The Devil's Concubine Read online

  “Breathless, I asked him. ‘Tell me. You have to tell me. Who are you? Who was he?’

  “He responded gently, ‘You know who we are. We’re angles.’

  “My eyes flew open. My heart pounded with such force I barely understood what he had said.

  “ ‘I saw his wings,’ I murmured, not to him, but rather to myself as if it were a private thought. “ ‘I saw his white wings and the bright light surrounding him, like some powerful fire. His vision was much more impressive than what I’ve seen in paintings. You’re not an angel. Where are your wings?’

  “ ‘What you saw wasn’t real,’ he responded with tenderness. ‘He doesn’t really have wings. You were hoping to see them and it was important to him for you to see them. He wanted to fascinate you, control you, seduce you, so he made you see what you saw. His wings disappeared and the light disappeared, remember? That was what he really looked like.’

  “He grew silent and observed my dazed and blank expression.

  “ ‘Only birds have wings,’ He added with a faint smile.

  “ ‘You’re an angel?’ I repeated, more for how deeply unsettled I felt than for any kind of doubt I still had. ‘But you look human. I can see you, I can touch you...’

  “ ‘I look human, but I’m not. My body feels like yours but we’re not made out of the same matter.’

  “ ‘But you aren’t a hallucination, like his wings were. You’re real, right?’ I asked him in desperation. He responded, ‘Yes, I’m real. As real as you are.’

  “ ‘Who was he? I could sense you hated him.’ He looked down as though he hated to have to answer me. Then he looked around the empty temple, pensive and doubtful.

  “ ‘He’s one of my brothers,’ he answered in an insecure voice. ‘He..., yearned to meet a woman. Do you understand?’

  “ ‘You took me there to give me to him?’ I asked in anger. He simply nodded his head.

  “ ‘But, why?’ I cried. ‘I thought you wanted me but you were looking for a present. You used me as a gift. Is that it?’ I asked, raising my voice. ‘Are these the kinds of gifts angels give each other?’

  “ ‘Calm down, please.’ He grabbed my hand and put his arm over my shoulders. ‘You don’t understand. I will never let anyone hurt you again.’

  “Openly crying, I asked, ‘Why did you do it? Why?’

  “ ‘It was the price I had to pay,’ he responded.

  “ ‘Why? What for?’

  “ ‘It was the only way he would let me return to our realm, to the place our Father had confined us and from where I had escaped.’

  “ ‘So why did you want to go back there?’ I asked.

  “ ‘I could no longer stand being around mortals; I wanted to forget them, never see them again. But my brother thinks this world is his private kingdom.’

  “ ‘So why didn’t you ask God, your Father, for help?’ I asked him naively.

  “His voice broke while he responded, ‘God doesn’t want me anymore. He... got mad at me.’ It seemed as if his eyes had filled with tears but it was just my imagination, a false impression. But his suffering was profound and genuine.

  “ ‘Well,’ I responded moved to pity by his pain. ‘You’ll see, he’ll forgive you soon. God is merciful; he forgives everything when we repent. Have you asked for forgiveness?’

  “He smiled sweetly and nodded his head.

  “ ‘And he didn’t forgive you?’ I asked him, surprised by God’s contempt toward his fellow creature. ‘Well what did you do wrong?’

  “He looked at me amazed as though he had been placed into a completely unexpected situation. He simply stated, ‘I didn’t obey his laws and he punished me. He imprisoned me and my brothers here on Earth so we could witness its destruction.’

  “ ‘Please don’t suffer. He’ll forgive you soon. You’ll see.’ I tried to console him.

  “ ‘I haven’t done much to deserve forgiveness,’ he said with a sweet thin smile.

  “Then he lowered his eyes and his face darkened when he asked, ‘Do you understand who I really am?’

  “Without hesitation, I responded, ‘Perfectly.’

  “He looked up and stared into my eyes, into my soul.

  “ ‘You’re one of the fallen angels. A... devil.’

  “ ‘That’s just a stupid name human’s gave us. You don’t have anything to be afraid of,’ he assured me.

  “ ‘I know,’ I whispered. ‘I’ve always known.’

