The Morning Myth Read online

  No, we night owls don’t plan to get up earlier to get more done. We simply stay up later.

  After all, there’s no good reason to fight nature, and science has shown us that our internal clocks are not a choice; they’re given to us at birth and they’re ours to use, or misuse, as we please. And besides, as previously mentioned, it’ll shorten our lifespans.

  If I’ve said it once, I’ll say it a thousand times: Morning people I know—and that includes every morning person I know—simply cannot keep up with night owls past a certain point in the day. However, even though we may not like doing it, we can keep up with them if need be in the mornings. Studies have shown this as well. (Don’t let this confuse you, though; studies showing that night owls suffer when forced to comply with a morning-centric schedule are still accurate, the difference being that most night owls are not motivated to try that early in the day. Or as Fast Company put it, “If early birds catch the worms, it’s because the worm catching is rigged in their favor.”)

  Board-certified sleep specialist Dr. Michael Breus, author of The Power of When: Discover Your Chronotype—and the Best Time to Eat Lunch, Ask for a Raise, Have Sex, Write a Novel, Take Your Meds, and More (Little, Brown and Company, 2016), in Fast Company’s “Work Smart” column online, has said, “In the normal, everyday workforce, the late-night people are assumed to be lazy because they can’t get up and make it to early-morning meetings. They’re assumed to be undisciplined.”

  Now we know damn well that we’re not lazy—quite the contrary, actually—and we’re certainly not undisciplined. After all, we’re the ones with the higher incomes and higher IQs!

  That description is certainly unfair, and of course is only an observation of Dr. Breus that he clearly disagrees with.

  Likewise, he says he’s constantly bombarded with people asking how they could get themselves to be up by four o’clock in the morning and get a hundred emails done by six o’clock and be off to a huge head start. However, he thinks this is the wrong question. His reasons are twofold: First, chronotypes are primarily determined by genetic predisposition, and, as we’ve seen, there’s not much one can do to change their chronotype. Second, while being productive that early in the morning may seem ideal in our society, the truth is that you’ll be exhausted by evening, which could hurt your personal life as well as your networking efforts. And what could be worse for business than flunking at networking?

  He explains that a better approach is to embrace your chronotype rather than try to change it, and he tells employers that they really want both chronotypes in their workforce, albeit on the condition that they’re lined up with the right duties. In other words, while a night owl account rep on the East Coast who has West Coast accounts and can sleep three hours later is in an ideal position, if it were reversed, the night owl would be miserable while an early riser would be ideal. It’s all about putting people in the right positions, or more specifically, allowing them to work with their chronotype rather than against it.

  Going back to Dr. Breus’s constant bombardment with people asking how they can get up at four o’clock and be hyperproductive, aside from the fact that it is yet another example of living in a quick-fix society, where, for example, someone would rather just take a pill than see a therapist, it’s also more evidence of the brainwashing we all suffer.

  The brainwashing says that there’s one, and only one, way to be productive: Get up earlier.

  The fact that a board-certified sleep specialist, the kind who normally works with people who have severe intractable insomnia or some similar disorder, has patients coming to see him in search of a “quick fix” to get up several hours earlier and do a half-day’s work in the process, goes to show just how deeply ingrained the brainwashing is, and how desperate people are to “fit in” and “be normal” by getting up early, just like their coworkers.

  Then there’s the obvious logical problem with the get-up-earlier-to-be-more-productive argument: There are 24 hours in the day, we all get the same 24 hours, and the times of day we choose to be productive are entirely irrelevant to our productivity.

  One cannot dismiss the possibility that this desperation to magically get up earlier with the help of a sleep doctor may likely also come from the night owl sleep-shaming we’ve all had to deal with, and in many cases, myself included, have to deal with on an ongoing basis. Even when it seems that people finally get it, they don’t get it. They demand to know why we can’t be on a call at six o’clock in the morning. After all, in their minds, it’s just a call. Or the misperception, even among family and friends, that we don’t really work if we don’t get up when society dictates that we do.

  To us, getting up at 5:45 a.m. in order to make a 6 a.m. call is a downright nightmare, and I know from personal experience that when I’ve been in that situation, I slept very poorly, if at all, in anticipation of such a horror. Sadly, societal norms don’t allow us to demand that they get on a 2:00 a.m. call (yes, I’ve actually done them). However, that is slowly but surely changing, and it’s changing much more quickly outside the United States than inside, since the myth of the early riser is ingrained—nay, brainwashed—deeply into the fabric of American society.

  Some years ago I had my first bout with lower back pain. This came as a surprise to me, and caught me off guard, because I was one of those rare people who had never experienced low back pain.

  Then it came on suddenly and strongly. There was nothing structurally or physically wrong with me, there had been no automobile accident or other incident, and I tried self-hypnosis, relaxation breathing techniques, heat, ice, TENS machines, various pain-relieving creams, and on and on and on.

  Finally, someone turned me on to a book entitled Healing Back Pain: The Mind-Body Connection, by Dr. John E. Sarno, MD (Warner Books, 1991). I could see that my back pain was being caused by internal tension that either had no other way out, or that didn’t want to get out because the potential emotional turmoil might possibly be more than the mind and body want to deal with.

