The Accident Curse Read online

  Sure enough, Colten emerged from the house, covered in mud. He waved and smiled, and my heart skipped a beat.

  I got out of the car and approached him.

  “Sorry about the mud,” he said as he shook my hand. “One of the sheep got its leg stuck in the fence and I had to get on the ground to free it. Their wool helps them once winter comes, but it sure does get stuck in a lot of things.”

  “How many do you have total?”

  He motioned with his hand and I followed. We walked to the fence on the right, the one where the sheep were kept. “We have twenty-four now. We doubled our flock.”

  Colten lifted a metal latch and swung a gate into the pen. We went through and he closed it quickly behind us.

  “They’re Suffolk sheep,” he continued, leading the way toward a group of the animals. “Pretty standard. A lot of work, though. We only got them last year when Chris took an advanced animal science course at Northern. Part of his project was to take care of a lamb. Well, Dad saw it as an opportunity to get a flock started. He’d been talking about it for years.”

  I supposed it was a good thing the high school offered hands-on courses, ones positively reinforcing the lifestyle of the community. Of course, when I’d been a student there, I’d stayed away from those agriculture classes. My elective had been band.

  “And what do you do with the sheep? I mean, what do they add to the farm?”

  “We shear them for their wool. Eventually we want a ram to breed the ewes with, which will give us lambs. We can increase the flock, or we can sell the babies.”

  We approached a group of sheep lying on the ground. This close, I noticed their black faces, and large, floppy ears. All of them turned to look at us as we came near, but they didn’t run away.

  “They’re tame?” I asked.

  “‘Tame’ isn’t exactly right. We’ve built up trust in our relationship with them.”

  Colten squatted down beside one and reached out a hand. He patted the creature atop its head.

  The sheep—I guess ewe was the better word—called out softly in response.

  “They’re kinda cute,” I admitted reluctantly. Their dark, round eyes stared at me intelligently, and the thick wool looked warm and soft.

  “You can pet her, if you’d like.”

  I wrinkled my nose.

  Colten laughed. “You don’t have to. I guess you’re not an animal person.” He got to his feet and brushed his hands off on his jeans.

  “I see them as food. I don’t want to get to know them.”

  I expected Colten to frown, but instead he smiled. “I know what you mean. We don’t eat any of our own animals. I couldn’t bear to eat one I helped raise.”

  I sighed in relief. And here Dad had told me they’d probably butcher their prize cows.

  “Oh, here’s Rex,” Colten said suddenly.

  A large sheepdog came bounding toward us, its ears flopping out to the side as it ran. The sheep beside us scattered as the dog approached.

  “The herder?” I inquired.

  Colten nodded. The dog, once near enough, launched itself at Colten, its muddy forepaws leaving tracks along this long-sleeved shirt. “Hiya, Rex,” he said happily, running hands along the dog’s equally dirty fur. “How are ya, boy?”

  The dog wiggled in excitement, then turned its eyes to me.

  I raised my hand in greeting. “Hi, Rex.”

  He didn’t growl, which would have made me lose standing in Colten’s eyes, I was sure, but he also didn’t come over to me. The dog probably had the measure of me. You couldn’t fool them easily.

  “He’s big,” I observed. Standing on his back legs, he easily reached Colten’s chest.

  “He is. We’re thinking of getting another if we expand the flock again. It’ll be too big for him to watch alone.” Colten continued to pet the dog. “He’s scared off a couple of coyotes this year so far.”

  “I didn’t even realize we had to worry about coyotes here. In Arizona, of course, but not in Garrett County.”

  “We’ve got them. Not as common as in Arizona, but they do cause problems with flocks in the area. Still, I’d prefer coyotes over bears. Haven’t had to chase off one of them yet.”

  “I hope you never do,” I said immediately. “They’re terrifying.”

  Colten pushed Rex down, and turned to me. “You’ve had to fight one off?”

  “No,” I answered with a chuckle. “But Dad did. He left some garbage in his truck bed once, to take to the landfill. The bear could smell it. It climbed up into the bed and started eating it. Dad had to chase it off with a gun. He accidentally shot the side of the truck as well.”

