Grin and Bear It Read online

  Chapter Five

  “Hit it harder, Mason,” Bodhi said and held the punching bag.

  Mason was standing up, had his feet braced apart, and was going to town on the red, busted as fuck, and duct taped punching bag. Sweat covered his forehead, dripped onto his bare chest, but he wasn’t going to stop. He wouldn’t stop until he couldn’t even breathe.

  The other Grizzly guys were working out. Even some of the Originals were at the gym that had been erected behind the Grizzly MC clubhouse.

  “Let’s do the weights for a little bit, Mason,” Bodhi said and steadied the bag. Mason straightened, breathed in and out hard, and looked around the room. Even his old man, Court, was over by the weights with Jagger and Drevin. Court was a beast, pumping the iron up and down over his head, his old man’s massive chest rising and falling from the force of his breathing.

  Hell, they were all damn beasts, but that’s what made them powerful, dangerous.

  “Come on, let’s lift,” Bodhi said and slapped Mason on the back.

  They moved over to the weights, albeit slowly as hell because of Mason’s legs, but he pushed through all of that. Every day he was getting stronger, getting better and healing, and right now that’s what he had to focus on. Mason sat on the bench, and stretched his arms out before lying down. He wrapped his fingers over the grooved bar above him, checked out the weights on either side, and inhaled deeply.

  For the next ten minutes he pumped the weights up and down, took a few breaks, let his muscles relax before starting again, and he felt the power move through him. His body burned, strained, and his bear became stronger.

  “When are you able to shift?” Bodhi asked from above him, spotting Mason.

  “The doctor wanted me to wait until I was healed more, which I should be good to go now.”

  Bodhi nodded. “You sure, though? I mean you’re really kicking ass in working out and your PT, but you don’t want to strain yourself, man.”

  “I’m fine. Until I’m back to the way I was I’ll keep doing what I’m doing.”

  Bodhi shrugged and kept his mouth shut as he continued to spot him. After a few more minutes Mason’s body was screaming for a reprieve. Bodhi grabbed the weights and set them back on the bar. Mason sat up, grabbed his towel, and dried his face and chest off. As he was wiping off his forehead and running the rag over his hair the sound of the front doors opening and of Jakob’s deep voice coming through had everything in Mason freezing. He set the towel down on his thigh, was still trying to catch his breath from the workout, but had his focus on the man he’d thought of as a brother his entire life.

  The regret Mason felt every time he saw or thought of Jakob was there, but as he saw his once close friend, brother in arms, walk through those doors smiling at something Ben said to him, anger rose up like a fucking beast inside of him, going to war with his bear and all common sense. Mason might have inadvertently fucked some chick Jakob had wanted, but he’d nearly died, and this bastard hadn’t even come and checked on him during his hospital stay.

  Mason rose, feeling stronger than he had in a long damn time, and felt his animal push forward. He needed to shift, but there was a part of him that was hesitant because he worried he would set himself back. But even so he needed to control himself right now. Maybe Jakob had a good reason for not seeing Mason at the hospital, but not even a fucking phone call had gone down from the brother.

  Jakob stopped a few feet away from where Mason stood, both males staring at each other and the gym seeming to go still, silent.

  For a solid minute, or it seemed that way at least, Jakob and Mason just glared at each other. The tension was thick, the air hot from their emotions, and he knew right here wasn’t the time or place to start anything. He was feeling guilt over what he’d done, would always feel that, but he was also pissed at how things had played out, and how long it had stayed that way.

  “I’m not fucking doing this,” Mason said, but it was mainly to himself. He didn’t have time to deal with an altercation with a fellow Patch, and even if they did get into it, the club would stop it. They had to because they were a family, and should be sticking together.

  Mason moved past Jakob and Ben, grabbed his duffle that was in the corner, and pushed the doors open. The sun was bright, slightly blinding him for a moment, and he walked further toward the main clubhouse. He’d take a shower and hit up Link for Ryeissa’s info. Yeah, he said he’d stay away, but he wanted to see her right now. He needed to see her. It might be another royal screw up on his part, going after her when he didn’t even have his life in order, but he didn’t care about anything right now aside from forgetting about the negative shit in his life.

