In the Dust Read online

  Why does this all have to be so difficult? It really doesn't. The solution is simple.

  My life is in New York. All of this is temporary. Willow creek, Fuzzy’s.

  Mine and Brad’s relationship has really just begun, and I don’t need to ruin it over some flirty bullshit with my first boyfriend.

  A swarm of guilt blankets me as I recall last night. How I got way too flirty with Colton, and how if I wouldn't have been interrupted, I may have kissed him.

  Me, alcohol, and Colton don't mix at all. Brad’s been good to me, and I need to treat him better. I’m giving myself an ounce of grace, although this is not like me at all.

  “What do you want to do today?” I ask him. We need to do something fun.

  He sits up, mulling over my question. “I’m exhausted from this morning,” He wipes his face. “Shower and lunch?”

  “Sounds good to me.” I grin.

  “Is this your childhood room?” Brad asks, his fingers grazing along my bedframe.

  “It is. What do you think?”

  He looks around, his eyes landing on me. “I love it.” He smiles.

  I cross my arms. “Really?”

  “Yeah. It’s cozy.” He hops onto my bed, and I slide in beside him, making sure to turn down the old photo of me and Colton. Come to think of it, I’m not sure why I even have it up still.

  Brad looks at me, a smirk playing on his lips. “I missed you, Dixie.”

  I scoot a little closer to him. “I missed you too.” I frown, feeling guilty for not being the perfect girlfriend since I’ve been home. A flood of emotions hit me the moment I crossed into Willow Creek, but I can’t let that affect what I’ve got going on back in New York.

  “I can’t wait for this weekend,” he whispers, dragging his fingertip along my jaw.

  I bounce up, nervous to be intimate with him in my childhood bedroom. “Want to finish the tour?” I glide my hand towards the bathroom.

  “What’s this?” Brad, born and raised in the city, has never seen a bear claw tub.

  “It’s a bath,” I reply with a laugh.

  He grabs the curtain, sliding it back and forth. “Okay, I get it. It’s a shower too.”

  He takes off his shirt, his skin glistening from working all day. Brad may not be cowboy strong, but he does have a defined body, and he held his own today. Abs made from a gym instead of stacking hay. Okay, Dixie, no need to compare.

  A moment of worry bubbles up in me for having a boy in my room, especially one who wants me to take a shower with him. But I’m an adult, and Grandpa went to get an X-ray with Colton’s mom to check on the fracture, and Dad’s at work. We’re safe.

  I strip off my clothes, stepping under the warm water.

  It’s hard to miss Brad’s toned body as it rubs against me when he reaches for the shampoo. We’ve never experienced this sense of calm that country life brings. Normally when we stay the night together, we’re rushing in the morning. This is a nice change of pace for us.

  I take my loofah, lathering in the lavender soap.

  “Come here, babe.” Brad narrows his eyes, bringing my body closer to his.

  His hand slides down my curves, and it feels nice, but I know it’s only a matter of time before he goes too far.

  He knows we’re not going to have sex, but he always pushes it. It makes me feel bad that he thinks I’m a virgin, but the truth is I’ve only ever been with Colton. He took my virginity, and things got more complicated after that.

  “I’m going to get dressed,” I tell him, ringing my hair out before I step out onto the bathmat.

  I wrap the towel around my body as he turns off the shower. Reaching under the sink, I feel a whole lot of nothing. “Oh shit, I don’t have any extra towels up here … I’ll be right back.”

  I run down the steps, worried I may be caught, but everyone is gone for the day. In my hurry, I don’t pay attention to where I’m going, and I run smack dab into a hard, tall object.

  “Damn, Dix,” Colton drawls. I yelp as I turn around and to my embarrassment, the towel unwraps and drops to the floor.

  I use my hands to cover my body, not wanting to fumble to the floor. “Colton!” I squeal, positioning myself behind his jacket on the rack. “Turn around!” I demand.

  His arms cross; he’s in no rush. “It’s nothing I haven’t seen before, darlin’.”