  “I was surprised I didn’t feel frightened. I was with a demon, he himself just confessed it, and the only thing I could think about was how close he was to me, how I started to feel strangely nervous and how I wanted to console him, hug him, kiss him, make him my own. I gathered my courage and asked, ‘Who was he? The prince of demons? What do you call him? Lucifer? Satan?’

  “ “His real name is Eonar,’ he responded. ‘and anything you think you know about him, about us, is wrong.’

  “He stroked my hair while I simply watched him, frozen and enraptured, enjoying every blink of his eyes, enjoying their slow movement as they watched his hands slowly caressing my hair. Not only my heart, but also my very soul desired him. Little by little, a burning fire ignited in my chest, taking hold of me. I started to feel the pull of a wild, prohibited, and unnatural love. My blood flowed from my heart to my head and ran through my veins like molten lead. He took my face in his hands and looked at me silently and intently with his bright eyes. Something urged me to do the same, to take his face in my trembling hands. My head was spinning, I felt weak. I asked myself, ‘Does he suffer as much as I do?’ And I thought about hell and the damnation I would suffer for committing such a terrible mortal sin, such a crime against nature. But hell seemed like paradise if he were to be there, if I could at least look into his face while suffering the horrible torture. Oh, only if that crazy preacher from Saint-Ange could have seen me in that moment. If I had known then what I knew now, his sermons would have had little effect on me! I lowered my eyes to his lips, moved by emotions I had never felt before. His lips were deep red, full, and so deliciously appetizing. I felt my head slide weakly between his hands and my lips searched for his. My heart pounded painfully as I felt his warm sweet breath. I inhaled his breath, intoxicated by desire, as if I could breathe in his soul. In my hungry yearning, I embraced him, pressed and squeezed him against my chest, against my entire being. We didn’t kiss, but our warm breath did more than entice us. What did it matter if my soul were condemned? Throw me in hell if my lover is my punishment!

  “Suddenly, his hands separated us a few centimeters and he put an end to the ecstasy I had felt. My sorrowful eyes gazed into his greenish blue eyes, which were filled with sadness and worry.

  “ ‘Hell is a human creation,’ he assured me. ‘It doesn’t exist. No one is in charge of inflicting cruel punishments onto a mortal’s body or immortal soul. I don’t know how to explain the place where I took you. You’re not ready to understand it. It’s a place on earth that mortals can’t go.’

  “I was shocked. Surely, he had heard my thoughts.

  “ ‘Not your thoughts,’ he said. ‘I can look into your soul. I see it through the eyes of an angel as I see your body with the eyes of my immortal flesh. Through your soul, I know everything about you. I know your soul has had a short life in your body and I know everything that happened to it before it entered your body. It’s beautiful. So beautiful.’

  “I couldn’t get over the shock, the fear I felt at such an invasion on my most intimate being. He smiled openly at my thoughts. What a sweet captivating smile!

  “I thought, ‘Go to the depths of my soul, my angel. Do it! I’ll be your lover, your slave! But don’t leave me, don’t ever leave me. Hell exists, of course it exists. You pulled me out of it and delivered me unto the glory of your embrace, of your presence. Don’t leave me, I beg you. paradise, Eden, and heaven itself is wherever you may be.’

  “ ‘I never want to go back to that place. It terrifies me,’ I confessed.


  “ ‘You won’t go back there but Eonar will try to get revenge,’ he whispered. ‘He wants to conceive a mortal child, but he hates being around humans. That’s why I took you to him. It was my obligation to bring him a suitable woman for his intentions. This is the price he wanted me to pay to return to my own kind and free myself from mortals. I brought him several women before you and he hated all of them. Not one was good enough, not one worthy enough to carry his child. He sensed the love we feel for each other and his envy compelled him to choose you. I should have never taken you there. Never. I was blind. Blinded by the hate I feel toward this world and I paid for it with the only mortal I didn’t hate, however much I wanted to. Can you understand that?’

  “ ‘I think so.’

  “ ‘We’re leaving now. We have to escape or he’ll find us. But we can’t go to a different place because it won’t take him long to find us. We have to go to another time. It will be harder for him to track us. Do you understand?’ I shook my head no. ‘We’re going forward in time a few years, not many, forty or sixty. What year are we in? Twelve hundred... twenty?’

