Surviving ELE (ELE Series #4) Read online

I’m taken aback by his actions. I’ve seen Alec angry before, but it still seems like such a flip from his usual relaxed persona. It’s unnerving to have his anger directed at me. I find myself moving away from him until my back is up against a wall.

  With nowhere left for me to go, he steps forward, closing the gap between us. “How dare you say you are going to go after him alone? What is your problem, Willow?”

  My breath catches in my throat. Looking into his eyes, I see a mixture of emotions. Without trying, my gift of empathy takes over and suddenly all of his feelings are rolling off him in waves that I can feel, touch, and taste. I know my eyes must be pitch black as I feel everything he feels. Anger, pain, hurt, jealousy, insecurity, longing, desire... The hardest one for me to swallow is the love that he still feels for me. His emotional tornado hits me hard in the chest.

  I force myself to look away. Turn it off, Willow! It’s not right to invade his privacy with my gifts. When the emotions finally stop coming at me in overwhelming waves, I look back up at him. His expression has slightly softened.

  Finding my voice, I try to reason with him. “This isn’t your problem, Alec. I didn’t want to drag you or anyone else into this mess with me. Zack doesn’t want you. You all would be safe right now if it wasn’t for me.”

  He puts his hand on my shoulder. The small amount of space between us has me catching my breath again. “No. This isn’t only your problem, Willow. You did nothing to deserve this. You are a victim, just like everyone else who has been hurt by those monsters! None of us will be safe until Zack is stopped.” His eyes wander down to my lips for a slight second before he looks back up into my eyes. His eyes have a fire in them that was missing a second before. He lets his hand drop. I watch him press it into a fist. “What I still don’t understand is how you can so easily close us out of your life. You know how I feel about you. How your friends feel about you. Yet, you run away with Tony in the middle of the night. Without even telling us where you went or if you were safe. Now you want to run away again on your own. Do you honestly think we are too weak to be included in your plans? Just because you have all of these powers doesn’t mean you can take on the world alone.”

  I throw my hands up in frustration. “I didn’t know what to do, Alec! I still don’t know what to do. How am I supposed to make these decisions? I don’t think you are weak at all. Can’t you see that I care too much about you all to throw you in the line of danger?” My chest is tight as I let the feelings and insecurities that I’ve been holding onto loose. Tears start blurring my vision. “Did you know that sometimes I don’t think I will make it through this? I may have all of these powers but they haven’t been able to help me when I really needed it. They didn’t help me save my mom. I couldn’t save Tony, even though I tried.” The tears start falling as I think of how hard I tried to heal Tony. How badly I wanted to, as if my will alone could have saved him. How can I have all of this power but still feel so helpless? My voice is shaky. “I tried...” Alec pulls me into his arms. I allow myself to let out all of the emotions I’ve been bottling up inside.

  “I know you tried. But you can’t do this all alone, Willow.” He brushes his hand over my curls and rubs my back soothingly.

  I nod my head against his chest. “I know.” I pull away and wipe at my eyes with the palms of my hands. “I don’t want anything to happen to you guys though. I can’t take it if I lose one more person that I love.” It’s not until I see his expression that I realize what I just admitted to him.

  “You love him?” He says it as more of a statement than a question. His wounded look breaks something inside of me.

  What do I say? “I think I may...” I can’t look at Alec any longer. How can this be so hard? When I look at him, I feel like I’ve betrayed him in a way. I haven’t tried to lead him on, to make him believe that we still have a shot. I honestly care for Alec but these feelings that I’ve been developing for Tony are more than I can contain. I can’t stifle what my heart feels. “I’m so sorry, Alec,” I say, looking back up.

  He’s looking away. His face is masked with pain.

  “I don’t know what to say to make any of this better, Alec. Please, tell me what to say. I just want to make things right between us.”

  He looks at me again with those deep, navy eyes. “Tell me that you’re just kidding, that you aren’t really falling in love with someone else...someone who is not me.” He barely whispers the last part.