  He knows. He freaking knows I melt when he calls me that. My cheeks heat. “Colton Wesley Payne,” I scoff.

  “Dixie May Norwood.” He grins a stupid, handsome, crooked grin.

  Footsteps draw near, “Hey, babe. What’s taking so lo—”

  Colton’s already holding the towel in his hand and covering his eyes with his other. Oh, he’s good. “Dix dropped her towel.”

  Colton looks like a chivalrous gentleman. I snatch the towel from his grip, wrapping it around myself. To save any fights, I sweeten my voice. “Thanks.” I fake a smile. It’s nothing new, really. We’ve been naked in front of each other a million times … but still, it’s inappropriate now. “All covered.”

  Colton opens his eyes, finally realizing why I’m naked and running downstairs.

  His face reminds me why Brad is down here. He’s butt naked, dripping on the floor. But Brad, is well … endowed and not embarrassed to show it off.

  Colton deflates, turning to exit the house as quickly as he can.

  “Where are we going to eat?” Brad wonders as he buttons up his shirt.

  I’m still recovering from the awkward exchange from earlier, but he’s unfazed.

  I need to take a page from his book, to not let what Colton stupid Payne does affect me so much. I’ve been gone for years, but God, that doesn't mean he hasn't crossed my mind every day since I’ve been in New York.

  But hell, we grew up together, and he’s technically my neighbor, so I think that’s normal.

  Right?

  I jump with excitement, making the best out of the day, and I know the perfect place to take him. “Whispering Willow.” I grin. Brad looks at me wearily. “I promise you’ll love it!” I assure him.

  Finally, he gives in. “Okay, okay. Just take me somewhere for a latte first.”

  “Done!” I lie, not knowing of any coffee shops besides an old gas station.

  The moment Brad steps away, Harper leans forward with a mischievous grin on her face. “I saw you all cozied up with Mr. Payne last night.”

  I throw my face in my hands. “Did anyone else see?”

  “No.” She gives me an apologetic smile when she takes in my red cheeks. “Dixie May, it’s not like you were kissin’ him! Don’t be so embarrassed. It’s a lot comin’ back home.”

  I don’t want to be rude, but I want to ask her how she knows it’s difficult. I think I’m the only person who has ever actually moved away from Willow Creek.

  A lot of people leave their hometowns to grow bigger, or because there’s nothing to do. But we aren't lacking on things to do; there’s always a fun time and good friends waiting at every turn here.

  It’s the best town in the world, but it holds too much hurt for me.

  Way too much hurt.

  I spritz a little perfume on, and then I look at Harper. “Why do we do this?”

  “Do what?” she asks, dabbing on a little cherry lip gloss. We’re alone in my room, and the guys are outside making a fire.

  I shake the bottle. “Spray perfume on when we’re going to smell like burning wood in ten minutes.”

  She laughs, taking the bottle and spritzing it on herself. “I honestly don’t know.”

  “I hope tonight goes smoothly.”

  She quirks her brow. “You have your past flame and your current boyfriend attending the same bonfire. What could go wrong?” she teases.

  “Colton could throw him in, for one.”

  Harper throws her head back in laughter. “We could invite Miss America over here to diffuse the situation.”

  “Yeah, right. I’d end up throwing her in.”

  We head downstairs, walking out into the high-rise of a fire. “They must have turned this into a competition too.”

  “Oh, you know they did.”

  When we get to the guys, I look around for Brad, but he’s on the phone. I slap Colton’s arm. “You know my Dad’s going to get a call about this,” I sneer. A small town with nosy neighbors equals a whole bunch of tattle tales.

  Colton throws another log onto the blazing fire. “Already called him. We dug a break around it.”

  “Where’s the alcohol?”

  He pulls a glass jar from a nearby cooler, handing it to me. “Here you go, sunshine.”

  I laugh. “Where’s the beer? You know I can’t handle moonshine.”

  He shrugs. “Fresh out.”

  Damn. Well, I need something to calm my nerves. Brad returns from his call, wrapping his arm around me as I take a swig of the shine. It burns my throat and makes me hack. “Too strong,” I choke.

