Impatiently, Darcy Read online

  Richard looked as if he wanted to say more, but he thought better of it, and sat back. A few moments later, he sat forward. “May I suggest that I take Georgiana with me to Matlock House for the day? I think you’re very tired and not inclined to be good company.”

  26

  Elizabeth sat listlessly at the breakfast table with her aunt. Three days after the ball, and she was still feeling empty. Mr. Darcy had not called — she hadn’t expected him — but the unfilled hours of her day gave her too much time to think. She had declined to go out, didn’t want to practice, and had set her needlework aside after a few minutes.

  She didn’t understand herself at all. She always prided herself on her resourcefulness and her ability to make the best of any situation.

  Perhaps there was too much here to remind her of what had happened. Maybe she should go home. And as she thought that, she longed for the hills above Meryton. A long walk over the hills, and Jane. Jane, in her new home at the parsonage at Shenley. Jane would hear her story, and would help her rebuild her confidence.

  “I wonder if I might go home, Aunt Gardiner?” Elizabeth looked across the table. “I would relish going for long walks where I don’t have to see anyone.”

  Her aunt’s face was lined with sorrow. She looked almost as tired as Elizabeth felt.

  “Of course, if you are determined, Lizzy, I will not stop you. But remember, Lady Susan advised that you not tell anyone what has happened as yet, and if you go home, you will have to.”

  Elizabeth nodded. “I know. But I will make up some reason for having had to break off the engagement. I am not going to embarrass Mr. Darcy or Lady Susan.”

  Aunt Gardiner smiled. “I know you won’t, Lizzy. Think about it today, and we will ask your uncle if he can spare the coach tomorrow or the next day. He has kept it today at his warehouse, for he has an appointment.”

  “Of course, Aunt.” Elizabeth forced a smile. “I know I must be strong and determined so that I might make something of my future.”

  Her aunt looked relieved. “I have been worried that you have taken so long to brighten up, Lizzy. After all, you had only known of Mr. Darcy’s existence for just over a week.”

  Elizabeth glanced over. “I became very fond of Georgiana, Aunt. I think she and I were born to be sisters. I cannot imagine what she has been told about me. She must be angry that I have caused her brother embarrassment. I cannot bear to think she — and Mr. Darcy — think ill of me.”

  “Oh, Lizzy!” Aunt Gardiner got up and embraced her. “You always throw yourself heart and soul into new friendships and challenges.” She sat down again. “I do not see that I can help you with your concern. Perhaps Lady Susan might have some insight into whether something can be done to reconcile with Georgiana.”

  Elizabeth shook her head. “No, there won’t be,” she said softly. “Mr. Darcy did not wish her to know about the arrangement. There will be no way to see her or write to her without her knowing something is amiss.” She sighed. “And, if she can begin to forget, then it would not be right to remind her of me.”

  The housekeeper entered the room with a few letters on a silver tray. “The post, madam.”

  “Thank you.” Aunt Gardiner looked through them.

  “A letter for you, Lizzy.”

  Elizabeth looked at the letter. “It’s from Jane.” She broke the seal, and began reading, a smile on her face at the familiar handwriting. “Oh!”

  Aunt Gardiner looked up from her letter. “What is it?”

  Elizabeth rolled her eyes. “I cannot believe it. Jane tells me that Mr. Collins is engaged to Charlotte Lucas!” She scanned the rest of the letter. “Mama is beside herself. Her only consolation is that I am to be so well-settled that I will be able to support them.” She glanced despairingly at Aunt Gardiner. “Jane says that Mr. Lawrence has been very good and has let Jane go home for a few hours each day if Papa send the coach for her.”

  “That is generous of him,” her aunt observed, “given that they have been married for less than a week.”

  Elizabeth stared at her. “Of course, the wedding was the same day as the ball. I had forgotten. So much has happened, it seems a very long time ago.”

  Aunt Gardiner smiled. “You were at home only four days ago. Do you remember remarking on the way back here how quickly you had forgotten how noisy Longbourn is?”