  The pain went away merely with the understanding of what was causing the pain. To put it another way, there’s no requirement to get rid of the tension or the external stressors that were causing that internal tension. Dr. Sarno referred to it as knowledge therapy.

  The huge similarity between Dr. Sarno’s book and this one is that both back pain and the legend of the early riser are uniquely American. It’s only American society that celebrates the person who “goes it alone,” the rugged individualist, the man on a mission.

  He goes on to explain the epidemic of back, neck, and sciatic pain over the past several decades as being unique to America, and wonders if after millions of years, the American back has suddenly become deficient in just one generation?

  What the book boils down to is that we’re all exposed to stressors, sources of tension, repressed anger, repressed emotions, and much more. In other words, the demands of our uniquely American society, where the individual is not only encouraged, but actually expected, to achieve to a high degree without outside help, is the cause of much needless back, shoulder, neck, and buttock pain in this country. And it’s all the result of tension that’s become bottled up in muscles due to the pressure to succeed in our modern society.

  Chronotypes and the Mind-Body Connection

  If one were to choose what Dr. Sarno’s greatest contribution was as a result of his work, it’d have to be the realization that there is indeed a mind-body connection, and, what’s more, it’s extremely powerful. No, it’s all-powerful. In the case of back pain, along with fibromyalgia, it’s been demonstrated via biopsy that the involved muscles are suffering mild ischemia, or oxygen deprivation. In the case of back pain, fibromyalgia, and other pains caused by the mind-body connection, which Dr. Sarno calls the tension myositis syndrome, or TMS, studies of biopsied muscle show an oxygen debt of anywhere from 1 to 5 percent. It doesn’t take much to cause the pain, and the brain uses it as a way to distract us from even more painful emotional issues.


  How does this relate to night owls and productivity? Simple: It shows that our minds and bodies are closely tied together, and doing something that throws the body out of whack will do the same to the mind.

  Take this book, for example. A so-called “normal” person would get up at six or so, get to the office by eight, and start writing.

  If I were to try that you’d be reading nonsensical gibberish. No, you wouldn’t be reading anything, since the publisher wouldn’t print my morning work product in the first place!

  What actually works for me is to get up when I naturally wake up. Some days that happens at 7:00 a.m., other days at 9:30 a.m., and most days it’s around 8:30 a.m., but regardless, what’s important is that I get up when my body decides it’s time to wake me up by hitting me with that jolt of cortisol. Once I’m awake I turn on my therapy light and read for a little while with my Great Dane, Mimi, at my feet, until the light’s timer turns it off. I also use Philips Hue bulbs in the bedroom so I can change the color to bright daylight right from my iPhone, and down to a dark nightlight in the evenings.

  Speaking of Philips Hue, their lights integrate with the excellent Sleep Cycle smartphone app, and you can set the app to gradually turn on your lights over 30 minutes prior to your alarm time in order to simulate sunrise, which is the most natural and healthful way to wake up. If I really need to get up early and use an alarm, that’s what I use, not some horrible blaring alarm clock that will just generate more stress hormones! For a less expensive option, you can get an alarm clock with a built-in lamp that does the same thing.

  Rather than follow some kind of regimented morning ritual, which seem to be all the rage these days (as P.T. Barnum said, there’s one born every minute), I take my time, maybe have a cup of coffee if I feel the need (but I usually don’t), go to the gym if it’s a gym day, and if it’s not I just ease into the day and get ready to head out the door when I’m ready.

  Remember that it takes a full two hours for someone who is so-called “normal,” meaning they have neither delayed sleep phase disorder (DSPD), which is characterized by the inability to fall asleep until extreme hours such as 4:00 or 5:00 a.m., or advanced sleep phase disorder (ASPD), which is characterized by people such as Apple CEO Tim Cook who brags about getting up at 3:45 a.m.; little does he know he doesn’t have a choice in the matter and therefore has no bragging rights!

  Considering the fact that it takes two hours to become fully awake and reach full cognitive function, what good would it do me to start writing any sooner than that?

  Answer: None.

  So, instead of the frantic morning rush most people are accustomed to, my mornings are more like “morning ease-ins.” During those two hours I don’t do anything requiring much brainpower, meaning I’ll get my political news fix, make and enjoy breakfast and possibly coffee—the key word here being enjoy, not wolf down—then go and get in the shower and get dressed and be on my merry way. Since my youngest is still in preschool, some days I get to see her when she gets home around 11:15 a.m. before heading out to my office or wherever I may be headed.

  And let me tell you, she loves that. If I had to give one, and only one, reason why I like taking my time in the mornings, that would be it.

  (For the record, I absolutely despise the word “morning,” and refer to it as “the a.m.” instead, but that would get very tedious in a book.)

  I recently read a book written by a big-name best-selling author that said if you want to achieve your goals, limit your time with your kids to 45 minutes a day.

  What?!

  That’s fine if you want your kids to have issues as adults and be on psych meds and resent you, not to mention that those issues will cause the TMS pain Dr. Sarno described!