  Brad reaches for the jar.

  “It tastes like gasoline,” I warn him, but he throws it back.

  And doesn’t even flinch. “I used to drink worse back in college.”

  I nod respectfully. Normally he’s a martini drinker. I can’t even imagine Brad throwing one back with the boys on a Friday night. But there’s a lot we don’t know about each other.

  The moonshine makes everyone loosen up besides Colton. He’s sitting in a chair, stoking the fire, while the rest of us are cutting up and enjoying its warmth on a big blanket.

  “I need to run to the bathroom.”

  I shake my head, nudging his shoulder. “The woodline,” I hiccup, feeling the effects of the shine.

  He plants a kiss on my cheek before stumbling away.

  A look crosses Colton’s face that tells me he’s contemplati
ng coming to sit beside me, but stops himself. I need something to eat, maybe a sandwich or some marshmallows. I look over to Harper to see if she’s hungry, but Jackson’s tongue is down her throat, and it makes me giggle.

  It feels like Brad’s been gone for hours, but I’m just drunk. I look down at the blanket, running my fingers along the stitching when I see a light. It’s Brad’s phone.

  When my blurry eyes finally adjust, what I see makes me shake with rage.

  A text from his assistant, Valencia.

  ‘Brad …’

  She’s still typing, and next a picture comes through. Her, wearing a lacey black piece of lingerie. It’s a set Brad bought me, but I have mine in my suitcase …

  The worst part is, she’s in our bed.

  Well, what would be our bed when I move in.

  I scroll up through his messages, my stomach turning as I stumble upon hundreds of flirty messages.

  My eyes roam, landing on Colton. He takes in my expression knowing something is terribly wrong as he stands and makes his way to me.

  I have to think fast.

  Do I even have the right to be mad with how much I’ve been flirting with Colton?

  Honestly, hell yeah I have the right. I haven't done anything with Colton, and I damn sure wasn't having an affair behind Brad’s back for what looks like months.

  The rage turns into jealousy, making my cheeks burn with embarrassment.

  Then, tears fall down my cheeks in waves.

  I’m too drunk, way too drunk to be dealing with this right now.

  “What happened?” Colton asks, his eyes roaming around my face.

  Brad stumbles back, completely clueless. “What’s wrong, babe?” he slurs.

  Colton responds faster than I do. His chest smacks into Brad’s, and he nearly falls over. “What did you do?” Colton sneers at him.

  Brad pushes his shoulders, “What the fuck is your problem, man?”

  “You.” Colton steadies himself. “You’re my problem.”

  I stand up on shaky legs, trying to get in between them. But I’m stumbling around, too upset to think. “You cheated!” I shout.

  Brad looks at me, then to his phone in my hand. Then he slides his palm across his face. “Dixie, listen—”

  Colton snarls, “She has nothing to say to you.”

  Brad shakes his head. “She’s my girl …” Brad focuses on him more than me, which pisses me off.

  I stalk a little closer, but Colton’s fist colliding with Brad’s jaw makes me stagger back. “Colton!” I shout, and although Brad deserves it, I don’t want to see anyone getting hurt.

  Jackson is up and over to us in a flash, sober as a whistle. “Break it up,” he tells the guys, walking over to Brad to get him up. “I’m taking you to your rental.”

  Brad tries to protest, but he’s sloppy, and the punch he received didn’t help. “Dixie, can I talk to you?”

  I shake my head, gesturing for Harper to help get him the hell away from me. “Just go, Brad.” I slur. “This is over.”

  Heavy tears stream down my face as the three of them crest the hill, leaving me and Colton behind with the massive, roaring fire.

  “I’m so stupid.” I collapse onto the blanket, and Colton slides in beside me, giving me a shoulder to sob on.

  “You’re not stupid, Dix.” He brushes his knuckles under my chin. “You were trying to force yourself together with a puzzle piece that didn’t fit.”

  I push my fist against his chest. “Why do you always know what to say?”

  Through the tears, I note his eyes roaming my face. “Because I know you.”