  “ ‘Twelve,’ I stammered barely comprehending anything he was saying.

  “ ‘Ok, well. We’ll go to the year twelve hundred and sixty or eighty. You don’t have anything to lose. Nothing binds you to this era. All your loved ones are already dead.’

  “I suddenly remembered Geniez.

  “ ‘Your friend fought hard to find his destiny,’ he told me, appearing to be somewhat bothered. ‘Let’s leave him to enjoy it. He’ll know how to find God’s mercy, right?’

  “I agreed. And I knew Deacon would do well with his new owners who took him in with such fondness. But I would always miss him...

  “ ‘I’m not sure I understand everything you’re saying but I’ll do anything you say as long as I don’t lose you. I couldn’t bear that. I couldn’t endure life without you. If you were to leave me now, suicide would be a blessing, a relief that I wouldn’t have any doubts fulfilling, no matter how much of a coward I may be.’

  “ ‘No!’ he screamed, suddenly startled. ‘Listen to me. You must not do that. Ever. Do you understand? Ever. If we are ever separated, I’ll look for you wherever you may be. I promise you, I’ll do it. Whatever happens, you must not end your life. I’ll always keep my promise. Believe me.’

  “ ‘But what if you leave me, what if you get tired of me or I disgust you when I get old...’

  “ ‘I’m never going to leave you. Your life is so short!’

  “ ‘Will I get old?’ I quickly asked, seized with a sudden horror.

  “ ‘When?’ he asked, startled.

  “ ‘When... we go forward in time, in twelve hundred and seventy.’

  “ ‘No, you’ll be the same as now. I’m not going to rob you of any years of your life,’ he said and caressed me gently.

  “ ‘You’re very beautiful for a devil,’ I joked and smiled at him. ‘You don’t have horns, or a tail, or hooves... Do you not have them or did you get rid of them so you wouldn’t frighten me?’

  “His eyes shown like stars and his teeth like pearls when he laughed. ‘Of course, I got rid of them. You don’t expect me to walk around frightening mortals with my appearance?’

  “Although I was almost certain he was joking, I couldn’t help but get scared.

  “ ‘Don’t worry. That’s just another human invention. This is what I looked like when I was born and I can assure you that all of my kind are the same.’

  “I watched him fascinated, pleased that I had made him laugh. His eyes seemed more angelic than ever. I rested my head against his shoulder and relished the smell of his neck. Such a delicious, strong, warm and fragrant neck.

  “ ‘That’s it,’ he said although I could barely hear him. ‘Sleep.’

  –IV–

  “I still had his smooth skin in my hands and his smell in my nose when I realized that, for some moments, I had succumbed to a sweet stupor.

  “ ‘When will we go, Shallem?’ I asked, fighting to stay awake.

  “ ‘We’ve already gone,’ he answered in a slightly playful tone.

  “ ‘Where to?’ I asked, not knowing.

  “ ‘To then.’ He searched my face.

  “ ‘To then?’ Stunned I looked around me. Outside the sun shined just as brightly and the temperature was just as hot as it had been a few moments ago. The same sand blanketed the temple’s floor, the same eroded columns led outside.

  “ ‘You’re joking. We’re in the same place... the same time. Nothing has changed in this temple.’

  “ ‘Maybe that’s why I like it. For its quasi-eternal immutability, for its distinctive strength against the passage of time, never surrendering to time. Everything human is so brief, so perishable, so changeable! In this region on earth, you find humanity’s most successful architecture that gives the ruthless hands of nature and time its greatest challenge. That is why I like to be here. The dessert changes subtly and everything within it changes more slowly. Hardly anything changes for thousands of years. This is important for those of us who watch the world through immortal eyes.’

  “ ‘So it is true? We’ve already done it?’ I asked perplexed.

  “ ‘Yes,’ he responded, smiling at my confusion.

  “ ‘I don’t notice anything special. I’m the same. Exactly the same. How much time has passed?’

  “ ‘For us, none at all.’

  “ ‘And for the world?’ I asked, incredulous.

  “ ‘I don’t know exactly how long in human time. Some seventy years, I think. It doesn’t matter that much, does it?’

  “ ‘Will everyone I know be dead? Geniez, Celine and her brothers... Do you think the crusaders will rescue them?’