  He braced a hand on the side of the club, the brick hard, cold. One of the spots where he’d been shot, on his thigh, had barely missed his femoral artery. It ached like a motherfucker. He’d also been shot in the chest, which had been what he’d initially felt. Those assholes must have shot him again for good measure, but Mason had been so out of it that he hadn’t felt it.

  He ran his hand over the healing gunshot wound and felt his legs tingle because he’d probably pushed himself too hard these past few days. Shaking off the discomfort he walked around to the front of the club and stepped inside. Yeah, he’d go see Ryeissa, because he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about her since he left. She might put him in his place, turn his ass down, but he wouldn’t stop, because he’d never wanted a female like he wanted her, and Mason wasn’t about to ignore that any longer.

  ****

  Jakob stood there, his teeth clenched, his anger rising. He was frustrated, upset with himself and all the shit that had gone down. The situation with Mason had been going on for a long time, and although he was the type of male that held a grudge, things had changed. He’d changed. He’d been a bastard after Mason’s accident, not calling him, and not seeing him when he was conscious. No one even knew he’d gone to see Mason while he’d been sedated. He hadn’t told anyone that he’d gone and seen the other Grizzly, not because he was ashamed, but because he didn’t know how shit would play out in the end.

  That was a douchebag thing to think and feel, and Jakob was an asshole for not pushing his pride away, but he couldn’t change the way he was, the way he felt. He lifted his head, not realizing he’d been staring at his workout sneakers, running his gaze over the laces, and thinking about how everything had gone so wrong in such a short time. He looked at the males in front of him, at the Grizzly members that he’d die for. They’d always had his back, always would.

  No one said a thing to him, but they were smart. This was between him and Mason. It needed to end, needed to get aired out without the fists flying and their rage getting in the way.

  He turned and left the gym, walked across the concrete, passed their Harleys, and went into the clubhouse. He saw Mason sitting at the bar alone, a shot glass and bottle of scotch in front of him. It was early, but it was clear he was having a hard time.

  Taking a deep breath Jakob moved toward the other male and sat beside him. Mason didn’t look at him, and instead kept drinking and gripping onto the neck of the bottle, his knuckles white.

  “Man, Jakob, I’m not in the mood to go at it. Let me finish this and then we can finish this, if that’s what you want.” Mason drank straight from the bottle, and kept his focus forward.

  For a second Jakob didn’t say anything, but then he turned on the barstool and stared at Mason. “I don’t want to go at it, Mason.”

  Mason stopped from bringing the bottle to his mouth, set it down, and held Jakob’s gaze.

  Jakob looked at the scarred top of the bar, at the wear from the years of partying, of being together as a family.

  “I know all the shit between us has put this wall up, but, Jakob, man, I was in the fucking hospital and you didn’t come—”

  “I did come and see you.” He saw the surprise on Mason’s face before it was quickly covered by his ever-present stoic expression. Mason was the hothead of the group, t
he one that didn’t give a fuck about anything, and lived like each day was his last. He drank heavily, partied harder than most of the guys, it seemed, but he always had a Patch’s back. “Let me see that,” Jakob said and gestured toward the bottle of scotch.

  Once Mason handed it to him he took a long swig from it. He set the bottle on the bar, swallowed what was left in his mouth, and nodded.

  “It was when you were first taken to the ICU, and before I had to leave town to help that charter.” Jakob stared at Mason, not revealing how he felt inside through his expressions. “You were out, in a coma, or sedated, or some shit, but I came and saw you knowing that I had to. I sat with you for a long while, talking to you, apologizing.”

  “Shit, Jakob.”

  Jakob grunted, and gave a slow nod. “Even after I left I was getting updates from the guys on your recovery.”

  Mason stayed silent, but watched him.

  “But then I left, got wrapped up in helping the charter. But that’s not a damn excuse.” He turned and faced the front of the bar again. “I didn’t call, didn’t make a better effort at coming and seeing you again after you were on the mend, and I’m a motherfucker for that.”