  I want to tell him what he wants to hear, but it wouldn’t be right. Unable to speak, I stare into his eyes. I don’t want to hurt him. He means too much to me. I swallow hard and tell him, “Maybe you should go with Lee.”

  He takes a deep breath and shakes his head. “No. I’m not leaving you.” He places his hands on either side of my face. Our proximity is close enough that I can feel his breath on my skin. That angry heat returns to his expression. “Do you think that I would just leave you because you don’t love me anymore?”

  “Urgh!” I have to stifle the desire to stomp my feet on the ground. Alec removes his hands and takes a step back, obviously surprised by my outburst. “No, Alec! I don’t think you are petty enough to leave me because I’m falling for someone else. I was just offering you a lifeline. An out! Why do you keep insisting on putting words in my mouth?”

  He runs his hands through his dark hair. “Because I’m hurt.” His honesty shocks me and silence fills the room as the truth floats heavily in the air.

  I figured as much. I’m just amazed that he’s in touch with his feelings enough to admit it. “I really won’t think any less of you if you go with Lee.”

  He shakes his head.

  “We can’t fight about this if we’re going to work together. You need to know that I still love you too. I care deeply about you and I don’t want this coming between us.”

  “You love me as a friend,” he clarifies. The pained look is still evident on his face.

  I nod my head. “Yes. There will always be that part that loves you in another way. That will never go away. But if you will allow us to redirect those feelings to our friendship, I know we can work through all of this.” I bite my lip, hoping I don’t lose him. His friendship means everything to me.

  He thinks about it for a moment, running his hand through his hair. “I don’t doubt we can work through this.” A look of determination replaces his hurt expression. “You have to promise me though, that you won’t go running off on your own again.”

  I let out a tired laugh. “I know better than to make promises I can’t keep. I will try to include you on whatever I do, but if things get too bad and I’m left with no choice, I will do whatever it takes to make sure you all are safe.” I feel a sense of relief at being able to stand up for myself and to tell the truth. It’s something I’ve struggled with in the past.

  He rolls his eyes dramatically. “I guess I can’t ask more from you than I would from myself.”

  I give him a hug, grateful that he can understand where I’m coming from. “Thank you for sticking by my side, Alec. It means a lot to me.”

  He kisses the top of my head. I try not to think more of it than I should. “Anything for you, Willow.”

  CHAPTER 2

  “We need to make the preparations,” I tell Alec.

  He nods his head. “I’ll go get Connor and Claire. You get your father.”

  “My dad is not coming with us so I’ll need to tell him goodbye – again. Will you all start packing up the supplies?” I ask.

  “Yes, ma’am.” Alec gives me a fake salute.

  I roll my eyes but inside I’m secretly happy that our awkward moment has passed. Alec and I leave the room and head off in separate directions. The hallways in the hotel are brimming with activity. People walk every which way with candles or electric lanterns in their hands. Some people look nervous about the upcoming move; others are obviously used to it by their calm expressions.

  I pass by a couple with neon-yellow eyes who seem to be arguing about where they are goin
g to go tomorrow. From what I can hear, the woman wants to come with me to fight Zack. The man wants to go with Lee. When they notice me, they stop talking and try to act busy gathering supplies.

  I give the woman a nod of my head as I pass by her on my way to my dad’s room. I knock softly on the door to their room, in case my little brother is sleeping.

  “Come in,” my dad calls to me.

  I open the door and find him packing Sebastian’s and his things. Sebastian is sleeping soundly on his bed, curled up under a heap of blankets. His little curls poke out from beneath the mess of covers. When my dad sees me, he drops the bag in his hand and runs to my side, pulling me into a hug. “Lee told me you were back. I looked for you but couldn’t find you.”

  “I’m sorry, I got caught up. I found you as quickly as I could.” I smile up at him.

  He pulls me at arm’s length and looks me over. His hair is now nearly fifty percent grey. He looks tired and weary. I can’t help but wonder when we’ll catch a break. If it’s not a virus killing off most of the population, then it’s mad men coming after you or Reapers trying to suck your powers dry. When will we be able to just be? It worries me that a sense of normalcy might be too much of a farfetched idea these days.

