Absolution Read online

  “His efforts are wearing you out. Zoe, you’re a brave, sassy bearcat.” His lips lifted in a slight grin. His finger tapped my chin. “But he’s very powerful.”

  “I’m getting that. But he can’t overcome a mortal, right?”

  Matthias’ fingers tightened on my shoulders. His eyes crinkled in a smile. “Smart and sassy, a deadly combination. You’re ab-so-lute-ly right. Evil can’t overcome you unless you allow it to.”

  “So, I have nothing to worry about, because I will never let that loser take me. Never.”

  A shadow crossed his face. I reached up and wrapped my fingers around his wrists. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have called him a loser.”

  His hands slipped down my arms. He sighed, and slid his hands into the front pockets of his lightweight linen-white slacks. A dull ache echoed from my heart out into my limbs. Matthias’ pain. I was still getting used to our deep connection that enabled me to feel his hurts, see his memories, feel him as though we were one.

  I took his hand and shut the bedroom door. I had hopes of him staying with me, and the vision flashed into my head of him holding me in his arms while I slept. My heart pattered. Uh-oh. The drawbacks of your guardian angel being able to hear your thoughts could be humiliating, embarrassing and recklessly human.

  I was beat and was about to collapse from fatigue. Could I help it if I wanted to cuddle with him until I fell asleep? Matthias’ amused gaze shifted for a moment, meeting mine, and my bouncing heart lodged in my throat.

  Cuddle?

  Don’t listen to me. I’m loopy right now.

  As if bricks weighted my arms and legs, I crossed to my bed and flopped, stomach-down, onto the bedspread, my limbs spread like soggy noodles. My eyes closed the minute I smelled my pillow.

  “You’ve had a day.” Matthias’ voice poured over me like an invisible blanket. I closed my eyes.

  The bed shifted when he sat beside me. His light caress on my head soothed any residual anxiety from the day into sweet nothingness. Thank you.

  You’re welcome.

  Matthias’ touch skimmed to my shoulder, tracing lightly to my hand, the electrifying effect shooting tingles through me. I opened my eyes. His were locked on mine, as if waiting. He lifted my hand to his lips and brushed a soft kiss across my knuckles. A flock of hummingbirds flew through my system, shooting flutterings from my fingers to my toes.

  I wet my lips, and when I struggled to sit upright, was reminded by my fatigued muscles that I needed rest. Ignoring them, I remained sitting up.

  “Are you going to stay?” My voice rasped.

  Matthias spoke against my knuckles. “Your wish is my command, remember?”

  A tired laugh scraped out of me. I wish. “No, I mean, will Albert be back?”

  Matthias lowered my hand to his knee and covered it with his other hand. His gaze sobered. “I’m certain he’ll be back. He doesn’t need sleep, Zoe.

  He hopes to wear you down, catch you at your weakest.”

  “Great.” I let out a yawn. “Then I’d better catch some z’s. It’s what—”

  I glanced at the clock on my bedside table, “—only midnight. It’s early yet.” I teased. “Should I sleep with boxing gloves on?”

  “I’m quite serious.”

  “I know you are.” I forced my lowering eyelids up. “I’m being careful.

  And I took care of him tonight. You said yourself I did well. Now that my parents know about you, well, it should be easier, right?”

  He nodded.

  I sent him a lopsided grin. “I ain’t no pushover.”

  Matthias reached out and his fingers pushed back a strand of hair at the side of my face. My head rolled into the palm of his hand, my eyes closed again. Beneath me, the mattress shifted. He moved closer, wrapped his arms around me and we settled against the headboard.

  Is this what you want?

  I nodded, snuggling against the easy rise and fall of his chest, immersed in his heartbeat—a lullaby that carried me into slumber.

  y y y

  My eyes opened to darkness. I lay still, gaze darting around my bedroom for what had awakened me. Used to being ripped from sleep—most of the time because Abria was stirring in her bedroom—I usually got up, checked on her, and fell right back into rest.

  This time, dread filled the air. I threw back the covers, shivering. Stood.

  Muscles moaned for more rest. Was someone in my bedroom? Stop this you spaz. You didn’t invite evil, so it can’t be in your bedroom. But the doom fogging the air was potent, coming from behind my closed bedroom door like some looming apparition straight out of a nightmare.