  “Wow,” Colten said, beginning to walk back the way we’d come. “When was this?”

  “I was probably eight. Dad had a hard time trading the truck in. He explained about the bullet holes, but I don’t think the dealer believed him.”

  We went to the gate and exited the sheep’s pen. From there, Colten led me across the dirt path to the side with the corn. He opened a similar gate and we went through.

  “This is Silver Queen corn,” he told me, gesturing grandly with his hand.

  “How many acres?”

  “We only have two. It’s easy to manage, assuming we get enough rain. When there’s not enough, we need to irrigate, which can get complicated.”

  I shook my head, looking over the stalks of corn that were nearly as tall as me. How amazing it all was. So much dedication was required to make this work. I knew the basics of farm life, having grown up around this, but I’d never thought of it in terms of effort. Farmers had to be completely committed. Anything else would lead to ruin and waste.

  “Seems like too much,” I said. “I can’t imagine having the patience to do so many things at once. Sheep, cows, crops.”

  “We also have hens and goats.”

  I glanced at Colten and was rewarded with seeing him smile.

  “And this is your life, huh?” I asked. “You want to do this? Take over after your dad retires?”

  “He’ll die before he retires,” Colten told me with a smile. “But, yeah. I’ve never wanted to do anything else.” His smile faded slowly. “What about you, Marty? Is film editing what you want to do the rest of your life?”

  I paused and thought. “I like it, and there’s plenty of room in the field for me to grow. So, yeah, I guess so.”

  “It’s amazing to have such creativity. I can’t see the world like you do.”

  “Well, I don’t have the ability to look at a cow and see the potential of its girth.”

  Colten laughed. “Speaking of. Let me show you my girl.”

  We walked along the edge of the corn field, heading toward the farmhouse and barn beside it. I loved the way the stalks swayed gently in the soft breeze. It looked so peaceful.

  “You have someone back home?” Colten asked suddenly.

  My foot hit a rut in the dirt and I nearly fell.

  Colten stuck out a hand and gripped my arm, steadying me.

  I glanced at him and raised an eyebrow. “Isn’t that something you’re supposed to ask before you kiss someone?”

  He ran his fingers through his hair, but his smile was rueful, not apologetic. “I guess. But I’m asking now.”

  “No. I don’t have anyone at home. And I’m guessing you don’t have anyone here?”

  “No, I don’t.”

  “I can’t imagine why,” I said sarcastically. “Honestly, Colten, what are you going to do if they find out?”

  “Find out?”

  “You’re gay.”

  “They know.”

  His words took a moment to register in my head. They echoed through the caverns of my mind, trying to find purchase.

  “Your friends?” I asked for clarification. There was a slight chance he’d confessed to his closest friends.

  “Yeah, they know. But so does everyone, Marty. My family, the townsfolk. Your dad.”

  I gasped. “My dad?”

  “Sure.
I never kept it a secret.”

  My eyes widened and my heart sped up. Dad knew.

  “What’s the matter?” Colten asked. “Surely you’re not in hiding either.”

  “Not home, I’m not. But here…that’s a whole ‘nother story. My dad doesn’t even know I’m gay.”

  Colten looked at me sharply. “What?”

  “I’ve never told him. I never wanted to let him know.”

  “Marty, why not?”

  “Oh God, and now he knows about you, and I invited you over, and you invited me over. What’s he going to think?”

  Colten tilted his head to the side. “He’ll think we’re friends, Marty. There’s no reason for him to assume anything else.”

  “No, he’ll put it together. He’ll figure it out.”

  “Put what together?”

  “That I—” I cut off, not wanting to finish the thought. It didn’t matter, because Colten knew what I’d been going to say.

  “That you like me,” he supplied with a sigh. “Marty, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize no one knew. I’ve been too forward.”

  “I think I better go home.”

  Colten’s face fell. “Already? Don’t you want to see Lola Belle?”

