Grin and Bear It Read online

  They ran as a group, as one unit, getting their energy out, making sure they were allowing that feral intensity that was housed in their bears to come forth. It was safer for everyone, safer for them.

  After an hour of running they moved through the woods at a more relaxed pace, some of the guys roughhousing with each other, their growls and the snaps of their jaws playful.

  When they reached the tree line where their vehicles and Harleys were parked, one by one they started shifting back into their human forms. They got dressed, the energy still moving through them, among them. They were sweaty, their muscles pumping with blood, their hearts racing from the exhilaration.

  It was midnight, the moon was full, the stillness surrounded them, and the sound of his heart beating was a steady but quick rhythm in Mason’s ears. They were at the edge of Steel Corner, all of the next generation Grizzly members standing side-by-side now, their breathing returning back to normal, their bears still at the surface, ready to be released again with just a thought.

  Mason looked down the line of guys, his brothers, his family. They were all here, all of the males that had stood beside him since the time he could walk. They were bear shifters, men that he’d pledged an oath to that he’d lay down his life for them. He locked stares with Jakob, finding this peace inside of him that they’d reconciled and they were once again brothers in arms, stronger than before.

  Bodhi was the one to speak, to break the silence. “When are we going after them?” He addressed Mason.

  Mason looked at the forest around him, playing that question through his head. He knew where the men who’d fucked with him were, had known they’d stayed in River Run, for whatever stupid reason. Even if, at first, he’d wanted to do this on his own, his vengeance and anger so strong he hadn’t wanted help, not even from his family, the club had kept track of the little bastards for Mason. The police had never been involved, mainly because they hadn’t gotten any leads, no witnesses, and the club and Mason hadn’t said shit. Hell, the cops didn’t know the details about what had happened to Mason aside from the obvious clues they’d picked up at the scene. But Mason had seen the ones who shot him and knew it was the guys from the bonfire that had challenged them.

  He looked at the guys again, knowing that he wanted to do this alone, but also knowing they wouldn’t let him. “Soon. I’m going after them soon.”

  “We’re going after them,” Jakob said. “We do this together. We’re a family.”

  All the guys murmured in agreement. Mason could argue, but he didn’t want to. He wanted these men beside him, wanted their loyalty and brotherly love. This was what being in the club meant, and it was his life. Once he took care of this he wouldn’t have to have it on his mind any longer. He could focus on Ryeissa, being with her, making the time with her special without his vengeance always plaguing him. He had to do this not only for himself, but for his future, the future he wanted with the woman he was falling really damn hard for.

  “We’ll go after them soon, and make sure they realize fucking with the Grizzly MC brings destruction down upon their heads.”

  ****

  Ryeissa knew there was something bothering him from the moment they’d gotten in his SUV. They’d just finished dinner, which had been low-key and not intimate as the restaurant had been packed, but it had been perfect nonetheless. Although she wanted to spend the whole night with him it was already pretty late. She’d gotten off work early today, picking up a dayshift position for some extra money. Her internal clock was all messed up since she usually worked nights. Since she didn’t see herself really sleeping tonight anyway, and because she loved spending time with Mason, she’d invited him out to dinner.

  But her invitation meant that he was the one to pick her up, pick the restaurant, and even pay despite her protests. He didn’t want to think he was a gentleman, or maybe he didn’t see himself as one, but did he realize that he was? Hell, he’d even opened the doors for her tonight. It might have looked a little strange given the fact he was nearing six and a half feet in height, was covered in tattoos and facial scruff, and wore a biker leather vest that deemed him part of the Grizzly MC, but he’d looked good doing it regardless.

  Despite the tension in the vehicle, the obviousness that something was on his mind, Ryeissa kept her mouth shut and allowed him the space it was clear he needed.

  The windows were rolled partially down, the night air cool, seemingly still, even though they were going over sixty miles an hour on this back stretch of road.

  Looking over at him and seeing the hard look on his face, the fact it was clear his mind was full of things, his heart heavy given his tense expression, Ryeissa felt the need to show him some kind of physical contact. She reached out and placed her hand on his thigh, felt the muscles jump, and knew that he hadn’t been expecting it, even if he had senses that were far more attuned than hers.

  He moved his big body slightly on the seat, as if he were uncomfortable all of a sudden. The SUV rushed forward in the darkness. She wanted Mason, wanted him more than she’d ever wanted another guy in her whole life, but taking her time, really getting to know him was smart, too. Although she felt like she knew him, like she knew about the darkness he harbored, she also wasn’t a fool in thinking he didn’t have his own demons.

  His jaw was clenched tight, and she saw a muscle tick beneath the scruffy skin. She went to remove her hand, but he placed his on top of hers. He was steering the vehicle, or at least keeping it straight on the road with his thigh as he held his hand on hers.

  “I like your touch,” he said in a gruff voice, smoothing his fingers over her flesh, and then finally moving his hand back to the steering wheel. “I’m just in a foul fucking mood.” He glanced over at her. “Sorry about the language.”

