Daily Emotions Read online

  When she finished, Anita looked up toward heaven and did something she had never done before; Anita smiled. Her eyes had been opened to a new day, opened on a Christmas Day. She went to the porcelain figurine of an angel and picked it up carefully. “Thank you for guiding me, Raphael.” Anita whispered and sat him on her nightstand, next to her notebook.

  “I should go clean my kitchen,” Anita said with a smile. She left the room with a bounce in her step that was never there before. Left on her nightstand was the first inspirational poem she had written:

  Life held nothing but sorrow and pain.

  I was slowly dying,

  living in my despair.

  What could I possibly do,

  but to end the nightmare.

  The sun radiates a golden beam,

  I have been saved.

  My eyes have been opened,

  and the light appeared.

  Thought it was the end,

  but it is a new beginning.

  I had learned a lesson,

  never give up on hope,

  hidden in the darkness.

  Live for the day,

  be here for tomorrow.

  You too will see,

  God's heavenly, golden beam upon you.

  Back To Top

  CHAPTER NINE

  SORROW

  THE NEW SHALL RISE

  She lost her way,

  under the midnight sky.

  She looked into the dome of black,

  the twinkling stars winked back.

  Lost inside the world,

  lost inside herself.

  As night went on,

  the moon’s light shined down.

  The earth is at peace,

  a war goes on inside.

  She cannot live,

  life is no more.

  She wishes the pain will cease,

  it keeps it’s pace.

  The time will come soon,

  the end is near.

  The old shall die,

  the new shall rise.

  Time is near,

  soon she will be a memory.

  No more looking back,

  now is the end.

  The pain has gone,

  she didn’t feel the flames.

  Her soul did not perish,

  it only fled.

  The time is coming,

  it’s a new beginning.

  THE BOND OF FRIENDSHIP

  The bond of friendship

  never is weak

  The bond of friendship

  always is strong

  Nothing could ever break

  the bond of friendship.

  The moment we met

  a connection was attained

  many years ago

  a friendship was made.

  You were there for me when

  I needed you the most

  I was there for you

  when the tables had turned.

  We will always be together

  nothing could ever tear us apart

  I’ll look to you when I’m in need

  I know where you will always be

  deep inside my heart.

  The bond of friendship

  has been put to a test

  The bond of friendship

  I know will always last

  Even in death never will it break

  the everlasting bond of true friendship.

  WHEN YOU LEFT

  When you left us,

  my heart turned to dust.

  That was many years ago,

  we loved you so.

  We won’t ever forget you,

  no matter what we do.

  Your pain is now gone,

  ours may never be done.

  There is never a day that goes by,

  when all we can do is sigh.

  We wish you were still here,

  but we all know you’re still very near.

  MY DEAREST MOTHER

  My dearest mother

  it has been two weeks since you left

  my heart and soul is still full of woe

  I miss you greatly

  I cannot believe you are gone.

  You have been by my side

  all this time

  through the good times

  and the bad

  and we know there was plenty of them.

  No matter what happened between us

  we have always hung on

  even though I said it before

  I will say it one final time

  I am sorry for all the grief of the past.

  We moved on together

  it was always just you and me

  now it is only I that stands alone.

  The loneliness I feel rips my heart apart

  even though my family stands beside me

  they can never understand

  the void that was left deep inside.

  In the end, as was the beginning

  we were together

  I had the pleasure to care for you

  as you had always took care of me.

  I will never forget the special time we shared

  and I will always hold that dear to me

  there is no regrets

  I really enjoyed taking care of you.

  You are now gone away

  no longer can I take care of you

  you are up above, watching over me

  I will always do what is right

  I will make you proud.

  I will let you go with a heavy heart

  but I will not say good-bye

  you have not left me forever

  so I will say, “see you later.”

  SOMEONE UP ABOVE

  A beloved mother and grandmother,

  the Lord took you away.

  Took you from our lives,

  but not our hearts.

  We have someone up above,

  who takes care of us all.

  MY DEAR FRIEND

  My dear friend,

  you were there when I made my first breath

  you were there when I took my first step

  you were there when I said my first word.

  My dear friend,

  you always made me laugh

  you always dried my tears

  you always made time to play.