  “ ‘Perhaps,’ he answered compassionately although he didn’t think so whatsoever nor did he care.”

  “You’re very quiet, Father.” The woman noticed while taking a brief break from her story.

  Father DiCaprio watched her with his muscles tensed, his legs crossed, and his chest pressed against the edge of the table.

  “You forbid me to speak. Remember?”

  “Yes, well I just didn’t want you to distract me with your human skepticism while I tried to remember the beginning of my life. Now I’d like to know something. Do you believe anything I’m telling you?”

  The priest lowered his gaze as though he were considering and gauging his answer carefully.

  “I see that you don’t.” the woman said. “Why would I lie to you?”

  He lifted his eyes and studied her serene face.

  “Maybe you’re joking, having fun at my expense by using that obvious imagination of yours. Are you trying to make fun of something specific? The Church, humanity, the entire world, or just me?”

  The woman fixed her intense, blazing blue eyes on him.

  “There is another option your stubborn brain refuses to consider,” she said quietly. “That all I’ve said is true. That I’m a repentant sinner and your my confessor. I’m not God or Jesus Christ, if I were I would perform a miracle to convince you. I’m just a weak mortal like you. I can only ask, humbly, that you have faith that I’m not lying. If you won’t have faith, what hope do I have of receiving your pardon, your blessing, or your reassurance when I finish my confession?”

  The priest watched her closely, as if he were looking for some sign, some gesture of betrayal in her face. He couldn’t see one.

  “You’re a religious man. You’ve studied the Bible and you must believe it.” she said, directing her gaze at the small Bible the priest had placed on top of the table and was caressing with his hand.

  “Isn’t it all dogma? The Bible speaks of angels. Please, may I? I’d like to remind you of something.”

  Suspicious, the priest placed the book into her out stretched hand and watched, relieved, as she delicately turned the very fine pages with her fingers. “Here it is,” she said. “I’ll read it to you word for word. Genesis VI: ‘And it came to pass, when men beg
an to multiply on the face of the earth, and daughters were born onto them, that the Sons of God saw the daughters of men that they were fair; and they took them wives of all which they chose... when the Sons of God came in unto the daughters of men, and they bare children to them, the same became mighty men which were of old, men of renown.’ “

  The woman lifted her gaze and offered the priest the Bible.

  “Do you want to read it yourself?” she asked.

  The priest took the Bible and by force of habit brought it up to his eyes.

  “Perhaps you blindly believe it to be true, or maybe your opinion goes beyond simple doubt. Anyway, I’m sure there’s no argument capable of unquestionable refuting Biblical passages. You may doubt, but you can’t deny. Am I right?”

  “I suppose so.”

  “Then you admit there’s a possibility that angels and women can have sexual relationships, since the Bible confirms it. And is there a verse that I may have skipped that limits these interspecies relationships to a specific time period? Does the Bible state that the relationships end during some era or that they end at all? It doesn’t state anything in this regard, does it? It doesn’t have to suggest anything specifically or indirectly because what matters is not the continuity of the relationships but rather their end and I’m afraid that as long as women remain on Earth, they will never end.”

  “Viewed in this way it seems logical, possible,” said the priest, unsettled. “But it’s so... so... unnatural... I don’t know. Did you say his appearance was so human and masculine that you couldn’t tell him apart from other men?”

  “Yes, that’s right. The Bible states that this is their natural appearance. Let’s continue in Genesis, for example. Do you remember when God approached Abraham with two angels? He sat at the door of the tent in the heat of day and he lifted his eyes and looked, and then three men stood by him. This is what is told in Genesis, and then some versus later, these two angels go to Sodom and are invited into Lot’s house where they eat dinner peacefully and get ready to stay the night until the Sodomites violently barge into the house. They had confused the angels, such was their mortal appearance, with ordinary humans whom they wanted to know carnally. ‘Where are the men which came in to thee this night? Bring them out unto us, that we may know them.’ They asked Lot who had gone into the street to speak with them. But he knew their intentions and refused to do it. Only when Lot is attacked by them do the angels show their powers by immediately blinding all the Sodomites. Extremely cruel, for sure, since the angels weren’t considered to be “Fallen”. Let me see it, let me see the Bible for a second, please.”