  Elizabeth laughed. “I remember. And I know that when I am there, I will miss the privacy I enjoy here.”

  She sat with her aunt in quiet companionship in the drawing room later that morning, trying to concentrate on some needlework. She must get over this setback, it would do no good to worry Aunt Gardiner. If only she could sleep for longer each night, she was sure she would feel better.

  The door opened. “Lady Matlock,” announced the butler.

  Elizabeth’s heart leapt into her throat and she dropped her needlework. There was no time to pick it up as Mr. Darcy’s aunt swept into the room.

  Aunt Gardiner was poised and composed as she curtsied. Elizabeth copied her, and tried to stop herself trembling.

  “I apologise for calling here unannounced,” Lady Matlock was speaking to Aunt Gardiner, and Elizabeth tried to discreetly move sideways, over her dropped sewing. She knew her aunt had noticed, but she hoped their guest hadn’t.

  “We are honoured to receive you, Lady Matlock.” Aunt Gardiner waited until she was seated before resuming her own seat.

  Elizabeth sat with her head lowered. She could barely look at Lady Matlock. What must the lady think of her? But her thoughts were full of questions. Dare she ask after Georgiana? And how was Mr. Darcy? That was a question she was sure she should not ask.

  Making a swift decision, she bent to pick up her needlework. Now she could pretend to be busy over it while the two older ladies talked. Perhaps she would learn something.

  “Mrs. Gardiner, I know it might seem a little irregular, but may I talk to your niece? In your presence, of course.”

  “If Lizzy is happy to, then, of course you may, my lady.”

  “Miss Bennet,” Lady Matlock’s voice was gentle. “I am here to ask after your health. I have learned what has happened, and I am concerned for you.”

  Elizabeth blinked hard before she looked up. She tried to smile calmly and could only hope her voice would be steady. “I am well, thank you, Lady Matlock. But I am concerned for the family, particularly Georgiana. Are you able to tell me she is well?”

  “I would like it if you feel you could come and sit next to me, Miss Bennet.” Their visitor patted the seat on the sofa beside her.

  Elizabeth could think of no reason to refuse her, but knew her state of mind would be harder to hide. Reluctantly, she put down her needlework and moved over to the sofa.

  She glanced at Aunt Gardiner, who smiled reassuringly at her, before turning tactfully to her own embroidery.

  “Georgiana is, of course distressed at the moment, Elizabeth — I may call you Elizabeth?” Lady Matlock took Elizabeth’s hand. “Elizabeth, I know that we had only just met, but I already feel as if you are part of the family, and that you have been most unfairly treated. I am concerned for you.”

  Elizabeth swallowed. “Please do not be too sympathetic, my lady; or I might not be able to keep my composure.” She smiled at the lady beside her. “And you must be concerned with your family. I know Georgiana loves you dearly, and I would be happy to know you are looking after her.”

  “I know that when the agreement was made, no one was to know about it, Elizabeth,” Lady Matlock said, “and that you have since discovered the misunderstanding that led to the difficulties you had on Wednesday.” She smiled kindly. “Well, Richard has now confided in me. He is also concerned for you, as well as Georgiana and Darcy. So you see, there is quite a lot of confusion for me to try and resolve.”

  “Did Mr. Darcy tell Colonel Fitzwilliam then?” Elizabeth was puzzled.

  Lady Matlock looked slightly discomposed. “Yes, he did.” She changed the subject.

/>   “You must have had a terrible shock when you realised what had happened, Elizabeth.”

  Elizabeth turned slightly away. “Lady Susan explained to my aunt what had happened, and she has told me.” She took a deep breath. “I can understand Mr. Darcy’s confusion. I do not blame him for thinking I was wrong to gain the affections of Georgiana.”

  27

  Lady Matlock watched Elizabeth with sympathy. She wasn’t surprised to see that the girl was pale, and the dark circles under her eyes showed she hadn’t slept well. After hearing Richard’s admission, she would have been surprised if the girl had looked unaffected.

  What had surprised her was that Darcy had only met Elizabeth such a short time ago; he had seemed so enchanted with her at the ball that she had surmised his affections had grown over some months.