  I glanced at the clock. I’d slept for two hours? My muscles dissolved into wavering weakness. I couldn’t face Albert like this. I didn’t have the strength.

  But where was he? What was he doing?

  I couldn’t leave my family to his whims. They may know about Matthias, but they still had no idea how powerful Albert was.

  Hands shaking, I crept to the door and cracked it open. Hot, muggy terror filled the hall—like choking invisible smoke. No light came from beneath Abria’s closed bedroom door. My parents’ bedroom was likewise dark.

  A faint glow seeped from beneath Luke’s door. Each step I took drew me closer to the invisible fog of darkness I was becoming familiar with whenever Albert was in the vicinity. Nausea rushed up my throat, mixing with vibrant fear.

  He’s waiting for me.

  My cold, clammy hand wrapped around the knob. You have to see what’s going on, Zoe. You can’t leave Luke alone with him.

  Praying for strength, I closed my eyes. I can do this. Matthias said I can, and I can. And if I was in mortal danger, he’d be here.

  I opened the door and a powerful whoosh of evil pressed into me, as if I’d walked into the fiery steam of hell. The force sucked breath away, sent me back a step. My limbs vibrated as the invisible yet potent force shocked my system. My eyes latched on Albert, pacing back and forth in front of Luke who sat on the floor, his back propped against the side of his bed, his head buried in his hands.

  I advanced into the room, afraid Albert had hurt Luke somehow.

  “There she is.” Albert grinned, his eyes sparkling into slits. “Did I wake you?” The familiar cadence of Matthias’ voice—genetically gifted from Albert, now used as sincerely as a New Orleans voodoo doctor—again threw me off balance. “I certainly hope you were having delicious dreams, Zoe.”

  “You’re disgusting,” I sneered, moving closer to Luke.

  Luke jerked his head left and looked at me as if he hadn’t heard me come in. On the floor around him was a bong and the makings of a mind-blowing smoke session. But I didn’t catch the musky-sweet scent of marijuana in the air.

  “I know,” Luke’s voice was shredded, worn. “I’m a complete loser.”

  I knelt next to him. “I wasn’t talking to you.” I touched his arm. “Did you relapse?”

  He shook his head, scraped his fingers down his face, his gaze on the drugs. “I’m trying not to.”

  Albert’s grin had faded, and he watched with keen interest. “Good,” I said to Luke, shooting Albert a glare. “I’m glad you haven’t used. Want me to take this out of here?”

  Luke took a deep breath, his gaze never leaving the bag of green grassy flakes lying at his side. “No.”

  Albert smiled. “That’s my boy.”

  “Luke.” I reached for the weed and Luke snatched the bag into his possession before I could grab it. “Come on, let me take it so you won’t be tempted.”

  “I’m… I’m still deciding, Z.”

  “The ambivalent heart is so much easier to turn than the resolute,”

  Albert said. “Perfect choice, Luke.”

  “You have to decide not to use.” I gripped his sleeve, reached for the bag, but he held it behind his back, his face sharpening with anger.

  “I didn’t ask you to come in here,” he snapped.

  “Ah, now we’re rolling.” Albert rubbed his hands
back and forth. “A little momentum. Just what I needed.”

  “You shut the hell up!” Crap. I was letting Albert get the best of me. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath.

  “No, you shut up,” Luke’s voice raised a notch. He stood, stuffing the bag into the front pocket of his jeans. “And get out. Why do you always come in here? I didn’t ask you to come in here.”

  I shot to my feet. “Please,” I forced myself to slow. Think. One, two, three, four, five, seven, ten. I blew out a breath. “Okay, you’re right. It’s your decision.”

  “Save me the lecture,” Luke snickered.

  “No lecture.” I softened my voice, pictured Matthias’s serene face in my head. I closed my eyes, partly to see Matthias more clearly, partly to block Albert out of my mind. “Matthias was right about you,” I said, opening my eyes and smiling at Luke.

  Albert stopped pacing. Luke’s eyes held childlike curiosity, and a glimmer of hope lifted my heart.