  “I’m almost done packing.” He looks down at me with worried copper eyes. “Lee said you aren’t coming with us?”

  “Dad...” I say in a defensive voice, making the ‘a’ drag out a little longer than I should.

  He throws his hands up, stopping me. “No, I’ve learned enough lately to not argue with my daughter. She is a leader of the people now after all. I am still your dad though, so we need to discuss this.” His voice takes a stern edge. Yep, there’s the dad I know. “Now, I know you are going and that Sebastian needs me, but I need to know if you need me.” He runs his hands through his hair as he looks from Sabby to me. “I don’t know all of the reasons why you don’t want us to come with you, but I can only assume that it’s because of some trouble you’re in. I can send Sabby with the teachers. I’ve thought this through a million times in my head. They can take care of him and I can come with you.” His love floods over me like a veil. I can feel that love, the kind that can only come from a parent, filling me to the brim.

  I shake my head. “No, Dad. He needs you right now.” I point to my little brother. “Yes, there is trouble...but, I have my friends and some very strong soldiers who will be going with me. We’ll be fine. There’s no reason to worry.”

  He laughs but the apprehension doesn’t fade from his expression. “Even if you were tucked safely away to where nothing could hurt you, I would still worry. That’s what fathers do, we worry about our kids. It’s like a full-time job all on its own.” He glances over at my brother and then looks back to me. “I know that you’re a very strong woman, Willow, and that you can take care of yourself. But, before you leave, I need to tell you something.” He lowers his voice to more of a whisper. “I had a vision.”

  I try to force the tears from filling my eyes as I nod my head. “I know, Dad. I read Mom’s letter.”

  “Your father watched you die in that vision.” I remember the words in my mom’s final message to me and my heart still pangs with grief over it. My dad had a vision that I was going to be killed. Both my mom and he knew that one of them would have to lay down their life to save mine. They each wrote me a letter in the event that they succeeded in saving me. My mom’s letter is the one I received. Absentmindly, I reach my hand down to where her letter sits in my pocket.

  My father’s face crumples at the mention of his wife. He looks down at his hands for a moment, then back up at me, regaining his composure. “We both love you so very much. Most days I wish that it was my letter you read. I would have gladly given my life for you...for her.”

  His eyes are wet with tears and I find myself unable to hold mine back any longer. “Oh Dad...” I cry as I pull him into a hug. We both cry quietly and, for a moment in time, we allow ourselves to mourn. Ever since my mom died, I never felt I’ve been able to grieve. Like there’s just not time. I feel guilty every time I think about it because I know she deserves the remembrance.

  My dad pats my back and when he looks back at me, the tears in his eyes have dried. “I had another vision though. Just last night.”

  I wipe my tears and try to compose myself. “What was it about?”

  “You and Tony. He was chasing you and you were scared.” My dad looks frightened as he continues. “His eyes were red.”

  I gently nod my head, pursing my lips.

  His eyes widen. “You know?” he asks.

  “Yes, but he’s not a Reaper though,” I clarify, wanting to make that point very clear. “I don’t know what he is, but it’s different. He’s somehow being controlled by Zack Hastings.” His name makes my stomach churn.

  “Zack?” My dad asks a little too loudly. We both turn to see Sebastian stirring.

  “Yes,” I whisper, but soon realize we’ve woken up my little brother anyway.

  He sits up in bed, rubbing his sleepy little eyes. “Wello?”

  “Hey, Sabby.” I smile and move to his side of the bed.

  “You back!” He smiles and throws his small arms around me like a monkey.

  I hug him tightly. “Yes, but I’m afraid I have to leave again.”

  He shakes his head, making his curls dance. “No, Wello. You stay here with me.” He says it as if it’s an order rather than a request.

  I try my best to give him a brave smile. “I wish I could, Sabby. I have to go on a very important mission though.” His little frown and fat bottom lip breaks my heart. I add, “It’s a secret mission.” I raise my finger up to my lips, hoping to improve his mood.