  My dear friend,

  my time with you has been shortened

  my memories are not forgotten

  my heart is forever broken.

  My dear friend,

  you will be with me on my graduation

  you will be with me at my wedding

  you will be with me when I grow old.

  My dear friend,

  your spirit will always be with me

  your love will never leave my heart

  your presence will always be felt.

  Until we meet again, my dear friend,

  Goodbye!

  AN ANGEL

  As we look to the heavens,

  the sun radiates a golden

  beam of light.

  The wings stretch out long

  and wide,

  as the eagle soars above.

  The Lord took you away

  from our lives,

  but not from within our

  hearts.

  We dream you are near,

  with wings stretched out

  long and wide.

  As you look down from above,

  knowing we are still loved.

  An angel is what we see,

  looking out for you and me.

  MY GRANDMOTHER

  The most important person in my life, next to my mother was my grandmother. She was my mother’s mom. When I was two, my parents were divorced. My mother was not able to support herself and me on her own; we moved in with my grandma. She was a wonderful woman, a saintly woman, and the best grandma anyone can ask for. I was spoiled by her, yes I admit it; she bought me anything, even when my mother had told me no. Material possessions were not the only r
eason why she was great, not even the most important.

  She was my protector, my bodyguard you could say but not violent. She did not beat up my enemies. I went to the catholic school, and I hated it. I was a loner; no one liked me. They all thought I was a weirdo and a loser.

  All the kids loved my grandma so during lunch, when she was working; I would not get beat up. Other times were a different story. I was tripped, smacked, punched and called names. I was in hell and could not escape.

  I would tell my grandma about the children at school and she would tell me not to listen to them; she would tell me that the reason they are mean is that they know I am special and they are just jealous. That would always make my bad day better. She could always make any sad time happier. After our talks, school was easier to handle. The kids were nicer for a few days and then it would go back to the old ways and more torture.

  Later I found out why the other children were nice for a while; my grandmother would tell them that they had better be nice to me, and since everyone loved her, they would listen. Also because being threatened by a woman like my grandma could be very intimidating. She had filled my lonely days with so much hope; with her around there would never be a time when I was empty inside.

  My love for her is strong because she and I have a special bond; a bond so strong that death could not break it. She was always there for me and she still is an unbroken bond that would hold us together, forever.

  Her name was Jennie, a grand woman who had a very caring soul. She worked at the Catholic Church helping the priests with housecleaning and cooking.

  She also worked as a cook for the catholic school. She was well loved by everyone she met. She became sick when I was eight years old. She was in the hospital quite a bit on and off. Cancer had taken its dark grip on another victim.

  The year was 1979, and the month was October, a cold miserable day. I was nine years old and my grandma was in the hospital, again. I was playing a game with a friend when the phone rang. It was the hospital; my grandma was not doing very well. My mother sent my friend home and took me to another friend’s house; their parents were to watch me. I had a lot of fun there; we played and ran around enjoying each other’s company. We had just sat down to dinner when my mother returned. Sadness shown in her eyes; when I asked about my grandma, she never answered.

  She took me to my aunt and uncle’s house, where I played with my cousin and again had fun. My aunt and uncle had a big living room with sliding glass doors that led to the patio. It was evening and dark outside when I went into the living room to sit. The room was empty and for some reason I wanted to be alone. My cousin and I were playing in the bedroom when that feeling of privacy overcame me. I left the room and went into the living room. The only light that was there came from the kitchen that adjoined the living room.

  I sat down in a chair that faced the sliding doors and with my eyes cast downward; I just sat as if waiting for someone or something.

  I felt a strange sensation of being watched; I looked up and what I saw might shock some people, but not me; I smiled. Outside, beyond the glass doors was a light surrounding a woman, my grandma. The light and seeing my grandma brought some form of peace to my consciousness. My first thought was that she came home from the hospital and that she was going to be ok.

  That thought quickly subsided; when I realized that, the form in front of me was not solid but appeared only as a white shadow. I could see her face clearly but the rest of her was somewhat blurry. Her facial features were strong and pronounced. The whole image had no color, just light.