  “Maybe another time. Thank you for having me over today. Apologize to your family for me missing dinner.”

  “Will you call me?” The desperation in his voice stopped me in my tracks.

  I took a deep breath. Maybe I was overreacting, but I couldn’t think right now. The thought circulated through my mind. My dad knew. I couldn’t slow my heartbeat.

  “Yeah,” I said finally. “I’ll call you.”

  He relaxed and nodded. “Okay. Then I’ll talk to you later.”

  “Sure, Colten. Thanks again.”

  Chapter 10

  “You’re home early,” Dad said. He stood over the stove, heating up a can of chili, by the smell.

  “I wasn’t hungry,” I answered curtly.

  “You hungry now? I’ll fix you a grilled cheese.”

  “No.”

  I went into my room and shut the door. I didn’t want Dad to ask me more questions. He’d eventually get to some uncomfortable ones.

  The noises of Dad eating dinner reached me through the thin walls. The scrape of a spoon in the bowl. A loud crunch or the Fritos chips Dad liked to add to chili. The glass clinking on the Formica countertop.

  Then the inevitable happened. He knocked on my door.

  My whole adult life—and a few years of my adolescence—I’d been fearing this.

  As much as I tried to deceive myself, there was no coming back from this now. I had to tell him. If not, he’d figure it out himself, and he deserved better from me.

  I reluctantly opened the door. Dad entered and I kept my chin low, refusing to meet his eyes.

  “Wanna talk about it?” he asked.

  “Not really. But maybe I owe you an explanation.”

  He sat down on the edge of my bed. I still couldn’t meet his gaze. I couldn’t even bend my knees to sit beside him.

  “Explanation?” he asked, softly. The tone he used was meant to soothe, like the way a hunter whispers gently to a dying animal. “You don’t owe me anything, kid.”

  I finally risked a glance up. His eyes, dark blue like my own, were open and honest. Would they be in a moment, when I confessed? Would they turn to anger, burning in righteous fury?

  “Dad, I’m gay.” The words felt almost tangible as they left my mouth.

  Dad’s eyes widened. Before he recovered, I rushed on, lest I lose my courage.

  “Before you say it’s a phase, or I’m in an experimental stage in my life, I want you to know I’ve been like this as long as I can remember. I’ve never felt attraction to girls. It took me awhile to come to terms with it. About freshman year, it all clicked in my head. It all made sense.”

  He was still staring at me with a shocked expression.

  “Uh…. I’ve dated several men in Phoenix, but nothing ever serious. But I’m looking, Dad. I’d like to settle down, have a family. A husband.”

  Still silence. It was almost worse than shouting.

  My lips trembled. I couldn’t say anymore. Not without hearing from him. “Please say something, Pop.”

  “Marty.”

  He stood from the bed and I nearly retreated a step as he came toward me. Then he put his arms around my neck and hugged me tighter than I’d ever been held before.

  I took a ragged breath. I hadn’t realized I’d been holding it in.

  “Marty,” he repeated in that same soft voice. “What are you doing? Why are you doing this?”

  I hid my face in his neck, willing my tears to disappear. Those wouldn’t help in the least. They might even damage his view of me more.

  “I wanted to let you know. Sorry I kept it from you for so long.”

  He snorted, a hint of amusement. “Kept it from me? Oh, kid, you don’t know nothin’, do you?”

  I pulled back and looked into his eyes, the question easy to read on my face.

  He still held me close; he hadn’t lightened his grip. “I think maybe I owe you an apology, not the other way around.”

  I snuffled, embarrassed by my showing emotions. “Why?”

  “I’m sorry I never told you this before.” He squeezed me once more, then motioned for me to follow him to the bed. We both sat. “When you were a senior in high school, I got a call from one of the counselors. Mr. Harris.”

  A knot formed in my stomach.

  “He called me in to talk to him. I went, afraid you were failing one of your classes.” He sighed and lowered his brow. He was reluctant to speak, which meant it wasn’t good. “When I got there, he told me he suspected you were gay or bisexual.”

  My mouth fell open.