  She wanted things light between them, didn’t want him to feel like he couldn’t be himself with her, even if that, at times, meant he wasn’t in the best frame of mind. “You don’t need to apologize. I don’t want you to think you can’t be yourself around me, even if you think being yourself is too crude.” She tightened her hand on his thigh. “I like you, all of you, and besides I fucking swear all the time.”

  He let out a burst of laughter, his big body shaking from the force of it. “You’re something else, Ryeissa,” he said, smiling.

  “I hope that’s a good thing,” she said, teasing.

  He glanced at her again, his face taking on a more serious expression. “Yeah, baby. It’s really fucking good.” He moved on the seat again, kept his focus on her for what seemed like a long time, his eyes locked with hers. Maybe she should have told him to watch the road, but the intensity in his gaze was too encompassing for her to care about anything else.

  When he finally looked back at the road she let a breath leave her, not realizing she’d held it in.

  “I don’t really want to go home, Mason. I’d like to spend more time with you.” They hadn’t really spoken about doing anything after dinner, and because he didn’t seem like he really wanted any company tonight she hadn’t mentioned anything else. But she wanted to help his demons, wanted to be the person he could go to if he needed consoling. He had a family, an MC, and he clearly didn’t need her in that department, but she had a feeling the club members didn’t share their emotions. She wanted to be that person for him.

  She could see him smiling, loved that her words had done that to him, broken through that hard exterior of his.

  “I fucking love hearing you say that.”

  “I fucking mean it, too,” she said, swearing back, letting him know he didn’t have to be someone he wasn’t just because of her.

  They both started laughing at the crude words being thrown around, but they sobered when his phone rang. She looked out the window, giving him as much privacy as she could given the fact they were in his SUV.

  “Yeah?” he said, his voice deep, scratchy … all male.

  When a chill slammed into her, goosebumps moving along her arms, she turned her head and looked
at him. Back was the hard mask covering his face, but it was more intense, frighteningly so. The volume was up on his phone enough that she could hear the person on the other end, kind of make out what they were saying.

  “They’re here, Mason,” the muffled, but clearly male voice on the other end of the phone said.

  “You’re sure?” Mason asked.

  “Pretty fucking sure, man.”

  Ryeissa swallowed. She’d read his report while he was in the hospital, knew he’d been shot at, gotten into a motorcycle accident, and that he’d barely held onto his life. It had been a miracle he survived at all. Someone had wanted to kill him, or at least hurt him enough that his life was ruined.

  She’d been so focused on her thoughts that she’d zoned out, and before she knew it he was off the phone. He held the cell in the hand that was gripped onto the steering wheel, and she heard the phone crack in his powerful hold.

  “Mason?” she said his name softly, timidly almost. Taking her hand from his thighs, she clasped her fingers together, feeling this pressure in the SUV, this tightness, frigidness. He was angry. No, angry was too tame a word for the emotions he threw off.

  “I have to take you home. I’m sorry, but I have something that I have to take care of.”

  She wanted to talk to him, to tell him she was here for him, that he didn’t have to do whatever he was going to go do. But she clenched her teeth, knowing now was not the time. She had until she got home to think of a way to talk to him, to make him see her right now, listen to her.

  Ryeissa had to make Mason realize that she wanted to be the person he could always count on, no matter how little time wise they’d known each other. She needed to make him see that if they were going to do this, to be together, they needed to be a team and trust each other.

  Chapter Eleven

  Mason pulled into her driveway, but didn’t cut the engine. He kept his focus forward, hating that he was being an asshole to her right now, but not able to wrap his head around anything other than the phone call he’d just gotten and the fact he was about to make things right.

  He could have taken these guys out sooner, had ways of finding out where they were, lived, and worked. He could have dug deeper, and so could the club, but he’d bided his time, healed, and he knew once the time was right he’d go after them and finish this. But he’d needed to take care of himself first, get himself whole. He’d shifted into his animal already, and his body almost healed, despite his scars. He was ready to end this so he could move on with the woman he’d grown to love more than anything else.

  “Mason, please look at me.”

  He closed his eyes at the soft sound of Ryeissa’s voice. He didn’t want to be like this around her, but he also couldn’t just block out what had plagued him for the last several months. Mason couldn’t hide who he was. He’d always been this easygoing guy, maybe a little hotheaded and ill-tempered at times, especially when drinking, but he felt empty anymore, even though this sweet female was giving him her support.

  He turned and looked at her, the shadows wrapping around her like this thick cloak. She had broken through that exterior he’d covered himself in, used to block everyone else away. She’d been the only one to see through his bullshit, seen him for the man he wanted to be again. At least that’s how he felt, how she made him feel.

  “I’m sorry, but there’s something I have to do.” He didn’t want to get into this with her, didn’t want to tell her all of the baggage he honestly carried. What would she do if he revealed he was going to possibly kill someone? That had been on his mind since the accident, and all he could see was blood and destruction.

  “Mason, whatever you feel you have to do we can talk about it.”

  God, if only it were that simple. He shook his head, turned away from her to face out the windshield, and knew that staying here longer, trying to explain things to her, would only have this night ending badly.

  “I know I haven’t proved myself to you, that I can be trusted—”

  “I trust you,” he said without hesitation, stopping her from continuing. “I trust you completely, Ryeissa.”