  As for Elizabeth’s ability to befriend and enjoy the company of all around her, she had seen it with her own eyes, but she had particularly noticed the way that she had seemed to watch Darcy, even when she could not be with him.

  And now here she was, attempting not to attach any blame to him, when many other young ladies would be so much angered by his actions as to have no good word to say.

  “Your words do you credit, Elizabeth,” she said, thoughtfully. “But you must have been displeased when you discovered his intentions.”

  Elizabeth smiled slightly. “I must confess to being so,” she admitted. “But, having thought about it since, and having met Lady Catherine, I can quite understand that he was not thinking clearly.”

  Alice laughed. “I am happy to see you have a sense of humour, Elizabeth. You will need it wherever your life takes you.”

  The life died out of the girl’s eyes. “Thank you, my lady,” she said quietly.

  Alice took her hand again. “Please don’t look like that, Elizabeth. I am here to ask you a question. Might you still consider keeping the arrangement you thought you had accepted? Might you yet agree to marry my nephew?”

  If she hadn’t been watching closely, she’d have missed the flare of hope in the girl’s eyes, before she schooled her expression to the previous politeness.

  “I don’t believe that is possible, my lady.”

  “I must acknowledge that I haven’t spoken to Darcy about it, Elizabeth, because I wished to speak to you first. If you will not consider it, then I won’t discuss the matter with him.” Alice considered her carefully. “But he is much affected by what has happened. I know he had only thought for a temporary answer to his problems, but, as I know him well, I could see at the ball that he was fighting not to give way to his real feelings for you.” She smiled slightly. “And I have no doubt whatsoever, that his discovery resulted in him saying things he should never have uttered. Am I correct?”

  Elizabeth huffed a quiet laugh. “You are correct, and it is obvious that you know him well, my lady.”

  She tightened her grip on Elizabeth’s hand. “I do not know what he said, and I am not going to ask you. But may I tell you what I think was the reason he spoke so intemperately?”

  Elizabeth nodded without looking up. Alice wished she knew the girl better. Would she be willing to consider marrying Darcy?

  “Darcy was only a young lad when his mother died, and he was very much affected. In part, he felt a sudden responsibility for Georgiana, who was still a babe in arms, yet she must remind him very much of her, although he would never admit it …”

  “He did admit to me that he found her likeness to their mother painful,” Elizabeth murmured, and Alice glanced at her in astonishment.

  “You have certainly touched his heart, Elizabeth. I never thought he would admit it to anyone.” She gathered her thoughts and continued. “He had very much to bear his grief alone. It was unfortunate that his father was unable to show affection or emotion — and favoured another. Darcy was very much alone from then on.” She reached out, and touched Elizabeth’s face, lifting her chin so that she could see her face. “If I can get him to admit his affections, might you be prepared to forgive him?”

  There were tears in the girl’s eyes, but she neither blinked or allowed them to fall.

  “I will have to consider what you have said, my lady. I cannot answer now.”

  Alice was disappointed. “Might you at least consent not to inform anyone that the engagement is over? If you did decide to continue, it would make life easier for you, and less mortifying for Darcy.”

  Elizabeth drew away from her gaze and dropped her head. After a long moment Alice heard her murmur, “I agree.”

  “Thank you, Elizabeth,” Alice drew herself up. “I think that took some courage.” She hesitated. “Would you give me the pleasure of calling on me at Matlock House tomorrow with your aunt? I promise that Darcy and Georgiana will not be there — or Richard.”

  Alice felt the girl stiffen, but she wished very much that she get over any reluctance to call.

  Elizabeth looked over at her aunt, who smiled at her. “I think that is a very good idea, Lizzy. You need to begin to go out again, and I will be there, too.”

  “Very well,” Elizabeth turned to Alice.

  “Thank you for the invitation, my lady. We would be honoured to accept.”

  Alice rose to her feet. “I am delighted, and look forward to seeing you tomorrow.” She inclined her head as the ladies curtsied, and walked with her to the hall, where her maid had been waiting.