  “I was a bit thrown off at first, Mart. I won’t lie. But then, that…asshole…had the nerve to tell me I needed to get you into therapy. He told me the loss of your mother had broken you. That it made you see all women as her, and you couldn’t be with them sexually because of it.”

  “Holy shit! Motherfucking—”

  His hand gripped mine. “Mart, calm down. Let me finish. He told me all this, and like I said, I was confused. But the second he said that, I got to my feet and punched him in the nose.”

  My sudden fury cooled. I stared at my dad, trying to let all this sink in. “You assaulted my high school counselor?”

  “Technically I did. Honestly, I didn’t hit him hard. No worse than a bloody nose. I told him you weren’t broken. That you were fine the way you were, even if you were gay.” Dad looked at me and curved his lips a little. “So, you don’t need to confess cause I already knew.”

  “Dad,” I said, choking back a sob. I put my arms around him and clutched him. “Thank you.”

  “Mart, no need for thanks. Every father should have done the same.”

  “Most around here wouldn’t, Dad.” I pulled away and wiped at my cheeks. “I can name quite a few who would have signed me up for therapy.”

  He shook his head. “Not as many as you think. So, what happened with Colten? He not your type?”

  I laughed, but it came out more like a hiccup. “No, it’s not that. I like him, Dad. But when I realized everyone knew he was gay, I thought it’d reflect on me. I feel so ashamed right now. I ran off. I ran away. Besides the day Mom died, I’ve never been so terrified.”

  “Because you thought the people here would find out?”

  “No, cause I thought you would. Dad, I was so afraid you’d hate me.”

  “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I should have let you know I knew. I didn’t want to bring it up because you seemed so uncomfortable.”

  “I wasn’t uncomfortable. I’m confident in myself, in my life. With Mom gone, I couldn’t stomach the thought of losing you, too.”

  “You won’t lose me, kiddo.” He patted my shoulder. “Now, come on. Let me get you something to eat.”

  Chapter 11

  I was too emotiona
lly drained to call Colten and apologize that night. In the morning, refreshed with a scalding shower and a cup of coffee in front of me, I dialed his number.

  “Hey, Marty. You okay?”

  “Hi, Colten. Yeah, I’m fine. I’m so sorry about yesterday. I overreacted. I hope you can forgive me for my abrupt behavior.”

  “I understand where you’re coming from. You’ve been away for a long time and didn’t know what to expect back here. No need to ask forgiveness, though.”

  “Thanks, I appreciate it. Do you think you feel like giving me a second chance?”

  “I didn’t think you’d be interested in one.”

  “I am. Very much so.”

  “I’m glad to hear it. You wanna come by here again? Or meet up somewhere else?”

  “How about I take you out on a date? I thought it would be fun to go up to Swallow Falls. It’s been forever since I’ve been there.”

  “That sounds oddly romantic. Are you a romantic, Marty?”

  I shrugged, even though he couldn’t see it. “It seemed like a place we could walk and talk.”

  “I accept your offer. You gonna pick me up?”

  “When are you free?”

  “How about after three? The park is open till sunset, I think.”

  “Great! I’ll pick you up then.”

  I hung up, a warm glow in the pit of my stomach. It lasted the rest of the morning and into the afternoon. I completed a few of my work assignments, though it took nearly an hour to send the zipped files to my supervisor. This internet was a millstone around my neck. I did have to call Dad’s provider and inquire about faster speeds.

  When the time rolled around, I told Dad bye and raced out to the Tundra. I felt buoyant, joyful, incredibly light. Colten seemed like such a nice guy. He’d offered to help me right off the bat when Dad ran off. Not many people would be willing to drop everything. I couldn’t wait to find out more about him.

  I pulled up to the farmhouse again. This time, Colten’s father stood beside him by the front door. Both lifted their hands in greeting. I turned off the engine and climbed out of the truck.

  Colten was dressed in normal farm clothes—jeans and a flannel shirt—but I didn’t spy a speck of mud on him. He must have dressed up for the date. I smiled.