  “No, I fucked up, Jakob—”

  “Listen, you screwing that chick was wrong, but I know you were drunk and didn’t know what you were doing.” He faced Mason again. “I know, Mason, but I’m stubborn and wanted to stay pissed because I didn’t want to feel anything else. It was an asshole move, one that I can’t take back.” He looked into Mason’s blue eyes. “I want to say I’m sorry, too. I should have called, should have gotten over all of this, as well. It’s too late, nothing can be changed, but fuck, man…”

  Mason nodded.

  “I hated seeing all those tubes attached to you, hated seeing you so weak. It fucking sucked, and I felt like an even bigger bastard for turning and leaving.”

  The silence stretched between them.

  “I wish you would have come by, or at least called once I was up. It fucking sucked, Jakob, sucked that I didn’t have all of my family.”

  Jakob nodded. “Yeah, it has sucked. We shouldn’t have been at each other’s throats. I want to put all the crap that has been going on between you and I for the last few months behind us.”

  Mason scrubbed a hand over his hair and breathed out, but Jakob’s bear scented the relief coming from the other male. “I want to put that shit in the past, far back there, man. I want my brother back, Jakob.”

  Jakob nodded and clapped Mason on the back.

  They were silent for a moment, but then Mason cleared his throat and Jakob knew he was going to bring up the female that had come between them all those months ago. He smelled that realization in the air.

  “Did you want her as your old lady?” Mason asked.

  Jakob was silent for a moment, lowered his head so he could stare at the bar again, but finally shook his head. “Nah, man, but I thought I saw things going further. I thought she’d be loyal, that she felt something more for me. It was clear she just wanted her loose ass cunt filled by a Patch.” He breathed out, feeling his anger for that bitch rise as well. She hadn’t been drunk, had known what she was doing, and he fucking hated her for that.

  “You still talk to her?”

  “Fuck no,” Jakob said. “That bitch got kicked to the curb. She only wanted to be an old lady, and didn’t care which member it was with.” He grabbed the bottle and took another swig.

  “Shit, I’m sorry.”

  “I should be the one apologizing again, Mason. That chick got between us when she shouldn’t have. But the fact I let my pride and anger stand in the way between us for so long is fucked. I just want to get back to the way things used to be.”

  “I’ll drink to that,” Mason said and grabbed two shot glasses, took the bottle of scotch, and poured them both a drink. They tossed back the whiskey, and Jakob felt like maybe things could be the way they were, that they could be the way they were before some bitch and his pride got in the way.

  “You still going after them?” Jakob asked, not saying their names, because he knew Mason would know what he was talking about.

  Mason took a second to answer, even took another shot. He nodded once and said, “Fuck yeah I am.”

  And they’d have his back, the whole club.

  Chapter Six

  Ryeissa washed the last dish in her sink, rinsed it off, and set it on the drainer. She stared out the window, knowing that she should be doing something a hell of a lot more productive than washing dishes that weren’t even dirty as she thought about Mason. It had been nearly a week after his release from the hospital, and she hadn’t been able to stop thinking about him. She knew his last name, could have easily looked him up or gone to the MC, but she was afraid. She was not scared of him, or his club, but of these intense feelings she had for a man she didn’t know.

  You know him. You took care of him, saw the pain he held inside and didn’t want to show. You know him better than you realize.

  When she’d gone into his room the day before he’d been released she had hoped, prayed a little even, that this feeling she had for him wasn’t just one way. But he’d let her walk out of the room, hadn’t revealed anything to her, and she’d felt like an idiot for her emotions toward him. He had things to worry about in his life, probably women falling at his feet, and being with her probably was the last thing on his mind.

  The feeling of soft fur moving against her leg had her looking down and seeing Mr. Tubs, her “slightly” overweight cat rubbing up against her.

  “What, buddy?” She picked up the cat, his chunky physique having a little huff to come from her when she picked him up. He was a big boy, a housecat in every sense of the word, but he was her companion. Living alone was lonely, and although she had offers from some of the male nurses at the hospital and even one from a doctor, they all came out lackluster in the end.

