The Cozy Lion: As Told by Queen Crosspatch Read online

Idon't care. You are a nasty, ill-tempered, selfish, biting, chewingthing."

  "There's a prejudice against Lions," he wept. "People don't likethem. They never invite them to children's parties--nice littlefat, tender, children's parties--where they would enjoy themselvesso much--and the refreshments would be just what they like best.They don't even invite them to grown-up parties. What I want to askyou is this: has _one_ of those villagers called on me since I camehere--even a tough one?"

  "Nice stupids they would be if they did," I answered.

  He lifted up his right paw and shook his head from side to side inthe most mournful way.

  "There," he said. "You are just as selfish as the rest. Everybodyis selfish. There is no brotherly love or consideration in theworld. Sometimes I can scarcely bear it. I am going to ask youanother question, and it is almost like a riddle. Who did you eversee try to give pleasure to a Lion?"

  I got into his ear then and shouted down it as loud as ever Icould.

  "Who did you ever see a _Lion_ try to give pleasure to?" I said."You just think over that. And when you find the answer, tell it to_me_."

  I don't know whether it was the newness of the idea, or thesuddenness of it, but he turned pale. Did you ever see a Lion turnpale? I never did before and it was funny. You know people's skinsturn pale but a Lion's skin is covered with hair and you can't seeit, so his hair has to turn pale or else you would never know hewas turning pale at all. This Lion's hair was a beautiful tawnygolden color to begin with and first his whiskers turned white andthen his big mane and then his paws and then his body and last hislong splendid tail with the huge fluffy tuft on the end of it. Thenhe stood up and his tail hung down and he said weakly:

  "I do not know the answer to that riddle. I will go and lie down inmy Cave. I do not believe I have one friend in this world." And hewalked into his Cave and laid down and sobbed bitterly.

  He forgot I was inside his ear and that he carried me with him. ButI can tell you I had given him something to think of and that waswhat he needed. This way of feeling that nothing in the world but aLion has a right to be comfortable--just because you happen to be aLion yourself--is too _silly_ for anything.

  I flew outside his ear and boxed it a little.

  "Come!" I said. "Crying won't do you any good. Are you reallylonely--really--really--really so that it gives you a hollowfeeling?"

  He sat up and shook his tears away so that they splashed all about--something like rain.

  "Yes," he answered, "to tell the truth I am--I _do_ like Society. Iwant friends and neighbors--and I don't only want them for dessert,I am a sociable Lion and am affectionate in my nature--andclinging. And people run as fast as they can the moment they hearmy voice." And he quite choked with the lump in his throat.

  "Well," I snapped, "what else do you expect?" That overcame him andhe broke into another sob. "I expect kindness," he said, "andinvitations to afternoon teas--and g-g-arden parties----"

  "Well you won't get them," I interrupted, "If you don't change yourways. If you _eat_ afternoon teas and garden parties as though theywere lettuce sandwiches, you can't expect to be invited to them. Soyou may as well go back to the desert or the jungle and live withLions and give up Society altogether."

  "But ever since I was a little tiny Lion--a tiny, tiny one--I havewanted to get into Society. I _will_ change--I will! Just tell mewhat to do. And do sit on my ear and talk down it and stroke it. Itfeels so comfortable and friendly."

  You see he had forgotten that he had meant to chew me up. So Ibegan to give him advice.

  "The first things you will have to do will be to change your temperand your heart and your diet, and stop growling and roaring whenyou are not pleased.'

  "I'll do that, I'll do that," he said ever so quickly. "You don'twant me to cut my mane and tail off, do you?"

  "No. You are a handsome Lion and beauty is much admired." Then Isnuggled quite close up to his ear and said down it, "Did you everthink how _nice_ a Lion would be if--if he were much nicer?"

  "N-no," he faltered.

  "Did you ever think how like a great big cozy lovely dog you are?And how nice your big fluffy mane would be for little girls andboys to cuddle in, and how they could play with you and pat you andhug you and go to sleep with their heads on your shoulder and loveyou and adore you--if you only lived on Breakfast Foods and things--and had a really sweet disposition?"