  No, thank you, sir, I will choose to be present with my kids. One of the blessings of being self-employed is that I get to spend much more time with them than most dads do. In fact, they even made a point to tell me one day, together, that I’m the best dad of all their friends because I spend the most time with them.

  I remember as a little kid when two of my close cousins told me the same thing about my dad. Being able to live with him and hear that from them melted my heart. And it’s all because I refuse to follow society’s dictates and absurd “success” advice to work so much that I’ll never have the chance to see my kids!

  You may be wondering by now how this relates to productivity, and the answer is simple.

  Every day I’m in an amazingly great mood bordering on euphoria. And don’t let yourself think money has anything to do with it, because I have only recently recovered from a dire financial crisis caused by medical issues (including the extreme adrenal exhaustion caused by that stupid “get up at four” book), along with a total ankle replacement that not only took me out of commission for several months but cost north of $300,000, and on top of that I didn’t want to attempt to work from home while taking strong painkillers. Finally, and very ironically, quitting alcohol also contributed; without the booze and the hangovers, I suddenly had significantly more free time, and what do we do with extra free time? That’s right, we find ways to spend money.

  So if you think I’m borderline euphoric every day because I’m rolling in cash, think again. Sure, business and the economy are seriously on the upswing thanks to President Trump’s tax plan, but don’t think I’m happy because I’m loaded (with cash, not booze.) In fact just a couple of hours ago one of my senators personally called me on my cell phone, from his cell phone, asking for a campaign contribution because I’ve donated the max several times in the past, and I had to respectfully decline. He understood, and in fact the causes of those financial problems led to a very fruitful conversation.

  Okay—with the money tangent out of the way, the simple answer is that I’m extremely productive because I’m happy, to the point of borderline euphoria.

  Think about it: If you went into work every day so happy that you were almost giddy, full of excitement and bursting with enthusiasm, how long would it take for you to reach the top?

  Probably not very long at all.

  As Mr. Burns from the television series The Simpsons once said, albeit in an evil manner, “A happy worker is a productive worker.”

  So I ask again, why are employers forcing night owls to get up early and be specifically unhappy?

  Another simple answer: It’s the brainwashing. And may God help you if your boss is an early riser, or worse, a Tim Cook type with advanced sleep phase syndrome (ASPS), since they’ll expect you to be up and at work when they are, and they’ll shove their sleep-shaming down your throat until you’re downright miserable, not to mention angry and resentful of your employer. Now how exactly does that help?

  Natural Sleep Times = Happiness = Massive Productivity

  By now we’ve established that having to get up too early makes us night owls very unhappy, and being able to operate on our natural schedule makes us very happy, for numerous reasons.

  And that’s one of the secrets of why night owls are more productive: Left to our own devices, without being forced to comply with societal norms, we become happy. And happiness equates to productivity.

  In a study conducted in the UK by the Social Market Foundation and the University of Warwick’s Centre for Competitive Advantage in the Global Economy, with Dr. Daniel Sgroi as the lead researcher, 700 subjects were chosen at random and were either shown a 10-minute comedy video or given a snack and a drink.

  This was followed by a series of questions to ensure that the comedy clips actually did make the subjects happy. Once it was established that they were, they were given a series of tasks to measure their levels of productivity.

  The result? Productivity in the happy group increased anywhere from 12%–20% over the control group.

  Likewise, the researchers found a causal link between unhappiness and decreased productivity.

  Dr. Sgroi said in his conclusion, “Having scientific support for generating happiness-productivity cycles within th
e workforce should … help managers to justify work-practices aimed at boosting happiness on productivity grounds.”

  Or, to put it bluntly to employers, if you let your employees work on their natural schedule, the one that they’re happy to abide by, you’ll put more damn money in your pocket! Just think of all the economic crises and turmoil we’ve been through that could have possibly been avoided by allowing people to simply be happy at work, and therefore more productive. Even in good times, who doesn’t want to have both productive and happy employees? Aren’t companies graded on sites like Glassdoor.com on employee satisfaction? And won’t a low grade keep the very best prospective employees away?

  If you’re still running your company based on the brainwashing, it’s time for a refresh.

  “Sleep Pressure” Gives Night Owls the Productivity Advantage

  We may all get the same 24 hours in each day, but it’s how we use those hours, or I should say, how many hours we use, that determines our ultimate productivity.

  Sleep pressure is a term that refers to how long someone has been awake, and, you guessed it, studies have been done to explore the effects of sleep pressure on cognitive function.

  In a study at the University of Liège in Belgium, conducted by doctoral student Christina Schmidt and led by Philippe Peigneux and published in the April 24, 2009, issue of Science, a group of early risers and a group of night owls were recruited to take alertness tests in a brain scanner. Subjects had to watch numbers on a computer screen and press a button anytime the numbers changed.

  The subjects were allowed to sleep on their own natural schedules and they completed the test both 1.5 and 10.5 hours after waking, irrespective of the actual waking time.

  Both groups performed equally well at 1.5 hours; however, at the 10.5-hour mark the night owls excelled and pulled ahead of their early riser counterparts. Not only that, but their reaction times actually improved compared to the early risers’.