  28

  Darcy stared morosely into the fire. He had retreated here after lunch to avoid Georgiana talking about Elizabeth again. He was sure she didn’t know how much it affected him to hear of her.

  He frowned. He was certain Elizabeth must have decided to resume her life, and Lady Susan’s promise to offer their patronage to her had reassured him somewhat. He was sure that such a resourceful young lady was getting over the whole affair much better than he was.

  He got to his feet and went to the decanter. Halfway through pouring himself a glass, he realised it was less than helpful, and he put it down carefully. He rang the bell to order coffee, and ten minutes later he was sitting, cradling the cup for its warmth, when there was a knock on the door.

  Richard put his head round and Darcy glanced up. He was grateful that Richard was staying with them, instead of returning to Matlock House — his own responsibility for entertaining Georgiana was shared.

  “Mother has arrived, Darcy. Will you join us?”

  “What!” Darcy was startled. When Aunt Alice had turned up two days after the ball, he had been brusque and reluctant to talk to her. But she had been as kind as his mother to him after his loss, and he had eventually admitted to her the confusion over the arrangement.

  He smiled slightly, it had been hard to keep Richard’s involvement out of his explanation, but he owed him that, at least. Now she was here again, and he was not in the mood to have her fret over him too much or too often.

  He frowned. “I think not, Richard. It will do Georgiana good to have to entertain her, and she has you to assist.”

  Richard’s eyebrows went up. “You need to go and see Elizabeth, Darcy. This whole matter needs sorting out.” He shut the door behind him.

  Darcy knew he could not do that. He remembered his words, his anger at her. No, she would not receive him, he knew that. And she needed to forget what had happened, move on with her life. Seeing her again would only drag out the misery for him, too.

  But he must see his lawyer, make sure he paid the money he had promised into her fortune. She was not to blame for the confusion.

  He scowled, he’d planned to go out for a ride, but he could not do that while Aunt Alice was here. He subsided back into his chair. He’d have another coffee and wait until she had gone.

  Another knock on the door and Richard breezed in. “I am afraid Mother will not take no for an answer, Darcy. She has asked Georgiana to entertain me in the gallery, and to tell you she wishes to speak to you in private.”

  Darcy muttered under his breath, but he could not escape the duty, and he reached ove
r to put his coffee cup down.

  “I didn’t hear that, Darcy!” Richard laughed cheerfully, and Darcy grumbled again. His cousin was looking far too cheerful.

  He bowed as he entered the drawing room to join his aunt. “Good afternoon, Aunt Alice. Permit me to order you more tea.”

  She nodded at him. “I need to speak to you, Darcy. Come and sit down.”

  He took a deep breath. He didn’t want her fussing over him, nor to be ordered around in his own house. But he appeared to have little choice. “How may I help you, Aunt?”

  She watched him sit down. “You look as bad as Elizabeth does, Darcy. I know you are discomposed by what has happened.”

  “You’ve seen Elizabeth?” He was astonished. “Is she unwell?” He was suddenly concerned for her. He forced himself to sit back. He should not appear too anxious about her.

  Her steady gaze made him uncomfortable. “You do not need to pretend disinterest with me, Darcy. I want to speak plainly to you.”

  He nodded reluctantly. “Whatever you wish, Aunt Alice.”

  She waited while the tea was brought in and poured for them, and watched as the footman left.

  She took a sip, observing him over the rim of her cup. “Yes, I called on Elizabeth and her aunt on Monday, and yesterday they returned the call at my request.”

  He felt his heart constrict. How could Elizabeth forget what had happened and move on with her life, if she was disturbed by his relations?

  He shrugged. “I had hoped, if she was not distressed by too many reminders of this time, she might be able to move on with her life more easily.” He hoped his words were not too clumsy.

  “You have not even begun moving on, Darcy,” his aunt sounded tart. “What makes you think Elizabeth has?”

  He grimaced. “I am surprised you are already referring to her by her given name, Aunt.” He hoped he didn’t sound accusing.