  “Then let me help you get through whatever this is. I know it’s about the accident, and that you want to go after whoever hurt you, but I’m here for you. You don’t have to solve anything with violence.”

  “You want me?” he said, changing subjects for a second. She knitted her eyebrows.

  “Of course.”

  “Then you need to really understand, like really fucking understand, that this is who I am.” He curled his hand into a fist and slammed it against his chest. “I am violent to my enemies. I’ll hurt them when they cross me and anyone I care about. I have no problem killing someone who fucks with what’s mine, Ryeissa.” He held her gaze for a long second, letting his words sink in. “You saying I don’t have to solve violence with violence lets me know you don’t really understand who I am.”

  “No, I understand, Mason,” she whispered. “I just think you can be stronger than that. I can help you.”

  He shook his head and laughed humorlessly. “If only it were that simple.” He was getting angrier, needing to get out of here, get away from the one good thing he had going in his life right now—Ryeissa. He didn’t want to screw this up even more, and if he stayed he knew he would. Mason fucking cared about her, loved her. Yeah, after only this short amount of time he fucking wanted her like he’d never wanted a woman before. Did she know he’d die for her, kill for her? “I can’t do this with you right now, Ryeissa.”

  “Why?”

  He closed his eyes and grappled with his control. His bear was right there, pacing, wanting out, wanting to finish this so he could move on. He turned and looked at her, let her see the flash of his bear, and saw her eyes widen. “Because if I talk about this with you anymore I’ll end up ruining this between us because I am so on edge, feeling so raw right now. And I don’t want that.” He was pleading with her in his own hardened way, and when he saw the way her eyes became glossy, saw that she was so emotional right now, baring it all for him, he felt like the biggest damn asshole.

  “I need to go, to do this, and I need you to just not push me.”

  The silence stretched between them.

  “Please, Ryeissa,” he said harder this time, his bear coming out. “I have to fucking go.” His voice was distorted, and although he wasn’t upset with her, his anger over those motherfuckers and the adrenaline pumping through him made him volatile right now. He was becoming more animal than human. His bear would never hurt her, and neither would his human, but he knew he’d scare her, and he didn’t want that.

  “I want you to know that if you would have given me a chance I could have been there for you, tried to help you work through this. I would have been by your side, Mason. It might not have been in the way you liked, but I wouldn’t have turned my back on you.”

  That sounded like a final goodbye, like she realized she couldn’t handle it. Her emotions thickened the air between them, a mixture of her sadness, annoyance, frustration, and the fact she cared for him. But the latter was buried deep beneath the others, and he knew he’d fucked this up because of his own selfish, hardheaded reasons. Despite that he still couldn’t be a man and put his anger aside for her, for the woman he cared about.

  She was out of the car before he could say anything, even if he had planned on it. He watched her walk up the front steps and opened her front door. And without looking back at him she stepped in her house and shut the door, closing him off, ending it. He didn’t know if that was it between them, but if it was he’d brought it on himself.

  Chapter Twelve

  “You see those bastards?” Jakob said, sitting beside Mason in the passenger side of his SUV.

  Mason had come straight to the bar that he’d been told those little assholes were at. The other Grizzlies were still inside, but Jakob and Bodhi were in the vehicle with him, waiting for the soon to be dead fuckers to leave.

  “Odin will give us the
call when they’re heading out, but I just got a text saying they are still drinking pretty heavily at the bar. Clearly they don’t remember the guys still inside from when they tried to go up against us at the party,” Bodhi said, leaning forward and having the leather seat creak from the weight and action. “That or they are the stupidest motherfuckers in the world.”

  Mason just gave a low grunt, kept his focus on the front doors of the bar, and felt like he was about to tear right through his skin.

  “What’s the plan?” Jakob asked. “You going to go grizzly on their ass or do this straight up human?”

  Mason rolled his head around his neck, cracked his knuckles, and felt the adrenaline and endorphins of the coming fight rush through him. “I’m not going to shift and take them out. That would be too easy. I want to make them suffer.”

  There was a murmured grunt from Jakob and Bodhi.

  “You want to smoke before we do this?” Bodhi asked.

  Mason shook his head without taking his gaze off the bar. “I want a clear head when I do this.” Mason wanted to experience all of this, wanted to make these assholes hurt, make them realize that when they fucked with the Grizzlies they were going to get dead.

  The sound of Bodhi’s cell vibrating had Mason sitting up straighter.

  “It’s Odin. He says they’re moving. The rest of the club will be right behind and will follow us.”

  Mason started the SUV and stared at those front doors as if he could will them open. A second later they burst outward, and the three motherfuckers that had tried to crash their party stumbled out. Even from across the street Mason could hear their loud, drunken conversation. He remembered looking into the windshield of the truck right before he’d gone down, remembered seeing those assholes, could practically smell their excitement over everything as the bullets tore through Mason’s body.

  They climbed into the same truck they’d been in all those months ago, the same truck Mason had pictured over and over again. He clenched his hands around the steering wheel, feeling it creak from the pressure, threatening to break.