  I stared at my grandma through the glass; she looked radiant, like an angel from up above. My grandma smiled and she told me that she loved me and that she would always watch over me; she then told me good-bye and disappeared. She had just faded away from sight but never from my memory. Playing with my cousin after that was not the same; I was quieter. I told no one of what I saw and even now, a few select knows what happened.

  That night, the worse night of my life was on October 2, 1979; I had gone to bed, but not asleep. My mother came in and told me my grandma passed away. I knew that to be true already, but to hear it from my mother was so much harder. I cried and cried all night long. My world, my beloved grandmother was gone; all was lost to me, now I was alone.

  Through the years, I never saw her again but I had felt and heard her; she has warned me of dangers I was getting myself into and she is there when I am sad and alone.

  Even my children has been watched and protected by her loving presence, but that is another story for another time.

  Our bond has not been broken by her death; forever she will stay by my side. Her last words were true, she has and will always be watching over me and will always be my very own protector against harm.

  THE FINAL GOOD-BYE

  November 15 is a date I will always dread. I remember the day very clear, it was in the morning when the nurse appeared; at first, I thought I was still asleep in a nightmare that was so real. The time has come, the family has already been called; it is now time to say the final good-bye. It was with a heavy heart, I went next door to see her once more. All day we sat and watched as the light faded from her eyes.

  I knew her suffering was ending and I should rejoice that peace was close at hand, but I just couldn’t let go. The past flooded my mind, I could be such a wicked child; her love always held out, though at times it was felt that I did not deserve it. It was that unconditional love that never becomes severed, a never-ending bond between a mother and child.

  It was always us two against the world, side by side through good times and bad; there could be no other way. As the memories came rushing in, more tears began to shed. The questions that filled my brain haunted me that day. Did I tell her that I love her today? Does she know I am sorry for the pain I had caused in her life? Do I really have to say good-bye; this cannot be the end of our time?

  The nurse had finally said the time for good-bye was at hand, for death’s shroud had shadowed her face. The daughter and best friend slowly walked forward to the bed; to her side they each held her hand to say the final farewell. My heart ached so bad, the empty void I felt would never be filled again.

  The sorrow overwhelmed me as I answered the questions that burned deep inside. “Mom, I love you very much and that will never end for all of eternity. I am so sorry for all the pain and sadness I had caused; I never meant to hurt you. Now I must say good-bye, even though I don’t want to; I will let you go and your suffering will be no more. You will always still be with me, this I know, as an angel from heaven above.”

  Her eyes then closed forever and she was no more. My mother’s life force no longer flowed; her soul had gone to a better place. Her presence on earth was over, and her new life in heaven free from the pain had thus begun. I know someday we will see each other again, and I will wait patiently for that day. Until then though, my heart will continue to ache every year on this date.

  -In loving memory of my mother, Donna Flanner, who went to join our Lord in heaven on November 15, 2005.

  Back To Top

  ###

  About the author:

  Genevieve Lilith Vesta began her dream of writing at ten years old. She wrote poetry and children's stories. At twelve years old, Genevieve discovered the art of horror and began to write in that genre to this day. She wrote her first book, a children's story after her daughter was born. A fantasy called, Jessika and the Magic Staff.

  Genevieve was born and raised in Michigan but always dreamt of living in the south; when she turned thirty-seven years old, that dream was realized and Genevieve moved to Virginia with her husband and three children.

  There she finished her second book, a horror/occult novel called, Hell's Grim Tyrant. Genevieve's third book, The Sacred Dagger is a continuation of Hell's Grim Tyrant, which will be a series of four books. She also has a book of poems, essay's and stories called, Daily Emotions and another children's book called, The Adventures of Sam and Erika. Genevie
ve also has a book called, The Burning Within Our Heart, which is short stories about the beautiful emotion called love.

  She is now at work on her new book called, The Chosen Child. It is about a cult called The Order of the Clarifying Luminosity, the OCL for short. The OCL wants to rule the world, but needs the power of one woman in which to do it. Jenna has the power to bring about the OCL’s new reign and she also has the power to destroy them. Which path will she choose?

  Back To Top

  LINKS

  Genevieve Lilith Vesta's Website

  Twitter

  Facebook

  My Writing Blog

  Book Buzzer

  Back To Top