  “He told me you were strong enough to get through this on your own.”

  “He did?”

  I nodded. I crossed to Luke, the move causing his baby blue eyes to widen. His hand protectively went to the pocket where he’d stashed the weed.

  “I’m not going to take your stuff. This is your thing. Your choice.”

  I wrapped him in a hug. His body went stiff, bringing a grin to my face.

  Seconds stretched by. Finally, his arm went around me and he patted my back lightly with one of his hands.

  “You’re not crying are you?” he asked.

  I squeezed him tighter, amazed that, as children we had hugged each other willingly, often in fun and games as well as real caring. How had the years spread our physical displays of affection so far out of reach? Now, more than anything, he needed to know my love for him was still inside of me.

  “No, I’m not.” I eased back and grinned at him. “I love you, you know that, right?”

  He nodded.

  “Isn’t this precious.” Albert’s hiss slithered into the air around us. I didn’t look at him, didn’t allow his menacing presence to penetrate the love in my heart for Luke.

  “Yes, it is,” I said, keeping my gaze on Luke, fully aware that he would wonder what I was talking about.

  “Is what?” he asked.

  “It’s true that I love you.” I took his hand, stepped back and swung it in the air between us then let go.

  “His heart isn’t fully convinced,” Albert’s voice snuck into my ear. So close, a knot formed in my throat. Still, I didn’t give him the satisfaction of looking at him. He moved into my line of vision, inches away.

  “Nice try, but you can’t read thoughts like Matthias can.”

  “I never said I could,” Luke said.

  “I—I know. I wasn’t—um—forget it. What brought this on, anyway?” I gestured to the pipe lying on the floor.

  Luke shifted feet, shrugged. “Just stuff.”

  “Krissy?”

  Luke’s mop of blond hair swished when he shook his head. “Nah.”

  “The funeral?”

  “Yeah. It’s hard, you know? Sometimes I wonder why I can see Matthias. I mean, you… you’re… special that way. But what am I?”

  “Nothing. Absolutely nothing,” Albert slid close to Luke’s ear. My heart pattered.

  “Somewhere inside you believe in yourself.” I stepped closer. A fight between belief and disbelief thrashed over his young gaze. “Count it as a gift and don’t try to figure it out. Just hold on to it.”

  “Oh, by all means analyze,” Albert hissed in Luke’s ear. I ground my teeth to keep from spouting off at him. Control, control, control.

  “I don’t feel…” Luke hemmed. “Worthy of something so…”

  “And you aren’t.” Albert zigzagged behind Luke. “You’re nothing.

  Absolutely no—”

  “You are worthy.” I grabbed hold of Luke’s sleeves in my clenched fists.

  “Close your eyes.”

  “Z—”

  “Do it.” I tugged. His dark blond lashes fluttered against his cheeks.

  “Picture Matthias.” Albert’s movements behind Luke started to slow but I didn’t take my eyes from Luke’s face. “The light he carries with him. See it.

  Picture it. Feel it.”

  Gradually, Luke’s troubled countenance began to lighten. Albert, watching keenly, slowed to a stop. Still, I ignored the curiosity nibbling at me to look at him and stick my tongue out. The tension drawing Luke’s face taut released like a sail free in the wind.

  “Do you feel it?” I asked.

  Luke nodded slightly. “Yeah. It’s amazing, isn’t it? He’s amazing.”

  “He’s perfect.”

  Albert’s laugh filled the air. “He’s far from perfect. He’s deceiving you, Zoe.” He floated to my right, hanging close like an annoying gnat. “Just like he deceived other women in his life.”

  My heart pinched. I bit my lips to keep from snapping back.

  “Ask him.” He leaned close. “Ask him about the women he savored while he was mortal.”

  My fists clenched. “You sold him out to pay a debt! Your own son!

  You’re pond scum. A freaking leech.”

  Albert cocked his head. What? He’s pretending like he didn’t condemn his own son to death? The air around Albert drew tight. He fixed himself directly behind Luke and stared into my eyes. My heart faltered, I was sure it would stop. The screams of the souls tied in the noose around his neck seeped into the air. Their stretched whiteness writhing in torment nearly stole my fixed gaze from Luke’s, but I remained focused.