  And in a moment of sadness, I lean in…

  And kiss him.

  9

  Morning dew adorns the soft blades of grass that glide across my feet as I make my way to the aged swing. It’s hanging from a giant old bur oak tree that sits right in the middle, where both our properties meet.

  Almost every night Colton and I would meet here. He would lightly hum one of my favorite songs as we danced in the moonlight, swaying in sync with the Spanish moss as the wind rolled through. It was something straight out of a romance novel.

  Young love is blind, though.

  Colton shouldn’t be my first thought right now, but he is. I let out a sigh, trying to expel the memories.

  I wish I could have stayed in bed with a pounding hangover all day just to have an excuse to not face the world, but before I could even lay my head on the pillow last night, Colton made me drink a Gatorade and eat a sandwich.

  I run my hand down the scratchy rope before taking a seat. I push my feet off the ground and lean my head back, welcoming the morning sun that warms my face. This used to be one of my favorite places to think.

  The thought of Brad quickly takes over my mind. I’m still in shock about last night. I can’t believe him and Valencia have been hooking up behind my back; it completely blindsided me. Although, I shouldn’t be surprised because she’s always there at his beck and call, but I trusted him.

  He was supposed to be the safe option and because of that, I thought he was different. He promised he would never hurt me, yet here we are.

  Did I let things with Colton escalate? Yes. But nothing actually happened. We didn’t kiss that night at the bar.

  Should I have let things get that far? No. But again, nothing happened … Because Harper interrupted, I have to remind myself.

  I shake my head. I’m not the kind of person that cheats on their significant other.

  I’m not a heartless bitch, but I am human.

  Your first love always holds a special place in your heart. An all-consuming feeling that weaves its roots deep down into your core. At least that’s what I’ve always been told. Who am I kidding? It’s what I feel.

  I tried to move on with Brad, and it did work for a while. He helped me through one of the darkest times in my life, and I’ll forever be grateful for that. But the heart wants what it wants, no matter how hard you try to convince yourself otherwise.

  I finally admit to myself that I did have love for Brad, I just wasn’t in love with him. I bow my head as a single tear sneaks its way down my cheek, finally accepting that there was always something missing between him and I.

  What we had was comfortable, but to put it simply, he wasn’t Colton.

  That’s why, deep down, I know it would have never worked out in the end.

  My head snaps towards a rustling noise sounding in the distance. I gather my feelings and wipe away the tears. Pushing a loose strand of hair behind my ear, I narrow my eyes to see.

  It’s him.

  Colton.

  He’s walking straight for me, his arms swaying back and forth with every step. He’s wearing a simple outfit this morning. A light gray form-fitting t-shirt that accentuates his toned arms and a dark pair of jeans that seem to hug all the right places. It’s all paired with a set of dark brown Ariat boots.

  I notice he’s shaped his beard.

  He’s so handsome it hurts.

  There’s still a large distance between us that makes it feel like he’s walking in slow motion. Like this is my very own Jane Austen moment as he crosses the field. Just the thought causes me to tighten my grip on the ropes I’m holding.

  Maybe I should go back to bed. That’s it, I’m just sleep deprived.

  As he closes the distance between us, we lock eyes. He begins to smile, which causes me to smirk, stirring the butterflies within me. He lowers his eyes when he finally reaches me, severing the trance we both seemed to be in. The way he looks at me hasn’t changed. It’s as if I’m the most beautiful girl in the world. The only woman in the world.

  “Mornin’, Dixie.” He pauses. “How are you feeling?”

  “I’m okay.” It’s my turn to pause. “Thank you for last night.”

  “I’ll always have your back. You should never question that. Plus, City Boy needed to be straightened out.” He smiles.

  I snicker at his response. He does have a point. I look away from him for a second to catch my breath. “Can I ask you something?”

  “Even if I say no, you’ll still ask.” He smirks that damn side smile that always gets to me.

  “True,” I reply with a laugh. Some things never change. “That first morning before chores, I noticed that the picture next to my bed had a crease in it. Do you know what happened to it?”