  He must have been rather a nice Lion because that minute he beganto look "kind of smiley round the mouth and teary round thelashes"--which is part of a piece of poetry I once read.

  "Oh! Aunt Maria!" he exclaimed a little slangily. "I never thoughtof that: it _would_ be nice."

  "A Lion could be the coziest thing in the world--if he would," Iwent on.

  He jumped up in the air and danced and kicked his hind legs forjoy.

  "Could he! Could he! Could he?" he shouted out. "Oh! let me be aCozy Lion! Let me be a Cozy Lion! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! I wouldlike it better than being invited to Buckingham Palace!"

  "Little children would just _flock_ to see you and play with you,"I said. "And then if they came, their mothers and fathers couldn'tbe kept away. They would flock too."

  The smile of joy that spread over his face actually reached hisears and almost shook me off.

  "That _would_ be Society!" he grinned.

  "The very best!" I answered. "Children who are _real_ darlings, andnot imitations, come first, and then mothers and fathers--the restjust straggle along anywhere."

  "When could it begin? When could it begin?" he panted out.

  "Not," I said very firmly, "until you have tried some BreakfastFood!"

  "Where shall I get it? Oh! Where? Oh! Where?"

  "_I_ will get it, of course," was my answer.

  Then I stood up on the very tip of his ear and put my tiny goldentrumpet to my lips. (And Oh! how that Lion did roll up his eyes totry to catch a glimpse of me!) And I played this tune to call myFairy Workers:

  I'm calling from the Huge Green Hill, Tira-lira-lira, The Lion's Cave is cool and still. Tira-lira-lira.

  The Lion wishes to improve And show he's filled with tender love And _not_ with Next Door Neighbor.

  The Lion wishes to be good. To fill him _full_ of Breakfast Food Will aid him in his labor.

  Bring Breakfast Food from far and near --He'll eat a dreadful lot I fear. Oh! Tira-lira-lira-la And Tira-lira-ladi.

  A Lion learning to be good Needs Everybody's Breakfast Food. You workers bring it--Tira-la And Tira-lira-ladi.

  Then the Fairy Workers came flying in clouds. In three minutes andthree quarters they were swarming all over the Huge Green Hill andinto the Lion's Cave, every one of them with a little sack on hisgreen back. They swarmed here and they swarmed there. Some werecooks and brought tiny pots and kettles and stoves and they beganto cook Breakfast Foods as fast as lightning. The Lion sat up. (Iforgot to say that he had turned un-pale long before this and wasthe right color again.) And his mouth fell wide open, just withsurprise and amazement. What amazed him most was that one out ofall those thousands of little Workers in their green caps andsmocks was the least bit afraid of him. Why, what do you think! Mylittle Skip just jumped up and stood on the end of the Lion's nosewhile he asked me a question. You never saw anything as funny asthat Lion looking down the bridge of his nose at him until hesquinted awfully. He was so interested in him.

  "Does he take it with sugar and cream, your RoyalSilver-cross-bell-ness?" Skip asked me, taking off his green capand bowing low.

  "Try him with it in both ways," I said.

  When the Workers had made a whole lot of all the kinds togetherthey poured it into a hollow stone and covered it with sugar andcream.

  "Ready, your Highnesses!" they all called out in chorus.

  "Is that it?" said the Lion. "It looks very nice. How does one eatit? Must I bite it?"

  "Dear me, no," I answered. "Lap it."

  So he
began. If you'll believe me, he simply reveled in it. He ateand ate and ate, and lapped and lapped and lapped and he did notstop until the hollow stone was quite clean and empty and his sideswere quite swelled and puffed out. And he looked as pleased asPunch.

  "I never ate anything nicer in my life," he said. "There was aSunday School picnic I once went to."

  "A Sunday School picnic!" I shouted so fiercely that he blushed allover. The very tuft on his tail was deep rose color. "Who invitedyou?"

  He hung his head and stammered.

  "I was not exactly