  “Z?” Luke’s voice was quiet. He glanced left and right.

  “It’s not you,” I said to him. “I’ll explain later. Don’t freak about it, okay?”

  “Um. If you say so.” Luke dug into his front pocket and pulled out the weed. His arm extended, and he took my clenched fist. My hand relaxed, and he squeezed the bag into my palm.

  “Get rid of it for me.”

  I closed my fingers around the crispy mix and nodded, relief filling my soul. I glared at Albert, whose face remained dark with displeasure.

  “Is Matthias here?” Luke asked with another glance around.

  “No.”

  “Didn’t think you’d talk to him like that.” Luke crossed to his bed and crumpled onto the bedspread. “I’m wasted.”

  The sweet peace of sleep called to me. I wanted this day to be over.

  Wanted to be done with Albert forever. But Albert stood unmoved, so alert and irate I didn’t dare leave Luke’s bedroom.

  I locked my knees, held the weed tight in my fist and refused to budge.

  Silence crept into the room. Time crawled on. I wasn’t sure how many minutes went by, but soon Luke’s deep snore filled the air. Good, he’s asleep. Safe.

  Albert circled me, his pace the slow drip of thick, diseased mucus. His piercing gaze punctured my heart with fear.

  “The beauty of being immortal,” he began, “is you never need rest. You can tease and tempt and taunt as long as you want to.”

  “You’re not immortal, retard,” I snarled. “Matthias is immortal. You only think you’re immortal.”

  Albert threw his head back in a hearty laugh and continued to circle me. “Is that what Matthias told you? That boy was always a good storyteller.”

  “You’re the one who bought the story,” I whispered between teeth. “You think you have a body, but you don’t. You’re nothing but a psycho-ghost-leech living off old memories and feelings because you screwed up.”

  “I like getting under your skin.”

  “You’re not under anything,” I spat, “except the delusion that you have something you don’t.”

  “I’ve no delusions, Zoe, darling.”

  His circling made me dizzy, so I turned in tandem with him, every now and then checking Luke’s sleeping form. “So, you like being owned, is that it?”

  I snickered, livid momentum building in my blood, forging m
y weary muscles to alertness like beaten soldiers called back to the battlefield.

  “You’re mistaken.”

  “No, you’re mistaken. Matthias isn’t taking orders from someone who won’t deliver on his promises. He’s smarter than that. Must have gotten those genes from his mother.”

  Albert stopped. His eyes narrowed just enough to signal fury. A fury I would have missed if I’d blinked. Around us, the air shimmied. My heart flipped in my chest. Is he going to kill me now?

  Matthias?

  Nothing more happened.

  Good, I nailed him. I wanted to slap him. Beat him over the head with a baseball bat. Hang him by that ridiculous tie from the ceiling.

  What the?! I couldn’t believe how carried away my thoughts were. I had to stop the anger, or I’d be no better than Albert.

  “Give yourself to me now and this will end.”

  I shook my head. If I wanted to be rid of him, I had to keep my heart pure. Then, he’d have to leave, wouldn’t he? Wasn’t that why he’d left my parent’s bedroom earlier? The heavy tiredness settling again into my body, dragging me south, shouted I’d better do something fast, or I was going to knock off right there.

  I collapsed to the floor, leaned my back against Luke’s bed and sighed.

  “Leave.” Matthias had used the word and it had worked to dismiss Albert.

  Maybe I could, too.

  Albert towered over me, studying me. His face was impossible to read, and, I was too tired to try. Would he wrap that noose around my neck and drag me to hell with him? Matthias wasn’t here, so I figured the answer was no.

  Then what was happening?

  I looked up at Albert, my eyes growing heavier with each weary blink.

  He remained alert, his eyes fastened with mine.

  “Leave,” I slurred, sleep clawing through me. I thought of Matthias, picturing his serene face, feeling his calming spirit weave through me. In my weary state, the comfort so completely overcame me that I closed my eyes for a moment—just one—to rest, and when I opened them again, Albert was gone.

  Chapter Five

  ____________________

  Someone tapped my shoulder in that annoying way that made me want to scream at them to stop. I didn’t want to move. I was comfortable. Sort of.