  “Like a spy?” He perks up with interest.

  I shrug my shoulders. “Kind of. I have a mission for you too, Sabby.”

  “Weally?” His eyes widen with excitement. I squelch a laugh at his seriously cute face.

  “Yes. I need you to make sure you are the bravest boy in all of your class. If your friends get scared, you can show them how brave you are and maybe they will try to be like you. Can you do that?” I ask.

  He hangs on my every word. He allows what I said to sink in, and then nods his head vigorously. “Yes, Wello! I be very brave!” He holds his arm up and flexes his little muscles. My dad and I laugh. What’s funny is that there is actually a definition of muscle on those tiny arms. It’s weird but probably a side effect of the shot that gave him superior strength.

  “Good! I knew I could count on you. I’ll come back as soon as I can. It may take a while though.” His eyes lose a bit of their brightness so I add, “Don’t worry, Sabby. I wouldn’t leave you if I didn’t know how strong you were. Daddy is strong too and he’ll take good care of you.”

  “You strong too, Wello!” He grabs my arm, rolling up my sleeve, and prompts me to show him my muscles. I humor him and flex my arms, which makes him smile.

  “Thank you, Sabby. I love you.” I kiss the top of his little head.

  “Wuv you too, Wello!” He hugs me once more.

  I stand up and give my dad a hug. “Love you, Dad.”

  “I love you too, honey. Please stay safe,” he says in my ear so Sabby can’t hear.

  “I will,” I tell him in a whisper. I keep thinking about the visions I’ve had of Tony catching up with me. I don’t let on that I’m scared though. The last thing my dad needs right now is an additional worry. A thought occurs to me. “Dad, did you see what happened in your vision? With Tony chasing me. How did it end?”

  With his hand on my upper arm he gently guides me towards the door, further away from Sebastian’s hearing range. He looks at me uneasily. “In the end he catches you.”

  I take in an audible breath of air, knowing that’s how my vision played out as well. “And then?” I wonder if he’s seen further than I have.

  “Then your eyes turn red,” he says uncomfortably.

  I instinctively reach my hand up to my eyes and touch the delic
ate skin below them. “My eyes? They turn red?”

  He nods slowly.

  I don’t know what this means. Perhaps he makes me so angry that my inner Reaper comes out. Does that mean that I’ll kill Tony? My stomach churns and bile rises in my throat. I force myself to put on a brave facade. “It’s okay, Dad. We’ve made visions change before. If I’ve done it once, I can do it again.”

  He nods his head but the worry lines on his forehead don’t smooth out any. “Please send for me if you need anything, honey. I will be there in a heartbeat.” He pulls me into another hug.

  “I will, Dad. You just keep Sabby safe. I’ll be back as soon as I can. Just know that it will take time. If I can find a way to send word to you every once in a while, I will,” I assure him.

  He gives me a weak smile and kisses the top of my head before allowing me to leave.

  After I say my goodbyes one last time, I head out to finish making preparations. Downstairs, I find everyone in the dining hall. Piles of supplies and equipment are mounded up on the tables. I find my friends at the back of the cafeteria and join in on helping them pack.

  “I’m glad you’re back,” Connor says as he stuffs a package of marshmallows into his bag.

  “Me too,” I say, even though we are about to turn around and leave again in the morning.

  Alec, who’s loading bullets into a magazine, eyes the marshmallows and teases Connor. “Are you going to defend us with your marshmallow shooter? Is it a semi-automatic or a blow gun that you are planning to use to take out Zack?”

  “Hey, marshmallows aren’t just fluff!” Connor pulls the bag out and throws it hard at Alec.

  It hits Alec on his shoulder. He places the last few bullets and the magazine on the table, and then playfully grabs his shoulder with his hand and acts wounded. “Ouch!” he jokes as he picks the bag up off the ground and throws it back at Connor.

  Claire catches it before it hits Connor in the face. “Come on, boys.” She tries to give them a stern talking to, but in the end, she can’t keep the smile from her face.