. She had to escape from his sensual lure before desire made her lose her good sense.

  With relief, she heard the closing strains of the waltz. Sutherland could not expect another dance without causing speculation and that would protect her, at least for this evening. She would take care that they did not dance again.

  They came to a halt not far from the grand staircase. He released her with a slight nod.

  "Until we meet again."

  A moment later, to her surprise, he was halfway up the stairs, leaving her feeling strangely abandoned. The buzz of gossip surrounded her as her fellow guests discussed the Duke's extraordinary departure and directed their curious glances at her. Holding her head high and her shoulders back, she, too, ascended the stairs, and called for her wrap and her carriage.

  ******************

  "Clarry! You must help me!"

  The older woman paused as she carefully placed Antonia's jewelry into their velvet lined case. "What's the matter, milady?" She scrutinized Antonia. "You look all flushed and shivery like. Did you forget your shawl?"

  "I must find a lover. There is no time to waste!"

  Clarry bustled to her side and touched Antonia's forehead as if checking for fever.

  "What's amiss?"

  "Sutherland intends to make me his mistress."

  Clarry's eyes lit up. "Sutherland? Now there's a man to keep

  10 Bonnie Hamre

  you warm at night. I've heard that the women he beds wear smiles for a week—"

  "This is no jesting matter," Antonia protested.

  "What's wrong with his grace, I ask? I've heard he's a tiger—"

  "Not a tiger," Antonia corrected. "A lion. He intends to make me his next meal."

  "And about time, too."

  "Clarry!" Antonia couldn't help smiling at her servant's plain spoken ways. The old woman had been her maid for many years and knew every one of her secrets and sins, yet sometimes Clarry still managed to surprise her. "Never him."

  "And why not, milady? Now there's a real man for you—"

  Antonia shut her eyes to avoid seeing the look on her servant's face. If Sutherland could make even elderly serving women look that rapturous, what more damage could he do to her heart? To her hard-won control over her own life?

  "I will not have that man. Any but him"

  Clarry's lips set firmly. "You are a fool, milady."

  Antonia took no offense. "No doubt. You must help me find a new lover."

  "Me?" Clarry all but squeaked.

  "You've never failed me yet, Clarry. I count on you to help me." To take my mind off Sutherland, to assuage my need, to submerge myself in all the pleasure I can stand so that I no longer wonder what it would be like to make love with that Scot.

  "You're sure about this, milady?"

  "I am," Antonia stated. Her blood quickened at the memory of the duke's body so close to hers. "There is no time to lose."

  Clarry sighed. "On your head be it."

  "Oh, no," Antonia murmured to herself once Clarry had left her alone. "It's my heart that will pay the price."

  CHAPTER TWO

  A LADY'S QUEST 11

  Antonia removed her hat and veil and gazed around the salon in the suite of rooms Clarry had secured. "You've done well, Clarry. You and the footmen will wait here while I am otherwise engaged."

  Clarry nodded. "It's not too late to
change your mind, milady. The first of the lot isn't due for another half hour."

  "No. I must do this. For my own sanity, if nothing else," Antonia murmured, her mind filled with the erotic dreams she'd had of Sutherland ever since the Wolfington ball. He wouldn't let her sleep. Now, more than ever, she needed a lusty lover to replace the thoughts of him.

  She moved forward and opened the door leading to the bedroom. She studied the dimly lit room, the wide bed draped in gold brocade hangings, the thick Oriental carpets under her feet and the plump pillows piled invitingly on a well-upholstered chaise. "Oh, Clarry. This is beyond description!"

  A low fire warmed the room, while aromatic candles provided just enough light to set a sensual mood. The room promised seduction. At the end of the bed, an emerald silk robe, richly embroidered in gold thread, lay next to a matching emerald silken scrap. Antonia picked it up and saw that it was a full head mask, with openings for the nose and mouth delicately outlined in matching gold floss. She smiled and lifted it to her face. "I can't see through it. Good."

  "Nor be recognized," Clarry commented, her voice betraying her misgivings.

  "Everything's just as you said, milady. There's your bell, there, if

  12 Bonnie Hamre

  you need us. Ring, and we'll come running."

  "I hope that won't be necessary."

  "You never know, I say. Though I picked them carefully, some of these men aren't what you're used to. Some of them aren't gentlemen," she sniffed. "Why you can't stick to your own kind—"

  "Because they are too full of themselves," Antonia said. "We've been over this before."

  Clarry sniffed. "These men are common!"

  "Just so they satisfy my requirements," Antonia reminded her. "I want no one who will remind me of Sutherland."

  "No chance of that. Only thing these 'applicants'," she said in a voice laced with scorn, "Have in common with his grace is a yard."

  Antonia frowned at the vernacular for a man's penis. "No need to be crude." She dropped her reticule on a small table and studied her servant's face. "You are sure you know what to tell them?"

  "I know. Nothing more foolish I've never heard, but I'll tell them right enough."