  But then she’d felt something pretty damn electric when she’d taken care of Mason, and she hadn’t been able to shake her feelings. She needed to, though, because wanting a man that she had no future with, that clearly wasn’t interested, was going to end up leading her down a road of pretty hard realization.

  Who are you kidding? You’ve already realized that you need to get him out of your head.

  “I think I’m losing my mind, Mr. Tubbs.” She scratched under the cat’s neck, and Tubbs purred loudly. As she was about to set him on the ground the sound of an engine coming closer had her turning and looking out the kitchen window again. The flash of chrome was what caught her attention first, but the closer the big SUV came down the street the more she felt her heart start to pound faster. She didn’t know why, didn’t know why she felt this rush of adrenaline move though her, but it was pretty intense inside of her.

  And when that dark SUV pulled into her driveway, cut the engine, and she watched as the front door opened, she knew who she’d seen.

  No, you hope it’ll be a specific someone.

  Yeah, she did.

  The first thing she saw when the driver’s side door opened was big, black biker boots. Lifting her gaze up the denim that covered the legs, she saw the door move out of the way as it was shut, and felt her throat tighten. Standing there wearing a pair of jeans, a dark t-shirt, and his leather biker cut, Mason was looking at her house. He wore dark sunglasses, clearly couldn’t see her at this angle from where she was looking out her kitchen window, but it was like the world stopped spinning for just a moment.

  The sound of Mr. Tubbs purring loudly cut into her haze, but she couldn’t move, not even to set him on the ground. And then Mason moved toward her house, and she felt this anticipation and nervousness fill her.

  “Shit, what should I do, Tubbs?”

  The cat meowed in response.

  “You’re no help.” She scratched under his ear, set him on the ground, and started walking toward her front door. When she was a few feet from it there were three hard knocks on the wood. She actually stopped, her heart fe
eling like it would burst through her chest for how hard it was beating.

  She turned and saw her reflection in the mirror in the living room. God, she looked a hot mess. Her hair was in this “just rolled out of bed and didn’t give a shit” bun, and her clothes consisted of an oversized shirt that hung off one of her shoulders, had a pocket right over one of her breasts that was like a neon sign, and a pair of yoga pants that had Mr. Tubbs’s hair all over it.

  Yeah, hot mess pretty much covered how she looked, and Mason was right on the other side of that door about to see her in all of her gorgeous—heavy sarcasm—glory.

  The glass on the front door allowed her to see his large, imposing frame. When she heard another knock she moved toward the door, gripped the handle, and pulled it open. For a second all she did was stand there, her hand wrapped tightly around the doorknob, so tight in fact it started to become painful. Her heart was beating fast, sweat starting to dot her flesh, and she knew Mason could see all of this, hell, probably smell her body’s reaction to him. He was, after all, a bear shifter, and these types of things wouldn’t go unnoticed by him.

  He stood on the other side of the door, his sunglasses concealing his eyes, and the scruff along his jaw making him look so damn raw and sexy. The sheer size of him was able to take her breath away if not for the fact she couldn’t breathe as it was.

  “It’s probably weird that I’m standing here, right?” he said in that deep, slightly serrated voice of his. It sent a shiver along her spine, had goosebumps forming on her arms, and she told herself to get control of herself or she’d look like a fool.

  When she didn’t respond, because honestly she didn’t know what to say, didn’t even know if she could have formed a word right now, he lifted his hand and rubbed the back of his neck. He looked over at his SUV, and the awkwardness bounced between them.

  “Shit, it is weird. I should have called, but then again that would have been just as strange since you never gave me your number.”

  Of course she wondered how he’d known where she lived, but she reminded herself this was a man from the Grizzly MC, and he had to have connections in finding out information. That should have bothered her, worried her at the least, but the truth was she didn’t feel anything like that. There were no warning bells going off, no fight or flight instinct telling her that this man could be, and probably was, dangerous to her. All she felt was that warmth and crazy attraction for him. And they didn’t have the patient and nurse relationship any longer, so she didn’t have to feel that guilt that what she wanted with him, what she felt for Mason, was wrong.